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May 23, 2024 13:44
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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Alright, ant it is then...
The First Journey – Chapter 20
quote:
The parasol ant morph makes sense. Who notices an ant? You congratulate yourself on your bright idea.
Until you’re an ant. The others had really warned you about this morph. They told you how hard it was to hang onto their own selves during it. The ant has no self. It is focused on solely food and enemies and getting back to the colony.
So you thought you were prepared. But the loss of self frightens you intensely. Your antennae wave in front of you, smelling for food and enemies.
Okay, so scratch that part where I said it felt like You was a part of the team now because apparently Jake and co. just went on the Chapman infiltration ant colony disaster mission without them.
Yeah I get it, it’s a quick catch up for people who might not have read the early books and missed out on the wonderful horror of everyone nearly dying in an ant-on-ant furball that required them to literally bail on the mission and morph back to human while still under like six inches of grass and dirt and completely ruined a patch of Chapman’s lawn as they all burst up out of it in mortal panic. But still.
quote:
<Stay focused, everyone,> Jake orders.
You start up a tree. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Got to find food.
<Let’s get this over with,> Marco says. <I hate the ant morph.>
<I must admit, this is not a creature I would want to morph again,> Ax says.
<Hold it!> Tobias warns. <I only see five of you.>
The others tick off a roll call. You don’t answer. You’re halfway up the tree now. You’ve got to keep going.
Food is up here. You can bring food back to the colony. You smell something dead. A beetle. You will dismember it, carry pieces back.
<Guys, we have a problem,> Tobias says.
<Get a hold of yourself! You’re not an ant!> Jake yells at you.
And your human mind screams to life. You don’t want to dismember a beetle. A beetle leg is not your idea of good eating.
<All right,> you say shakily. <I’m back. I’m okay. But whew. That was a close one.>
Closer than you think. Because hanging on a tree branch over you is a sloth. And she’s hungry. She hangs onto the branch with her tail while her head swings past you. Her tongue swoops out, and -
SLURP! You’re lunch.
What an arbitrary bullshit death. Oh well.
Motherfucking time loops, am I right?
W̵a̶i̵t̸.̸
So, we have three potential all new morph options to choose from, they are:
- A money.
- A parrot.
- A parasol ant.
I’d say choose wisely, but the good thing about time loops is we’ll be back here once again if you gently caress up and get us killed.
Motherfucking time loops, am I right?
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Apr 23, 2023 20:53
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- effervescible
- Jun 29, 2012
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i will eat your soul
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Parrots are cool.
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Apr 23, 2023 22:38
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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quote:
The Visser considers your offer and accepts.
The Yeerks leave Earth immediately. You have single-handedly saved humanity.
The End
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Apr 25, 2023 00:59
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- Fuschia tude
- Dec 26, 2004
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THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019
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time to reject humanity, return to monk
Only registered members can see post attachments!
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Apr 25, 2023 09:33
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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We're tied 4-4 between Monkey and Parrot, so next vote breaks the tie.
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Apr 26, 2023 02:19
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- Zore
- Sep 21, 2010
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willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things
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Parrot for sure
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Apr 26, 2023 02:21
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- Acebuckeye13
- Nov 2, 2010
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Ultra Carp
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Monkey for the sole reason of being contrarian 
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Apr 26, 2023 02:35
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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Saved from another death morph by literally one vote. Thank you, Zore!
Monkey for the sole reason of being contrarian
TOO SLOW BITCH 
The First Journey – Chapter 19
quote:
You don’t have the same wing strength as a bird of prey, but at least you can fly. The parrot morph allows you to soar just underneath the upper canopy. Your green feathers offer camouflage.
<I like this morph,> Cassie says. <I really feel like I belong here.>
<As long as Tobias doesn’t eat us for lunch,> Marco says, dipping under a tree branch and then soaring upward.
