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My mother drinks what I think is quite a lot, although I don't really have an idea what "a lot" is given that last year I got through half a bottle of tia maria in the whole year. I think it does put me off it tbh, she's not really a particularly appealing person to be around sober but drunk she's just worse in basically every way. Her apparent dependence on it is probably the first thing I think of if I were to consider the idea of drinking and it's a pretty unpleasant thought. Guess you can add that to politics in the list of things where I feel like I should just do the exact opposite of what she would do.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:27
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fuctifino posted:Get yourself a legal Last sentence made me smile, made me think of DaSharez0ne (coke if ur quick!) Yeah, there are always other options, and I will consider getting a weed script, though I have to say I'd feel awkward as hell vaping in a pub garden or wherever. I'm still not super chill with being high in public in general. And any other drug except for alcohol is absolutely verboten in my family, so it's sobriety or nothing there. Overall it's going to be the ritual of drinking that I'll miss as much as anything - rounds with mates, opening the wine bottle and the sound it makes as it pours, the physical act of drinking, the like. But that's the same with any addiction, I guess DesperateDan posted:british society in so many facets runs on booze to the point of reliance- several people were openly grieving for me no longer drinking, asking how I would deal with parties, declaring they would never go without a drink etc to the point it's kinda put me off booze a lot Yeah, I hear that. Even in this short period of (alcohol) sobriety it really occurred to me how deeply ingrained it is. Just another facet of living in a society and culture that is literally abusive, I suppose.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:29
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prescription, and you'll be able to openly vape in public. I don't vape indoors unless I'm at home, but I've had no problems vaping outside coffee shops or in the local 'spoons beer garden. As for other things, many other drugs are socially acceptable . If you are cautious, nobody would know a thing
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Book deals can be a way to pay someone for dodgy things using dark money. There were some dodgy 'book deals' given to compliant cannabis activists back in the day so that they'd fall in line with the goals of the incoming pharma corps.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:30
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Bobby you should definitely not drink anymore but also you should get a checkup if possible and get some blood work and liver function tests because it certainly sounds like you've got some kind of liver dysfunction or other issue going on there. But for real, don't drink. I've watched a "functional alcoholic" in my immediate family die from end-state liver failure and it's not a good scene, not at all. No liver transplants for alcoholics.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:30
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fuctifino posted:Book deals can be a way to pay someone for dodgy things using dark money. There were some dodgy 'book deals' given to compliant cannabis activists back in the day so that they'd fall in line with the goals of the incoming pharma corps. Aye, a week on the best seller list because some Private Healthcare lobby bought 20 pallets of the thin gruel and the rest are bought by podcasters to make fun of.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:34
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Failed Imagineer posted:Bobby you should definitely not drink anymore but also you should get a checkup if possible and get some blood work and liver function tests because it certainly sounds like you've got some kind of liver dysfunction or other issue going on there. Had bloods done couple weeks ago, everything was fine, apparently. I'm hoping that knocking the boozing on the head indefinitely is going to give my liver time to get its poo poo back together. Already the feeling of swelling has mostly subsided. EDIT I mean, I've complained about it to various doctors over the years, and they always pretty much shrugged their shoulders and ignored it. Made me wonder about what their threshold for being concerned is, to be honest
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Mar 10, 2023 14:37
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Failed Imagineer posted:That's honestly one of the shittiest titles I've ever read for a politician book, feels like an Iannucci bit Just wait for whatever Truss calls her post-PM memoirs. I'm hoping for Seven Weeks of Hope
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Mar 10, 2023 14:40
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Jaeluni Asjil posted:Encryption chat: Love reading encryption stuff, sort of a passion. This sounds good, but you still need an atomic clock on both sides, and them perfectly linked to still generate a key that gets sent. It's horribly overly complicated.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:43
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Barry Foster posted:Had bloods done couple weeks ago, everything was fine, apparently. I'm hoping that knocking the boozing on the head indefinitely is going to give my liver time to get its poo poo back together. Already the feeling of swelling has mostly subsided. Good to hear! The liver has huge capacity for regeneration anyway, up to a point. Best not to tiptoe too close to that line though.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:56
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Barry Foster posted:I'm unfortunate in that I'm a really good drunk (with a pretty massive alcohol tolerance), and I don't think it's just projection that people prefer being around me after a few drinks than when I'm sober. I have had some issues with potential stomach ulcers (booze and lots of ibuprofen for the hangovers...) and also my liver area is always really painful when I'm drinking (when it's really bad it hurts to take a deep breath), so that's a reasonable enough "excuse" for a month or so. After that, well, I guess I'm just gonna have to start being honest with people, which is that booze is always the main event for me, rather than the activity that it accompanies or the people I'm with. And when I start I can't stop (acutely - I usually only drink on Saturdays). Go to an AA meeting.
