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Android Apocalypse posted:Speaking of maintaining friendships, I met up with some friends today to have lunch. It was nice to catch up for a couple hours over burgers & they each thanked me for arranging the meet up. One of the friends recently had their second kid so I know their time is becoming even more limited. I appreciate the veganity (think I just made that up) and also keto-ness. May do another round of keto, but tbh I’ve only got like 5-10 lbs to drop so it’s probably unnecessary. Also I need to start planning more things myself but it’s just so hard to not live day-to-day at this point with kids.
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Mar 26, 2023 02:52
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I hesitate to have kids because, among many other things, the one consistent thing I've seen about parenthood through my life is that it makes people incredibly loving boring (I deeply love my parents, but they had significant struggles maintaining friendships for a long, long time). Intimidating a kid's significant other seems like a pretty big symptom of that.
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Mar 26, 2023 02:52
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Manoueverable posted:I hesitate to have kids because, among many other things, the one consistent thing I've seen about parenthood through my life is that it makes people incredibly loving boring (I deeply love my parents, but they had significant struggles maintaining friendships for a long, long time). Intimidating a kid's significant other seems like a pretty big symptom of that. The “problem” of being a parent is that it sucks up 95% of your free time. So you barely have time to do anything interesting that isn’t somehow tied to your kids. Unless your job is inherently interesting I guess.
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Mar 26, 2023 02:57
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Bird in a Blender posted:The “problem” of being a parent is that it sucks up 95% of your free time. So you barely have time to do anything interesting that isn’t somehow tied to your kids. Unless your job is inherently interesting I guess. I have a 6 month and 3.5 year old. Can confirm. I mostly go to the gym due to the infinite grace of my wife as a hobby and that doesn't make me interesting bc I'm 35 and no one cares about my marginal gains since my goals are more self regulation and health than sick gains I aint got time to go out bc 2 young kids takes 2 grown adults worth of care and attention
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Mar 26, 2023 03:03
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More of my friends are having kids so if anything I am the one that initiates gatherings. Luckily I can arrange my schedule the easiest and am more or less the most flexible in terms of free days. In a couple weeks my old college friend/roommate from LA (that I stayed with about a month ago when I went to SoCal) will be in town so I'll host them for a couple days. Will be fun going around some old Portland haunts with them again, even if I'll still be on my vegan keto bullshit.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:05
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I actually get frustrated because I feel like I’m the only one even trying anymore. I have several single friends though and I think they just do their own thing most of the time, so I only get to hang with them if I make a point of it. My other friends who are parents never seem to reach out. Never sure if people just don’t want to hang, or if they’re all just not doing anything either unless I initiate. I guess I was always the planner back before kids too I guess.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:07
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You’re getting older. Your friend group shrinks. I have two friends from middle school who I was also in the army with who I text with daily. I may see them twice a year. I have some parent friends I see often. Granted, now I have my kids full time because my ex is a loving disaster, so I see folks less, but I do still make an effort, as do some of my friends. You’ve just gotta find your people and make an effort. If they’re good friends, they will too.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:12
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Bird in a Blender posted:I actually get frustrated because I feel like I’m the only one even trying anymore. I have several single friends though and I think they just do their own thing most of the time, so I only get to hang with them if I make a point of it. Honestly sometimes I get so consumed with keeping up with my own life I forget about reaching out all together
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Mar 26, 2023 03:25
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I’m unmarried at 37 All my friends are in this thread
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Mar 26, 2023 03:29
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Being a parent makes you boring but it also makes you very tired. It's a lot of effort to find a babysitter and go out so the inertia of not doing that is pretty strong. I have found now that my kids are older I'm more inclined to do things, but again, I'm very tired.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:31
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I had a friendship that was naturally sort of winding down and then it ended super traumatically in a way that I'm just now talking about. Nothing like someone you considered a friend, even though we were drifting apart due to distance and their awful drinking problem, getting arrest for horrible crimes to end things.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:35
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FizFashizzle posted:I’m unmarried at 37 35 here. I still see my friends but it's like once or twice a year and generally they want to party hard because they never get to so it can be a chore at times. Dating pool woooof. So many pictures on profiles from 5 years ago and so many "oh by the way I've got kids" a few hours into a second date.
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Mar 26, 2023 03:39
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That weird M3gan movie is on Peacock now and I'm like 20 minutes in and this is the most heavyhanded luddite stuff
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Mar 26, 2023 03:54
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I had a lot of fun watching M3GAN but I knew it was going to be kinda dumb going in.
