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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for taking the vegetables of my kid's burgers? I'm sure they're both exhausted in their own right but like, for gently caress's sake even if it's veggies cooked and slathered in butter/cheese/ranch it's still veggies. Even if you have to partition them and deal with it like medicine up front, if you communicate explicitly and consistently over time you can push through it. gently caress I hate bad parents.
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Apr 16, 2023 17:25
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TheDeadlyShoe posted:Sure. But you shouldn't pretend thats not what you're doing or its not a big deal. How abusive does the one parent have to be before you think it's okay for the other to intervene?
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Apr 16, 2023 17:25
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TheDeadlyShoe posted:Sure. But you shouldn't pretend thats not what you're doing or its not a big deal. He was undermining his own kids wishes. This might shock you but kids are people. They having feelings. They know what they like to eat and what they don't like to eat. Controlling her food like this is literally how you give someone an eating disorder. Are you cool with your kid possibly dying from one just because god forbid you undermine a controlling rear end in a top hat
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Apr 16, 2023 17:33
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run on sentience posted:How abusive does the one parent have to be before you think it's okay for the other to intervene? maybe put some effort into reading before going straight to 'why are you pro abuse?' intervene all you like. just don't be like 'oh its not a big deal, anyway it was a one time thing, stop making a fuss. update: actually it happened all the time and its a huge deal'.
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Apr 16, 2023 17:33
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The lady seemed to mention that the Dad was being controlling about the food right from the start of the poat however?
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Apr 16, 2023 17:35
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Johnny Truant posted:why did iceberg lettuce become so popular anyway, is it just wicked easy to grow?
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Apr 16, 2023 17:36
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Obviously Dad knows best and the woman should just shut up else she commit the worst sin ever, contradict a man
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Apr 16, 2023 17:36
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Johnny Truant posted:why did iceberg lettuce become so popular anyway, is it just wicked easy to grow? Shelf life and cost, like a lot of produce. Same reason the only non-dried beans you can find regularly in the store are bland green beans that need a sauce to taste like anything.
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Apr 16, 2023 17:39
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Josef bugman posted:The lady seemed to mention that the Dad was being controlling about the food right from the start of the poat however? Yes but she undermined him. Think of the example that could set, undermining dads everywhere who just want to be a little controlling
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Apr 16, 2023 17:41
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TheDeadlyShoe posted:maybe put some effort into reading before going straight to 'why are you pro abuse?' What? None of what you just said is in what the OP posted. You are just making poo poo up to defend this abusive rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 16, 2023 17:44
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run on sentience posted:What? None of what you just said is in what the OP posted. You are just making poo poo up to defend this abusive rear end in a top hat. I'm not defending him at all. I've had bad experiences with people who say 'it's just one time, it's not that big a deal', on topics that are pretty clearly important. Like say, in this post, 'You're abusing our kids.' Incidentally getting into that sort of argument is very hard for someone who is neurodivergent to deal with. You know it's a big deal, it's been a point of argument for years, but they're saying its nothing to be concerned about. Obviously its a big deal for the OP. The kids veggies are the main thing they argue about as a couple, and it's leading to divorce. She either had not internalized it or she's spinning hard, and it leads me to not trust her post because I can't tell which. Maybe thats just unreasonable bias from past gaslighting that was done to me. But I'm not defending anything the guy did for fucks sake.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:19
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Josef bugman posted:The lady seemed to mention that the Dad was being controlling about the food right from the start of the poat however? The Dad also sucks because he's not actually doing anything other than being forceful, and not addressing what are clearly massive communication/priority issues in his marriage. CharlestheHammer posted:Yes but she undermined him. -- A controversial, controlling position.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:24
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Vegetables? You mean that gay poo poo that grows in the ground???