<I’m sure getting a workout,> Jake says. <This isn’t like being a falcon and soaring with the thermals. You really have to work.>
You know it’s the correct morph because they bring up T H E R M A L S
quote:
<Well, work it, girl,> Marco teases.
<How do you know I’m a girl?> Jake asks.
<Because that red tail is so adorable,> Marco answers.
Everyone laughs, and it comes out in parrot-speak. C-c-c-err-EPP-err-EPP! It feels good to laugh, even if you’re doing it with a thick, curved beak.
<Pipe down, you guys,> Tobias warns. <I see them.>
Tobias has been flying ahead of the group. With his superior eyesight and wing power, he is able to see the Hork-Bajir from far away.
<They’re destroying everything!> Tobias suddenly shouts. <Must have gotten bored just looking. They’re slashing and burning!>
<Okay, fade back, Tobias,> Jake warns. <We’ll take over.>
<They just killed a sloth and her babies,> Tobias continues. <For nothing! Those murderers!>
Little do you know, Tobias, that sloth is also a murderer in a collapsed timeline! 
quote:
<Now, Tobias!> Jake shouts.
In another moment, you see a blur of brown feathers. Tobias drops onto a branch. <They’re killing everything that moves,> he says in disbelief.
<That is what the Yeerks are best at,> Ax says quietly. You leave Tobias behind and fly ahead.
You hear the Hork-Bajir before you see them. Dracon beams sizzle. The smell of burnt things fills the air. You hear the cries of what sounds like thousands of birds, fellow creatures trying to flee.
<Guys?> It’s Rachel, who has spurted ahead, her wings just a blur of motion. <I think I see something. Look down by that weird tree.>
<Gee, thanks, Rach, that really narrows it down,> Marco says.
<The one with the roots,> Rachel says impatiently. You look down. You see nothing. Just branches and leaves. But then the leaves move, and you see a person concealed behind them. He is holding a spear. And then you see another, and another.
You’ve found the tribe.
<They’re spying on the Hork-Bajir,> Cassie whispers. It’s funny how you sometimes feel a need to whisper, even though you’re talking in thought-speak.
<I have a plan,> Jake says. <Follow me and do what I do.>
He swoops down and lands on the shoulder of one of the tribe. They are men and boys, all with dark hair and alert dark eyes. They are wearing something that looks like a diaper made out of leaves.
You swoop down on another shoulder. Rachel folows. Then Cassie. Marco. Ax. Tobias flutters down and lands on a low branch.
The tribe does nothing. They don’t even move a muscle. But you see every pair of eyes turn to one man. He is either your age or your grandfather’s. It’s hard to tell.
<Cassie,> Jake says. <You morph.>
Cassie doesn’t even ask why. She flies to the center of the clearing.
You wonder why he’s chosen Cassie. But as Cassie begins to morph, you understand. Cassie can control her morph so that she changes gracefully. She isn’t scary. She’s beautiful.
She retains her bright feathers as she grows. She changes her face first, so at first she’s a birdgirl. Her tail retracts, but her feathered wings still flutter. Slowly her feathers turn into smooth skin, starting with her feet and slowly moving up her body.
Again, the tribe doesn’t move. They don’t raise their spears.
“Espírito,” the leader says.
<He called her a spirit,> Marco translates.
<Cassie, nod,> Jake directs.
Cassie nods. She holds out her arms as though she is gathering the tribe to her. It is a welcoming gesture. You realize she is telling them not to be afraid.
<Now draw a Hork-Bajir with a stick,> Jake tells her.
Cassie bends over and draws the Hork-Bajir in the dust. It’s not a great drawing, but the Hork-Bajir are pretty distinctive.
“Diablo,” the leader says.
<Devil,> Marco says.
Cassie nods.
<Now draw the Blade ship,> Jake directs. <They need to understand that we have to get aboard.>
Cassie draws the Blade ship. She points to herself and the ship. Then she points to the leader and stabs the Hork-Bajir with her stick.
