Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to hang out with my friend until he visits a dentist?





there's something wrong with all the women around here

Serephina posted:

But if you wash yourself after the sauna, how much sweat exactly do they think is still in the swimsuit?! I think Germany even goes a step further and says no swimsuits in the pool at all, nude bathing only?

(In Europe this is all very normal.)

greazeball posted:

Update from Europe:

The reason saunas are nude (and you sit on a towel, not on the wood--you can also wrap yourself in a towel if you're not comfortable) is because there's also a pool complex attached and they don't want a bunch of sweaty swimsuits in the pool. You shower after the saunas and then put your swimsuit on. The pools are great with a bunch of water jets and bubbles and cascades, it's a really relaxing way to spend a day.

quote:

I (27M) am American and my girlfriend (28F) is British and ethnically half Indian. She is not religious and culturally very British, speaks with a British accent etc.

We live in the US and recently started living together. She works at a tech company. I noticed about half the days when she goes to work, she dresses in Indian clothes, even her heels are shiny gold or silver. The look is stuff like this. She looks really cute and I think it is fine for a party or festival, but it looks really out of place for the American workplace.

I have Indian friends in American and the women dress western here except for festivals.

I told her to tone it down a bit as it looks out of place in America and she might face discrimination and some of the heels look too unprofessional for the work place.

I work at a bank and everyone is dressed really formal.

She got upset and told me she will wear whatever she pleases and is acting cold towards me. I did not push it as ultimately it is her choice and she can face the consequences.

Was I the AH here? She does not even like India and criticizes the place all the time and the politics there and she identifies as British.

EDIT: Seems like most people think I am TA. I guess I owe her an apology and need to learn a bit more on the issue. I did not have bad intentions, I just want people to think well of her and I have seen her get mocked and catcalled outside.

Runcible Cat posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to not wear indian clothes to work.

quote:
I (27M) am American and my girlfriend (28F) is British and ethnically half Indian.

greazeball posted:

More than if you didn't have one, I guess. You do use soap and actually wash your workout clothes right or do you just wear them into the shower with you?

And Berlin just this week passed a law saying that it's no longer mandatory for women to wear a bathing top if they don't want to. There are privately operated nude swimming areas but all of the state funded ones require "appropriate bathing wear". There's no enforced nudity, come on.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA I created a tech support Help Desk for my family and now they're mad at me.

3D Megadoodoo posted:

For the past ten years or so, I've just said "I don't know how to solve problems with computers because I'm not a loving idiot so I've literally never had a problem with computers" to everyone asking for help. It works after a while. (I know how to solve some problems that I've had but they're not problems any of my relatives will ever encounter. Like "how do I get this ATI EGA Wonder to work with my Commodore 1084".)

e: I started with "I know gently caress-all about tablet computers because they're poo poo so I've never used or even touched one" and that seemed to work so I expanded a bit.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I think you're really showing your age if you think kids (especially kids that won't start school for 5 years) would know/care about Bart Simpson. My kids barely know who he is and they are 14-16.

quote:

My husband's older brother Tom is married to Valerie. Valerie has an 8 year old daughter who Tom adopted last year. Valerie and Tom are expecting another baby together. Their daughter had suggestions for names for her baby brother or sister. Namely names that were nature themed (Wren, Dove, Lark, River, Hawthorn, Forrest, Cove, Ocean). My name is actually among one she suggested. My own brother has a bird name along with me lol. Tom proceeded to tell his daughter that those were not real names and that I had always disliked/hated my name and they didn't want their little baby to be the same. He said this in front of me and my husband. My husband thought he was crazy and told him I had never said that. Tom glared at my husband. Then his daughter asked me if I hated my name and I said I didn't. Valerie said it didn't really matter what I thought, but they didn't want their kid to have a weird name and she told their daughter they wanted baby to have a lovely name like she has. Their daughter said she liked my name better and didn't think her name was nice. My husband and Tom's parents were like, let's not insult other people's names when Tom and Valerie started to protest and reminded them that they were in the presence of someone with one of the so called "ridiculous names".

