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Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

Rofl

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euphronius
Feb 18, 2009



Edit

Not that’s Saruman I guess my bad

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Is it written anywhere how long Elf adolescence lasts? Do they grow up into adult form on a human scale and then cease to grow or are they more akin to Hobbits who still have their tweens in their thirties?

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

Arc Hammer posted:

Is it written anywhere how long Elf adolescence lasts? Do they grow up into adult form on a human scale and then cease to grow or are they more akin to Hobbits who still have their tweens in their thirties?

IIRC it’s discussed in Laws and Customs, let me see if I can find

Yeah here we go, right at the start. tldr: like hobbits, but more so

quote:

The Eldar grew in bodily form slower than Men, but in mind more swiftly. They learned to speak before they were one year old; and in the same time they learned to walk and to dance, for their wills came soon to the mastery of their bodies. Nonetheless there was less difference between the two Kindreds, Elves and Men, in early youth; and a man who watched elf-children at play might well have believed that they were the children of Men, of some fair and happy people. For in their early days elf-children delighted still in the world about them, and the fire of their spirit had not consumed them, and the burden of memory was still light upon them.

This same watcher might indeed have wondered at the small limbs and stature of these children, judging their age by their skill in words and grace in motion. For at the end of the third year mortal children began to outstrip the Elves, hastening on to a full stature while the Elves lingered in the first spring of childhood. Children of Men might reach their full height while Eldar of the same age were still in body like to mortals of no more than seven years. Not until the fiftieth year did the Eldar attain the stature and shape in which their lives would afterwards endure, and for some a hundred years would pass before they were full-grown.

If I happen to encounter a bunch of precocious elven infants I think I’m gonna be less wondering than freaking the gently caress out. Or imagine the 99 year old elf manchild.

Our narrator (Aelfwine maybe?) goes on to talk about how they tended to marry young (age 50+). But then again all the elves we meet are millennia old virgins if/when they get hitched 🤔

skasion fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Apr 19, 2023

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Jumping the gun on the quote but as I recall, they grow to adulthood roughly at the same rate as humans do, but they can dance at like age 1

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
The Nature of Middle-Earth is a recent publication which collects all the random little non-narrative musings Tolkien wrote on things like elven aging, how they calculated time in the age of the trees, and stuff like that. It's all kind of boring and I couldn't get through it, but I did get far enough to know the answer to this question.

quote:

They reach maturity at about the age of 20, and remained in full physical vigour till about the age of 60, after which the fea and its interests began to assume command. After about the age of 90-96 one of the Quendi had reached a stage similar to that of a vigorous and hale Mortal of high age and wisdom. The normal period, therefore, for marriage and the begetting and bearing of children and their nurture (which were one of the greatest delights of the Quendi in Arda), was between about the ages of 20 and 60.

So the short answer is that elves aged about the same way as humans right up until old age would start to take its toll, after which point, instead of suffering physical deterioration, their spirits/souls start becoming more and more dominant over the body and they become less and less interesting in sex and having children (which was the answer to why elves had normal numbers of kids). Tolkien also notes that these numbers vary from individual from individual, except the first one: Elves are fully grown by 20, the numbers of 60 and 90 might vary.

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
A 1 year old elf dancing sure would be a sight.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





SHISHKABOB posted:

A 1 year old elf dancing sure would be a sight.

Just add elf ears to the dancing baby gif.

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Thanks for the answers. Even when The Silmarillion gets more specific with its timeframes it can still be daunting and it isn't helped when I'm wondering if Elrond and Elros at the third kinslaying are actually 50 year olds in children's bodies

Flakey
Apr 30, 2009

There's no need to speak. You must only concentrate and recall all your past life. When a man thinks of the past, he becomes kinder.
In Children of Húrin at least, Túrin and Nellas are childhood friends, but Túrin becomes an adult while Nellas remains a child.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Something I've always wondered about :

One of the first jokes in Bored of the Rings (and a repeated one) is about how Tolkien apparently pronounced "alarm" as "alarum".

quote:

Though we cannot with complete candor state, as does Professor T., that ''the tale grew in the telling'', we can allow that this tale (or rather the necessity of hawking it at a bean a copy) grew in direct proportion to the ominous dwindling of our bank accounts at the Harvard Trust in Cambridge, Massachusetts. This loss of turgor in our already emaciated portfolio was not, in itself, cause for alarm (or ''alarum'' as Professor T. might aptly put it), but the resultant threats and cuffed ears received at the hands of creditors were. Thinking long on this, we retired to the reading lounge of our club to meditate on this vicissitude.

