r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Aramoro posted:

Yeah you get a third off your sentence if you plead guilty straight away, so at your first court appearance. It's still bullshit and shouldn't be in there but it's not as egregious as plea deals. That 1/3 can be substituted for other things like community service rather than in prison etc.

In America, what you are describing is a plea deal/plea bargain. Does the phrase mean something different in England?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:01

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:25

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It's amazing how stupid a lot of parents think their kids are. They don't have goldfish memories. If anything, they remember things far more vividly than many adults do.

Counterpoint: it is an unreasonable thing to ask or promise. There should definitely be some family and individual counseling going on.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:03

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

Just gong to add the reason legal aid if not available is because since the gutting of our legal aid system it's really not available for motoring offences as there's a very low chance of going to jail. There's a absolutely tiny chance this guy goes to jail even if he does defend himself. It's 50/50 he loses his licence to be honest.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:03

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for not telling my girlfriend her food had shrimp in it?

quote:

My (23M) girlfriend (19F) is a picky eater. She doesn't like fish or pork. On Saturday we went out to eat in Chinatown with my friend and his girlfriend.

For an appetizer we ordered spring rolls. My gf asked if they had shrimp in them and we said no. This was a lie but she wouldn't know the difference when she ate them.

When the spring rolls came out, the three of us smiled at each other and watched my gf happily eat them. I couldn't believe she had no idea there was shrimp in the spring rolls. It was minced but still. Anyway it was pretty funny. At the end of the meal we told her the spring rolls had shrimp in them. She got upset at me and now I am the bad guy even though my friend was in on it too. She is saying that's not cool to mislead her like that and trick her into eating something she doesn't want to eat. But she makes no sense- she ATE the spring rolls so obviously she likes shrimp.

AITA or is she being too sensitive and needs to grow up?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:07

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for not telling my girlfriend her food had shrimp in it?

I am surprised that story didn�t end with someone going into anaphylaxis

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:08

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

I don't think you're actually allowed to represent yourself in court in the Scotland/England for a criminal case, you would have a court appointed Barrister/Advocate or a Solicitor Advocate.

edit: actually you can represent yourself, it's a really bad idea.

keep punching joe fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Apr 11, 2023

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:10

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Invisible Clergy posted:

In America, what you are describing is a plea deal/plea bargain. Does the phrase mean something different in England?

I think it must because as an American what you posted is funny as hell. �Plea deals are bullshit, but this other thing identical to a plea deal is not�

Maybe there�s more room in the US when you do stuff like plea to lesser charges or something? A plea deal is just any deal you make with prosecutors here though

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:10

G-Mawwwwwww: Jan 31, 2003; My LPth are Hot Garbage; Biscuit Hider

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

They are and one of the few instances where reappraisal is proper is when there's a significant life event, such as remarriage or cohabitation with a new family. The "whims" of a 12 year old are given moderate to significant weight depending on the basis and the judge. "I want to live with my dad because my mom makes me do my homework" isn't going to fly but I want to live with my dad because being forced into a blended family is something that causes me great anxiety" is another.

She's selfish because she made a promise to her kid that was existentially important to said kid and is now aggrieved at the consequences. By her own admission mom dated and that was fine. The line that she and her daughter agreed to draw was a blended family.

Your honor, this is all a simple misunderstanding. My daughter somehow mistook my promise for something other than bullshit intended to shut her up.

Realistically reappraisal is proper if the parents can no longer coparent effectively or if the child is having emotional issues. Having mom have no overnights because of a 12 year old getting mad she remarried?

I'm more concerned that Dad is reinforcing this behavior.

Kid needs therapy.

Expecting a parent to never remarry is ridiculous. Second marriages happen so much faster than the first because it's that much harder to make it on a single income with no help. Especially with a kid.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 18:59

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

keep punching joe posted:

I don't think you're actually allowed to represent yourself in court in the Scotland/England for a criminal case, you would have a court appointed Barrister/Advocate or a Solicitor Advocate.

edit: actually you can represent yourself, it's a really bad idea.

Do they still make you wear a big black cape, a funny tie, and some sort of powdered wig when you represent yourself?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:13

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

people are glossing over the comments in the post about how the dads behavior led to the divorce, the daughter is exposed to a string of girlfriends, and he leaves her (at 12) alone too often

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:14

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Nocheez posted:

Do they still make you wear a big black cape, a funny tie, and some sort of powdered wig when you represent yourself?

Nope. The wigs are for the big Dawgs only.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:25

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Agents are GO! posted:

Counterpoint: it is an unreasonable thing to ask or promise. There should definitely be some family and individual counseling going on.