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Mar 10, 2023 14:58
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Failed Imagineer posted:Good to hear! The liver has huge capacity for regeneration anyway, up to a point. Best not to tiptoe too close to that line though. I won't be anymore. smellmycheese posted:Go to an AA meeting. I'd prefer not to, to be honest. I'm already in intensive psychotherapy, which has really helped in getting me to this point. If I slip up I'll consider it, though.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:02
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AA sounds like it would drive me to drink more than anything to be honest. Especially if you already have a therapist they seem like they'd be more help than a weird cult centered around converting people in crisis.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:07
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Barry Foster posted:Had bloods done couple weeks ago, everything was fine, apparently. I'm hoping that knocking the boozing on the head indefinitely is going to give my liver time to get its poo poo back together. Already the feeling of swelling has mostly subsided. it’s a bit like a comment adrian chiles made, that there’s always someone a bigger drinker than you and she almost certainly has met them recently if you’re bloods are ok and you’re not yellow then you’re probably fine
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Mar 10, 2023 15:08
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OwlFancier posted:AA sounds like it would drive me to drink more than anything to be honest. Especially if you already have a therapist they seem like they'd be more help than a weird cult centered around converting people in crisis. This is entirely untrue and extremely unhelpful. AA meetings are rooms full of sober people - some are 20 -30 years down the line - who want to help others do the same. The religious aspect of AA is very overplayed by people who haven’t been
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Mar 10, 2023 15:08
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I have found r/stopdrinking on Reddit to be a decent community and worth checking out.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:11
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Camrath posted:Well holy poo poo, I’ve had people I know turn out to be non-posting goons, but first time I’ve had a goon turn out to be someone I used to know. drat, I'm sad to hear that. He wasn't a bad person, just rubbed me the wrong way. I remember him, him Asylum, AURA and many other things from Aberdeen. And I left almost 16 years ago.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:12
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Most medical professionals you talk to are going to have seen people whose illness/issue is a lot worse than yours. Honestly, if I went to see a consultant and they looked mildly bored by my medical condition, I'd probably be more relieved than anything. It's when they get excited or surprised that it's time to start worrying.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:14
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Yeah it's very meeting-dependent but most of them aren't especially cult-y. I think a lot of that animus comes from people afraid to get sober providing justifications for "oh I don't want to get involved with those cult-y weirdos, I'll just figure it out myself". Btw I recommend people check out S1 of The Dry, a comedy-drama-y show about an Irish lady leaving London to return to Dublin and get/stay sober, and how hard that is given *everything*. It's got a lot going on but is very funny and well-realised imo. I'm biased tho cause it was made by my wife's company and exec produced by my mate. I think it's on Britbox in the UK whatever tf that is Failed Imagineer fucked around with this message at 15:31 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 15:14
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happyhippy posted:Love reading encryption stuff, sort of a passion. I did just read a big old article on it in my paper copy of Physics World which is why I thought about it in the chat. I think the guy is looking to simplify matters over the next few years, I think it's just at 'proof of concept' stage at the moment. But don't quote me. My MSc in Nuclear physics is 37 years ago now and last time I mozied into the college library to look at old exam questions (for exams I passed) out of curiosity I could barely understand the questions anymore!
