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post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

bob dobbs is dead posted:

pharmacy does really seem to have that weird combo of "if you gently caress up peeps die" and "retail dog poo poo management", doesnt it

This sounds really appealing if you’ve worked in retail long enough.

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PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


post hole digger posted:

This sounds really appealing if you’ve worked in retail long enough.

lmao

go play outside Skyler
Nov 7, 2005


PIZZA.BAT posted:

i understand interviewing for the sake of it but jesus at least try to interview for jobs that at least meet where you're at a bit. sitting there for a half an hour to an hour going, 'idk lol' is not good practice!

sorry for venting but i've been insanely busy these past few weeks and having to take time out of my day to field these interviews was really frustrating

have you considered the job posting is missing crucial details?

i've had interviews where it sounded great on paper, the interview went well, and then talking about benefits, compensation and perks it all just fell appart. i feel like they were the ones wasting my time.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
two sided market for lemons

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

post hole digger posted:

This sounds really appealing if you’ve worked in retail long enough.

lol


most places I’ve worked before have held a bit of a sense that we’re kind of in charge of ourselves, but this place is real old school micromanagement from
above and I like the crew and there are decent perks but idk this really pissed me off lol

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


go play outside Skyler posted:

have you considered the job posting is missing crucial details?

i've had interviews where it sounded great on paper, the interview went well, and then talking about benefits, compensation and perks it all just fell appart. i feel like they were the ones wasting my time.

bob dobbs is dead posted:

two sided market for lemons

^^^

it's very clear that we're looking for someone technical and with enough customer-facing laps around the sun that poo poo doesn't phase you anymore

not only is the job posting clear but they have to get through our internal recruiter and my own boss who also both make it very very clear what they're signing up for. this isn't some maple story children bullshit

even still we've had people nodding their head saying 'yup sounds great!' and they're tossed to me and they can't answer the first step to navigating the command line let alone diagnosing why a kubernetes cluster is being fucky

our comp & bennies are both really good which is probably why we're dealing with so many lemons. i'm just frustrated at the fact that i'm dealing with lots of customer poo poo sun up to sun down and am taking very critical time out of my day to talk to these candidates. so when we've put as many, 'WARNING! THIS JOB IS HARD! WE'RE NOT JOKING' signs as we reasonably can i'm still dealing with sales reps who took a python bootcamp one time and big four consultants who think they're hot poo poo because their resume links to their vanity react app

it's cool though because like i said we found a few candidates who are very qualified and we'll probably hire them. i'm just pissed because it's been a stressful few weeks and talking to someone who's just wasting both my time and their own is really aggravating

PIZZA.BAT fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Apr 13, 2023

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


to quote the great warrior poet shania twain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqFLXayD6e8

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

PIZZA.BAT posted:

tell me about it. i'm doing interviews for a technical role where we make it clear that we're expecting someone senior who's going to have to be able to operate on their own in pretty demanding environments and half the candidates answered 'not very' when i just point blank asked how technical they were. like come on man i understand poo poo's hard right now but why are you wasting your own time let alone ours with this poo poo?

one of them would straight up answer, 'oh i just had our tech guy do that' to even my softball questions. THIS IS A TECHNICAL ROLE! WE MADE IT REALLY CLEAR IN THE POSTING THAT THIS WAS VERY TECHNICAL!! gently caress

of the remaining half there were a couple that definitely had the gumption and are just talking to us at the wrong time. they'd be excellent hires a year from now when we've managed to put out the fires and have the time to mentor them, but that's not now, sadly.

two candidates though had that dead look in their eye from the beginning that i knew they'd be perfect. they've seen the real poo poo and weren't scared. production servers on fire off the shoulder of Q3. load balancers glitter in the dark against aws-east-1. etc etc

amazing that not only are these people not technical they also can't lie

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice

nudgenudgetilt posted:

had another where we talked about their most memorable but that made it to prod, and was told he knew the code was going to fail, but pushed it anyway because the bug was someone else's fault

this guy knows how to play the game

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
whats the "resume" way to say this:

quote:

Worked with a bunch of dumbass contractors who couldn't find their asses with both hands and refactored their garbage-tier code into actual useful products

it seems like this is a good and valuable skill but i'm struggling to write a pithy bulletpoint

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



* led team of N junior engineers to deliver ____ while providing mentorship wrt. the fundamentals of software engineering

e: assuming you ahd a leadership position. otherwise "mentored team of N..."

