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Alkydere posted:Any time bonuses get hosed up like that I assume it's semi-intentional. Like the original fuckup was an accident, but management sees screwing out all of their salespeople out of their bonus as a good way to recoup the lost money. There’s a high likelihood a spreadsheet exists that nets the cost of product promotions against reduced payroll bonus expense. Especially since 10% make doubles the payout.
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Apr 3, 2023 20:01
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"I promise I will give you a reward if you maintain an unbroken streak of perfect performance." "Ah gee you tripped up the end there, oh well, you get nothing. Thanks for the 99 days of giving it your all though." I hope your entire department learned that you can be much, much lazier at your jobs going forward.
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Apr 3, 2023 20:52
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My job is pulling similar poo poo. Start of last quarter, it went from “keep as much on the shelf as possible” to “don’t have shrink but still comp sales.” These tend to be mutually exclusive when half the building is perishable stuff.
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Apr 3, 2023 22:22
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Doomykins posted:"I promise I will give you a reward if you maintain an unbroken streak of perfect performance." Two things. I remember when I worked in the copy center, my manager was out of town for a week, and we had this huge order come in. My coworkers and I busted our butts to get it done, and made $6,000 on the order. When my boss came back, I was very proud and showed him the paperwork, and I will never forget that kind of smile he made while he gave it back to me and said, well that's good, I made twice that much on an order. About that time I realized that it didn't matter if we had completed the order or not, if the order was 6 grand or 10 grand or 20 grand, the manager didn't care. When I worked at the zoo, I had tried for about 2 years to become a full-time zookeeper; I was part-time working in our tiny aquarium, but wanted that full-time spot. Finally One open for me, and I was told that even though I had worked for the zoo for almost 3 years, I would still have a probationary period of a month while I worked in this building. That seemed a little sketchy to me, but the rest was what did it in; I would have to quit my other job that had benefits, right then, I could not give them two weeks notice. I would start the following day, and I would be in charge of the building, any volunteers that were there, and my training would consist of following the current keeper for a day or so. The nail in the coffin was that no one would tell me, during this probationary period, if I made any mistakes or errors unless was something really obviously leaving a cage open, and at the end of the 30 days I would receive my review and learn if I could keep the job or not. I did not take them up on their generous offer. My manager at the time was shocked because in his own words, he thought I really really wanted to be a zookeeper, and this might be my only chance to become full-time. When I listed the issues I had with the above, he said that was common for everyone to go through that kind of period, and maybe I just wasn't ready for the responsibility. Sometimes you grow a tiny nodocord of a spine.
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Apr 3, 2023 23:23
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Hahahahahaha, that parting dig. "Not ready for the responsibility." The responsibility of being left high and dry and unable to pay bills if they aren't feeling it!
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Apr 4, 2023 00:05
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Doomykins posted:Hahahahahaha, that parting dig. "Not ready for the responsibility." The responsibility of being left high and dry and unable to pay bills if they aren't feeling it! That stuff is very specifically for the purpose of establishing, right at the beginning, that they own you and you are acknowledging their ownership of you.
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Apr 4, 2023 00:17
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Eric the Mauve posted:That stuff is very specifically for the purpose of establishing, right at the beginning, that they own you and you are acknowledging their ownership of you. Oh, I forgot to add that the owner of the zoo had wanted me in the gift shop full time for some time then, citing that I had never stolen and was one of the few people he could trust to run a cash register; he wanted me to work there but for some reason didn't fire me from the aquarium, possibly because he knew I'd just leave. I wonder what would have happened had I taken the zookeeper spot at the end of the thirty days. I wonder. Hmmm. Narration: I would have been told I messed up something at one point in the past month but they couldn't tell me what so I could not have the job and since I had already trained my replacement in the aquarium, I wonder what position they would have had open for me.
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Apr 4, 2023 01:13
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Man that is some "How the hell did you figure out my evil plans to screw you over?" shock. "You put on a circus leader's outfit and had the band coming out playing March of the Gladiators with circus performers holding up flashing neon signs exactly how you'd screw me over." Glad you dodged that bullet, Cowslips.
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Apr 4, 2023 11:38
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Alkydere posted:Man that is some "How the hell did you figure out my evil plans to screw you over?" shock. It was the only one that mattered. I had some fun at the zoo but man I ate a lot of loving poo poo that didn't come from animals. I remember one time there was a part-time keeper spot open, and I tried so hard to get it, because with what I already had, that would make me fulltime. if I had gotten it, I might still be there because the brainworms were so strong. Not from the animals. Instead the vet tech, part time, got it. So she worked 50 hours a week or so. Last I heard she ended up joining the military once the novelty of minimum wage and maximum animal damage wore off, and was shocked the recruitment officer lied to her about going to Hawaii when she was put in Montana and the Midwest.
