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(Thread IKs: skooma512)
 
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Femur
Jan 10, 2004
I REALLY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
yeah as long as the right people are sucked off, ain’t nothing gonna happen because we live in oblibigach. the only thing that will save us is after some fails on sends a few nukes.

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webcams for christ
Nov 2, 2005

Zürcher Kantonalbank and Swiss Life are being floated as candidates to take over for CS (DeepL translation):

quote:

The scenario now is a liquidation of CS, the source elaborates.

Finma takes the helm at CS, the shareholders lose their money, the special bondholders become the new owners of the bank.

Everything as foreseen in the rules and regulations since the Great Financial Crisis of 2008.

But now in real time.

What would happen to CS's bad bank in this case is the big question from the taxpayer's point of view, he said.

"Maybe the SNB will have to step in, like it did with UBS back then."

It would be exciting with CS Switzerland. This is likely to be spun off from the rest, as envisaged for the too-big-to-fail case.

This is where Zurich comes in, where CS has been headquartered since its founding by Alfred Escher.

Finance Director Ernst Stocker of the SVP has been busy with CS for weeks, along with the National Bank and Finma, according to another insider.

A spokesman for Ernst Stocker's finance directorate said he would be in touch if he commented.

CS is of great importance for Zurich as a business location. The majority of the big bank's Swiss employees work in Switzerland's economic canton.

An uncontrolled collapse would be a brutal blow for Zurich.

Interestingly, the finance directorate has the lead in the CS dossier and not that of the national economy under FDP woman Walker-Späh, the interlocutor said.

"The question will be whether the authorities ask ZKB to take over CS Switzerland."

ZKB is already one of the 5 systemically important financial houses in Switzerland. With CS Schweiz, it would become a domestic colossus.

A second candidate for a takeover of CS is Swiss Life. A spokesman for the life insurer would not comment on a purchase when asked.

Swiss Life would be interested in CS Switzerland if it were spun off, a Zurich banking source said yesterday.

Today, the rumor was corroborated by a second source. Rolf Dörig, the chairman of Swiss Life, is an ex-CS top man.

Whether Swiss Life would be able to cope with the "lump" CS Switzerland is an open question.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


https://twitter.com/zerohedge/status/1636029081169920001

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009
If number is_down():
BTC++

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Lol

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


https://i.imgur.com/90n8qMw.gifv

https://twitter.com/zerohedge/status/1636030317654835201

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


We went from a small regional bank imploding last week to a world bank potentially (but not yet, my lamb! It is not time yet.) imploding this week. Things are moving very fast.

Bear Stearns -> Lehman Brothers took six months.

Shear Modulus
Jun 9, 2010




gently caress it, bail out the crime bank

triple sulk
Sep 17, 2014



credit pisse

Subvisual Haze
Nov 22, 2003

The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault.

Shear Modulus posted:

gently caress it, bail out the crime bank
Wells Fargo is having issues?

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

We've checked it out, everything looks great. No need to panic

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

We've checked it out, everything looks great. No need to panic

Oh thank goodness!

HallelujahLee
May 3, 2009

Subvisual Haze posted:

Wells Fargo is having issues?

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
Seems like this could be a temporary Number Freakout or the the first drop of Blood


Wooooooo

Archduke Frantz Fanon
Sep 7, 2004

Monkey Fracas posted:

Seems like this could be a temporary Number Freakout or the the first drop of Blood


Wooooooo

number exists in a superposition of infinite growth and eternal collapse

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY
Nasdaq threatening to go green

a.lo
Sep 12, 2009

Monkey Fracas posted:

Seems like this could be a temporary Number Freakout or the the first drop of Blood


Wooooooo

sick of these freaking posts

spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

wide pickle
credit suisse needs one of htose dogs with the barrel of hot choclate around its neck

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

spacemang_spliff posted:

credit suisse needs one of htose dogs with the barrel of hot choclate around its neck

A Saint Bernard?

Paradoxish
Dec 19, 2003

Will you stop going crazy in there?