What's the basis of this joke? I realize "alarum" is an archaic variant of the word, but was JRRT a public figure known for going on talk shows and pronouncing it that way to the consternation of American viewers or something? Did he use that spelling in writings I'm not aware of but those wacky Harvard kids knew about?

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
I think it's just that it's the archaic version.

Bored of the Rings is brilliant but you can rarely accuse it of going for the deep cut joke. Dildo Bugger, etc.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
I think the joke is probably just that Tolkien was an old-school kind of guy, so he might prefer archaic spellings and pronunciations?

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

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I mean, maybe? But if so it seems weird that they would pick on a word/spelling that appears nowhere in his writing that I’ve seen (“alarm” shows up a ton of times in LotR), rather than poking fun at his actual odd turns of phrase and spellings like “O!” or the dozens of archaic vocabulary words like oast and garner

Data Graham fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Apr 20, 2023

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
“Alarum” makes me think of like, Lewis Carroll before Tolkien

Mike N Eich
Jan 27, 2007

This might just be the year
Continuing my read of LOTR, I’m sad because my estimation of Jackson’s trilogy keeps falling the more I re-read the books. Still think they’re fabulous adaptations with all their faults but there are bits that really stray from the material for the worse. Just read the Voice of Saruman chapter and man… it is a shame that the theatrical editions just…ignore Saruman but it’s honestly better than the extended edition scene. Jackson lifts much of the dialogue from the book but the context is totally different. Tolkien really makes Saruman seem like a seductive character, and it’s a real struggle for the party to refuse him. In the film, Christopher Lee just impotently insults them until Wormtongue kills him and he falls on that weird big spike thing. Those kind of gratuitously violent deaths clash with the rest of the tone (Denethor gets one as well).

Also forgot that Theoden basically routs the Isengard army before even Erkenbrand or the Hurons arrive, they just ensure the orcs are annihilated. A very different meaning to the battle.

Can’t get enough of Gimli waxing poetic about the caves at Helm’s Deep - like 3 pages about how beautiful and awesome they are to Legolas. That’s that good Tolkien poo poo.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



On that note, Corey Olsen is covering this part of The Ring Goes South at present, and I had to burst out laughing at Legolas here, remembering how perfunctory the handling of this whole bit is in the movie:

quote:

Aragorn was the tallest of the Company, but Boromir, little less in height, was broader and heavier in build. He led the way,
and Aragorn followed him. Slowly they moved off, and were soon toiling heavily. In places the snow was breast-high, and often
Boromir seemed to be swimming or burrowing with his great arms rather than walking.

Legolas watched them for a while with a smile upon his lips, and then he turned to the others. ‘The strongest must seek a
way, say you? But I say: let a ploughman plough, but choose an otter for swimming, and for running light over grass and leaf,
or over snow – an Elf.’

With that he sprang forth nimbly, and then Frodo noticed as if for the first time, though he had long known it, that the Elf
had no boots, but wore only light shoes, as he always did, and his feet made little imprint in the snow.

‘Farewell!’ he said to Gandalf. ‘I go to find the Sun!’ Then swift as a runner over firm sand he shot away, and quickly overtaking
the toiling men, with a wave of his hand he passed them, and sped into the distance, and vanished round the rocky turn.


The others waited huddled together, watching until Boromir and Aragorn dwindled into black specks in the whiteness. At length
they too passed from sight. The time dragged on. The clouds lowered, and now a few flakes of snow came curling down again.

An hour, maybe, went by, though it seemed far longer, and then at last they saw Legolas coming back. At the same time Boromir
and Aragorn reappeared round the bend far behind him and came labouring up the slope.

‘Well,’ cried Legolas as he ran up, ‘I have not brought the Sun. She is walking in the blue fields of the South, and a little
wreath of snow on this Redhorn hillock troubles her not at all. But I have brought back a gleam of good hope for those who
are doomed to go on feet. There is the greatest wind-drift of all just beyond the turn, and there our Strong Men were almost
buried. They despaired, until I returned and told them that the drift was little wider than a wall. And on the other side
the snow suddenly grows less, while further down it is no more than a white coverlet to cool a hobbit’s toes.'

