rkd_ posted:

Yeah but also what is she doing at 22 working just two days a week for five hours each day? I’m sure the parents are just worried she’s sleeping in every day, not finding a job or education and just wasting every day away.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

AITA for disagreeing with my dad and step mum wake up time rule?

rkd_ posted:

Yeah but also what is she doing at 22 working just two days a week for five hours each day? I’m sure the parents are just worried she’s sleeping in every day, not finding a job or education and just wasting every day away.

quote:

My (17F) sister (24F) is getting married in the fall. When she and her fiance started planning things a few weeks ago, they said it was gonna be no kids. I didn't think anything of that at first, I assumed she meant like 13+ or something like that. That was weird though, because she never came to me about anything wedding related like she did with the rest of the family.

So last week, I asked her if she needed help with anything, and asked if she wanted me wearing a specific dress or something like that. She said no, why would I? I'm not going. She explained that no kids means no kids, no exceptions, so I'm too young by three months to attend.

I was really hurt by that, and told our parents. They didn't know I wasn't invited, so my dad told her either she lets me come or she's not getting their half of the money. She did invite me, but she made a big show of how she didn't want me there.

So I said screw it, don't bother. Since she doesn't want me there I won't be, she just shouldn't expect things to go back to normal after. We used to be really close, and we text a lot even after she moved out. Not anymore though, I blocked her on everything and I'm not speaking to her. IDK if our relationship can recover from this, but if we do it's gonna be up to her to fix it. My parents say I'm overreacting, but this really hurt me.

8one6 posted:

This story makes more sense if you assume 22F added 5 or 6 years to her age.

quote:

So for starters we all live together, myself my partner and our roommate, her sister.

I like her sister a lot, but she does struggle with adulting, forgetting when chores need to be done or mixing up scheduling times for the few life events she has going on like this time, when she scheduled her counselor appointment when we all agreed to go grocery shopping at that time.

The only issue that I have is that that’s happened 3 times in a row. I am responsible for creating the shopping list, since I am the only one that cooks. She has missed the last three trips for grocery shopping, which takes a good 3-4 hours since we go to a big box store, regular grocery store, and a select market for our culture.

The first few times I let it slide, but last night I told her off. I basically said that we can take two cars and she can meet us there or she can cancel her appointment. This erupted out of built up frustration, and so yeah, I did go over the line with how I said it. She also never asks to get us dinner but my partner (her sister) always feels bad and makes me order her some. She never does chores without being told to; and treats us like her parents for having to remind her.

So yeah, sue me. I should have communicated it sooner. But what i’m really curious about is if i was wrong to ask that of her in the first place? Should I not have wanted her to cancel the appointment? She’ll have to wait two weeks to go for that one again.

AITA?

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah my body seems to hate waking up any earlier than like 9am, which is unfortunate because I have a 9-5 job. I already have three different kinds of alarm, I think I need to start putting one in another room or something.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah my body seems to hate waking up any earlier than like 9am, which is unfortunate because I have a 9-5 job. I already have three different kinds of alarm, I think I need to start putting one in another room or something.

Bonster posted:

Have you considered a Rube Goldberg-esque type machine that tips the bed up and dunks you in a giant vat of ice water?

haveblue posted:

A spring-loaded murphy bed which will probably not ever malfunction and kill you

Bonster posted:

Have you considered a Rube Goldberg-esque type machine that tips the bed up and dunks you in a giant vat of ice water?

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Yes, Itah. But that's not important now.

haveblue posted:

A spring-loaded murphy bed which will probably not ever malfunction and kill you

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My father pulled this poo poo when I was still living with my parents and had a job working overnight at a grocery store. I'd be getting home at 5am and he'd lose his loving mind at the idea of me being asleep while he had to get ready to be in Manhattan by 9am.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah my body seems to hate waking up any earlier than like 9am, which is unfortunate because I have a 9-5 job. I already have three different kinds of alarm, I think I need to start putting one in another room or something.

e: Here's another weird one:

AITA for insisting my (m24) roommate (f26) skip their appointment and go grocery shopping with us?

