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"Good news boss, profits are sky high!" "Woooooo" screams the boss. Then he starts breakdancing. e: Also the boss is a balding Chinese guy with thick hornrim spectacles. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 12:30 on Mar 24, 2023 |
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Mar 24, 2023 11:49
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| # ? May 24, 2024 17:34 |
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The Complete Works of Horny Shakespeare. |
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Mar 25, 2023 08:17
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Shall I compare thee to a salacious jade? Thou art more lovely and more unchaste. |
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Mar 25, 2023 09:36
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dude peels banana, eats peel and throws banana on the ground. someone then slips on the banana |
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Mar 26, 2023 05:50
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airbnb host welcome binder for a haunted house no seances after midnight unclaimed spirits left behind may be subject to a $75 cleaning fee trash day is Friday and the cans have to be left all the way off the sidewalk blood is ok to go down the garbage disposal, but please no viscera host can be reached by messaging through the app or in emergencies by saying her name three times in front of the mirror |
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Mar 26, 2023 06:19
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Trying to prove it in court that the spirits were already there when I got there |
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Mar 26, 2023 14:35
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Checking the liquor cabinet for missing spirits. Can't trust anyone these days. |
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Mar 26, 2023 14:46
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The AI computer system in an office complex has a terrible personality so they disengage the personality chip. They discover that efficiency drops 15% so they swtich the annoying personality back on. So the company then tries to capitalise on the craze by creating a series of obnoxious personality chips in a whole range. |
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Mar 26, 2023 14:47
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No dust, no cobwebs, electrical lighting. Horrible experience. 1/5 skulls, would not recommend. |
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Mar 26, 2023 14:48
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Prurient Squid posted:The AI computer system in an office complex has a terrible personality so they disengage the personality chip. They discover that efficiency drops 15% so they swtich the annoying personality back on. Life. Don't talk to me about life |
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Mar 26, 2023 16:34
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Wow, the "obnoxious influencer bro selling NFTs" personality chips are selling like hot cakes"! |
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Mar 26, 2023 19:07
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NFT mood rings that change colour based on how you're feeling |
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Mar 27, 2023 10:58
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I was told I could play my synthesiser at a reasonable volume |
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Mar 27, 2023 11:28
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rollin' up to a college party when you're 45. droppin' slang that was popular 20 years ago in a different part of the country. no one will sell you any pot, which is what you came for, but you do keep getting looks from the girl who you remind of her father |
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Mar 28, 2023 04:15
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Here is a 90W yonic thruster. |
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Mar 28, 2023 11:26
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Wanabee bees. They want to be bees. |
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Mar 28, 2023 19:37
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Next pixar mom is just a butt, and the protagonist is nothing but a face. You know, The Face. |
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Mar 28, 2023 21:03
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Karate Bastard posted:Next pixar mom is just a butt Holly Hunter reprises her role as |
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Mar 28, 2023 23:44
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A time traveler convinces someone that they are actually from the future by answering a series of softball questions "that only he could answer". Then at the end it turns out that he wasn't really from the future and was just guessing. |
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Mar 29, 2023 09:44
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Oh so he was from twitter? |
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Mar 29, 2023 09:46
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I like my pizza really, really hot but not so hot that it burns my tongue. If you loved me you'd burn your tongue so I could have pizza at exactly the right temperature. |
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Mar 29, 2023 11:32
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Tired: Eating pizza with a knife and fork. Wired: Eating pizza with a spoon. |
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Mar 29, 2023 13:07
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Eating pizza with a torque wrench |
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Mar 29, 2023 15:19
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An AI destroys humanity and the remnants band together to fight back in a war against the deadly machines. The AI's name: Hyper Spellchecker v.2 (Unregistered). e: They need to find the last phone charger in existence so they can turn their mobile on to buy the Activation Key and end the war. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Mar 29, 2023 |
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Mar 29, 2023 18:10
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*drinking a cold drink* Oooh! Now that's a spicy meatball! |
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Mar 29, 2023 20:56
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Prurient Squid posted:An AI destroys humanity and the remnants band together to fight back in a war against the deadly machines. "Thank you for registering your phone number, you are one step away from owning your very own Activation Key! We have just sent an email to the last email address associated with this number, please click on the link to verify your identity." |
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Mar 30, 2023 06:37
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The title of the movie? Where in the Whole Wide World is weedlordbonerhitler@yahoo.com? Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Mar 30, 2023 |
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Mar 30, 2023 06:53
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Well he smokes around the world from Amsterdam to Humboldt county he's a sticky icky puffer from the BYOB is he a hard-hitting dictator or a chronic masturbator Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler Stealin all the sour diesel out from More Falafel Please through epic highs and gettin low well he'll be - smokin the mids Sprained his seig heiling wrist though when he fisted Manifisto Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler He goes from bong rips in Bali, Berlin to the Northern Lights Showin off his Oregon collection of pipes! Puffing Acapulco Gold while he's battling his bulge He's getting stoned with Stoner Sloth and then he tried to Finger Prince Hoarding all of the sativa from Heather Papps and Phiz Kalifa Tell me where in the world is Weedlord Bonerhitler Oh tell me where in the world (oh tell me where can he be) He'll tie one on in Taiwan while he's ripping the bong Flying Mexican Airlines to Maui - Wowie! Abugadu fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Mar 30, 2023 |
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Mar 30, 2023 09:52
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The Costume of Living Crisis. |
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Mar 30, 2023 19:04
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Abugadu posted:Well he smokes around the world from Amsterdam to Humboldt county |
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Mar 30, 2023 22:25
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Abugadu posted:Well he smokes around the world from Amsterdam to Humboldt county |
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Mar 30, 2023 23:19
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Terrible name for a bar: Call-Ahead Just, what were they thinking? |
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Mar 31, 2023 13:43
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What? No, I said I'm into "pinting". Cheers mate! |
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Mar 31, 2023 18:22
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My rear end is intelligently designed. |
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Mar 31, 2023 18:55
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3787621&pagenumber=641&perpage=40&userid=0#post530850762
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Apr 1, 2023 13:09
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in the secret language of cats all girl cats are named bethany or vanessa or valery |
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Apr 1, 2023 17:46
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Late 30-something couple standing outside their suburban house: "after living in the city for so long, we really felt we needed to move out to a quieter neighborhood to..." (the rest is lost as the deafening roar of a gas powered leaf blower starts up) |
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Apr 1, 2023 20:46
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Finger Prince posted:Late 30-something couple standing outside their suburban house: "after living in the city for so long, we really felt we needed to move out to a quieter neighborhood to..." (the rest is lost as the deafening roar of a gas powered leaf blower starts up) |
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Apr 1, 2023 21:31
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Finger Prince posted:Late 30-something couple standing outside their suburban house: "after living in the city for so long, we really felt we needed to move out to a quieter neighborhood to..." (the rest is lost as the deafening roar of a gas powered leaf blower starts up) "...blow leaves in." |
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Apr 2, 2023 08:10
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| # ? May 24, 2024 17:34 |
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Remember the Elderfart? The oldest fart ever to exist. Well the sequel should be a time travel flick entitled "A Fart in Time" but the third film in the trilogy is "Gas to the Future". |
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Apr 2, 2023 08:25
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