Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!

Veryslightlymad posted:

The description makes it sound like you started three offensive wars at once, which I can't understand the reasoning behind.

i did declare a couple of them at the same time, just cos we outnumbered them and to pounce before they could get alliances -- but yeah, not all them, just combined them into one for narrative purposes i suppose



idhrendur posted:

What a start. Do those wars automatically end with the king's death, or are we sending the seven-year-old out to battle?

the wars are inherited, yep



Telsa Cola posted:

Some wars end with leader deaths, but either way, the 7 year old won't be in the army.

would be funny tho. maybe if we transition to some sort of imperial cult-type government and get another child ruler, I'll mess about to make it possible for them to lead armies

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




Veryslightlymad posted:

The description makes it sound like you started three offensive wars at once, which I can't understand the reasoning behind.

If you significantly outnumber several smaller enemies who are close together it's usually much faster to declare war on all of them at once so you don't have to waste time resummoning your levies

Arbite
Nov 4, 2009





Telsa Cola posted:

God told him to

Gods, please.

Rejected Fate
Aug 5, 2011

Truly an auspicious Punic victory that heralds further strengthening of both our realms!

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


Human sacrifice is a good sign for military victory, and what human sacrifice is more valuable than the king himself?

Rejected Fate
Aug 5, 2011

Would we be able to get to see the Holy Sites for Canaanite?

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!

Rejected Fate posted:

Would we be able to get to see the Holy Sites for Canaanite?

sure -



three in north africa, and two in the phoenician heartland

Stockholm Syndrome
Mar 30, 2010
Have been reading through this thread, seems like a fun LP! Please give us more updates soon! :)

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!
soon! just been a bit pressed for time, but hopefully updates should start flowing again in the next week or two

Rubix Squid
Apr 17, 2014
Take you're time. You're more than worth the wait.

Stockholm Syndrome
Mar 30, 2010

Rubix Squid posted:

Take you're time. You're more than worth the wait.

This

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!


Part 3 — Carthalo and Canmi — 675 to 725


There were not many notable events in the reign of Adonibaal. He may have participated in a coalition against the Slavs, he may have declared a few wars and ordered a few raids, but for a man who died at seventy years of age, there is precious little in the historical record to mark the life and reign of Adonibaal, king of Little Carthage.

Instead, he would be remembered for another reason altogether — for being the father of Carthalo and Canmi.




Carthalo was the elder, growing into a young man with a compassionate heart and diligent nature, and was widely seen as something of a genius in the little-appreciated arts of accounts and economy.






The young king sought to stem the decline of Little Carthage by reopening the ancient sealanes and trade routes that had once made her so prosperous. Towards that end, he began the construction of a road network to facilitate the trade between port-cities on the coasts and the towns and villages in the less-developed interior —




Carthalo was the heart and mind of Little Carthage, but he would rarely venture beyond the walls of his capital. Those duties would be assigned to his younger brother — who was to be the strong right arm of Little Carthage.

And for good reason; Canmi’s childhood had been blighted by battles and the ever-present threat of doom and defeat. But rather than turn away, Canmi accompanied his uncles and commanders on campaign against the enemies his father had made — he watched as 1300 levies and mercenaries triumphed over 1000 tribesmen, a great victory for Little Carthage…




He was whisked away from another battlefield a year after that, when his uncle was caught in an ambush by another tribe, the Pictonians, and slaughtered along with his levies…




And when the final confrontation between Punics and Gauls arrived another year later, in an ashy field that surrounded the hillock of Namne, Canmi was there as a commander and warrior in his own right…




By the time he turned sixteen years of age, Canmi was granted control over the levy by Carthalo. He had a mind for tactics and strategy, and all the spirit and daring necessary to turn his designs (or rather, the designs of his brother) into victories on the battlefield.



And once he had his command, it wasn’t much longer before the wars started by Adonibaal were ended by his sons, bringing the entirety of the Armorican peninsula under the control of Little Carthage by late 685.