No explanation for why all three of them need to go grocery shopping together or why it takes four hours.

DemoneeHo posted:

Good dad. Not really sure what the girlfriend was expecting. Did she want to be showered with praise and riches for outing a kid?

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah my body seems to hate waking up any earlier than like 9am, which is unfortunate because I have a 9-5 job. I already have three different kinds of alarm, I think I need to start putting one in another room or something.

e: Here's another weird one:

AITA for insisting my (m24) roommate (f26) skip their appointment and go grocery shopping with us?

No explanation for why all three of them need to go grocery shopping together or why it takes four hours.

quote:

I'm a 17 year old guy with two dads I call them Cole and James for the post. 9ish years into my parents relationship Cole was in a bad accident, broke multiple bones and suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury). He almost died. Nobody really knows how he survived. He and James had lived together for years and considered themselves married but could not legally marry in the state at the time. Even though Cole had James down as his emergency contact and the person to make decisions for him, Cole's parents heard about it, took James to court and won the right as his family to make those decisions. They kicked James out of the hospital, called the police on him for harassment because he left the room but went to the waiting area. They said since Cole would likely have lost most of his memories they could get him straightened out. Cole's siblings, all older than him, were on board and also made it clear to James that he was never going to see Cole again.

Cole woke up with 10 missing years of memory. His parents wanted to keep it that way. Which meant he made no progress for months. Doctors were concerned because they believed he could but he just didn't try. Cole's family didn't care. They were adamant Cole was better never improving and staying as he was then trying to see if James could help. Until one of Cole's cousins decided it was cruel and something should be done. It was when James came to see Cole that he started to find a will to do something. Cole always told me that his heart knew James where his brain didn't and he gave him the will to want to improve and his family did not. Cole had to insist his family be removed and James take over.

Eventually Cole improved enough to go home and then when he improved enough to get some independence back, they moved out to a state where they could legally marry. I came along a few years later. My parents were very honest with me about their past, about Cole's disabilities, about his family. I always knew they were not safe people. Cole's family wanted to know me because they believed I was biologically Cole's.

Cole's parents died within a day of each other a few weeks ago. His siblings reached out to tell Cole. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. Then they got in touch via social media and tried calling me via Messenger. I ignored it. They sent me a message saying my grandparents would have wanted me there and how I shouldn't ignore my loss. This is when I called the account messaging me and when one of them answered I said I lost no grandparents and as far as I was concerned it was good that the world had lost two more homophobes. Then I ended the call. I blocked them but another account was made and they accused me of being evil and said James had raised me to be evil and sick just like him. They also harassed Cole off social media and into taking out our landline (which we had because it is easiest sometimes for Cole to use still).

AITA?

quote:

In general sense, I know I am not the TA but I want an unbiased opinion from people in here. I (42F) have 3 sons Jamie (16M), Matt (12M) and Paul (10M) with my husband Charlie (45M). My middle son Matt is a little different from his brothers. His brothers like things that are typically meant for men like sports, gadgets, video games and so on. But Matt is different, he is not a big sports fan. He likes reading and painting. He doesn't mind doing things that are typically not for boys. Another thing about him is that he is passionate about food. He has been like this since he was 6. He would often come to the kitchen and see me cook and often times offer to help. Well I don't let him do heavy things like cutting or standing too close to the fire but he would be a helping hand. I call him Ramsey Jr (After Gordon Ramsey). Honestly, I like this arrangement because while I am doing all of the cooking my other boys are in their room. My husband on the other hand is not impressed by Matt. He is a proud father of three sons and often like to do stuffs with them like- teaching them how to play baseball, playing video games, wrestling, watching sports. But Matt is not interested in any of those things. He has said over and over again that those typical things they do doesn't interest him. My husband would still force him to do it because he thinks it is more important for him to do things that are more masculine with his brother because it creates a bond. I have tried several times to convince my husband that he lot let Matt go and let him do his thing. We eventually reached to a compromise that Matt will do sports and other stuff with them once a week so that he is in touch with his brothers and rest of the time he would do his own activities that he likes.