Just the whole "LOL BYEEE" framing of Legolas dashing off while Boromir and Aragorn are killing themselves wading down a slope in 4-foot snow. But then even beyond that point, what really struck me is how the details of how the snow works all fit together so visually, for anyone who's ever shoveled snow after a blizzard; it's gruelling, exhausting, bone-soaking work, and you can just imagine what it must have been like for them to run up against that ten-foot drift and have no idea how thick it is—they'd have just flopped down in it exhausted and lay there in despair and hypothermia for an hour until Legolas came back and told them they only had to push through another few inches. Tolkien had obviously done his share of shoveling in his time.

The crazy thing is, all this takes place off-screen in the book! Almost literally—it's all happening just around the bend and out of sight, so not even the other characters can see them or have any idea what's going on. And yet you can imagine either a text treatment or a movie deciding to put that whole snow-shoveling sequence up front and center, making a big visual spectacle out of it, really immersing you directly in the wetness and cold and exhaustion, making you feel the despair, having Legolas suddenly poke his head up cheerfully over the edge and ask what the hell you think you're doing resting when you only have to push another armload of snow out of the way and you're out. But this all gets told to us third-hand, after the fact! It's so weird that it's done that way.

And yet all the details we do get—and all the details we can infer from those, like about what it's like to ferry Pippin and Merry back down hanging from their shoulders while they shove more snow aside, or how tired and cold and wet they are, what kind of inadequate gloves and boots they must have on, how it all must have contributed to their feeling utterly spent and defeated when they ran up against the big drift... it's all perfectly consistent and vivid in the imagination. Yet this text is incredibly sparse.

I know Tolkien famously would write way more in the first draft than he ended up keeping (Gandalf's initial rejoinder to Legolas suggesting that he could burn his way out of the snow with his staff was "why don't I just light YOU on fire and use you as a torch"), but it almost feels like this whole scene is a deliberate study in showing us as little as possible about one of the most graphic and visual scenes we'd ever yet seen described in the story, purely (presumably) to heighten the sense of unknowing, the whole atmosphere of misery and trepidation among the hobbits and Gandalf and Gimli who are left alone up under the snowy ledge, just waiting, with nothing else they can possibly do.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Tolkien is a genuinely weird writer by any modern "how to write well" professional standard. Eppur, si muove.

Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Mike N Eich posted:

Continuing my read of LOTR, I’m sad because my estimation of Jackson’s trilogy keeps falling the more I re-read the books. Still think they’re fabulous adaptations with all their faults but there are bits that really stray from the material for the worse. Just read the Voice of Saruman chapter and man… it is a shame that the theatrical editions just…ignore Saruman but it’s honestly better than the extended edition scene. Jackson lifts much of the dialogue from the book but the context is totally different. Tolkien really makes Saruman seem like a seductive character, and it’s a real struggle for the party to refuse him. In the film, Christopher Lee just impotently insults them until Wormtongue kills him and he falls on that weird big spike thing. Those kind of gratuitously violent deaths clash with the rest of the tone (Denethor gets one as well).

Yeah, Saruman (like Faramir and Denethor) gets done dirty by the adaptation as this "yes master"-ing lackey of Sauron rather than someone who's huffed enough of his own farts to think he's in with a chance of managing Sauron. His sheer mindboggling hubris gets completely lost along with his charm.

I can see why they were all simplified, movie-plot-wise, but.. it would have been nice to have a bit more nuance, maybe?

keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!
The faramir changes still get me mad to this day. That and making Aragorn a reluctant leader, like the dude knows who he is in the book, he's all action.

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
I like how a lot of times in lotr its characters telling stories to each other. Which is of course what the book is. So it's kinda wrapped up in layers that way.

And to be fair to the forth eorlingas scene in the movie they do frame it as suicidal. I never got the impression they were fully routing the orcs. Just look at how many are waiting for Gandalf and Co.

Mike N Eich
Jan 27, 2007

This might just be the year
A lot of the huge dramatic moments in the books are told to the reader by characters telling each other about it. We don't "see" the Ents destroying Isengard, but we get the whole story from Merry and Pippin. And it still is dramatic and riveting.

Sorry, wasn't clear on Theoden's cavalry charge - I was referring to how it is portrayed in the book, which presents it as a successful military maneuver and not a suicidal charge

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Movie theodan is really good. Can’t complain. Although now I can’t remember what we’re extended edition scenes

Kaysette
Jan 5, 2009

~*Boston makes me*~
~*feel good*~

:wrongcity:

keep punching joe posted:

The faramir changes still get me mad to this day. That and making Aragorn a reluctant leader, like the dude knows who he is in the book, he's all action.