The leader grins. He throws his spear.
<Cassie!> Rachel cries.
But the spear just misses Cassie and lands at her feet. Straight into the center of the Hork-Bajir drawing.
Cassie smiles. The leader smiles.
You all say CA-CA-CA-Err-EPP-Err-EPP!
Cassie needs time to recover from her morph, so you all rest in human form. With a combination of signs and pointing, Cassie has arranged to meet up with the tribe again just as dusk falls.
Your parrot morph was successful. You met up with the tribe and escaped the notice of the Hork-Bajir. But you need another morph to sneak aboard the Blade ship.
Not sure why this isolated uncontacted Amazonian tribe is speaking Portuguese, but whatever we’re already curbing from a book with one of the most spaghettified logic lines in the series, so we’ll roll with it.
To get aboard the Blade Ship we now had three all-new morph choices ahead of us:
- A chameleon
- A poison-arrow frog
- A jaguar
Stealth, skill, or strength. What’s the plan?
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Apr 26, 2023 02:42
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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I’ve seen enough. Frog it is then.
The First Journey – Chapter 26
quote:
The poison-arrow frogs are a good cover. With your powerful hind legs, you leap through the rain forest to the site of the Blade ship. You lurk underneath a bush, waiting for Tobias’s signal.
<They’ve started fighting,> Tobias says. <Where are you? I can’t see you.>
<To the right of the Blade ship,> you say.
<Underneath that bush with the pointy leaves,> Cassie adds.
<I still can’t see you. And I can’t find Visser Three. He could be in a new morph,> Tobias says.
<Watch,> you say. You hop out a few feet into the clearing.
<Okay, got you,> Tobias says. <You’d better circle to the other side. There’s Hork-Bajir in your vicinity.>
You hop back. Together with the others, you make your way around the ship. Around you, you can hear the Hork-Bajir crashing through the rain forest. Every so often, you hear the sizzle of Dracon beams.
It begins to rain. You’re thirsty, and your frog brain clamors for water. You hop forward and stick out your tongue. The water feels cool. You swallow gratefully.
<The rain feels good,> you say.
<What rain?> Tobias asks.
A brownsh-greenish creature suddenly detaches itself from a tree. It appears to have no bones. But at the end of its five arms are sprinklerlike holes. They are spraying you with water.
<It is a B’heeon!> Ax cries. <Look out for its ->
A three-foot-wide, sticky pink tongue suddenly shoots out of the creature’s mouth. It laps you up like cream. You thrash about, but you can’t escape as the tongue shoots you backward into the waiting mouth.
<Frog’s legs. Delicious,> Visser Three says.
And SLURP - you’re finished.
Visser Three’s exquisite and cultured taste strikes again. Oh well, You might be dead now, but at least with their sacrifice this is now the timeline where Visser Three dies an agonizingly slow death from ingesting an entire poisonous frog whole like a loving idiot.
Rest in power, drug frog morph. You were the hero we needed at the time we needed you 
What other lovely way to you want this poor child to die next?
- A chameleon
A poison-arrow frog
- A jaguar
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Apr 26, 2023 18:37
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- QuickbreathFinisher
- Sep 28, 2008
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by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
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guns blazing. they go hyena jaguar
e:
Well that was, uh, something. 
I guess we try Chameleon* next?
* - By which I’m guessing they mean something in the Anole family. I think calling them “Chameleons” is a regional thing?
it's referring to these, I had never heard of that being a regional term!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chameleon
they're slow, pretty large, and probably worse at stealth than the animorphs might think. iirc their color changes tend to be more linked to emotional state, although that could just be in captivity. they're no mimic octopus though, that's for sure.
QuickbreathFinisher fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Apr 27, 2023
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Apr 27, 2023 01:26
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- Rahonavis
- Jan 11, 2012
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"Clevuh gurrrl..."