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Mar 10, 2023 15:16
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'This Naked Mind' by Annie Grace is also a good read.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:18
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Dead Goon posted:I have found r/stopdrinking on Reddit to be a decent community and worth checking out. This possibly saved my life, and is the best thing to come out of Reddit. Almost six years sober now, and I lived on r/stopdrinking in the first month or so of quitting. Don't post there anymore really, but it's still useful to pop in for a read every couple of months.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:19
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smellmycheese posted:Go to an AA meeting. Yeah mate this. I am by admission a heavy drinker and can pretty easily get through three or four or even five bottles of wine over a weekend if I'm really on it, which I absolutely shouldn't be doing especially given I'm diabetic. The sheer boredom of the pandemic really screwed with me and I'm now trying to cut back to one or two nights a week of serious boozing (with variable levels of success). A good start is even just committing to not drinking one day a week you usually would and working from there. One of my major issues isn't so much that I need to drink on any given day, but more that once I have one or two I find it incredibly difficult to stop myself getting another and another and another. Drinking alone and not even enjoying it is a huge red flag. I sometimes like to sit up late and get blasted with videogames and TV as an occasional treat, but I genuinely do find some catharsis in it as a time to switch my brain off and forget about my stress for a bit. If you're doing that consistently and are just as miserable during and after though it's not a good sign. AA might be a really good choice there, even just to discuss your habits in a supportive environment of peers - I find being lectured to by professional healthcare types very counterproductive. One kinda left field thing that's helped me cut back is getting one of those Odeon unlimited cards. They're not actually insanely expensive (about 15 quid a month) and if I've decided I'm not going to drink on a given night I can distract myself by going to see a movie. It's pretty nice too because you end up seeing a bunch of hidden gems you'd never have paid up front for. As far as the liver pain goes that's obviously not a great sign and is definitely evidence you should cool it a bit. On the plus side as others have said your liver is insanely good at regenerating if you give it a break! In any case best of luck to you. Any small improvements are a step in the right direction and lay the foundations for more. E: vvv Yeah, I'm using AA as a catchall for any kind of alcohol peer support group. There are others that don't use the same framework. Find one that works for you! ThomasPaine fucked around with this message at 15:23 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 15:21
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I think being put off by a method which centers around breaking down your self image and reconstructing it in service to god, is a pretty normal reaction whether you have a drinking problem or not. If you tried to push the 12 steps on someone under any other circumstance you'd call it mental abuse.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:21
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SMART is like AA but with more middle management worksheets and less "this is the only way to do it and if you try any other way you'll die, tell your friends"The Question IRL posted:Very often the problem is that drinkers feel uncomfortable around non-drinkers because they are insecure about their own drinking habits. I've never known any like that, or any nearly as insufferable as the epic bacon people, and it's not like they're going to stop selling meat or advertising and catering for meat eaters any time soon, but the people who have done the moral calculus themselves aren't the ones wittering about vegans. Same with people who complain about 'virtue signalling environmentalists'. Why worry about someone raising awareness about improving the environment unless you're worried that you're unknowingly complicit in all kinds of horrors and the best thing to do is just never talk about that. Which does make me worry what the people protesting all too much about kids being taught about sex and relationships and consent are up to in the shadows.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:24
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Ian Austin's eyebrows raise.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:27
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In other news I'm sure this has been posted already but goddamn I thought Thornberry was at least one of the less objectionable Labour MPs, really disappointed to see her pathetically both sidesing loving Pinochet. https://twitter.com/TomLondon6/status/1634154708632829952?t=JNGBKsVWbcWV8cYfHe0lOQ&s=19
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Mar 10, 2023 15:27
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Good stuff, Barry. I gave up drinking over the lockdowns. I drank casually but increasingly regularly - a couple of drinks every month became a couple of drinks every Saturday which became a couple of drinks every Friday AND Saturday which became a couple of drinks every day when I was on holiday for a week. When I thought about it, I didn't like that progression, so I stopped. For me, once I'd broken the routine, I didn't miss it at all. When I've had periods of abstinence before (mostly for sport related reasons in my 20s), it's always been social activities that have drawn me back in - it is tricky to navigate a whole evening in the pub if you're not drinking alcohol - and in my case, I don't enjoy soft/fruit drinks, so it only leaves me with water. A few of my mates have also quit during the lockdowns, so I guess we were all quietly in the same boat. On end-to-end encryption chat, are there any apps that people would recommend for messaging/voice calls, or are they all much of a muchness if they're declaring they're encrypted?