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Apr 4, 2023 14:56
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You know the one thing that is consistent in the like 8 different jobs I've held in my life that I absolutely loving hate? When the boss decides something that is over a decade old needs to look good as new and all that is needed to do that is some elbow grease. It isn't that the item is old and the paint has faded over time, no you just aren't cleaning it hard enough. Boss, I don't think bleach or a pumice stone will turn the sinks from gray to white. That gray isn't dirt build up, its the color of the porcelain itself that is under the paint. No amount of scrubbing this will make it turn white.
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Apr 4, 2023 15:29
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He knows that. It's just busy work.
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Apr 4, 2023 15:44
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Leal posted:You know the one thing that is consistent in the like 8 different jobs I've held in my life that I absolutely loving hate? Every manager of a certain level has convinced themselves they got where they did purely through willpower, pluck and personal skill, and thus anyone else can accomplish anything else through the same. They do not need things like "staffing," "resources" or "funding." They just need more Willpower, Pluck and Skill.
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Apr 4, 2023 17:59
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Leal posted:You know the one thing that is consistent in the like 8 different jobs I've held in my life that I absolutely loving hate? One of my managers tried this one me once. I work in a warehouse. This is how the conversation went when he came back and it wasn't done to his satisfaction. Me: "Gee, I must have not done it right then. Since you seem to know it can be done, would you mind showing me how?" Him: "Oh I don't have time, I have a bunch of work I need to get done back in my office." Me: "Can't be that much if you somehow found time to come out here and bitch, huh?" Him: "I have a lot of work to do." *starts walking away* Me: "Alright, I'll leave it just like this so you can come show us how to do it right later." Apparently that earned me a reputation as someone willing to say poo poo I shouldn't to my managers, and means generally I get left alone. And they don't want to fire me, because I'm one of the best at my job the company has and all of my supervisors like me. JackSplater fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Apr 4, 2023 |
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Apr 4, 2023 18:18
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Speaking of busy work, we closed down our same day delivery service which means that several drivers got let go from my city, and now we are just doing local pickup and delivery. In other words going from 30 deliveries a day to whatever the stores need to get done which is nowhere near that amount of volume. As of now we have 14 drivers, and usually this time say a few months ago, I would have done about 20 deliveries today, and so far I've done three. So our boss sent out a mass email reminding us he will be talking to us individually if we are sitting down doing nothing, then at our down time we need to be cleaning our vans, stocking our vans, getting any maintenance done, and if all that is complete and all of our training is done, we need to go inside our stores and offer to help. The only problem is none of us have been trained on the new systems, none of us can run a register, and all of us peeking in to ask the manager if we can help do cleaning like of the bathroom or general store stuff, that's not going to go over well with any busy manager. Oh and my store is going through a remodel. the stores are overall slow, which means that we are slow, which means that we can't just make busy work appear out of the air because the people inside the stores are already doing it.
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Apr 4, 2023 21:34
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Love to get a storewide message on the walkie-talkies that if there's an emergency of any kind, to immediately page all managers to wherever it is. Gee, I wonder what happened at another store to cause this.
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Apr 5, 2023 02:32
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dovetaile posted:Love to get a storewide message on the walkie-talkies that if there's an emergency of any kind, to immediately page all managers to wherever it is. Gee, I wonder what happened at another store to cause this. We had someone call out an "assault!"-code the other day, and every manager ran to the drive-in section of the store, while the rest of us wondered how serious it was. When they came back like half an hour later, they told us that some customer had gotten extremely verbally abusive due to some late charges(he'd rented a truck and been like a full loving day late returning it or something), and the employee trying to sort things out thought he was about to get jumped, so he called the managers in with the "assault"-code over our headsets. But no one got assaulted except the customer's pride, because he spent like half an hour just vomiting out what he considered to be the vilest threats and sickest burns at an assembled group of five managers and after about two minutes they started cracking up and just laughed in his face because it was comical insanity. Particular quotes were "HOW DARE YOU DO THIS, I'M A BALLET DANCER" and "I HOPE YOU ALL poo poo YOURSELVES TO DEATH."
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Apr 5, 2023 02:41
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PurpleXVI posted:"I'M A BALLET DANCER! I HOPE YOU ALL poo poo YOURSELVES TO DEATH!" New thread title?
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Apr 5, 2023 03:42
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therobit posted:New thread title? Seconded.
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Apr 5, 2023 04:32
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therobit posted:New thread title? Thirded!
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Apr 5, 2023 04:38
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dipping our toes into the title change, as it were. the full version is a tad long. but I laughed
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Apr 5, 2023 15:01
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drat it. what's the character limit?
