Karate Bastard posted:

Lmao at being so bad at human body idk geography that having a face full of pussy causes you to think you are loving a dude jesus chist my sides

Autisanal Cheese posted:

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Presumably it's a response to the tweet in a previous post that posits any kind of "submissive" sex is gay.

Breetai posted:

There's a Norwegian comedy called Norsemen where a particular dipshit character gets hosed in the rear end by another dude and when the other Vikings find out he insists that as he took an active part in pushing back he was taking charge and was the dominant one in the exchange and therefore was Very Manly and Not Gay, and it's remarkable how this is entirely logically consistent with the aforementioned dipshit tweet.

YeahTubaMike posted:

I don't know if this counts as a forums quote, but "Getting hot and bothered over Dilbert porn" is the funniest ban/probation I've seen in a very long time.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_rsav1rPN9I1s1ddrj.mp4

Velocity Raptor posted:

A real peckerhead.

Abugadu posted:

It’s time for Lesbianiacs

We wear khaki cargo slacks
Carrying Jansport backpacks
And it’s optional to wax
We’re Lesbianiacs

Azathoth Prime posted:

Holy LOL, it was a reply to one of my posts that got them probed. My shitposting powers are growing!

No, I am not proud of finding said Dilbert porn. But a gauntlet was thrown, and I had to do the needful.

Abugadu posted:

It’s time for Lesbianiacs

We wear khaki cargo slacks
Carrying Jansport backpacks
And it’s optional to wax
We’re Lesbianiacs

Abugadu posted:

It’s time for Lesbianiacs

We wear khaki cargo slacks
Carrying Jansport backpacks
And it’s optional to wax
We’re Lesbianiacs

Abugadu posted:

Well he smokes around the world from Amsterdam to Humboldt county
he's a sticky icky puffer from the BYOB
is he a hard-hitting dictator or a chronic masturbator
Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler

Stealin all the sour diesel out from More Falafel Please
through epic highs and gettin low well he'll be - smokin the mids
Sprained his seig heiling wrist though when he fisted Manifisto
Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler

He goes from bong rips in Bali, Berlin to the Northern Lights
Showin off his Oregon collection of pipes!

Puffing Acapulco Gold while he's battling his bulge
He's getting stoned with Stoner Sloth and then he tried to Finger Prince
Hoarding all of the sativa from Heather Papps and Phiz Kalifa
Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler
Oh tell me where in the world (oh tell me where can he be)

He'll tie one on in Taiwan while he's ripping the bong
Flying Mexican Airlines to Maui - Wowie!

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

There's always exactly one person who is immune to being funged in these movies. They're the token non fungable

flavor.flv posted:

I honestly thought you drew it and I briefly respected you for it

PROBATED posted:

WHY IN THE gently caress ARE YOU STILL loving POSTING???

HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO DANE COOK?? YOU ARE BRIAN. THAT GUY THAT NOBODY loving WANTS AROUND.

GO.

THE gently caress.

AWAY!!!!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

haljordan posted:

Mike Pence is a stick of deodorant that someone taught to wince.

SubG posted:

the prisoner's dilemma, only the buttons are labelled "betray" and "betray, but with bitcoin"

haveblue posted:

bitray

Karate Bastard posted:

My buddy Abugadu has been hitting it out of the park with the song lyrics lately

Matches up surprisingly well in places

Karate Bastard posted:

Oh no what a tragedy! I bet it would have slapped

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

So here’s my one experience dispatching a vehicle struck deer:
I was in college, medium sized town in Arkansas, finals week, took a quick trip to Walmart for snacks. On my way back, on a divided four lane, cars in front of me start swerving, revealing a deer sitting in the middle of the road. A small contingent of drivers stop, myself among them. There’s a woman with her pregnant teenage daughter, a black guy in a hoopty, a couple college kids about my age. The deer is a small buck, antlers broken on one side. I figured he was hosed up pretty bad, on his way out, and I could just drag him off the road. I announced my plan to the few people standing around looking, and one woman says she called the cops already. The black guy in the lovely old car says, “I got a gun, want me to shoot him?” But I figured cops showing up to that would be no good so I told him not to. So I grab the deer by the base of his antlers, figuring he’ll be out of traffic, cops will come dispatch him, and we’ll all be on our way. Fuckin deer stands up as soon as I get hands on him, and charges me, antlers down, trying to poke me in the soft parts. Turned out only one of his legs was broken. We tussled for a while on the ground, I manage to not let go and keep him from sticking me. Finally get him down on the ground, pin his head with my knees, kind of get my wits about me, and this guy walks up with a Glock out. I thought he was an off duty cop, so said “ok, I’ll keep him down, you shoot him.” Guy takes aim at the deer’s head from a few feet away. The deers head which I’m holding to the ground. POW, fuckin misses, and my ears are ringing. So I says “Here, put the gun right behind his ear and shoot him!” Dude aims again, POW, hits the deer in his jaw. Adrenaline or something keeps me both from letting go and fully realizing what’s happening. So this dingaling comes and grabs the deer by the ears out of my hands and tries to break his neck. Twist, twist, and there’s a little pop. Guy says something stupid like “man, breaks my heart to do that, had to put him out of his misery though.” Guy gets in his car and drives off, and one of the onlookers says “Did he just miss TWICE?” while I’m trying to get my poo poo together. All of a sudden, the deer starts trying to get up again because of course his neck isn’t broken. I grabbed him by the antlers again as he starts to freak out and we tumble a bit till I get him down. I finally yelled at some kid about my age who was just kind of gaping at the whole fiasco to come help me pin him. He does, and I’m able to pull out my pocket knife and cut his throat and carotid and the deer bleeds out pretty fast, just a couple minutes. I pull myself together, and a lady helps me wash my gouged up hands with a bottle of water and some sanitizer. All of a sudden, this truck roars up and screeches to a halt and a guy gets out all breathless “Hey, I’m a volunteer fire fighter, I heard on the scanner, y’all gonna take that deer?” Cops still haven’t shown up so I said “Nope, you get the legs, I’ll get the head,” and we toss him in the back of the truck and he’s gone with the evidence. We’re all getting into our cars a couple minutes later and FINALLY the cops show up, full speed, lights and sirens, and I was done with it and bugged out before they could delay me.

Anyhow, that’s my story, don’t fuckin touch a wounded deer.

smoobles posted:

Bose before hos

Fritz the Horse posted:

here let me try the pragmatica thing

Grassy Knowles posted:

Platystemon posted:

No “hi”s.

No “hello”s.

Must be Bose.

change my name posted:

https://twitter.com/kadiagoba/status/1642908803912855553

theflyingexecutive posted:

Bottoms up!

Karate Bastard posted:

Sorry, I'm too dumb. Is there any other reading than she should give herself cirrhosis? Cause she'll need a few more for that.

zimbomonkey posted:

You are only the second person I've heard reference this saying in my life. The first was a pilot. You aren't a pilot are you?

Fanged Lawn Wormy posted:

Are you familiar with the traditional professional audio saying that it plays on, “no highs, no lows, must be Bose”?

Radio Paranoia posted:

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Always love to stop by Le T's Pet Puppies while in Paris.

Grendels Dad posted:

I pity the fool who doesn't!

freeedr posted:

Last night I was hungry but I had already brushed my teeth so I swallowed a whole string cheese like a pill. My brother came over and said “check this out” and started dripping a stream of water down my back, but actually it was not water it was CA glue, like four ounces of it. Someone poo poo in the pantry


e: wrong thread