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Apr 16, 2023 18:25
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mind the walrus posted:You read "I have a problem with picky eaters" and shortcut into thinking "therefore Dad is correct." That would be wrong, and kind-of dumb. Oh I get it isn’t controlling if you agree with it, forgot that is how that works
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Apr 16, 2023 18:28
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I think we've seen a lot of scenarios in which ND kids (or picky eaters, not even necessarily ND) get away with just not eating foods that are good for them and stick to the same chicken nuggies their entire lives. So getting good nutrition is definitely a concern, but there is nothing to say one way or the other about whether the OP on her own would let her kids eat whatever or whether she'd try to work with them around their preferences. Maybe if the OP never bothered to try to get them to eat veggies and the dad was trying to do that in the one way he knew how, we could judge it differently, but there's nothing to suggest that. As it stands, overriding an order is definitely controlling, and putting lettuce/tomato on a cheeseburger would hardly solve any nutritional problems anyway. And OP is literally thinking about divorce, so this isn't just some kind of one-time communication blip.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:29
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Good god, the issue is not just veggies, the issue is that the dad has a habit of controlling what the children are eating and literally undermined his own daughter. Yes kids need healthy food but what the dad is doing is giving his kids an extremely unhealthy relationship with food that can lead to an eating disorder. There are ways to get kids to eat healthy, controlling everything they eat is not the way to do it. Giving them choices that they actually like is the way to do it. And if the girl has issues with texture or is a picky eater, arguing with her and forcing her to order something she doesn't want isn't the answer. Again, he is setting them up to have unhealthy relationships with food My kids don't like brussel sprouts so when I make them for my wife and I, they get the choice of eating them or I just microwave a bag of frozen broccoli for them which they love. Screaming at them to eat the sprouts wouldn't solve anything
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Apr 16, 2023 18:30
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TheDeadlyShoe posted:I'm not defending him at all. The behavior you're acting like such a red flag is behavior that can be caused by being the target of abuse. Looking at that and saying "That's a red flag, I don't trust that," sounds an awful lot like "Well why weren't you just better at realizing abuse was happening?" victim-blaming.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:31
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Did they even say the kid won't eat vegetables ever, or just that the kid hates lettuce and tomato on her burger? It reads more like he's going 'You need to have vegetables at EVERY meal' and has decided that for burgers, tomato and lettuce are the vegetables, you have no choice. I hate sliced tomato. I wouldn't put them on a burger either; they can do nothing but make it much worse. Doesn't mean I don't eat spinach and broccoli and roasted brussels sprouts and a lot of other options at other meals, though. (Or even the same meal!)
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Apr 16, 2023 18:33
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Midnight Voyager posted:The behavior you're acting like such a red flag is behavior that can be caused by being the target of abuse. Looking at that and saying "That's a red flag, I don't trust that," sounds an awful lot like "Well why weren't you just better at realizing abuse was happening?" victim-blaming. so your argument is that the wife is the victim of abuse here? or what? TheDeadlyShoe fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Apr 16, 2023 |
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Apr 16, 2023 18:34
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CharlestheHammer posted:Oh I get it isn’t controlling if you agree with it, forgot that is how that works The only way to get kids to eat vegetables is to chain them to a table and force them to eat steamed brussels sprouts like a 90s McDonalds Commercial.  Got to do it until the cPTSD kicks in. There's literally no other way. No other way I tell you. B-Rock452 posted:Good god, the issue is not just veggies, the issue is that the dad has a habit of controlling what the children are eating and literally undermined his own daughter. Yes kids need healthy food but what the dad is doing is giving his kids an extremely unhealthy relationship with food that can lead to an eating disorder. The issue isn't whatever dumb bullshit happened at the restaurant. They're eating out, it's trash food, iceberg/tomato is not the hill to die on. No one is saying that. The issue is that Dad and Mom both have terrible attitudes towards food that also happen to be incompatible, and it bugs the poo poo out of me because I've had to deal with both types separately and they're both insufferable loving clods. Prism posted:Did they even say the kid won't eat vegetables ever, or just that the kid hates lettuce and tomato on her burger? It reads more like he's going 'You need to have vegetables at EVERY meal' and has decided that for burgers, tomato and lettuce are the vegetables, you have no choice. They talked about how the kid is ND and has serious issues with eating in general, which strongly implies that the restaurant is just a flashpoint for both of their garbage. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 16, 2023 18:34
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doesn't soudn like anybody is against making sure the kid eats veggies, just sounds like op didn't like how her husband pushed it -- "you don't need to freak out about vegetables all the time." and, yeah, idk, i don't have kids but to me it's nbd to show junk food can be fun and okay if you don't do it all the time. it'd be better than making it taboo. i'd guess there is history of the husband pushing stuff like that in their relationship if she is thinking divorce.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:38
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The parents don't seem to know much about nutrition. Telling kids to eat vegetables is not abuse. Both of these can be true vOv It's fun to see the pre-existing conditions goons bring to the table when discussing this stuff, sometimes ppl get real mad when their interpretations aren't shared by all and you can just see the unspent therapy dollars just lying there on the ground as they rip into their peers who disagree. Those parents need to come to terms with their differing opinions on nutritional standards, when they do it in front of the kids it makes them both look lovely.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:45
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JosephSkunk posted:The parents don't seem to know much about nutrition. This is such a nothing answer I honestly don’t know why you posted it
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Apr 16, 2023 18:46
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Doesn’t ketchup count as a tomato?
