The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - another Nintendo troll for completionists

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - another Nintendo troll for completionists

«‹›490 »

(Thread IKs: MokBa)

Tayter Swift: Nov 18, 2002; Pillbug

you know zelda isn't an actual woman right

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 07:57

kidcoelacanth: Sep 23, 2009

Tayter Swift posted:

you know zelda isn't an actual woman right

no... NO....

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:04

Augus: Mar 9, 2015

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

ive moved from an apartment to a house and am on my fourth cohabitation situation since botw came out.
my original roommate said he�d stay for at least a year and then moved out with his girlfriend after four months and now we don�t talk anymore at all when we used to be best friends.
the second guy asked if he could get a dog, I said sure, just get something that won�t gently caress up my brand new carpet and will be good around my cats. then he proceeded to adopt an abused pit bull from an Indian reservation, loudly walked it at 6 am waking me up every morning without fail and refusing to alter his routine after I asked politely. the dog did not work out with my cats and he moved away after four months. we were also good friends and don�t talk anymore.

at that point my girlfriend moved in. we�d been together for three years at that point. after a year we were both extremely unhappy. she moved back into her parents house at the urging of a psychic. I don�t talk to her anymore either except to drunkenly text her to tell her she looks exactly like the girl from phantom of the opera.

now another woman has moved in, I thought the plan was to be in a relationship but apparently now that her room is set up and I�ve lovingly lowballed rent she wants to wait to be with me and go to therapy first. I�m sure that will go great.

I�m not really in the mood for another Zelda.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:06

ThisIsACoolGuy: Nov 2, 2010; Shaped like a friend

The final trailer is the third cutscene

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:08

mastajake: Oct 3, 2005; My blade is unBENDING!

Tayter Swift posted:

you know zelda isn't an actual woman right

Teats of the Kingdom

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:12

Albatrossy_Rodent: Oct 6, 2021; Obliteratin' everything,
incineratin' and renegade 'em
I'm here to make anybody who
want it with the pen afraid
But don't nobody want it but
they're gonna get it anyway!

What's this about this lady moving in with the plan to be in a relationship? That seems like an unusual situation.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:13

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Albatrossy_Rodent posted:

What's this about this lady moving in with the plan to be in a relationship? That seems like an unusual situation.

seems like a bad idea imo

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:25

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Yeah if this is like a copypasta or some kind of clever joke I don't understand, please let me know in the feedback thread, because otherwise, what the gently caress

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:29

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

ThisIsACoolGuy posted:

The final trailer is the third cutscene

Man, why would I even pay for the game after tomorrow. Nintendo shooting themselves in the foot yet again

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:29

Unlucky7: Jul 11, 2006; Fallen Rib

My uncle from nintendo said the trailer was actually an entire playthrough. The game is actually 3 minutes long.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:31

kidcoelacanth: Sep 23, 2009

found a mysterious leaf stamp in the gerudo highlands. lo and behold,

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:37

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

It�s okay TotK, I only take three minutes too

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:38

glassyalabolas: Oct 21, 2006; I want to bowl with the gangsters...

The final trailer is Aonuma bowing for 3 minutes to apologize that the game is delayed as they got too many complaints of being a DLC and they're going back to the drawing board.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:40

The Dave: Sep 9, 2003

It's now a dating sim where Link is an unlucky landlord just looking for someone to give him a fair chance.

He also killed a few dogs with arrows but that's not the point.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:47

GATOS Y VATOS: Aug 22, 2002

kidcoelacanth posted:

found a mysterious leaf stamp in the gerudo highlands. lo and behold,

# ? Apr 12, 2023 20:52

DOPE FIEND KILLA G: Jun 4, 2011

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

ive moved from an apartment to a house and am on my fourth cohabitation situation since botw came out.
my original roommate said he�d stay for at least a year and then moved out with his girlfriend after four months and now we don�t talk anymore at all when we used to be best friends.
the second guy asked if he could get a dog, I said sure, just get something that won�t gently caress up my brand new carpet and will be good around my cats. then he proceeded to adopt an abused pit bull from an Indian reservation, loudly walked it at 6 am waking me up every morning without fail and refusing to alter his routine after I asked politely. the dog did not work out with my cats and he moved away after four months. we were also good friends and don�t talk anymore.

at that point my girlfriend moved in. we�d been together for three years at that point. after a year we were both extremely unhappy. she moved back into her parents house at the urging of a psychic. I don�t talk to her anymore either except to drunkenly text her to tell her she looks exactly like the girl from phantom of the opera.

now another woman has moved in, I thought the plan was to be in a relationship but apparently now that her room is set up and I�ve lovingly lowballed rent she wants to wait to be with me and go to therapy first. I�m sure that will go great.

I�m not really in the mood for another Zelda.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEVlK1qF30M

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:09

MokBa: Jun 8, 2006; If you see something suspicious, bomb it!

