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FizFashizzle posted:So uh, hear me out there, Baz Luhrmann's Elvis is not a bad movie. This is hugely informative and a better summary of this route than anything else I've found on YouTube, Reddit, or any other website. Thank you very much for taking the time to type it all out. I think, if I chose the PA route, I would spend the next few years in undergrad saving up enough to quit work and support my family with savings during PA school. I don't see how I could work, study, and take care of my kid during the didactic period. It seems nearly impossible. seiferguy posted:My brother got his master's degree in a subset of biology and did it in a foreign country. He came back, and was only able to land a research job in academia, but enjoyed it for a bit. That said, after several years of the same thing and very little pay increases (it is academia) he ended up quitting and decided to go back to school to get a software engineering degree. He did it while with 2 kids and with him and his wife running an adult family home. hell yeah EmbryoSteve posted:Also I would encourage you to talk to your therapist about what fulfills you and what it might look like to live your values in your current situation and if you got a job.you felt more fulfilled in. It is a gigantic misnomer that you MUST HAVE fulfillment in your money making job. A lie we've been told since childhood that we are our job and the work you do for money must be Uber fulfilling. It's also OK to work something that is unfulfilled per se to support what does actually fulfill you. It can certainly.make that work easier when you connect the two 100%. I originally went to my therapist to discuss exactly this topic. About 6 months into our time working together, after tracking my moods and all the poo poo I said and did (hypomanic Ehud apparently has some obvious tells), she suspected an unaddressed, underlying mental health issue and screened be for bipolar 2. I was referred to another provider for a second screening which confirmed I have it and was prescribed a mood stabilizer. Long story made short, I'm no longer cycling between periods of wanting to lay in the floor and die, followed by briefer hypomanic periods where I'm irritable as hell, but also feel invincible, don't need much sleep, and make all kinds of crazy plans. We've also done a lot of values and career assessment stuff and the result was more or less, "Ehud does not like IT. It is important for Ehud to have work that provides for his family. It is important for Ehud to find work he finds fulfilling. Most of Ehud's career matches require a secondary education." As I key in on stuff that interests me, I will definitely keep discussing these options with her 
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Apr 14, 2023 16:30
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FizFashizzle posted:So uh, hear me out there, Baz Luhrmann's Elvis is not a bad movie. I couldn't get into it. The pacing and zillions of cuts just made me lost and gave me a headache within 10 minutes.
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Apr 14, 2023 16:38
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wandler20 posted:Current mood: Catatonic? Amy Pole Her posted:I hate that this made me laugh That's what I'm here for! 
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Apr 14, 2023 16:41
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Another recommendation for Stardew Valley. It is the perfect game.
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Apr 14, 2023 16:51
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Braksgirl posted:Another recommendation for Stardew Valley. It is the perfect game. Rimworld is better
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Apr 14, 2023 16:56
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Braksgirl posted:Another recommendation for Stardew Valley. It is the perfect game. Have you checked out Disney Dreamlight Valley? Definitely more akin to Animal Crossing but it’s my kid’s latest obsession, hang out with her Disney faves and play dress up
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Apr 14, 2023 17:02
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I couldn’t get past Tom Hanks in a fat suit. Terrible all around
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Apr 14, 2023 17:09
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Proud of Ehud. I also work a soulless computer touching job in finance but I have low constitution and willpower so starting a new career would be tough. Better to just keep going and derive life worth from stuff outside of work for me.
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Apr 14, 2023 17:10
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the company i work for/project i work on is admin stuff for state medical programs, some of the stuff i've done has helped people get services faster than they would otherwise. definitely beats working for u-haul, or the company that made POS software for gyms.
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Apr 14, 2023 17:15
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EmbryoSteve posted:I have a bachelor's in Women, Sexuality, and Gender studies and a Masters degree in clinical mental.health counseling. I practice in the northwest (go hawks) so acronyms will be specific to my state. I think in Florida my license is called LPC ( licensed professional counselor). I didn't take my first actual proper psych class until grad school. Youu don't need a psych background to be a good counselor. you're rad and it's rad that you help our community and I wish the best for you and your rad family
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Apr 14, 2023 17:21
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Pron on VHS posted:Proud of Ehud. I also work a soulless computer touching job in finance but I have low constitution and willpower so starting a new career would be tough. Better to just keep going and derive life worth from stuff outside of work for me. I hear ya. I keep trying to do the same, try new hobbies, spend a lot of time with my family, all that stuff that gives my fulfillment, but I've been sitting in meetings lately fighting the urge to scream, "I DON'T CARE". It feels like I'm supposed to be somewhere else doing something different. My biggest problem is I've never had an answer for what else I could do but touching computers. I hope I'm finally on the right track picking the brains of our resident medical and mental health pros. I really appreciate all the folks ITT who have answered questions so far. It's super helpful.