Fast forward on a couple of hours and Tom came over and told me I needed to tell his daughter that names like mine do not work on people and that I want her to stop wanting a sibling called that and start embracing her name and the name they will give her future sibling. He told me just because I wanted to live like a freak with a weird rear end name didn't mean he wanted that for his kids.

I told him he was a lying rear end in a top hat for putting words in my mouth and expecting me to do the same. I told him nobody said he needed to like my name, but to insult it, to insult me and then ask me to lie with him was unbelievable. I told him I didn't need to lie for him and wouldn't and to get out of my loving face.

My husband and I left almost immediately after, apologizing for leaving abruptly to my ILs and to our niece. Tom called my husband after and said his daughter could have heard and I was an rear end in a top hat for saying what I did to him when she was in the house. My husband disagreed but I do wonder if I went too far.

AITA?

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA I created a tech support Help Desk for my family and now they're mad at me.

mutantIke posted:

Why would you admit to being such a terrible parent?

Barudak posted:

Euros sound loving disgusting.

Its one shower->nude onsen->sauna->shower in countries where the light of Amaterasu still shines

Collapsing Farts posted:

Just name him PRICKS IN YOUR STUPID FACE and be done with it

Runcible Cat posted:

Baby name drama!

AITA for telling my husband's brother he's a lying rear end in a top hat

The Diddler posted:

If your major concern about naming a child is what it rhymes with, just name your kid Orange and be done with it.

quote:

About a month ago, my (24, M) parents (55 F, 57 M) announced they were getting divorced. This has been quite a shock to most people as they seemed to be having to issues out of the ordinary. However, I have been the one privy to the information of why they are divorcing.

It's because of my sister "Anne" (26 F). Anne is a deadbeat. She has never worked more than 14 hours a week since getting expelled from college for multiple acts of cheating and code of conduct violations 5 years ago. All she does is sit at home most days watching TV or going over to her loser boyfriend's house to get high. She feels no need to support herself and expects my parents to carry her through life. She's been in therapy since she was 14 but cannot keep one for more than a year because she gets dropped as a client due to her lying and inability to show up to appointments. My parents have spent over a decade trying to get some mental issue pinned down for Anne and all they've gotten is she's just a lazy narcissist.

Last year my Mom decided enough was enough and planned to kick Anne to the curb and wash her hands of her. Dad disagreed, and in the end, the two's marriage got torn apart. I know because both have come to me basically admitting that if Anne was not a factor divorce would not even be a consideration.

I don't get along with Anne for a variety of reasons. She has always been a bully and owes me a large sum of money at the moment. The thing that boils my blood though is that she's oblivious to the situation between our parents, or just doesn't care. She had a literal tantrum when the possibility of the house being sold came up because she didn't want to have to move to an apartment with my dad.

Last night I found myself at my parent's house and had the misfortune of talking to Anne. Anne mentioned that she's getting really sick of my mom's "melodramatic poo poo" and not just leaving the house to her and my dad. Something struck me at that moment and I just asked Anne if she really does not care that she's such a selfish, garbage, waste of space human that she's driven her parents to get a divorce. I elaborated, and told her the full truth that she is in fact the only reason they are getting a divorce because mom's finally realized that there is no hope Anne will ever grow up.

The shitstorm this caused was massive. Anne acted as if I sold her out to the Romans and my parents argued between "she deserves to know" and "we told you that in confidence." Because Anne cannot keep her mouth shut either, the entire extended family has begun to hear too. I want to know before opinions start forming outside the inner circle if I am the rear end in a top hat here.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my sister she's the reason our parents are divorcing.

haveblue posted:

Because the Simpsons hasn’t been good since well before they were born?

The Diddler posted:

If your major concern about naming a child is what it rhymes with, just name your kid Orange and be done with it.

greazeball posted:

Update from Europe:

The reason saunas are nude (and you sit on a towel, not on the wood--you can also wrap yourself in a towel if you're not comfortable) is because there's also a pool complex attached and they don't want a bunch of sweaty swimsuits in the pool. You shower after the saunas and then put your swimsuit on. The pools are great with a bunch of water jets and bubbles and cascades, it's a really relaxing way to spend a day.