Movie Faramir and Denethor are just awful, such a bummer because I love them both in the books. I like the ride of the Rohirrim in the movies but the scene in the books where Eomer thinks Eowyn is dead sends shivers down my spine:

quote:

...he looked at the slain, recalling their names. Then suddenly he beheld
his sister Eowyn as she lay, and he knew her. He stood a moment
as a man who is pierced in the midst of a cry by an arrow through
the heart; and then his face went deathly white, and a cold fury rose
in him, so that all speech failed him for a while. A fey mood took him.

‘Eowyn, Eowyn!’ he cried at last. ‘Eowyn, how come you here? What
madness or devilry is this? Death, death, death! Death take us all!’
Then without taking counsel or waiting for the approach of the
men of the City, he spurred headlong back to the front of the great
host, and blew a horn, and cried aloud for the onset. Over the field
rang his clear voice calling:

‘Death! Ride, ride to ruin and the world’s ending!’

And with that the host began to move. But the Rohirrim sang no
more. Death they cried with one voice loud and terrible, and gathering
speed like a great tide their battle swept about their fallen king and
passed, roaring away southwards.

Kaysette fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Apr 27, 2023

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?

euphronius posted:

Movie theodan is really good. Can’t complain. Although now I can’t remember what we’re extended edition scenes

Movie Theoden is pretty much perfect and Bernard Hill is a severely underrated actor.

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

Data Graham posted:

it almost feels like this whole scene is a deliberate study in showing us as little as possible about one of the most graphic and visual scenes we'd ever yet seen described in the story, purely (presumably) to heighten the sense of unknowing, the whole atmosphere of misery and trepidation among the hobbits and Gandalf and Gimli who are left alone up under the snowy ledge, just waiting, with nothing else they can possibly do.

Mike N Eich posted:

A lot of the huge dramatic moments in the books are told to the reader by characters telling each other about it. We don't "see" the Ents destroying Isengard, but we get the whole story from Merry and Pippin. And it still is dramatic and riveting.

"Show not tell" became a writing-advice catchphrase for a reason, but making it a catchphrase masks that sometimes things are better when told to you than if you see them yourself. Tolkien's war service meant that he knew what it was like for big things to be going on around him while all he could do was wait for them to be finished; and he also knew the special power of hearing about things that had happened elsewhere from a good storyteller (like Rob Gilson and Geoffrey Smith).

Blood Boils
Dec 27, 2006

Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS
PJ's movies would definitely annoy me more if they were the only adaptations out there

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Agreed, the world is better for having the LSD addled Gandalf from the Bakshi film.

Mike N Eich
Jan 27, 2007

This might just be the year

Arc Hammer posted:

Movie Theoden is pretty much perfect and Bernard Hill is a severely underrated actor.

He really is amazing. I rewatched TTT recently and his monologue at this son's grave brought me to tears. Dude just oozes pathos and quiet resolve.

The Howard Shore track for the Ride of the Rohirrim at Pelennor Fields is also just like, one of my favorite pieces in a movie, it makes you want to jump out of your seat and throw a spear at an Oliphaunt

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Yeah I think that is an added scene. Should have been in the original

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Nah its in the theatrical cut. The extended cut only adds the part where Eowyn sings a lament as they're burying Theodred. Theoden's grief was in both cuts.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
That lament is seriously powerful stuff, honestly

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Oh right it was the lament that was added.

The movies are 20 years old now or older and still hold up. They are remarkable

Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

As much as I dislike a few parts of them, the good parts are so good that I can't help loving the PJ movies.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Winifred Madgers posted:

As much as I dislike a few parts of them, the good parts are so good that I can't help loving the PJ movies.

Its like 4-5 minor parts that suck and the rest is the best adaptation we are ever going to get because it was a labor of love for a bunch of those involved.

The LOTR tv show is exactly the kind of soulless crap we are going to get where a few people knew the material and were overshadowed by idiots. Like yeah it's dope that the Dragon Helm of Dor-Lomin shows up or a sweet intro that is a reference to the Music, but those people clearly were not allowed in the writer's room.

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)
Whenever Jackson faltered, Howard Shore swooped in to rescue the moment.

Much like Star Wars, I think the LOTR trilogy is made by the soundtrack. In my relatively uninformed opinion I feel like it's the only part that Tolkien would've unreservedly loved

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Okay but how would Tolkien feel about Blind Guardian?

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Arc Hammer posted:

Okay but how would Tolkien feel about Blind Guardian?

The same way any human being feels about Blind Guardian - totally stoked

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
far more importantly, how would he feel about Finrod the rock opera

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Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Surely that would be Finrock, wouldn't it?

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