Then as an adult, she shouldn't have promised that and just assumed her kid would forget it like a goldfish. It's not okay to just make a promise and then later go "well it wasn't reasonable to ask for this promise, it's all on you!" That just made it worse.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:29

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

DeeplyConcerned posted:

Nope. The wigs are for the big Dawgs only.

I wish we'd combine all the magic roleplay.

Japanese lapel pins, British outfits, maybe some sort of law stick or magic rock.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:32

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Upgrade posted:

people are glossing over the comments in the post about how the dads behavior led to the divorce, the daughter is exposed to a string of girlfriends, and he leaves her (at 12) alone too often

Where does it say it was the dad's behaviour that led to divorce? OP is an admitted liar so I take the girlfriends and leaving her alone too often comments with a grain of salt.

OP does not give a poo poo about her kid. If she did, she would never have made that promise, and would have gotten her into therapy. She didn't even bother talking to her about it at all. Her daughter didn't even care about her parents dating, she just doesn't want the nightmare and instability that is almost inevitable in blended family situations.

Don't have children if you're going to treat them like dolls that have no feeling or agency.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:45

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

I wish we'd combine all the magic roleplay.

Japanese lapel pins, British outfits, maybe some sort of law stick or magic rock.

Isn�t that just Ace Attorney?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:50

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

A strong spine, and good older bro looking out for a younger sibiling

AITA for calling my mom a "worthless piece of s**t" and telling my parents to go F themselves.

quote:

As the title says, I (28M) recently got into a very heated argument with my parents (50s) and said these things to them, after which several relatives have either called or texted me saying I've gone to far and that I should apologize. My grandmother, who I love very much, says she is heartbroken I would say such things. Almost everyone I know seems to believe I've gone overboard and should apologize, but I feel hesitant considering their behaviour. I don't want to lose touch with the rest of my family, and I don't actually want to hurt anybody, but I felt hurt too and didn't measure my response.

I've never gotten along too well with my parents. I've always kind of been the black sheep of the family, I would get bad grades or miss my curfew and, I left the church and I got into a lot of arguments with them. I moved out when I was 20 after an argument about my university studies, I haven't looked back and have only really kept in touch to keep tabs on my younger sibling (18).

Now, I have known for a few years that my younger sibling was queer, she came out to me as a lesbian, which they told nobody else in the family for fear of what they might think. However, more recently they came out as NB and wanted to change their name and go by different pronouns, and wanted to ask the school and teacher to follow suit. Mind you, we moved from a other country and got held back in school, so even though my sibling is still in secondary they're already 18, and an adult. She can legally ask for these things, but our parents are still informed or asked about academic matters.

So my parents found out and lost their minds. They've accused my sibling of being sick and insane, if being a pervert and a thousand other things that are too painful to write. I had promised I would be supportive so when they asked to move in with me I obliged.

Ever since then my parents have been bombarding me via text, phone, email and even showing up at school, at my house and my job to harass us.

I've asked my parents a thousand times to leave us alone but they won't budge. Last night they showed up at my house unannounced and my mother said they were here to pick up my sibling and "take her away from my corrupting influence". I told her to take her words back before she said anything she would regret. I stead she accused me of trying to abduct "their last remaining child into a perverted sex cult" and that I was turning my sibling into some kind of mutant.

This is when I blew up and said those things to my parents. I was yelling at the top of my lungs and I'm sure I probably said a few more things but I was so angry I can't really remember. My entire extended family seems to agree that I was too disrespectful, and that I should've tried to solve our disagreement in a more civil way. My mother has been texting me since then, says she's been crying all night and she's never felt so hurt and my father says we're both dead to him.

AITA?

If we are dead to you, does that mean you'll leave us the gently caress alone?

"I was too disrespectful, and that I should've tried to solve our disagreement in a more civil way" - yeah, OP, why can't you be more civil with the people showing up unannounced at your workplace and home?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:50

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Evil Willow posted:

[CA] Girl lies to owner of local hobby store and now I'm banned?

... Over the years I have been playing there, I got a crush on one of the employees, A. She has a boyfriend, R, but I felt like I had to say something or I'd regret it, so I did.

I'd love it if one of the original commentors had pursued him on this point: why did you feel that you had to say something? What did you think was going to happen here?

Tragically, the foundational delusions of most r/r posts are rarely challenged.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:56

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

FMguru posted:

A strong spine, and good older bro looking out for a younger sibiling

AITA for calling my mom a "worthless piece of s**t" and telling my parents to go F themselves.

If we are dead to you, does that mean you'll leave us the gently caress alone?