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Mar 10, 2023 15:29
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ThomasPaine posted:Yeah mate this. I am by admission a heavy drinker and can pretty easily get through three or four or even five bottles of wine over a weekend if I'm really on it, which I absolutely shouldn't be doing especially given I'm diabetic. The sheer boredom of the pandemic really screwed with me and I'm now trying to cut back to one or two nights a week of serious boozing (with variable levels of success). A good start is even just committing to not drinking one day a week you usually would and working from there. One of my major issues isn't so much that I need to drink on any given day, but more that once I have one or two I find it incredibly difficult to stop myself getting another and another and another. You sound very much like where I was six months ago. To be clear, the lack of enjoyment was a much more recent thing - until fairly recently, my weekly Saturday night bottle of wine + several beers was exactly as you describe - catharsis, and a chance to enjoy TV, films, music, games, etc. And as I said earlier, I really enjoyed the Sunday hangover - sometimes more than the actual boozing - because I'd feel like I'd purged all the negative emotions that'd built up during the week. I'd almost never drink during the week, because I have to be up at six in the morning to go to the gym lol. But given the right combination of circumstances, the sky would become the limit. I've been really depressed and unhappy recently in general, which really started to tip things over. And it just wasn't making me feel any better anymore, at that point. So now I'm going to try and learn to cope with negative emotions without saving them up for my Saturday session. Really, it's always been being with my family that is the big trigger for really abusive drinking. I find it extremely hard being around my fash dad and manipulative mum and not get semi- to totally-sloshed every night. I've already taken steps to spend less time with them, though (which makes me desperately sad, but is sadly necessary, at least until they take their own steps to Sort Their poo poo Out). I'm going to be alright, I think, because I'm insanely stubborn when it comes down to it, and once I've made a concrete decision I won't go back on it, even if it would be better for me to do so. And in this case, it definitely wouldn't be better for me to do so. But I'm also aware that I'm not influence-proof and I'm not about to be complacent about this. I think the thing is that I'm not doing this out of guilt or whatever, like I would've before. It feels like I'm doing myself a favour. It feels good, even when there are moments of sadness (grieving, really, I suppose) EDIT Thanks Testro! And everyone else ITT for being supportive and open. It's much appreciated. Barry Foster fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 15:31
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ThomasPaine posted:In other news I'm sure this has been posted already but goddamn I thought Thornberry was at least one of the less objectionable Labour MPs, really disappointed to see her pathetically both sidesing loving Pinochet. "Now, obviously I am not a Nazi or a fan of Hitler, but when you look at the moral degeneracy on display in Weimar Germany it was obvious that someone like Hitler would win wide appeal. Again I am not a Nazi." *full SS uniform and battle flag and mauser rifle and a 6 foot fasces topped with a golden reichsadler fall out of cupboard behind me as I speak*
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Mar 10, 2023 15:31
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Guavanaut posted:SMART is like AA but with more middle management worksheets and less "this is the only way to do it and if you try any other way you'll die, tell your friends" Yeah when we got my FIL to quit drinking he got along much better with SMART because he is a former Vietnam-era USArmy Captain with terminal Engineer/Economist Brain and a low tolerance for woo. Of course he eventually decided he couldn't be bothered with either so 
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Mar 10, 2023 15:34
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I don't know the specifics of your situation but blood relatives can just be poo poo people. And while they may be familiar, they don't have to be family. It can be hard to separate happy memories from the lovely ones but I generally think of it as joy being more about the person experiencing it than the thing that it fixates on. You said yourself you don't enjoy the same things you might otherwise, without being in the right frame of mind, so it is possible for lovely people to have inspired happy memories in the past, but it doesn't make them less lovely, and I don't think they are owed consideration in the future. Our ability to find joy in lovely situations is more a testament to our own capabilities than the lovely situation actually being good and something we should want to inflict on ourselves or others again.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:41
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ThomasPaine posted:In other news I'm sure this has been posted already but goddamn I thought Thornberry was at least one of the less objectionable Labour MPs, really disappointed to see her pathetically both sidesing loving Pinochet. Agree- Thornberry is one of the biggest disappointments and I had hoped for better from her. Her performance on PMQs when the Corbmeister was LOTO 'nearly' won my mum over - she votes Green now - her eyes were sparkling and she's like 'who is THAT'? - and a few other elderly ladies I know were impressed by her.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:45