Why do they keep releasing trailers and doing Nintendo directs literally the hour my work day starts? Now I'm gonna be awkwardly watching on my phone while pretending to work.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:11

Mister Facetious: Apr 21, 2007; I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

kidcoelacanth posted:

found a mysterious leaf stamp in the gerudo highlands. lo and behold,

Enjoy your golden poo

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:19

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

ive moved from an apartment to a house and am on my fourth cohabitation situation since botw came out.
my original roommate said he�d stay for at least a year and then moved out with his girlfriend after four months and now we don�t talk anymore at all when we used to be best friends.
the second guy asked if he could get a dog, I said sure, just get something that won�t gently caress up my brand new carpet and will be good around my cats. then he proceeded to adopt an abused pit bull from an Indian reservation, loudly walked it at 6 am waking me up every morning without fail and refusing to alter his routine after I asked politely. the dog did not work out with my cats and he moved away after four months. we were also good friends and don�t talk anymore.

at that point my girlfriend moved in. we�d been together for three years at that point. after a year we were both extremely unhappy. she moved back into her parents house at the urging of a psychic. I don�t talk to her anymore either except to drunkenly text her to tell her she looks exactly like the girl from phantom of the opera.

now another woman has moved in, I thought the plan was to be in a relationship but apparently now that her room is set up and I�ve lovingly lowballed rent she wants to wait to be with me and go to therapy first. I�m sure that will go great.

I�m not really in the mood for another Zelda.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

hell yeah

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:23

Punished Chuck: Dec 27, 2010

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

ive moved from an apartment to a house and am on my fourth cohabitation situation since botw came out.
my original roommate said he�d stay for at least a year and then moved out with his girlfriend after four months and now we don�t talk anymore at all when we used to be best friends.
the second guy asked if he could get a dog, I said sure, just get something that won�t gently caress up my brand new carpet and will be good around my cats. then he proceeded to adopt an abused pit bull from an Indian reservation, loudly walked it at 6 am waking me up every morning without fail and refusing to alter his routine after I asked politely. the dog did not work out with my cats and he moved away after four months. we were also good friends and don�t talk anymore.

at that point my girlfriend moved in. we�d been together for three years at that point. after a year we were both extremely unhappy. she moved back into her parents house at the urging of a psychic. I don�t talk to her anymore either except to drunkenly text her to tell her she looks exactly like the girl from phantom of the opera.

now another woman has moved in, I thought the plan was to be in a relationship but apparently now that her room is set up and I�ve lovingly lowballed rent she wants to wait to be with me and go to therapy first. I�m sure that will go great.

I�m not really in the mood for another Zelda.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

The details of my history with the Zelda series are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. Needless to say, I�m not really in the mood for another Zelda.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:29

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

GoY did nothing wrong

Probe the unfunny livejournal posters instead imo

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:30

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Loucks posted:

GoY did nothing wrong

Probe the unfunny livejournal posters instead imo

We're talking in PMs. It's not the long dumb post, I wouldn't have time in my life to address those, it's the 'lowballing rent for girl who now won't gently caress me' bit.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:32

Mylan: Jun 19, 2002

Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

at that point my girlfriend moved in. we�d been together for three years at that point. after a year we were both extremely unhappy. she moved back into her parents house at the urging of a psychic.

So you're saying a fortune teller warned you of a great calamity?

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:32

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

HopperUK posted:

We're talking in PMs. It's not the long dumb post, I wouldn't have time in my life to address those, it's the 'lowballing rent for girl who now won't gently caress me' bit.

OK

That whole thing looks like a fakepost mocking the universally boring posts about the minutiae of people�s lives since BotW came out, but maybe they�re just fully insane.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:37

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Loucks posted:

OK

That whole thing looks like a fakepost mocking the universally boring posts about the minutiae of people�s lives since BotW came out, but maybe they�re just fully insane.

That's what I'm hoping! No worries - if I'm off-base I'll have an admin release them, no trouble.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:39

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

It must be a troll. I cannot believe "Ghislaine of YOSPOS" has some weirdly pathetic home life

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:39

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

HopperUK posted:

We're talking in PMs. It's not the long dumb post, I wouldn't have time in my life to address those, it's the 'lowballing rent for girl who now won't gently caress me' bit.

C'mon now, they said they were lovingly lowballing the rent, that's gotta count for something

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:40

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

She had a figure like a phantom hourglass, walked into my office one day like her pants were full of chu chu jelly. I said, hey listen, she said it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:42

romanowski: Nov 10, 2012

Tayter Swift posted:

you know zelda isn't an actual woman right

she's real, and so is the triforce

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:45

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

Huh. So I just read that the Korok seeds are all supposed to be Korok turds. So you are collecting poo poo. Thank you Nintendo.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:49

LionArcher: Mar 29, 2010

Six years. I realized as much as I call it the goat, I haven�t played BOTW i. Four year when I checked my save file last week and saw I had only done two beasts on my second play.

I should have the extra content (I want that bike) done and Gannon beat with a week or two to spare before the next one.

It�s funny. The first few hours playing again I was worried . Does it actually hold up? And then about two hours in clicked.

It�s so drat good.

Can�t wait to play the sequel to the GOAT in exactly one month! And trailer tomorrow!

LionArcher fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Apr 12, 2023

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:50

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

[thinking of playing this game with my life partner, whomst i have a stable relationship with] Im hype for the next Zelda

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:51

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:52

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

GoY and I have talked and all is well. Please go back to worrying about how annoying and intrusive the crafting system is going to be in the new game! I should finish Breath of the Wild sometime.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:52

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

I PLAYED A ZELDA GAME AND A GIRL MAY HAVE BEEN IN THE ROOM WHEN I DID IT

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:53

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:53

Mylan: Jun 19, 2002

My relationships have less durability than a rusty sword

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:55

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

will TotK have a Depression Olympics minigame?

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:57

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

My bones are filled with green dust and kids keep taunting me about my dusty old bones and the green dust inside of them so... Yeah... Not really in the mood for Zelda right now.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 22:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 07:57

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

More like CELLda. Because ghislaine of yospos is in an internet jail cell now because of their bad post about Zelda games

# ? Apr 12, 2023 22:33

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - another Nintendo troll for completionists

«‹›490 »