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Apr 5, 2023 17:20
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JackSplater posted:One of my managers tried this one me once. I work in a warehouse. This is how the conversation went when he came back and it wasn't done to his satisfaction. I’ve pulled this at pretty much every job I’ve ever had, works every time.
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Apr 5, 2023 17:48
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Rainbow Knight posted:drat it. what's the character limit? oooh wait, I got it
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Apr 5, 2023 17:52
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Got drug tested last night. Since they finally got the most outwardly boring, white bread white guy that ever whited after nearly 5 and a half years I can say the drug tests truly are random-ish at Amazon. As compared to my old Hispanic assistant manager who got drug tested an average of 1.1x times a year. On the other side: leave it to Amazon to actually create/use a spit-swab test that's relatively fast, easy, and gives immediate results. Even if I did have to spend like 20 minutes trying to fill the spit sponge.
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Apr 5, 2023 19:45
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When I worked as a driver at Amazon I didn't catch the email when I got hired to go get a drug test. After training I realized the mistake and told my dispatcher and asked if I should run over that day and get it done. He told me not to worry about it and just don't tell anyone. Ironically, that was after the one month in years I hadn't smoked since I was too broke to buy weed. The funny thing is that the dispensary I work at now required a full background check and a mandatory drug test before they would extend a job offer. They just didn't require you to be clean for THC. Gwely Mernans fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Apr 5, 2023 |
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Apr 5, 2023 20:10
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Yeah, Amazon doesn't check for THC/weed anymore. They realized that a) they'd run out of workers even faster if they did and b) it would just be an expensive legal headache considering the patchwork legalization. Honestly I was mainly amused/impressed with how the whole kit came with the tablet in a stand that had a slot for the drug test thing that placed it perfectly so the camera could record the QR code and results. After years of fighting with trying to get Amazon kindle cameras to read barcodes I was rather amused by and delighted by "Insert thing here and it will be in perfect position for the camera to read."
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Apr 5, 2023 20:20
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Gwely Mernans posted:Feeling a little annoyed at my company right now. This is both hosed up, and also are you saying you have a base commission payout of $75 ? Not being mean to you, but that’s basically not commission, that’s way too low.
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Apr 5, 2023 20:33
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Duckman2008 posted:This is both hosed up, and also are you saying you have a base commission payout of $75 ? Not being mean to you, but that’s basically not commission, that’s way too low. Not to handwave it, but I do make a decent amount in tips. Anywhere from $350-$400 for a 38 hour week. I'm making the same amount as I was as a store manager at a small store and I'm working 20 hours less a week, plus I have full insurance and actual PTO. Also I looked at the posted bonus plan the other day and it's actually $75 for 90-99%, $150 for 100-109% and $300 for 110%+ of monthly goal. I'm more miffed about the added metric that screwed us.
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Apr 5, 2023 20:44
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Coasterphreak posted:I’ve pulled this at pretty much every job I’ve ever had, works every time. I've been remembering more and more about that manager, who was single-handedly responsible for morale dropping to almost nothing. - Was the reason I checked out almost entirely and why I encourage people not to work too hard (he pulled the standard "here's more responsibility, no you don't get any compensation for it, we don't do that here") - Tried to lecture me for moving a crated lawn mower with long forks because the crate said "no forks" on it (I pointed at the sticker showing the right equipment to use that was on the crate and asked him to show me where it was so I could use it, he walked away muttering because of course we didn't have it) - Put me in charge of doing a specific high-value customer once a week, replacing a guy that quit. Didn't replace the position I'd been doing helping said guy, so of course it slowed down, I have one less person working the job than previous guy did. Asked me what I needed to get back up to his speed, I said another guy helping, he spent three months not even pretending to try to get me a helper. He came in one morning to, and I quote, "stick around and help out and make sure the process is being followed because it shouldn't be this slow". Okay, sure, whatever, I'm still in charge of running this and you're not gonna stop that, you can do the job I'd been doing before you put me in charge. Suddenly me and the other guy working on it have 30% less work to do because, y'know, the position I needed filled was filled, and everything went perfectly. Two weeks later I was taken off the contract with zero advance warning (it was sunday mornings, I worked thurs-sun, the decision was made at 2 PM on friday and no one told me until I walked in sunday morning.) - Refused to replace any broken lights in the warehouse because he was "looking into replacing them all since the fixtures were old." By the time he got moved to a different position we had a fifty foot stretch of warehouse with no overhead lights. - Told the warehouse workers if we wanted a raise, we needed to re-measure more freight. Since this makes the company money on a fairly easy formula of 1 cubic foot being 10 pounds. Warehouse workers get a small commission on any valid remeasures. Warehouse raised its numbers to something like 95% re-measured for a couple of months, and when asked about the raise he said the commission was the raise. Numbers mysteriously dropped below previous within a week. - Didn't know a drat thing about how the scanners worked, but thought he did. Outright told a worker to do something that didn't work. Walked away when he saw me walking over to correct him (I did show the guy the proper way to do the thing.) - Told a customer their freight was ready to be picked up when it was on a trailer that had just barely entered city limits. Customer was understanding when they showed up five minutes later. Manager tried to get someone to crawl up in the trailer to manually pull out this single package. When asked what the package was, he had no idea because he hadn't even bothered to look at the paperwork. It was a 2,000 pound crate. Dude was a customer service rep in charge of the warehouse, and was very firmly of the mindset that if it cost money, it couldn't be done. Had no issues promising the world to anyone who could directly get hold of him and if it wasn't done then clearly it was someone else's fault. Luckily the warehouse supervisors were entirely on the workers' side and knew the manager was full of poo poo.