Jabor posted:

Yes, I'm sure the kids will absolutely love all the 90s reference that Dad bursts out laughing over. They definitely won't think it's old and cringe.

Kitfox88 posted:

Why are you volunteering to spend time around this rear end in a top hat? You suck.

OP posted:

When he first moved here from NY I was his only friend for like a year so I feel bad. I genuinely care about him / his dog but it’s so hard to be sitting next to him. And yeah he doesn’t realize that we just keep salaries / balances to ourselves because who needs to share those? It’s just wild to me that he doesn’t correct such an easy issue. Yet complains constantly when he has yet to get a 2nd date off any app he’s on. Gee I wonder why 😖

quote:

Pity is an awful reason to be friends with someone.

OP posted:

True. I just hate giving up on someone but he’s doing it to himself. Hopefully one day he comes to his senses until then I’ll probably distance myself completely.

Foo Diddley posted:

quote:

My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.

She lived with her father in London where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor She married a British man, they moved to America and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her neices and grand neices as she could.

When she passed away she left money for every girl relative she could.

My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.

When I graduated I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.

I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don't give two fucks. [atta girl - ed.]

I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete rear end in a top hat for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don't really get my culture. Neither do I to be honest.

My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an rear end in a top hat for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.

I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don't want to have this debt I should not have.

quote:

I (25F) recently lost my mother to cancer. Me and my brother (35M) are her only children. For the past 7 years, I’ve been staying in an apartment my mother bought. She always told me that when she died, she wanted me to have it because she worked so hard to ensure I always had somewhere to live. So when she died, she left me the apartment in the will. My brother has no issue with this, he makes more than enough of his own money and actually owns an apartment in the same building.

However, my aunts (A and B) have an issue with this. A has had money issues for as long as I’ve known her and my mother was always helping her out with money when she was alive. B is financially stable, but in no position to help A. They both think that since I make enough money to be able to rent a place, I should let A stay in the apartment and rent my own because that’s what my mother would have wanted.

I said no, stating that my mother wanted me to have a place of my own. I am currently saving all the money I would have used on rent and intend to buy my own house when I have enough saved.

When I said no, they then suggested that I should share some of the money my mother left me with them. She had two life insurance policies, both of which went only to my brother and I. She also left us the house and her car. Basically, everything was split between my brother and I and no one else got anything. My aunts feel that this was wrong and that they, especially A, deserve some of the money.

My brother blocked them all on platforms when they asked this of him and suggests I do the same, but I feel guilty about cutting off my family.

But I also feel strongly that if my mother wanted them to get money, she would have left them something. But she didn’t. She chose to leave EVERYTHING to my brother and I. My aunts are saying that my mother did that because she assumed we would share. But I knew my mother. She would have told me if she wanted me to do that. All she said was that she wanted to die knowing that me and my brother would be able to support ourselves.

So, AITA for not giving money to A or allowing A to stay in my apartment?

Jabor posted:

Yes, I'm sure the kids will absolutely love all the 90s reference that Dad bursts out laughing over. They definitely won't think it's old and cringe.

FMguru posted:

I know your mother very explicitly left 100% percent of her estate to you and your brother and 0% to us, but what she clearly meant was for you to give us a big chunk of it, that's why she gave us 0%. Isn't it obvious?

Cacator posted:

The Simpsons was referencing poo poo from decades before the show aired. Didn't seem to bother 90s kids.

haveblue posted:

It comes up in this thread a lot, but this is why your will should give people you hate a pittance, just so they can't argue that you might have been thinking something else. You thought about them and decided to write down that they get (almost) nothing

haveblue posted:

It comes up in this thread a lot, but this is why your will should give people you hate a pittance, just so they can't argue that you might have been thinking something else. You thought about them and decided to write down that they get (almost) nothing