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Apr 14, 2023 17:43
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Pron on VHS posted:Proud of Ehud. I also work a soulless computer touching job in finance but I have low constitution and willpower so starting a new career would be tough. Better to just keep going and derive life worth from stuff outside of work for me. I think sticking with high earning security is the optimal move for most people in capitalist America tbh because… EmbryoSteve posted:It is a gigantic misnomer that you MUST HAVE fulfillment in your money making job. A lie we've been told since childhood that we are our job and the work you do for money must be Uber fulfilling. It's also OK to work something that is unfulfilled per se to support what does actually fulfill you. I have an awesome profession in an awesome situation that’s deeply aligned with my core values, and even then some of the time it still sucks because ultimately it’s still a job. Getting my dream job wasn’t a panacea to all my tribulations that suddenly just made me happy. Without getting into specifics, I have added substantive equity and utility to my community and yet I make a fraction of what a middling software engineer makes. It sucks but money is kind of happiness. Money = security, money = good housing conditions, money = vacations, etc etc. I have software engineer, finance, medical, etc., friends who took more fun vacations in the last 5 months than I have in the last 5 years. I literally don’t make enough money to do financial savings AND fun. Pet of that is I live in a high cost of living area, but if I moved to a less expensive area then my compensation would also decrease. Starting a family, even adopting a dog, is out of the question. Ostensibly if I had a partner I could maybe afford to be a parent but even then probably not. Basically all my friends/peers in my profession that have deeply fun lives either come from money or have a high earner significant other. In one sense, the best years of my life have been wasted because I didn’t get to do all the fun poo poo that many of my peers got to do. I’m in my mid thirties like you Ehud. I don’t know your whole situation Ehud, and Jesus…. IT + Finance sounds like my personal hell, but money is important. If I had a kid I’d be extremely risk averse to doing anything that reduces my earning potential. But every human is different and we have different lives experiences. Tldr, imo; 
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Apr 14, 2023 17:51
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Also Ehud you are one of the most reflective and empathetic and kind posters in TFF so you’d be probably be an excellent mental health provider.
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Apr 14, 2023 17:53
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Interesting and incredibly relatable posting, yall. Really made me think about how fulfilling anything I’ve done - even the legal aid pro bono poo poo - really is. Feels like we’re all drones trying to survive in a system designed to drain us at every point It really reminds me that this line was complete nonsense https://mygeekwisdom.com/2022/11/26/no-amount-of-money-ever-bought-a-second-of-time/ Lots of money could buy me a lifetime of doing what I want with my time, which sure feels like gaining time. I can’t imagine how much of a stress it is to face these types of decisions while supporting a little one. I take care of a family member financially and it weighs me down, but it’s not a lifetime of worry. I can’t even imagine switching careers mid stream right now. Ehud you’re a beast man. I echo the (edit sentiment) my that you’d be an excellent mental health professional, no matter which specific way you went Amy Pole Her fucked around with this message at 18:04 on Apr 14, 2023 |
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Apr 14, 2023 18:00
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Yeah great posts Ehud Ornery and Embryo. I think starting a new career in your 30s is a real “gently caress this I want to start living life better!” move because you are going against soooo much inertia.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:03
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Joey Freshwater posted:I want a time waster/mindless game, preferably for Switch. Which is better, Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing? They both seem relatively the same - or is there a better one? Haven't played either on Switch, but Stardew Valley seems like a "just one more day" kind of gameplay loop, while Animal Crossing is a zen garden / bonsai tree where you cultivate it a little bit each day. Was addicted to Harvest Moon 64 and AC on GameCube back in the day though. Might pick one up as a summer chill while I catch up on TV and outdoor beers.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:08
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Pron on VHS posted:Yeah great posts Ehud Ornery and Embryo. I think starting a new career in your 30s is a real “gently caress this I want to start living life better!” move because you are going against soooo much inertia. Ornery and Hornery posted:Also Ehud you are one of the most reflective and empathetic and kind posters in TFF so you’d be probably be an excellent mental health provider. Amy Pole Her posted:Interesting and incredibly relatable posting, yall. Really made me think about how fulfilling anything I’ve done - even the legal aid pro bono poo poo - really is. Feels like we’re all drones trying to survive in a system designed to drain us at every point We have a good rear end thread, ya'll.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:10
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This has been great to read. I'm up for promotion to director of engineering at my job and I feel like a complete fraud. I'm thankfully finally in tech building accessible and safe options for cancer screening/detection and early intervention and infectious disease treatment PrEP, PEP, other STI screenings and treatments for state DPHs. I am also able to strike a healthy work life balance to be present with family and pursue creative interests in the form of pottery. I think you'd do really well as a mental health provider, Ehud. You're incredibly empathetic and thoughtful here.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:14
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Amy Pole Her posted:Lots of money could buy me a lifetime of doing what I want with my time, which sure feels like gaining time. I can’t imagine how much of a stress it is to face these types of decisions while supporting a little one. I take care of a family member financially and it weighs me down, but it’s not a lifetime of worry. I can’t even imagine switching careers mid stream right now. Anyone who ever tells you that money isn’t important or can’t buy happiness or w/e that isn’t shoeless and living in the woods is just trying to keep more of that money for themselves