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guns blazing. they go hyena jaguar
e:
it's referring to these, I had never heard of that being a regional term!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chameleon
they're slow, pretty large, and probably worse at stealth than the animorphs might think. iirc their color changes tend to be more linked to emotional state, although that could just be in captivity. they're no mimic octopus though, that's for sure.
Yeah I know; I mentioned this the first time we had to choose.
Real Actual Biological Chameleons aren’t found in the Amazon. But Anoles, which are in the Iguana family, are native to the Americas. The Green Anole, native to North America, was often sold as a “Chameleon” in pet stores since they can change color. A little.
They also look and act more like Day Geckos (also unrelated; convergent evolution is fun) and are pretty darn cute:
Seems an Anole was probably the model for the generic lizard Jake turns into way back on the cover of the first book.
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Apr 27, 2023 04:16
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND I loving DIE BECAUSE THE THREAD KEEPS CHOOSING BAD MORPHS
The First Journey – Chapter 27
quote:
The jaguar owns the rain forest. You realize this as you take control of the morph. You feel the power of your coiled muscles, ready to spring. Your gaze can pick out details in the darkest shadow.
You spy the tiniest beetle and the sloth hanging above you and the parrot in the tree.
They don’t concern you. When you are hungry, you kill to eat. It is the way of the forest. You have power and control and grace and mobility and will.
<I feel pretty supreme,> Marco says. <I mean, I’m a pretty supreme human. But as a jaguar, I’m incredible.>
<The forest is incredible,> Cassie says softly. <It’s layered with life.>
You know what she means. From the dirt underneath your pads to the tiniest branches overhead, the rain forest teems with life.
<How can the Hork-Bajir just slash and burn this place?> Rachel asks. <It’s so incredible.>
<That is why we must stop them,> Ax says. <Wait.>
You pause. Your ears have picked up the same sounds.
<To the right,> Jake says.
<No,> Ax says. <We are surrounded.>
The Hork-Bajir have fanned out in the forest. They have made a pincer movement, and you have fallen into the trap.
Dracon beams explode around you. One of the Hork-Bajir swipes at Cassie, and she snarls and jumps at them. Rachel isn’t far behind.
You spring at the neck of a Hork-Bajir, and it goes down. You swipe at another with your claws and teeth and all the power of the jaguar, but there are more of them than you.
<Fall back!> Jake cries. <The tribe must be behind us somewhere. They’ll help!>
You leap onto a tree in order to hurl yourself on a Hork-Bajir. You climb up the vines, your paws digging in. but then the vines move. They surround you.
It is Visser Three in Lerdethak morph. He squeezes you. You feel your lungs collapsing. You feel something deep within you burst.
<Jake,> you call weakly.
Jake turns. You look into yellow jaguar eyes that suddenly seem human to you. They are full of sorrow.
And you know it’s too late.
I swear to God, these last few death runs have been the most competent and deadly that Visser Three has ever been in this series. Why is it always You that has to die? Why can’t You choosing the wrong morph result like someone like Rachel accidentally dying?
...Too soon?
Anyway, because you hosed up twice, you have lost your voting privileges, mainly because we only have one option left, so if this one ALSO ends in a death, then, well… hallelujah, I don’t have to LP any more of this book 
Our options now are:
- A chameleon
A poison-arrow frog
A jaguar
Oh and this chapter has the audacity to quote Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade at you by having its death flavor text be “You choose… poorly.”
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Apr 28, 2023 17:13
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- nine-gear crow
- Aug 10, 2013
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I am sick of this book and I want it to end. Let’s get this over with.
The First Journey – Chapter 21
quote:
First, your skin turns green.
“Are we Martians or reptiles?” Marco is just able to get out before he is unable to speak. The rest of his complaint sounds like ack ack.
<I love this tail!> Cassie thought-speaks.
You know what she means. A chameleon’s tail is almost like a monkey’s - curled and strong. You roll your eyes. One goes left, the other right. You can get a 180-degree view without turning your head.