"I was too disrespectful, and that I should've tried to solve our disagreement in a more civil way" - yeah, OP, why can't you be more civil with the people showing up unannounced at your workplace and home?

i don't usually advocate calling the police on anyone, because there's a non-zero chance that they'll be shot and killed, but in this case i'll make an exception, because there's a non-zero chance that they'll be shot and killed

# ? Apr 11, 2023 19:58

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Midnight Voyager posted:

Then as an adult, she shouldn't have promised that and just assumed her kid would forget it like a goldfish. It's not okay to just make a promise and then later go "well it wasn't reasonable to ask for this promise, it's all on you!" That just made it worse.

I'm reminded of the story where a woman got frothing mad at her adult nephew for "forcing his father to live the life of a widow and never find happiness" because of a promise his dad made when he was a kid.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:00

Evilreaver: Feb 26, 2007; GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!; Dinosaur Gum

nonathlon posted:

I'd love it if one of the original commentors had pursued him on this point: why did you feel that you had to say something? What did you think was going to happen here?

Tragically, the foundational delusions of most r/r posts are rarely challenged.

He had to say something *or else she wouldn't know he was interested*, simple.

As they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take! He didn't want to live with the regret of not trying!

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:05

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Foo Diddley posted:

i don't usually advocate calling the police on anyone, because there's a non-zero chance that they'll be shot and killed, but in this case i'll make an exception, because there's a non-zero chance that they'll be shot and killed

Yeah except its probably worse than 50/50 the kids get shot.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:06

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

How important is this promise to the issue at hand, that the girl doesn't want a blended family now? That at twelve she is against it seems more important than that she was promise it wouldn't happen at nine.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

nonathlon posted:

I'd love it if one of the original commentors had pursued him on this point: why did you feel that you had to say something? What did you think was going to happen here?

Tragically, the foundational delusions of most r/r posts are rarely challenged.

That one's on legaladvice, replies have to focus on legal aspects there. His earlier r/r post is deleted, but there's a ton of posts calling him out for being even more creepily delusional than he comes across here.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:12

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

DandyLion posted:

Yeah except its probably worse than 50/50 the kids get shot.

yeah, true, i guess the cops are completely useless

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:12

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for telling my friend's girlfriend he wasted his money on drugs?

quote:

I have a friend who is financially hopeless. He never pays money back on time and if he does he acts like he's the one doing the favour.

Anyway a little while back he told me that he needed to borrow $100 to buy his girlfriend a birthday present. When I told him that he's had a whole year to save he said that he got drunk and "accidentally" bought drugs with the money.

I told him I'd lend him the money but if I didn't have it back the following week I'd tell his girlfriend why he had to borrow the money. He told me he "doesn't accept the terms but will borrow the money."

Anyway he didn't pay me back, I told him that I was going to tell her and he begged me not to, saying that he didn't accept the terms even though he still borrowed the money. I gave him a couple more days to come up with the money but he didn't.

I told her why he owed me money and now she's not talking to him and he is blaming me for ruining his relationship. AITA here? I think he shouldn't have bought the drugs in the first place but he thinks I've betrayed him.

idk what's funnier, homeboy "accidentally" buying drugs or him trying to sovcit his way out of the consequences of not paying OP back

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:15

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for liquidating my daughter's college fund to keep our dream house?

quote:

I (50F) lost my husband 4 years ago. I also have a 16yo daughter.

My late husband left me everything and told me to trust his lawyer. My husband had worked for 20 years as a doctor and did some minor investing so I inherited over 7 figures.

A year later, I decided to list our home of 12 years and received an offer too good to refuse. With the inheritance as well as the influx of cash from selling the house, I decided to move my daughter and I to Malibu because we always dreamed of a home next to the beach but my husband was exceptionally tight fisted and called homes there money pits.

We found a beautiful home by the sea. I never personally handled anything regarding buying a home before so I did not anticipate all the extra costs beyond the sticker price.

But my daughter was so excited so I decided to go for it. My late husband's lawyer was furious at my decision so I decided stopped taking his calls. I ended up signing with a money manager who said that we'd be passively earning 90 percent of what surgeons earned per year.

But the money manager ended up tanking a lot of our investments. I took the dwindling money out and made my own investments which made it worse and long story short, because of all that I only have around $35k available to me now., not to mention our debts.

With the amount available to me, I am looking at only being able to pay 1 month of a mortgage/ upkeep and then I'm basically out of luck until my business gets clients. However, the place where we do have a significant amount of money is the fund my husband started for our daughter. With the money there, I could prevent our credit cards from being shut down, and not have to worry about the mortgage for many more months.