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
hmm, thats feeling pretty good! The contractors were actually a team hired out from a company (although there were also individuals who were contracted from other places #juststartupthings) but it might not be an important distinction

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Achmed Jones posted:

* led team of N junior engineers to deliver ____ while providing mentorship wrt. the fundamentals of software engineering

e: assuming you ahd a leadership position. otherwise "mentored team of N..."

dont use the n word

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
just feed it into chatgpt

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
then add “prompt engineer” to your skills section

strangehamster
Sep 21, 2010

dance the night away


I am applying to all the remote jobs on LinkedIn that looks like software asset management and related. Do I really need a $2000 industry certificate?! jeeezzz what a racket.

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone

kitten emergency posted:

just feed it into chatgpt

for some reason every time i try to sign up for chatgpt it says something about invalid email no matter which email i use, i don't know how everyone else is using it so easily

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

Corla Plankun posted:

for some reason every time i try to sign up for chatgpt it says something about invalid email no matter which email i use, i don't know how everyone else is using it so easily

use google sso op

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
i tried three different google sso accounts and got the same thing

the first time i signed up i tried some fake email generator and maybe my ip is just shadowbanned now or something

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

well for the first time since 2014 i need to write a resume, my college one probably sucked and is going to be completely different anyway, so i want to start over. what's the best place to get a starting point for one? i checked the ops of threads across the forums but didn't see anything up to date.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



CARRY ON THEN

Java specialist with over ____ years of experience writing critical code with an interest in ____________.

SKILLS

Proficient: bash, golang, knife-fighting, terraform
Expertise: java, petting dogs

EXPERIENCE

Job 1

Title 2 - two years ago - present
Touched computers and led the team and stuff and made lots of money

Title 1 - eight years ago - two years ago
Touched computers in the way that i was told, made less money

SELECTED OSS PROJECTS

* buttfarter - CLI tool that farts the butts (omit if you dont have them)

TALKS AND PRESENTATIONS

(omit if you dont have them)

* farting butts at scale - Bumfuck Java Conference 1999

EDUCATION

(omit if you don't have a BA)

CERTIFICATIONS

(omit if you don't have any)

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



or just search this thread and copy mononcqc's or somebody else's template. then post it here but don't get mad and give up when we tell you to change something, just change the thing

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

Achmed Jones posted:

CARRY ON THEN

Java specialist with over ____ years of experience writing critical code with an interest in ____________.

SKILLS

Proficient: bash, golang, knife-fighting, terraform
Expertise: java, petting dogs

EXPERIENCE

Job 1

Title 2 - two years ago - present
Touched computers and led the team and stuff and made lots of money

Title 1 - eight years ago - two years ago
Touched computers in the way that i was told, made less money

SELECTED OSS PROJECTS

* buttfarter - CLI tool that farts the butts (omit if you dont have them)

TALKS AND PRESENTATIONS

(omit if you dont have them)

* farting butts at scale - Bumfuck Java Conference 1999

EDUCATION

(omit if you don't have a BA)

CERTIFICATIONS

(omit if you don't have any)

thanks, just needed the outline. for talks and presentations, i was a regular on a small community webcast where we demoed how to do things or new releases of our tool, is that worth listing under talks or is that pretty much conferences only?

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"
IME that stuff is always worth mentioning

KidDynamite
Feb 11, 2005

mononcqc's template has gotten compliments.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



carry on then posted:

thanks, just needed the outline. for talks and presentations, i was a regular on a small community webcast where we demoed how to do things or new releases of our tool, is that worth listing under talks or is that pretty much conferences only?

it 100% counts, throw it on there

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN
everything counts. if you just have an associates degree throw it on there too

SeXTcube
Jan 1, 2009

KidDynamite posted:

mononcqc's template has gotten compliments.
I have used their (modified) template in support of landing two jobs so far. Occasionally you'll get someone commenting on the LaTeX too.

tk
Dec 10, 2003

Nap Ghost

carry on then posted:

thanks, just needed the outline. for talks and presentations, i was a regular on a small community webcast where we demoed how to do things or new releases of our tool, is that worth listing under talks or is that pretty much conferences only?