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Apr 6, 2023 00:03
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quote:- Told the warehouse workers if we wanted a raise, we needed to re-measure more freight. Since this makes the company money on a fairly easy formula of 1 cubic foot being 10 pounds. Warehouse workers get a small commission on any valid remeasures. Warehouse raised its numbers to something like 95% re-measured for a couple of months, and when asked about the raise he said the commission was the raise. Numbers mysteriously dropped below previous within a week. What does measuring freight mean here? Putting more things into a space?
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Apr 6, 2023 02:47
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Volmarias posted:What does measuring freight mean here? Putting more things into a space? Taking the dimensions of a piece of freight. Length, Width, Height. So if you had a box that was, say, 24"x24"x12", that would be 4 cubic feet, and thus is expected to be 40 pounds. If it weighs less than that, then the updated dimensions prompt the company to charge the customer more for it. Enough more that the company is willing to pay (not a lot, but more than I'd have guessed when they first brought it in) the warehouse workers a commission for "good" ones.
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Apr 6, 2023 03:09
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Gwely Mernans posted:Not to handwave it, but I do make a decent amount in tips. Anywhere from $350-$400 for a 38 hour week. I'm making the same amount as I was as a store manager at a small store and I'm working 20 hours less a week, plus I have full insurance and actual PTO. Ok, the tips make it much better. In general, if any commission is less than $500 a month base (full time), then it’s just laughable in terms of “why even bother?” But $400 a week in tips more than makes up for it. At least they make it easy for you to spike up to $300 (when not getting hosed by the extra metric).
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Apr 6, 2023 14:18
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JackSplater posted:Luckily the warehouse supervisors were entirely on the workers' side
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Apr 7, 2023 02:12
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Malachite_Dragon posted:If this is true why didn't they get rid of his rear end sooner? Supervisors are above worker, but below manager. The supers are the ones who hand out the work to the workers, who actually do it. The manager is supposed to oversee it all and handle interactions between the office and the warehouse.
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Apr 7, 2023 05:10
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Ah, I see. My job (for some reason) uses the term 'supervisor' and 'manager' interchangeably, hence my confusion. Apologies!
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Apr 7, 2023 05:35
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Ah, I see. My job (for some reason) uses the term 'supervisor' and 'manager' interchangeably, hence my confusion. Apologies! A lot of places use them interchangeably, but in general a "supervisor" has line workers as direct reports and a "manager" has supervisors or other managers as direct reports.
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Apr 7, 2023 05:50
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I'm a supervisor. But I work alone so I supervise a team of no one 
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Apr 7, 2023 05:53
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Oh, and they didn't even get rid of him. He currently manages an entirely new division created for one specific customer's contract, which he was instrumental in getting in the first place. Not like it makes us much money given the sheer amount of concessions that he made for them, and he can't keep workers for longer than a couple of months in any position, but it's still a net gain on funds on paper so we've kept it. At least I don't have to deal with the fucker anymore.
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Apr 7, 2023 15:25
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JackSplater posted:Oh, and they didn't even get rid of him. He currently manages an entirely new division created for one specific customer's contract, which he was instrumental in getting in the first place. Not like it makes us much money given the sheer amount of concessions that he made for them, and he can't keep workers for longer than a couple of months in any position, but it's still a net gain on funds on paper so we've kept it. At least I don't have to deal with the fucker anymore. Hell of a play from the manager there. Concrete top line funds let’s him argue against any profit assumptions on stuff like “lost productivity cost” from the spreadsheet jockeys. He might not be competent, but he’ll be comfortable.
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Apr 7, 2023 18:16
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https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/473202020275453962/1094976679472017508/20230410_062148.mp4
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Apr 10, 2023 15:01
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