So I ended up liquidating my daughter's college fund. I told her about it today and she was furious and said she cannot believe all her dad's work is gone. Shea slo said she won't be supporting me for retirement. AITA for trying to fix my mistakes and trying to keep our house?

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:24

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Relationships are temporary, dream homes are eternal.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:30

Artificer: Apr 8, 2010; You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!

My god
What a cunning mind

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:32

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

Kurieg posted:

AITA for liquidating my daughter's college fund to keep our dream house?

Just casually torpedoing several million dollars in a year.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:33

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Kurieg posted:

AITA for liquidating my daughter's college fund to keep our dream house?

Ugh as soon as I saw the words dream house it was almost automatically YTA.

Barbie has a dream house. That's about the only person who can afford one.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:34

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Cowslips Warren posted:

Ugh as soon as I saw the words dream house it was almost automatically YTA.

There are some AITAs where the title gets you to incline one way, and then reading the text makes you go the exact opposite direction.

This wasn't one of those.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:37

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

Kurieg posted:

AITA for liquidating my daughter's college fund to keep our dream house?

"I didn't know anything about buying a home, but I know money doesn't run out."

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:44

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Saddest thing is if they inherited 7 figures they could have possibly been making like several hundred thousand a year passively, but this involves stuff like having the discipline to not touch the principal, being able to mentally weather market fluctuations and doing your due diligence on where you invest, all things that I'm assuming are a bit beyond dream home woman

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:45

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

I've read way too many stories these last few days about people getting a poo poo ton of money and then immediately wasting all of it, and it's definitely doing some psychic damage to me

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:46

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Kit Walker posted:

I've read way too many stories these last few days about people getting a poo poo ton of money and then immediately wasting all of it, and it's definitely doing some psychic damage to me

yes but consider that we both can rest in smug confidence knowing that we have little money and therefore have only mismanaged far less than a fortune

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:51

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

DandyLion posted:

yes but consider that we both can rest in smug confidence knowing that we have little money and therefore have only mismanaged far less than a fortune

I'll happily mismanage a fortune if someone wants to throw a cool mil my way

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:55

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

it's especially funny 'cuz OP's going to lose her house anyway once she pisses away her kid's college fund:

quote:

With the money there, I could prevent our credit cards from being shut down, and not have to worry about the mortgage for many more months.

i'm sure staying on top of the bills for a few months longer is worth throwing away your relationship with your only child

# ? Apr 11, 2023 20:58

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Cowslips Warren posted:

Barbie has a dream house. That's about the only person who can afford one.

Some of them are super expensive, like thousands of dollars, but I saw a couple on ebay that were like 40 or 60 bucks.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 21:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Foo Diddley posted:

it's especially funny 'cuz OP's going to lose her house anyway once she pisses away her kid's college fund:

i'm sure staying on top of the bills for a few months longer is worth throwing away your relationship with your only child

It's only until her new business takes off!

I'm sure someone with her demonstrated business and financial savvy will be rolling in billable hours and client commissions Real Soon Now.

# ? Apr 11, 2023 21:04

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:25

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for not letting my brother use my bank account

quote:

So apparently I was told by him that his account was closed down due to �fraud�. He mentioned something about him not proving his identity properly which caused this. He now asked me if he could use my bank for a period of time so his wages could go somewhere whilst his bank problem is sorted. I said no. He doesn�t live with me or the family as he had been kicked out a while ago due to substance use issues. I don�t know how long this �period of time� will actually be. I don�t like the idea of my finances being mixed in with other peoples. I have helped him plenty of times in the past with issues similar to this, sometimes I�d let these �favours� go on for longer than I expected, which has now put me in a place where I am tired of helping him out. I asked him, why couldn�t his friends help him out? He said because it would mess up their finances. After I said no to this favour, he proceeded to basically say no one helps him with anything. Am I in the wrong? I�m in my early 20s and he�s nearly 30, why should I have to be dealing with this sort of stuff? He has issues with the majority of our family and doesn�t contact them, but contacts me. I try my best to help him with things but this is simply something I don�t want to be involved in.

edit: I�d like to mention too when I say i�ve helped him with things similar to this, I generally mean tech issues, helping him with emails, helping him with overpayments he�s made by accident etc.

edit2: he now is mad at me for not saying yes and has basically blocked me / insulted me over text . lmao , still reading the replies appreciate yall

edit3: wanted to mention also I would�ve never let him have direct access to my account, I was suggested to keep hold of the money OR withdraw the money for him every week in person.

it must be "good with money" day on AITA

# ? Apr 11, 2023 21:05

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