You follow behind the others as you make your way to the perimeter of the landing site.
<Okay, remember, when you see Visser Three in the window of the Blade ship, it’s only a decoy,> Jake says. <That’s what he did in the last Sario Rip. So all we have to do is come to the ship from behind. And meanwhile, the tribe will cover us with a diversion.>
<If all goes as planned,> you say.
<Which it never does,> Marco adds.
<The tribe is in place,> Tobias tells you. <Visser Three is in Lerdethak mode. I can see the vines moving.>
Jake has told you about Visser Three’s morph. The Lerdethak is as tall as a tree. It has hundreds of vinelike tentacles. They can strike like whips and squeeze all the breath out of you. Then the Lerdethak can just pop you in its cavernous mouth like Good and Plenty.
It’s an experience you’re happy to skip.
<It’s dusk,> Cassie observes. <Time for the tribe to attack.>
Your coloring protects you as you scurry along the floor. You belong to the forest, are part of the forest. You can hear the sound of Hork-Bajir in forest. You can hear the sound of Hork-Bajir in the distance, but you are quick and agile and unafraid. You let the chameleon’s instincts take over.
Because if you let your human mind start to think, it will fill up with fear. You are running toward Visser Three. Not away from him.
<The tribe is attacking!> Tobias, the lookout, tells you. <They keep melting back into the forest. The Hork-Bajir are going crazy.>
<Get onto the Blade ship, Tobias,> Jake urges while he runs. <Do it!>
You are running flat out now. A chameleon can’t run very fast, not as fast as a jaguar, but you reach the burned-out clearing. The Blade ship looms ahead.
Jake goes first. Then Rachel. One by one, moving as fast as you dare, but keeping to the dark green shadows, you approach the huge, black ship. The gangway is down. You all scamper up it, then keep to the side walls of the ship.
<Tobias?> Jake asks.
<I’m here. Up high, in the rafters.> You roll your eyes up. You can just barely make out Tobias.
<You’re all changing color,> Tobias observes. <You’re getting darker.>
<May I make a suggestion, Prince Jake?> Ax says. <Perhaps we should scatter. One chameleon might have wandered aboard, but not six.>
<Good point,> Jake agrees. <Let’s find separate positions. We have to wait until the ship goes back to the same space position and fires its rockets. Then we should land back in our own time.>
<What about Visser Three?> Ax asks.
<When do we destroy him?> Rachel asks. <Shouldn’t we pick a place to hide where we can morph into something really dangerous? We can take him by surprise.>
Jake hesitates.
<Wasn’t that the plan?> Rachel asks urgently.
<I’m not sure now,> Jake says. <It might be too dangerous. Maybe we should just let Visser Three blast us back to our own time.>
<But we’ll lose our chance!> Rachel argues.
<I’m with Jake,> Marco says. <If we live, we can come back and fight another day.>
<I’ll go with whatever you all decide,> Cassie says.
<If I can get a word in,> Tobias says. <This ship is constantly patrolled. And the bridge is full of Taxxons. We might be able to take down Visser Three if we’re incredibly lucky. But that doesn’t mean we’ll survive.>
<Ax?> Jake asks.
<Visser Three killed my brother. He is my sworn enemy,> Ax says. <I will meet with him someday. It may not be today. I will follow your decision, Prince Jake.>
<I wish you didn’t say that,> Jake groans.
<It’s this Sario Rip that’s complicating things,> you say. <We don’t know if we’ll make it back.
We don’t know if we’re part of someone’s memory. If we kill Visser Three now, in this time, what happens to us in real time?>
<This is way too confusing,> Cassie sighs.
<I need a nap,> Marco says. <And I haven’t said that since I was three years old.>
<Let’s hide,> Jake says finally. <We still have time to decide. Time is running out for Visser Three. He can’t afford to chase that tribe around the forest any longer.>
The six of you melt behind a console. You space yourselves apart, but within thought-speaking distance.