My husband also doesn't like that Matt would rather stay in the kitchen with me being my helping hand rather than with him and my other boys. He sometimes tries to criticize him by saying, he shouldn't be doing girly things or he will not get any girls in the future or he will be made fun off. The incident happened yesterday. I was in the kitchen preparing for lunch. My husband and sons were outside playing football. Paul and Jamie called Matt to come play with them but Matt was not interested. I told him he should go play with his brothers now while I do the meal prep and he can come back during the cooking process. Matt agreed. But he came to the kitchen after 10 minutes and started helping me. My husband was with the boys too. He called Matt several time but Matt didn't budge. I can see it irritated him. After the lunch, my husband was pissed and told me what I am doing to Matt is going to harm him in the future. I told him how is forcing him to do things he doesn't like would help him? He wasn't listening and kept saying things like he needs to be a man and stop doing girly things. And the way I am encouraging him cook and bake things like grandma he would get bullied in school and he doesn't want a son who is a sissy. I was shocked. I told him he needs to get his head out of his a$$ because cooking is gender neutral. There is nothing wrong with Matt wanting to cook.

My husband got mad and told me I am ruining my son's future. He doesn't want him to grow up weak and fragile and making him do "girly things" will make it worse. He needs to learn how to be a man like his dad and learn how to provide rather than take on feminine roles. And just because I couldn't get a daughter I should stop turning my son into a girl. This turned into a huge fight between him and me and now he is not talking to me. Matt is sad because he things he is the reason why his dad and I fought. I had to assure him that it was not his fault at all. So reddit, aita? Or should I just have told Matt to play with his brother and not come into the kitchen until the lunch is served?

Edit: I have read the comments. I just want to clear out any confusion. My other boys Jamie and Paul do have a good relationship with Matt. Yes they are different and would rather stay in their rooms and do their own thing but none of them have ever bullied Matt or made fun of him for liking things differently. Also, I am a homemaker for now but my husband does help me with some chores like- getting kids ready for school, driving them to school and other extra curriculum, folding the laundry, taking are of the lawn. So, it's not that I am totally helpless. The kitchen duty is 100% mine because my husband doesn't know or like to cook.

quote:

Hello everyone. I just wanted to say thank you for the comments. I know some of you called me a troll. I don't know why you think that. I just wanted some unbiased opinion. So anyways, I am here to update on the situation. My husband, Charlie was not letting it go. He insists Matt is wrong for wanting to cook with me. The argument between me and him never truly settled. So, few days ago, he decided to call his dad. He thought since his dad was in the military he would teach Matt some lesson. So, my FIL came to our house. We chatted and talked. Charlie brought up the "issue" with Matt. He just talked about everything starting from his passion for cooking and not being interested in other masculine stuff. FIL was quiet and thought about it. Matt looked scared because FIL looks like a scary guy. FIL told the kids to go to their room because he wants to have a chat with hubby and I. After we were alone, I was expecting FIL blame me but instead he blamed my husband. He said he is really embarrassed of my husband for having such backward thinking. He knows that when FIL was in the military he had to do all his chores and sometimes have to cook. He just loaded on my husband that he is teaching the wrong lesson to Matt. That cooking is a good skill and it will help in real life. Watching sports and video games will not teach him anything valuable. There is more. I cannot write all of it but my husband looked really defeated. He tried to argue that Matt needs to do tough things but FIL shut that down by saying he has the nerve to say cooking is easy when he probably can't boil water. Honestly, it was funny to watch my husband being berated by his dad like a kid.