Mr Hootington posted:

I don't think the banks are strong like some claim if rate hikes have to be paused or even cut

This is what I was trying to say the other day. If you want to believe the economy is good and strong, then there's no reason for the fed to back off on rate hikes or fall back on their >5% terminal rate. Something has been very wrong for over a decade if the funds rate can't even touch its pre-2008 level without collapsing everything.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Mr Hootington posted:

Nasdaq threatening to go green

Part of this is because oil is being cornholed. One of the classical trades in the market is being short energy and long tech.

WTI oil just hit $67.06/bbl. Can't wait for these savings to be passed on in gas prices! :)

Paradoxish
Dec 19, 2003

Will you stop going crazy in there?
The economy isn't on life support but also we need 0% interest rates forever or everyone dies.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

a.lo posted:

sick of these freaking posts

Have you tried posting in another thread

Where do you think you are bro

Doomsday economics is literally the thread title

Pepe Silvia Browne
Jan 1, 2007

FlapYoJacks posted:

A Saint Bernard?

Come on Bernie is better than most other us politicians but a saint?

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

I want oil to cost negative money again, that was v funny

Pepe Silvia Browne
Jan 1, 2007

Mirthless posted:

Have you tried posting in another thread

Where do you think you are bro

Half the posters in this thread have trained themselves to think like Jim Cramer and other CNBC dipshits because they can't see something bad without automatically tacking on "but it won't matter number will be fine"

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


hope everyone who bought the dip remembered its corollary —— sell the rip

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

a.lo posted:

sick of these freaking posts

Turn your monitor on.

actionjackson
Jan 12, 2003

wow chatgpt was right

how is bobby axelrod involved in all this

cat botherer
Jan 6, 2022

I am interested in most phases of data processing.

spacemang_spliff posted:

credit suisse needs one of htose dogs with the barrel of hot choclate around its neck
:actually: those were full of brandy.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

"Plat, archives, search, avatars, reichmarks, rubles, pounds and shekels!"

Orvin
Sep 9, 2006




Has Credit Suisse tried the Crypto strategy yet? Issue all depositors and bond holders CSTokens that are totally backed by their “assets”. And no, you may not look at their books.

Paradoxish
Dec 19, 2003

Will you stop going crazy in there?

Pepe Silvia Browne posted:

Half the posters in this thread have trained themselves to think like Jim Cramer and other CNBC dipshits because they can't see something bad without automatically tacking on "but it won't matter number will be fine"

There are tons of posters here who will sagely agree that the markets aren't the economy and that the stock market is detached from reality, and then still throw their hands up in the air in despair when the market... continues to ignore reality, as it has always done.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Paradoxish posted:

There are tons of posters here who will sagely agree that the markets aren't the economy and that the stock market is detached from reality, and then still throw their hands up in the air in despair when the market... continues to ignore reality, as it has always done.

Just because it's predictable doesn't make it any less stupid.

HallelujahLee
May 3, 2009

just enjoy the content

Mokelumne Trekka
Nov 22, 2015

Soon.

*six months from now*

technically, this is NOT a Great Depression. using "Depression" so carelessly empowers populist rage. 1/32

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

Paradoxish posted:

There are tons of posters here who will sagely agree that the markets aren't the economy and that the stock market is detached from reality, and then still throw their hands up in the air in despair when the market... continues to ignore reality, as it has always done.

Yes. The stock market ignoring reality is frustrating Scooby Doo. You cracked the case!

Subvisual Haze
Nov 22, 2003

The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault.

dads friend steve posted:

I want oil to cost negative money again, that was v funny

It's getting there. Energy stocks are getting murdered this week. Many down like 20%

silicone thrills
Jan 9, 2008

I paint things

SKULL.GIF posted:

Just because it's predictable doesn't make it any less stupid.

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forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Credit Suisse "might be too big to fail, but is also too big to save" according to some fake Nobel winner, Nouriel Roubini. On the other hand Wikipedia tells me that Roubini has called Jim Cramer a buffoon who should just shut up so maybe he's onto something

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