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Mar 26, 2023 04:03
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It feels like all of the talk about the downside of having kids focuses on the cost, losing sleep, losing the ability to just go out whenever you want, and things like that. The worst part about being a parent is the endless chores. With two people working full time there is not enough time to do any sort of house upkeep during the week, so your weekend is always 5 loads of dishes, 3 loads of laundry, plus cleaning paint, peanut butter, or whatever else off of random objects in the house and picking up hundreds of little useless widgets that are probably accessories for some long forgotten about toy. Any plan on the weekend, no matter how insignificant, will lead to you scrambling to find matching socks on Wednesday or eating with a teaspoon because nothing else is clean. With a 6 year old and a 4 year old we have had 1-2 birthdays every weekend for the last two months or so, so don't forget having to go out and buy whatever little gift every weekend to spend a few hours socializing with people you don't know. Also having to make school lunches every weeknight that will not get CPS called but also that the kids will eat (50% of the time) when all you want to do is go to bed. Pain of Mind fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Mar 26, 2023 |
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Mar 26, 2023 05:06
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You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t
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the only school lunch related intakes I've ever gotten both involved a kid bringing meth to school. Also a few teens who brought weed to school.
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Mar 26, 2023 05:16
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Android Apocalypse posted:I had a lot of fun watching M3GAN but I knew it was going to be kinda dumb going in. The part where the kid kept forgetting to flush the toilet? gently caress I feel that one man My kid is 12 loving years old he's old enough to remember to flush the toilet!
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Mar 26, 2023 05:19
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Pain of Mind posted:Parenthood.txt And then my two year old just randomly comes up to me with a half smashed box and a ribbon barely hanging on and says she loves me and made me a present and I forget the house is a disaster and she just peed her pants for the third time. Parenting, truly a land of contrasts.
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Mar 26, 2023 06:17
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I get similar stories from parents I know from work. Parents are, bar none, the best advertisement against having kids.
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Mar 26, 2023 06:47
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by the time I was 7 my parents were making me make my own lunches every day I ate peanut butter sandwiches for years, lol, I didn't even like them but I didn't really know how to make anything else one time a concerned teacher gently suggested to my stepmom that they had a free school lunch program, in case we uhhh, needed it... we did not need it lol, after that I think I started also eating balogna or ham sandwiches probably I was also expected to do my own laundry, which I didn't do, and at one point - again, I was like, 9 - I told someone at school I wore dirty clothes every day, the rumor went around, my sister heard it, she told my stepmom, and I got in a lot of trouble (but still had to do my own laundry). I also once ruined a whole washer full of my dad's nice white work shirts because I left a crayon in my pocket, it got loose in the washer, and then my dad did his load after and the crayon went into the dryer with his stuff anyway I dunno what the point here is except maybe your kids can probably make lunch and do laundry and stuff if you teach them, but don't be like my stepmom and just assume it's happening without ever checking every once in a while I respond to conversations and remember stuff and realize my childhood was kinda hosed up
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Mar 26, 2023 06:52
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Leperflesh posted:
I do think most parts of college are largely bullshit and don't really help people. But being a 18 years old and meeting a bunch of complete strangers that are also 18 and figuring out a lot of stuff about your childhood you thought was normal isn't at all does have immense value. Not my story, but there was one girl who thought it was illegal to feed squirrels in the park until she got to college and her roommate tossed a peanut to one on the campus green.
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Mar 26, 2023 07:19
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Another Saturday night where I can't sleep so I'm watcbing Raiders of the Lost Ark and that loving nazi torture dude makes my skin crawl everytime he's on screen.
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Mar 26, 2023 08:34
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Wire s2 bringing back old memories of slow times and not getting hours when I worked the docks. Especially with the veteran casuals getting their B books and snatching up a lot of work. A few times it’d be a week of going to the depot for a couple hours and not getting called. Then again I had another job to make ends meet.
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Mar 26, 2023 08:46
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a sexual elk posted:Wire s2 bringing back old memories of slow times and not getting hours when I worked the docks. Especially with the veteran casuals getting their B books and snatching up a lot of work. A few times it’d be a week of going to the depot for a couple hours and not getting called. Then again I had another job to make ends meet. Seniority sucks unless your senior.
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Mar 26, 2023 08:48
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 He's a pretty solid movie companion when he's not trying to eat my snacks. My lady and I have a little bet going on if his fur pattern will be the same as before when it fully grows back from his shave down. I'm pretty sure it will be but she thinks it'll be more white. We'll see.
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Mar 26, 2023 08:54
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The secret to doing stuff as a parent is to wake up early as hell.
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Mar 26, 2023 11:35
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It’s hard to convey to a non-parent the absolute dismay of pulling a normal sized laundry load out of the dryer and realizing it’s actually 4x the number of garments when you start sorting and folding. That’s the worst part of parenthood. Also the number of dishes and the anxiety of being completely accountable for a growing human 24/7 come in a close 2a/2b. And while I’d never endorse having children if you aren’t 100% sure you want them AND while I’d never pressure someone to have children (ever ever ever), I would never trade the experiences I’ve had with my daughter watching her grow into a conscientious and funny little kiddo. That’s something else that can’t really be conveyed. So yeah maybe I’m a bit more boring than I was before. I’m tired, bruh. Ehud posted:The secret to doing stuff as a parent is to wake up early as hell. As both of us are posting before 0700 on a Sunday. 