FIL then called the boys to the room and told us to give them privacy. We were outside, I was looking at my boys through the slit of the door. Matt looks relaxed but the heads of Jamie and Paul was down. Long story short, FIL told my boy to not bother Matt anymore. He also instructed that my boys help me in the kitchen once a week to learn how to manage home. He also told Matt to not be scared and do whatever he likes. I am glad Charlie brought him to our house even if his plans backfired. I thought after FIL left there will be peace. My husband would be normal and understand but he was sulking and moping around. I asked him continuously what happened, he didn't answer at first. But then after a lot of pushing and pestering he did. He said that the reason why he didn't want Matt to do "feminine" things is because he (my husband) was bullied for that when he was in school. I knew he had to deal with bullies but he never told me why he bullied them. This is my first time hearing this story. He said when he was about Matt's age he would also be in the kitchen with his mom because he liked watching her cook. And they lived in a joint family so his uncles and aunts would also live in the house (like encanto). He would often get bullied by his cousins because he spent more time in the kitchen. He also admitted that he had an interest in knitting but had to stop because he once heard his then crush say that it makes him gay. So he also got bullied for knitting.

I was angry at him but now I just pity him. I had to explain the situation to him that we do not live in the past and a lot of things have changed. And that he shouldn't have to give up what he likes because people are stupid around him. There was a lot of conversation about past and present and also about him being comfortable with this situation as a whole. He told me that he will not pressure Matt anymore. He realized that in order for his kid not to get bullied, he became his own kid's bully. Things are fine now. Today all of the boys (including my husband) helped me in the kitchen. For the first time I felt a little relieved by it. Also to those people who told me to leave my husband, why? He is a good guy. I know he holds some backward views but he is nice and caring. I understand he has insecurities but they are not worth having a divorce. Things are fine now and if it goes bad I know what to do.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah my body seems to hate waking up any earlier than like 9am, which is unfortunate because I have a 9-5 job. I already have three different kinds of alarm, I think I need to start putting one in another room or something.

e: Here's another weird one:

AITA for insisting my (m24) roommate (f26) skip their appointment and go grocery shopping with us?

No explanation for why all three of them need to go grocery shopping together or why it takes four hours.

quote:

which takes a good 3-4 hours since we go to a big box store, regular grocery store, and a select market for our culture.

Bonster posted:

Also, don't give babies caffeine.

Runcible Cat posted:

AITA for not attending my sisters wedding after she almost didn't invite me because I'm under 18?

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

AITA for disagreeing with my dad and step mum wake up time rule?

Runcible Cat posted:

Predictable story with happy and satisfying conclusion:

AITA for letting my son help me in the kitchen?

Originally posted to r/AITAH Apr 23, 2023

Update May 1, 2023

Here's hoping dad starts knitting again!

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

AITA for insisting my (m24) roommate (f26) skip their appointment and go grocery shopping with us?

No explanation for why all three of them need to go grocery shopping together or why it takes four hours.

snergle posted:

MagusofStars posted:

Okay but do you need everybody there at all those stores for the 3-4 hours? That just sounds loving miserable.

Grocery shopping is not really a team activity; three people doesn’t make it much quicker than just one - if anything, it often makes it take longer because people have opinions on stuff or someone suggests something that’s not on the list or etc.

If you really want to make it a shared chore, then send people with lists to different stores.

Bright Bart posted:

Reading too many of these, certain phrases start to be grating to me: "Cold shoulder". "Silent treatment". "Bonding".

Am I the only one neurotic enough to take issue with calling what's basically family time bonding? If you're not bonded to the close family you live with and have lived with your whole life I don't know what to tell you.

quote:

Lately, my husband has been waking me up between 1 am. and 3 am. because he is hungry or wants a rub. (Back or arm) I hate being woken up when I am sleeping. Last time, he woke me up by poking me until I woke up. It's not hard, just insistent. I hate being woken up when I am deep asleep.