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Apr 14, 2023 18:16
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Freaquency posted:Anyone who ever tells you that money isn’t important or can’t buy happiness or w/e that isn’t shoeless and living in the woods is just trying to keep more of that money for themselves I mean I get it in that sense of people who base their self worth on whatever someone else is doing will never find happiness in that Bojack Horseman kind of way. But the inverse is absolutely true. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty owns misery.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:18
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Stardew is infinitely more fun. Animal Crossing is great if you love slow and stupid unskippable dialogue & landlords (Tom Nook is a piece of poo poo vulture who would definitely predate the Hollywood Greyhound station)
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Apr 14, 2023 18:20
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Want an oops story? Just had lunch with Braksgirl. Walked to her work and walking back now. I’m walking on the sidewalk by myself. I had to fart, so I did. Suddenly, this DPS bike cop is coming down the sidewalk, passed me, and then I can hear him coughing and gagging. Oops. 😁 How is your day going y’all?
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Apr 14, 2023 18:24
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Ehud be my therapist. As just a general reaction to all the cool posting the last few pages, I’ll just say I’ve long since resigned myself to never having a job that is truly fulfilling, but I’ve also never in my life really been someone who defined myself by my job (Or before that, school at any level). My job is just a means to allow me to do the things I really enjoy for all too brief periods of time, and currently have a semi-decent (But not great or ideal) work/life balance that I never had previously when stuck in school/working retail-related jobs. Freaquency posted:Anyone who ever tells you that money isn’t important or can’t buy happiness or w/e that isn’t shoeless and living in the woods is just trying to keep more of that money for themselves loving seriously. If nothing else, money can get you health care, and I’ve seen first hand that cause family members to be living out of their cars and all sorts of physical pain myself over the years. Thankfully, that’s mostly resolved now, but it’s always something that factors in…
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Apr 14, 2023 18:24
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Silly Burrito posted:Want an oops story? That’d be the highlight of my week.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:25
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Thaddius the Large posted:Have you checked out Disney Dreamlight Valley? Definitely more akin to Animal Crossing but it’s my kid’s latest obsession, hang out with her Disney faves and play dress up Yes I have that one. I’ve played it a fair amount but not for awhile. Braksgirl fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Apr 14, 2023 |
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Apr 14, 2023 18:28
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Kalli posted:I mean I get it in that sense of people who base their self worth on whatever someone else is doing will never find happiness in that Bojack Horseman kind of way. For most real people money doesn't guarantee happiness but the lack of money guarantees stress. But there's absolutely a certain amount of money which does guarantee happiness because it can purchase a sufficient stream of novel pleasantries to keep dismay away. Basically: Freaquency posted:Anyone who ever tells you that money isn’t important or can’t buy happiness or w/e that isn’t shoeless and living in the woods is just trying to keep more of that money for themselves
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Apr 14, 2023 18:29
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I recognize the grass is always greener and whatever, but if I could go back I'd absolutely just get an undergrad in software engineering and be a rich little tech bro with a cushy job. Like, an acquaintance of mine was laid off from tech and decided "well I'm just going to enjoy the next six months then start job searching again". Like what the gently caress. And they had so much money saved that their day to day quality of life didn't change at all. They kept buying toys, eating out almost every day, going on vacations, and making their mortgage payment. That's the part that's wild to me - that they make so much money that they live a completely purchase-happy life and still had so much money left over for savings that they could be completely fine not working for half a year.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:31
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Speaking of getting out and trying to enjoy things, we spent a couple nights at a cabin right on  That place is a little southwest of Grand Marais. We drove up to Grand Portage for the first time for either of us, so now we've gone all the way up to the tip of Minnesota:  Walked around a state park and stopped a few times for pictures on the drive. Our neighbors sometimes do a full loop of Lake Superior as a vacation, and I could see us doing that at some point. Here's the river between Minnesota and Canada thawing:  We're standing in MN, that's Canada about 50 feet away. And the falls also thawing a bit upstream of that: https://i.imgur.com/8SDj7vW.mp4 The video is really the only way to show how impressive it was with the water flowing under the ice. We were there after some thawing, apparently in the dead of winter it just looks iced over but is still rushing underneath. Then we got home to 70's and 80's, which means some screens got put back into windows for kitties to enjoy  They are still figuring each other out, but are definitely friends at this point 
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Apr 14, 2023 18:36
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RIP Matt Gaetz. Gonna laugh my rear end off when the first test case is a member of the clergy... https://twitter.com/LeadingReport/status/1646600035465941010?t=t7z0Dt2er9T4uBZu-6AEOw&s=19
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Apr 14, 2023 18:40
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Kalli posted:I mean I get it in that sense of people who base their self worth on whatever someone else is doing will never find happiness in that Bojack Horseman kind of way. Yes but those are never really pointed at the dudes working 120 hours a week trying to make partner or whatever; instead it’s the person asking for a raise because they would like to maybe be able to afford food possibly?