LeeMajors fucked around with this message at 11:40 on Mar 26, 2023 |
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Mar 26, 2023 11:37
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LeeMajors posted:
I’m hiking 
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Mar 26, 2023 11:51
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The little one had her first birthday this week, and man, I am so tired. I usually stay up later, and get up first with the little one. I’m working from home much of the time, so trying to replace what would be bored time at the office with helping around the house/with the baby. Still means there’s almost no free time. But it’s been a wonderful experience. Seeing my in-laws light up with the baby is amazing, seeing her grow is…I mean, all of this is so rote and repeated, but it’s true.
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Mar 26, 2023 11:56
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Ehud posted:The secret to doing stuff as a parent is to wake up early as hell. What if your kid wakes up at 5:30 am every day?
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Mar 26, 2023 12:02
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Bird in a Blender posted:What if your kid wakes up at 5:30 am every day? That’s a rough one. We had an “issue” for a bit where she always wanted to sleep in on school days and wake up at 0600 on weekends but thankfully she seems to have leaned into sleeping in a little on her days off. I’m sure something will come up and throw it into disarray again at some point, but this is nice. Ehud posted:I’m hiking gently caress yeah. I need to get up there and tuck into Jones Gap like the old days. Get my hiking legs back. I’m just coming off-shift so wife and kiddo are still snoozing. I’m having coffee and listening to the Solid Verbal breakdown on Billy Napier Year One because I hate myself.
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Mar 26, 2023 12:09
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LeeMajors posted:I need to get up there and tuck into Jones Gap like the old days. Get my hiking legs back. That’s on my list. Haven’t done Jones Gap in so long. I used to hike a couple weekends per month about a decade ago. My favorite tradition was Table Rock and take junk food with me to eat at the summit. Bird in a Blender posted:What if your kid wakes up at 5:30 am every day? 
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Mar 26, 2023 12:15
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The wake-up time will probably change. He goes through cycles where he’ll spend a month waking up at 7, but then a month waking up at 6. The latest trend of before 6 is extremely annoying though. I need to get one of those timer lights that turn on when he can leave his room.
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Mar 26, 2023 12:25
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Ehud posted:My favorite tradition was Table Rock and take junk food with me to eat at the summit. My last time at Table Rock was prob 9-10 years ago. We scheduled in May and rolled up there. You may or may not agree, but I feel like typically in my dozens and dozens of times up there even 90s are tolerable coming from Charleston with the humidity delta—and nights are usually cooler and pleasant until later in the summer. It was a loving BROILER of a weekend out of nowhere and we were sweating so much we couldn’t tolerate building a fire or sleeping. So we packed up, got a hotel room in Greenville and ran out to a few bars. Nice little weekend. We did make the day hike, but goddamn did we pay for it in sweat.
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Mar 26, 2023 12:28
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LeeMajors posted:My last time at Table Rock was prob 9-10 years ago. We scheduled in May and rolled up there. You may or may not agree, but I feel like typically in my dozens and dozens of times up there even 90s are tolerable coming from Charleston with the humidity delta—and nights are usually cooler and pleasant until later in the summer. Table Rock can be miserable in the summer. We’d get out there right as the park opened if we went in the summer. Trying to go up that trail in the afternoon is awful in July or August. Going down the trail as it heats up and lol’ing at the folks going up who look miserable is pretty funny though.
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Mar 26, 2023 12:47
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I used to camp in Jones Gap a lot. It’s shaded in the valley and those spots are primitive, isolated and right on the river. Plus you can get to the entire MBWA from there w a good home base. Definitely my favorite park outside of Devils Fork SP.
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Mar 26, 2023 12:54
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Amen to whoever was whining about the additional time spent on chores when you have a kid. We start the dinner + bedtime for our guy at 7 and typically aren't done with him and with cleaning up the aftermath of dinner until close to 9. It doesn't feel like dinner produces an hour's worth of cleaning but somehow it always takes that long, it's maddening. harperdc posted:The little one had her first birthday this week, and man, I am so tired. HBD to her  , our son's first birthday was a week ago and it was a good but exhausting time. We had a small birthday party/late housewarming for him and us last week and wisely decided not to invite over any other small kids.
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Mar 26, 2023 13:01
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Ehud posted:The secret to doing stuff as a parent is to wake up early as hell. Bird in a Blender posted:What if your kid wakes up at 5:30 am every day? Don't know how much this is related or if it was always his habit through life, but I was the fifth of five kids and by the time I came around my Dad woke up at 4AM every single day. Just wanted time to sit and drink coffee and read the paper by himself as far as I can tell. This led to an odd time in life before I was out of the house but was allowed to stay out (not doing anything exciting, just watching movies/playing games with friends or whatever) where I'd come home after he was already up and we'd talk for a bit and then I'd go pass out. Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 13:43 on Mar 26, 2023 |
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Mar 26, 2023 13:40
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I used to laugh at my dad passing out on the couch watching the news (snoring, then “I’m awake!” when I’d ask if he was sleeping  lol) and now I totally loving get it.
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Mar 26, 2023 13:47
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Ehud posted:The secret to doing stuff as a parent is to wake up early as hell. 5:30 - 7 is an amazing part of the day
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Mar 26, 2023 14:40
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