I told him he needs to not make a habit of it because if he wants a snack in the middle of the night he can get it himself and if he wanted a rub he should have asked before we went to bed.

He thinks I am the rear end in a top hat because l don't drive, and he has to wake up to bring me to work every day Monday through Friday at around 7:15 am.

I tried to say waking up after 8 full hours is different than being woke up in the middle of the night. I can usually fall back asleep fast after, but sometimes, like tonight, I have trouble. He said it's because his back hurts etc. He wants a rub to fall back asleep but didn't tell me that until tonight. I also sometimes wake him up snoring.

AITA for not wanting to wake up in the middle of the night to make him a snack or give him a rub when he has to wake up to take me to work in the morning?

I feel like I am the rear end in a top hat because I didn't know it was because his back hurt and to help him fall back asleep. But at the same time he is a grown man and can get his own midnight snack.

I can answer questions tomorrow or I guess today since it's now 4 am. Also on mobile so forgive any spelling or grammar issues.

Edit: Thanks, everyone. I am going to keep telling him no. This just started about a week ago, and I didn't do it every time. last night, he wanted me to microwave his leftovers at 3 a, and I did it just so he would stop saying he was hungry. I'm going to stick to telling him no and not do it.

Edit 2: I get panic attacks when I drive. I am thinking of getting lessons at a driving school, but it's hard when they are so expensive, and I am not sure how they would deal with the panic attacks.

Edit 3: he is not a cat. Thanks everyone. I was standing my ground about not doing it and I wanted to make sure I was right. It's good to know so many agree with me. Chances are he will try again and when I say no he will stop. Or will stop now that we had the argument about it. I don't plan on giving in to him being childish about this. I have to get back to work but I appreciate everyone commenting

Pope Corky the IX posted:

She has a job and an education. The latter is mentioned in the story and the former is acknowledged in the first sentence of your post.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not stopping smoking weed for my wife

Is that a lot of weed? I don't do it due to work but...I guess it depends on how big the joints are?

quote:

Edit: Please stop giving me legal advice. We have a lawyer. This is not a question about legality but mortality.

My grandpa had stage 4 lumbar cancer and was in hospice care for the last weeks of his life.

My family was mostly not involved to hostile during this

Anyways.we found out Grandpa had cancer 2 years ago. My family started to act like lunatics. But not in the way of concerned family members. But like performative assholes.

The only ones really carrying were my cousins and I.

You know the movie knives out? Like that. Every conversation, they brought up the will and asked him to give them their share as to avoid paying inheritance tax.

Then, when the cancer progressed, he said he didn't want interventions and just wanted to live his last months in peace.

But because there had not been any "adjustments " to the will, my family was pushing for a court order for further treatment. While that was happening, my aunt moved herself into the house. My cousin later told me it was so she could make claims on it after he was gone.

She is not a medical professional. But she made him go keto or paleo. He was too weak to fight her on that.

So my cousins and I started to go over and take him out . But instead of taking him to the park, we would take him to the horses, cinema , pubs, etc. Basically, he had a bucket list, and we would sneak him out to do that. We would also sneak in foods he wanted. And the night before he went to hospice care, we shared a few glasses of whiskey with him and a cigar. That night, he told us we were the sole inheritors of hid estate. With our oldest cousin being the executor of it. He asked us not to say anything. He just needed us to sign something.

He passed away a week after. When our parents got wind of the situation and that they had only been given 5k each, all hell broke loose. Our parents are really mad at us. They have kicked us out and are saying that they are going to cut off contact, if we don't do the right thing and give them what's theirs .

Are we the assholes for not telling them about anything and not giving them their "share"?

Edit: Please stop giving me legal advice. We have a lawyer. This is not a question about legality but mortality.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

Blue Moonlight posted:

r/relationships: Edit 3: he is not a cat.

Blue Moonlight posted:

r/relationships: Edit 3: he is not a cat.