<Leave them!> A terrible voice invades your head. If you had hands, you’d put them over your ears. When Visser Three talks in thought-speak, it feels as though your whole brain shudders.
<Leave them behind,> Visser Three continues. He is back in Andalite morph. <It is not the punishment those Andalites deserve, but it will have to be enough.>
Visser Three places himself in one of the chairs on the bridge. <Now take off, you worthless
slime,> he says to the Taxxon captain.
A message crackles over the communication system. “Bug fighter ready for takeoff.”
<So take off, fool!> Visser Three roars in thought-speak.
You can feel the great ship rise, but you can’t see anything. You feel a burst of optimism. It feels like the first step toward home.
<Ax, keep track of the time for us,> Jake advises in private thought-speak.
<I will, Prince Jake,> Ax says. <But there is no telling where Visser Three will order the double blast. The Bug fighter and the Blade ship have to intersect those Dracon beams. Perhaps they have already agreed on a coordinate. There is no way of knowing.>
<Which means,> Rachel says, <that if we do want to attack Visser Three, we’d better do it soon.>
<All right,> Jake says. <Maybe we should->
He is cut off by he bleating of Visser Three shouting <Now!>
The blast rocks you.
FLASH!
You’re in the front quad outside school. You’re wearing a sweater you haven’t worn since last year. Ahead of you is the bus stop. You see Patrolman Teeter directing traffic. He retired last summer.
You turn. Rachel is back on the steps of school. Her hair is a good four inches shorter. She touches it, frowning.
She wore it that way last year. You’ve gone back in time like you should have. But you’ve overshot your time.
You’re a year too early!
Well poo poo.
The First Journey – Chapter 22
quote:
“What’s going on?” you say. This isn’t a flashback. It’s going on too long. But it doesn’t feel real, either.
“Oh, man,” Marco says. “Does this mean I have to go through homeroom with Ms. Pedalowski again?”
“Something’s wrong,” you say.
Just then, a car pulls up to the curb. A window slides down. Marco’s mother waves at him.
“Hi, honey! Thought I’d give you a ride.”
Next to you, Marco has gone completely still. His mother is dead. That’s what everyone thinks, anyway. Only you, Jake, and Ax know that Marco’s mother was taken over by the Yeerks. She is Visser Three’s rival, Visser One.
Marco takes a step forward. He moves stiffly, like he’s frozen. You can see tears in his eyes. His mom is so alive! A breeze lifts her heavy dark hair. Her hand rests on the open window. Her wedding ring glints in the sun.
“Come on, slowpoke!” she teases. “Have you got lead in your shoes?”
“Mom,” Marco whispers.
Marco’s mom swings the door open and steps out onto the curb. It is as though everything is in slow motion. You are shocked to see her alive and warm and happy.
So it takes you longer than it should to see the pit bull. It runs across the grass toward her.
Then you hear the voice that haunts your nightmares. <I will end it here!>
“Marco!” you cry. “It’s Visser Three!”
Marco starts to run. But you know in a split second that you can’t fight this dog. Not as a human, anyway. He is too far away. You have only seconds you have to try a morph.
So this went from 0 to 1,000 in like three seconds. What the gently caress is happening here? 
Good news though! This is our LAST Decision Point of the book. One more morph and we’re done and ready to move on to Book 2. I bet you’re all happy to put this one to bed, am I right?
Once again, we have three options, and they’re the old classics because blah blah blah Sario Rip, the parrot and chameleon are unusable now thanks to Time Bullshit. Our final choices are:
- The hyena
- The K9 German shepherd
- The giraffe
One last ride.
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Apr 29, 2023 06:18
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- gourdcaptain
- Nov 16, 2012
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I believe in the giraffe, sure it seems useless, but that just means it'll come in clutch at the last second.
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Apr 29, 2023 07:13
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 23, 2024 13:44
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Apr 22, 2023 16:46