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Apr 16, 2023 18:47
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mind the walrus posted:
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Apr 16, 2023 18:47
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Doesn’t ketchup count as a tomato? Move the kids to one of the school districts where pizza is a vegetable
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Apr 16, 2023 18:48
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TheDeadlyShoe posted:so your argument is that the wife is the victim of abuse here? or what? I don't know, maybe? We don't have a lot of context. You point out that the kids are. Either way, it's hiding under a veneer of "Well I'm just a healthy eater, I want our kids to be healthy, that's a good thing!" so the wife is inclined to doubt herself and think it's not a big deal. When she realized it could be hurting her kids, she realized it's actually a big deal. People who abuse others frog-boiling the people around them into accepting it as "not a big deal" is pretty common. mind the walrus posted:Insisting children learn how to eat vegetables, experiment in the kitchen with them to find versions that are tasty to their palate, frame things in a good way? That's stupid pussy boy poo poo. That's what the dad is basically doing and everyone is saying it's bad and that they SHOULD do the things you are sarcastically acting like everyone is against. We don't know what the mom is doing other than saying "hey stop making her eat this one thing she will refuse to touch to the point of not eating." You're adding a whole lot that's just nowhere in the text. mind the walrus posted:Oh cool the ED crew logged on. Sorry about the toxic beauty standards our society has and that someone in your family never stopped calling you fat and/or forced you to hide poo poo in you room for binging/purging. I really am. yeah that really sounds like you're just making GBS threads on people with eating disorders.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:48
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CharlestheHammer posted:This is such a nothing answer I honestly don’t know why you posted it Turn on your monitor?
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Apr 16, 2023 18:49
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JosephSkunk posted:Turn on your monitor? How would that help you
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Apr 16, 2023 18:51
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B-Rock452 posted:Thanks for minimizing what myself and several other goons have mentioned already in this thread "oh GREAT those SICK PEOPLE are here, yeah, sorry you had a bad time, yadda yadda, I promise I really give a poo poo."
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Apr 16, 2023 18:51
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JosephSkunk posted:Turn on your monitor? That's not how that works at all.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:51
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mind the walrus posted:Oh cool the ED crew logged on. Sorry about the toxic beauty standards our society has and that someone in your family never stopped calling you fat and/or forced you to hide poo poo in you room for binging/purging. I really am. This was lovely and unnecessary and maybe take a few minutes to think before your next post.
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Apr 16, 2023 18:53
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mind the walrus posted:Oh cool the ED crew logged on. Sorry about the toxic beauty standards our society has and that someone in your family never stopped calling you fat and/or forced you to hide poo poo in you room for binging/purging. I really am. What the absolute gently caress is this ignorant bullshit?
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Apr 16, 2023 18:56
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carry on then posted:Don't forget to suspend it in gelatin. Fil5000 posted:That'd be the aspic Aspic is only something I know about because of something awful. I think a goon or two found some 1950’s cook books, because I remember tons of pictures of stuff suspended in gelatin that should never be consumed with gelatin.  I feel like that Google title should say: quote:Aspic Bored fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Apr 16, 2023 |
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Apr 16, 2023 18:58
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mind the walrus posted:Oh cool the ED crew logged on. Sorry about the toxic beauty standards our society has and that someone in your family never stopped calling you fat and/or forced you to hide poo poo in you room for binging/purging. I really am. 
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Apr 16, 2023 18:59
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dad abusive, so what
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Apr 16, 2023 19:01
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Vegan Bacon would be a good compromise. All the vegetables with none of the health benefits. Add ketchup to taste.
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Apr 16, 2023 19:06
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Bored posted:Aspic is only something I know about because of something awful. I think a going or two found some 1950’s cook books, because I remember tons of pictures. I only heard of aspic in a Family Guy joke so don't look at me.
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Apr 16, 2023 19:08
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Just make the kids smoothies. Can't have texture problems if your food is a slurry.
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Apr 16, 2023 19:10
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JosephSkunk posted:Turn on your monitor? So, just for future reference the way this joke works(I think) is I say something like "wow, Elon musk is so pasty and lumpy, hard to believe!" Then you say ... you guessed it! Turn on your monitor! And we all have a good laugh. Also, it's generally not used in adversarial or argumentative contexts. It's more of a catchphrase than a true insult. Because obviously in the example above you don't really know what I look like (thank God!). So there's no way for me to take it personally .
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Apr 16, 2023 19:12
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