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I haven't had a drink since July? last year and my advice is to maybe find a socially acceptable excuse for the first week or two, but you're gonna have to rip that band-aid off no matter what so sooner than later and honesty is the best bet. You had to quit for a week and then you felt so much better you decided to not start up again sort of thing. If they push, push back, don't be the one in the conversation that leaves it feeling uncomfortable. I'm lucky that over here or maybe just among people I know, "I don't drink, but thanks for the offer" is the end of it, but it's come up a few times. Never mucked around much with AA or similar, I just toughed it out until not drinking became my new habit and rolled with it. Everybody's different, but don't feel the need to make it any bigger of a deal than it needs to be. FWIW I said it'd be a month long thing too and ended up just keeping it going, weed isn't better but it's good enough. Just start with low doses because it's definitely not better for anxiety for anybody who liked booze in part because it chilled them out. It's a real mind gently caress once you quit and see how hosed up basically everything about alcohol is once you're outside of it. It's like gambling in how pervasive and deeply evil it is. edit - talking about it is a good habit, keep it up, lots of great people in this thread you can trust which isn't something a lot of people trying to quit or considering the possibility of doing so have Epic High Five fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 15:50
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Barry I hope you manage to quit because it definitely sounds like it's really not good for you on a personal level. You're a solid comrade and I think I speak for the vast majority of the thread when I say we care about you. I drink about one unit every few months because I don't enjoy it, but my transition into that was helped massively by having another person in our friend group who has never had a drink and doesn't want to, so it's very normalised for us. People even make mocktails for me and them if there's drinking going on. The point of this anecdote is that stopping is not only good for you personally, but could normalise it and help other people you care about stop or cut down as well. Good luck!
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Mar 10, 2023 15:51
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:Just wait for whatever Truss calls her post-PM memoirs. I'm hoping for Seven Weeks of Hope I'd go with Lizó or the 49 Days of Truss.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:53
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Barry Foster posted:Liver pain If you're pushing 40 - my ukmt.xlsx doesn't have ages on it - a possibility might be gallstones. I don't know if your tests included that at all? I'm thinking I might have the beginnings of those because I get twinges under my right ribcage after some of my food binges- it's intermittent and of course whenever I think of trying to get a dr appointment it doesn't happen for a few days. I know my mum made my dad call the doc when he got them in the night and he had to have gallstones removed & the consultant said that because it is intermittent and may be quite mild pain, people put off calling the doc until it becomes more serious. Anyhow, I'm not the useful kind of doc, but just thought I'd throw that out there.
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Mar 10, 2023 15:53
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If you're really jonesing and want to trick your brain the alcohol free Guinness you can buy tastes insanely close to the real thing
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Mar 10, 2023 15:54
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Testro posted:On end-to-end encryption chat, are there any apps that people would recommend for messaging/voice calls, or are they all much of a muchness if they're declaring they're encrypted? No not all encryption is equal. Signal is king, whatapp is pretty good too. Both use the same open source protocol. WhatsApp is slightly less trustworthy being owned by Facebook (or whatever they call themselves now) and have more data on who you are etc, but in terms of the content of the actual messages being sent, they are the same. So if you are just chatting with friends then WhatsApp is fine. If you are organising protests or anything like that then i would strongly recommend using signal instead as it has more advanced security and privacy features. Mega Comrade fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 15:57
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ThomasPaine posted:If you're really jonesing and want to trick your brain the alcohol free Guinness you can buy tastes insanely close to the real thing Yeah it's definitely the best of the non-alkies, if you enjoy stout. It's honestly better than half the crap pints of Guinness you'd get in the pub (and probably 90% of the pints of Guinness you'd get in the UK). Mikkeller also do 2 very good non-alkies, they even have them on tap in Copenhagen Airport I believe. Also just really bitter drinks go a long way to satisfying cravings. Our local Italian shop sells the lil bottles of red drink that are like Camparis but non-alkie. I know angostura bitters are actually alcohol so it's debatable territory, but a dash of bitters in a soda or ginger ale or whatever is a good brain -buster
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Mar 10, 2023 16:00
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Grey Hunter posted:What is it with every politician writing a book atm? You should be boaring and competent, the kind of person I would never want to read about. This little thing called ChatGPT which makes it a cinch to drag out your privileged life into a novel
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Mar 10, 2023 16:01
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