This is good. Devs hate presenting.

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

alright, first bit I need review help with (and yes, I promise not to argue and just make changes). I need to compact my experience section, it's taking too much space. should i be breaking it out by title like this? it was two promotions but all on the same team, although as it hopefully shows i grew my responsibilities significantly (heard today that i was expected to take over as team architect when the current one retired next year until i got laid off lmao). i'm also concerned about the titles themselves, as they don't mean the same things they do elsewhere (especially staff, which is just one level above entry-level here but like super high up elsewhere).

quote:

Advisory Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2022–Present
Contributed to design, development, and socialization of new features for migration tools to enable modernization of complex environments. Conducted public and client-requested virtual presentations to demo new features in our tools and gather user feedback. Mentored team members to handle client support cases, while also resolving client issues. Optimized build and test infrastructure to cut overall tool build times in half, and learned Ansible to automate provisioning of team infrastructure.

Staff Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2018-2021
Designed and developed graphical user interface for cloud migration wizard. Proposed capability of saving and resuming cloud migrations based on wizard flow. Worked closely with team architect to prototype, then deliver configuration migration support to application migration tool, significantly improving quality of translated WebSphere configuration in existing upstream tools. Created automation to translate application migration rules to Konveyor project tool’s format and used it to contribute WebSphere to Open Liberty migration rules to that project. Provided client support. Provided department mentoring in git and Salesforce during organizational transitions.

Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2014-2017
Assisted in delivering clone migration features to allow zero-downtime version upgrades for WebSphere users as part of major version release. Developed user interface for clone migration in migration graphical wizards for both distributed platforms and z/OS, including updating JCL job templates generated for mainframe users. Assisted team members in diagnosing and resolving client issues.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

tk posted:

This is good. Devs hate presenting.

beats workin imo

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

rotor posted:

beats workin imo

teaching is basically 75% of how i learn things

AnoHito
May 8, 2014

tk posted:

This is good. Devs hate presenting.

can confirm, gently caress presenting. please god hire someone else to do the presenting

Jabor
Jul 16, 2010

#1 Loser at SpaceChem
Broad strokes: When you say things like "assisted in" or "contributed to", it sounds like you didn't do any of the actual work. (Because those are the kind of weasel words that hangers-on who don't do any work like to use to try and obscure that). For the stuff you actually did yourself, be more direct and just say that you did a thing. For stuff where you made contributions to a larger team effort, talk about the broader goal the team accomplished after you mention specific things you did towards that goal. (It could be as simple as saying you delivered "key features").

For stuff you didn't do yourself, saying that you "led" the design and development of something is way more compelling than saying that you "contributed to" it. You don't need to be the big boss for this - typically lots of people have some amount of leadership when it comes to setting the direction of a team or ensuring that some of the designs end up in the right place. Saying that you led the design of some sub-area is more impressive than saying that you contributed to the overall thing. If you can't honestly say you had leadership there then I'd consider leaving it off, since you have plenty of other stuff listed for that role and don't need to pad it out. Shuffle the optimization work to the top of the list so you're leading with the stuff you did and then following with leadership and mentoring aspects.

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

quote:

Advisory Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2022–Present
Researched, designed, and developed new configuration migration features to enable modernization of complex environments to OpenShift. Led socialization of new capabilities in upstream product and developed sample demo scenario. Optimized build and test infrastructure to cut overall tool build times in half, and learned Ansible to automate provisioning of team infrastructure. Conducted public and client-requested virtual presentations to demo new features in our tools and gather user feedback. Mentored team members to handle client support cases, while also resolving client issues.

Staff Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2018-2021
Created automation to translate application migration rules to Konveyor project tool’s format and used it to contribute WebSphere to Open Liberty migration rules to that project. Provided client support. Designed and developed graphical user interface for cloud migration wizard. Proposed capability of saving and resuming cloud migrations based on wizard flow. Prototyped and delivered areas of configuration migration support to application migration tool, significantly improving quality of translated WebSphere configuration in existing upstream tools. Provided department mentoring in git and Salesforce during organizational transitions. Provided client support and delivered new features to meet client needs.

Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2014-2017
Delivered key features for new clone migration strategy to allow zero-downtime version upgrades for WebSphere users as part of major version release. Developed user interface for clone migration in migration graphical wizards for both distributed platforms and z/OS, including updating JCL job templates generated for mainframe users. Provided client support.

is this better? i want to make sure i emphasize the complex environments piece in my current role because it was my biggest deliverable of 2022. i wound up doing most of the research into the configuration we needed to convert and implementing that conversion, but the overall "design" as we considered it was done collaboratively in meetings rather than delegated, so it's very hard to say i "led" any of it even though i was probably talking the most during those meetings. then i did take the lead in socializing the capability we enabled in a product that consumes us, not only giving presentations but also coming up with the sample applications and the end-to-end demo scenario, so i split those out again.

i still have too much stuff to fit on one page in the template i'm using now. i don't think the other template will help, but i can try it later after i install mactex again and remember enough latex to get everything copied over. currently have a summary, skills, experience, selected open source, talks, education, and awards, and the last two don't fit. can drop awards for sure (they're all company stuff, nothing third party), but education probably needs to fit.

carry on then fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Apr 19, 2023

in a well actually
Jan 26, 2011

dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme

carry on then posted:

is this better? i want to make sure i emphasize the complex environments piece in my current role because it was my biggest deliverable of 2022. i wound up doing most of the research into the configuration we needed to convert and implementing that conversion, but the overall "design" as we considered it was done collaboratively in meetings rather than delegated, so it's very hard to say i "led" any of it even though i was probably talking the most during those meetings. then i did take the lead in socializing the capability we enabled in a product that consumes us, not only giving presentations but also coming up with the sample applications and the end-to-end demo scenario, so i split those out again.

i still have too much stuff to fit on one page in the template i'm using now. i don't think the other template will help, but i can try it later after i install mactex again and remember enough latex to get everything copied over. currently have a summary, skills, experience, selected open source, talks, education, and awards, and the last two don't fit. can drop awards for sure (they're all company stuff, nothing third party), but education probably needs to fit.

you implemented ansible, not learned ansible.

Can shorten the last sentence to “Developed wizard based graphical user interface for clone migration on enterprise and modern platforms.”

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



at this point in your career a two page resume is probably fine, i wouldn't worry about it. if you want to, cut down on the details about the job. people won't really care about what you did in the role when reading the resume - they'll care about that stuff during the behavioral interview.

and of course the farther back the role is, the more aggressively you cut it down. 3-2-1 bullet points for of your last 3 roles (and titles only before that) seems to work out fine ime but is by no means a strict rule

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome
a two page resume is fine but make sure the important poo poo - skills, recent positions, summary - are all on the first page. Feel free to go into detail on the 2nd page.

MononcQc
May 29, 2007

KidDynamite posted:

mononcqc's template has gotten compliments.

sieve jorbs posted:

I have used their (modified) template in support of landing two jobs so far. Occasionally you'll get someone commenting on the LaTeX too.

:tipshat: it's gonna be like a secret yospos interview handshake at some point

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Mantle
May 15, 2004

I can't find his thread, but these are some changes in the style of resume goon guy Parahexasomething? I recommend working with him to polish it off but this is the kind of thing he is good at.

quote:

Advisory Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2022–Present
Designed, developed and socialized new features for migration tools; modernized complex environments. Demonstrated new tool features to public and clients in virtual presentations; gathered user feedback. Resolved client support cases; mentored team members.
Optimized build and test infrastructure; automated provisioning using Ansible. Cut tool build times in half.

Staff Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2018-2021
Designed and developed graphical user interface for cloud migration wizard. Proposed capability of saving and resuming cloud migrations based on wizard flow. Architected, prototyped and delivered application migration tool. Automated translation of application migration tools from Konveyor to Open Liberty. Supported clients. Mentored teammates in git and Salesforce.

Software Developer, IBM; Rochester, MN — 2014-2017
Delivered clone migration during major version release; enabled zero-downtime version upgrades for WebSphere. Developed UI for clone migration for distributed platforms and z/OS; created JCL job templates. Diagnosed and resolved client issues; assisted team members.

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