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Apr 14, 2023 18:41
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Silly Burrito posted:Want an oops story? Blowjob Overtime posted:Speaking of getting out and trying to enjoy things, we spent a couple nights at a cabin right on This looks like an amazing time.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:41
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swickles posted:RIP Matt Gaetz. Gonna laugh my rear end off when the first test case is a member of the clergy... I kept reading this tweet waiting for the twist.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:43
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Amy Pole Her posted:I kept reading this tweet waiting for the twist. well, first, I don't think a "Florida senate committee" has the final word on laws, but second, this is obviously supposed to be used against the parents of a trans child trying to get gender affirming therapy
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Apr 14, 2023 18:47
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My company is announcing layoffs next week, I could be impacted. Weirdly enough I haven't stressed about it much. I have so many other things to worry about (planning a wedding sucks sometimes!), but part of me would almost... be okay with being laid off? Like, it'd be a chance to do something else. This job has been the best paying job I've ever while not being extremely stressful. But at the same time, there's always more different things I could do. I think having gone through being laid off twice at this point I'll never have any form of loyalty to a job. Either way, I'm just waiting for this to be over. My in laws have included "my job situation" in their prayer circle and that makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I guess that's better than the opposite.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:50
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I've got a pretty fulfilling software engineering job where I write my own schedule, the work we do is seen by millions in a fairly interesting industry that most people would find fun to work for. It does buy a certain amount of "happiness" being paid to take naps and respond to emails and work when it fits my schedule. I still long for the quiet peace of death FWIW I have a BA in Sociology and could never get a job swabbing the deck in my department now, thank god for 20+ years seniority.  So I salute those of you trying to find a better life through gamechanging career choices/swaps. I could never do that, and now have to rely on buying a Supreme Court Justice's mom's house cheap and then selling it for profit because I'm not nearly as altruistic a patriot as Harlan Crow.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:51
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Ehud posted:Great info ty! if you want to be IT adjacent, might consider broadcast engineering if you take some EE classes to learn RF. It's another one of those fields like COBOL programmers where everyone's retiring and there's no new blood.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:54
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Your job should enable the life that you want to live, not the other way around hth. If it doesn't then fix that, if it does then give it some thought before you try something else. swickles posted:RIP Matt Gaetz. Gonna laugh my rear end off when the first test case is a member of the clergy... You do know that this is just to scare LGBTQ+ people and drag afficionados out of "polite society" right? If a member of the clergy or political class is ever put to death via this statute I will drive up to Wilkes-Barre and buy you lunch.
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Apr 14, 2023 18:59
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That's harsh to impose on Donald Trump!
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Apr 14, 2023 19:04
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Leperflesh posted:well, first, I don't think a "Florida senate committee" has the final word on laws, but second, this is obviously supposed to be used against the parents of a trans child trying to get gender affirming therapy Exactly. This is directly going to target parents, gender affirming care providers, and possibly even educators, and I don't expect them to stop there if things continue. Parents and educators of any child that identifies as LGBTQIA+ will be a target at this rate
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Apr 14, 2023 19:07
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Job Chat really hits close to home. I'm way overpaid, but job satisfaction is non-existent. I try to get by knowing it's helping my family with bills and activities, but when my job is basically 10 hours of demoralization a day, I just want to sleep and not do anything else. I just can't envision doing this for another 30 years after already being in the field for over 20. Depression is a hell of a thing. I'm jealous of the folks who are able to make the jump to new careers that they will enjoy. I'm almost there, but my kids are too young and my wife's schedule is too random for me to finally do it. On the upside, Picard S3 is good.
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Apr 14, 2023 19:12
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