But even with this victory, Canmi did not return to Qart Hadasht…



Instead, seeking reprisal for defeats in years past, he embarked on a series of punitive raids against surrounding Slavic and Gallic tribes, burning and looting and sacking and carrying all the plunder back to his brother (though he spared him the gruesome details).

And as Carthalo no doubt intended, these raids proved to be immensely profitable, with the moneys won immediately invested in the expansion of crop fields in Little Carthage.




At the same time, Carthalo and Canmi began drawing up plans for further invasions into Gallic territory — and not mere raids, the brothers sought conquest and subjugation.

After a few years of recovery and renewal, they began in 691, when Canmi crossed into the lands of the Drevani.



The Slavic tribes of the region, who’d already faced and failed before Canmi in numerous raids, nevertheless prepared to repel him yet again.

But this time, the Punics weren’t looking for plunder and loot. Instead, with his tiny but effective cavalry force, Canmi managed to draw the Gauls into a full-on battle in which he utterly crushed the tribesmen.




He immediately followed on this victory by pursuing them back to their holdfast, defeating them in another desperate battle, scaling the encircling ditches and dikes, and seizing the settlement by storm and sword.

Once they were gathered before Canmi, the population was offered a simple choice — submission, or slavery.



The war was over within days.



And that was only the beginning.





Whilst his brother campaigned across the vast country of the Gauls, Carthalo worked to win allies to their cause. The king had had several children by his concubines, and as the days slipped into months and months blurred into years, he negotiated advantageous marriages to prominent lords and kings —





An astute measure to take, and this foresight would prove invaluable, because the chiefs and petty kings surrounding Little Carthage were by now frantically taking measures of their own — and in the year 700, a powerful coalition of Gauls and Slavs was made against the rampant expansionism of ‘little’ Carthage.



Canmi was not one to shy away from battle, of course. He gathered his levy, waited on the reinforcements and allies dispatched by Carthalo, and then marched on the coalition…

And in that battle, a single day of fighting in the verdant green-and-gold country that sat by the narrow sea, Canmi not only outmatched his enemy, shattering their lines and seizing a crushing victory, but he managed to capture and shackle the chiefs of the coalition as well — winning both the battle and the war in a single decisive strike.




As a reward for his stunning victory, King Carthalo gifted his brother all the lands won in that conquest… but Canmi had no appetite for lording and ruling, and it was mere months before he turned his sights on the neighbouring tribes of Turonians, Parisians, Senonians.



They faced him separately, they faced him in alliance, they fought him in fields and hills and forest, they met him in pitched battle and ambushed him on the march…

None of it mattered, these battles could only end one way.





But finally, Canmi called a halt to the constant campaigning and conquest —




Only a temporary halt, however. Back in Qart Hadasht, his brother had proclaimed the kingdom of Yamit — Punic for ‘that land by the sea’ — and he insisted that Canmi return to the capital to join the feasting and celebration.



The king was also eager to flaunt the improvements made to the capital to his brother, who’d not been back in his birthplace for years by then. Carthalo had been hard at work, and there were now immense cattle herds ranging across the countryside, new hunting grounds flush with wildlife, and a well-stocked library within the royal court itself.





But for Carthalo, this was only the beginning — he dreamt of a true city that reigned over a realm stretching across Gaul; he planned new campaigns by both land and sea, determine to dominate narrow sea separating Gaul and Pretan; he even fostered idle thoughts of missions into the east, to a place on the River Albe that they called New Rome…

But all those ambitions would be cut short with the return of his brother, who came back to him cold, and dead.




It was, of course, the strategic thing to do. The enemies of Yamit — and there were many, after the wanton devastation waged on Gaul over the past three decades — could not defeat Canmi with swords in hand, and so they resorted to knives and daggers instead.

At first, Carthalo refused to believe the news. And then he went wild with despair, raging and raving and ranting. And then he secluded himself in his rooms, black with grief, and drowned himself in drink to escape the pain.




Even the gods seemed to have nothing but curses for him, because a few short months after his brother was set to stone, Carthalo noticed a shiny red lesion on his arm.

Within weeks, he was known as the Leper King.




Eventually, it became too much to bear, and on a crisp spring morning in the year 724… he disappeared.



A few believed that he threw himself off the cliffs outside the capital; some swore they saw him serving as a wisdom in a remote Gallic village; many more plied wild stories about journeying to Old Canaan and converting to Judaism, or some such nonsense. Regardless, the only hard truths are as follows — Carthalo set down his circlet, donned a simple peasants’ shift, strode through the holdfast he had raised, into the city he had built, and vanished from the pages of history.

Behind him, the realm that he and his brother had forged was teetering on the brink of uncertainty and chance. Canmi died with only a single infant daughter, but Carthalo had fathered half a dozen sons, including warriors and scholars, schemers and priests…



The only question was who would inherit, and what would become of the Kingdom.

hashashash fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Nov 10, 2023

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!
:siren:Vote!:siren:


A simple vote to decide the general direction of expansion over the next few updates —


Option A — North — forge a realm that straddles the ‘narrow sea’ between Gaul and Britannia, likely embracing some of the traditions of the Punic descendants on the island

Option B — East — expand towards the Slavic realms of Germania, and likely leading to conflict with Nova Roma

Option C — South — continue expanding into Gaul, trying to end the current state of independent warlords in the region and form a lasting union of Punics and Gauls


The amount of actual fighting and wars we engage in will depend on our rulers and major characters, of course, but this will be useful for the geographic seed of the realm that will eventually form.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

We can’t be France again, and we are the land by the sea- A

Thordain
Oct 29, 2011

SNAP INTO A GRIMM JIM!!!
Pillbug
The triumph and the tragedy.

A, we should not rush the final boss fight with Rome, and we should always resist the urge to become France.

Average Lettuce
Oct 22, 2012


A

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
I thought we were gonna get a regular Romulus and Remus there. A; let's try to avoid being France for as long as possible.

chrome line
Oct 13, 2022
A

BraveLittleToaster
May 5, 2019
A is the way.

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!
A, but let's also figure out how to brew la potion magique to help us win.

Eleven Eleven
Nov 12, 2016

A

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
A! The britannian punics interest me.

VideoWitch
Oct 9, 2012

A!

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

A

not giving up on my ambition to have us, one day, seduce nova roma

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


A

never become france

Archaeology Hat
Aug 10, 2009
A lets explore the mystery of the druids.

Rubix Squid
Apr 17, 2014
A to resist the temptation of becoming France

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
A The land by the Sea we were named, the land by the sea we remain.

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
A

All Gaul must remain divided

Hellioning
Jun 27, 2008

This thread has been about murdering Romans so far and I see no reason to stop now. B.

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



C

France is this thread's destiny. You can either accept it now, or wallow in failures attempting to dodge it

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
C - I don't recall another LP where we were France.

Plus, we're eventually going to play as somewhere else, so we ought to build ourselves a nice strong opponent.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


hoping to make a north sea hansalike personally

Hellioning
Jun 27, 2008

habeasdorkus posted:

C - I don't recall another LP where we were France.

Plus, we're eventually going to play as somewhere else, so we ought to build ourselves a nice strong opponent.

We were/are France in the Gaul let's play.

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




B. We shall have all the North Sea coasts!

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde
A

We're Phoenicians, the ocean is our destiny.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

A

You never go full France.

Rejected Fate
Aug 5, 2011

C

Would you all throw the legacy of Canmi to the wayside? It is he who fought the Gauls and Slavs! It was he who was undoubtedly murdered by them! By failing to press on our advantage, you give these enemies of Yamit exactly what they wanted! For shame!

Freudian
Mar 23, 2011

Absolute majority

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

hashashash
Nov 2, 2016

Cure for cancer discovered!
Court physicians hate him!
oh yeah that's extremely one-sided, can confidently call the vote there --- :siren:vote closed!:siren:

we'll be looking to the north then

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply