r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Yeah, the thread sided with the guy because his wife seemed to have been OK with his plan to spend that day for a long time and only well after the matter appeared to be settled decided to turn that day into a party instead. Birthdays are, if nothing else, predictable well in advance

# ? May 18, 2023 17:29

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# ? May 28, 2024 07:42

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Party can be moved, football game can't. Easy choice, the wife is the rear end in a top hat for being so controlling.

# ? May 18, 2023 17:29

Volcano: Apr 10, 2008

I think the wife's birthday was scheduled 30 years in advance so it's pretty hard to beat that

# ? May 18, 2023 17:45

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Olewithmilk posted:

People in this thread have real weird opinions about special days. Obviously you are the rear end in a top hat if you are taking your partners milestone birthday off to go watch a football game, especially if they said that they would prefer you to be there. Imagine being at that person's party and their significant other wasn't there, and when you asked where they were you were told they'd gone to a football match. You cannot tell me you wouldn't think 'what an rear end in a top hat'.

Depends on where you live. As someone who's lived in serious college football territory for my entire adult life (Ohio State, now SEC territory), I'm 100% confident that a LOT of people in those areas would immediately ask what game it was and that would play into what they think.

MrQwerty posted:

last year my girlfriend and I both had to work on her birthday so we took time off and went and saw Erykah Badu at Red Rocks a week beforehand instead, seems pretty simple but

Yeah, this is the part that seems way over-complicated. Why not just do the big party the next weekend? Husband goes to the game, wife can go out for drinks with her friends that day, then the next weekend you've got the party. No different than if your birthday happened to fall on a Wednesday so you do it shortly before/after.

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 17:47 on May 18, 2023

# ? May 18, 2023 17:45

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Seth Pecksniff posted:

What is it with y'all and birthdays

Who cares if someone celebrates it? If you don't that's fine, no judgement. But caring that other people do says a lot more about you than them.

Some goons are truly pitiful sacks of misery who cannot fathom anyone finding a spark of joy in anything. Any attempt to enjoy A Thing must be mocked and derided. Just heaving, gurgling fonts of farts laced with arrogance; in this moment they are euphoric, not because of any phony birthday song, but because they are enlightened by their own huffing.

# ? May 18, 2023 17:51

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Volcano posted:

I think the wife's birthday was scheduled 30 years in advance so it's pretty hard to beat that

It happens every year it's not going to kill her to celebrate a day early or late. She already made him sell his tickets and he has correctly identifies that doing this with kids will be more difficult.

# ? May 18, 2023 17:55

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

If he scheduled the game out half a year ago, then nta (provided he does something for his wife before or after). I don't see why she can't just hang out with her family the day of and do something with him after.

# ? May 18, 2023 17:55

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Oh wow y�all I thought it was the golf thing, going to see a college football game and just missing an entire party is

Gadzuko posted:

I would be asking them if they had called a lawyer yet or if they were going to let her file first

It�s this territory lmao

# ? May 18, 2023 17:57

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Do you have any idea how many people have birthdays every year? Hundreds. Literally hundreds.

# ? May 18, 2023 17:58

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

It having to be the day of is what's childish and unrealistic.

# ? May 18, 2023 18:01

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

There's a 1/365 chance that someone you know has a birthday today. We have to stop the birthday menace before it claims another.

edit for content:

I (28/F) am dating a (27/F) who thinks she�s still a virgin

quote:

Me and my girl are both bisexual and have been dating for around 5 months. We were having a conversation last night about her family and she said that she and her cousin are still virgins. I was like what?? Didn�t we already have sex? Then she said that she meant she�s never had sex with a man before. Therefore, her hymen is still intact and she�s still a virgin.

I thought it was dumb as hell. I told her that her hymen can break even if she doesn�t have sex with a guy. And hymen doesn�t define if someone�s a virgin or not. I was confused and didn�t know how to feel at that moment. But now that i�ve thought about it, it kinda put me off that she thought of it that way. Like what did she think we were doing this whole time? It made me wonder if she�s even serious with me. She always tells me and shows me that she loves me, but i still have my doubts sometimes. I dunno if i�m just being insecure.

Btw, i�m her first official gf and she�s never been in a long term relationship before. She�s dated both guys and girls, but all her previous relationships didn�t last longer than a couple of months.

She also came from a religious family and told me that she tried to stop herself from liking girls before because she thought it was a sin and her family wouldn�t approve. That made me think that maybe there�s a part of her that has not yet accepted herself fully and is still in denial.

I told myself i wouldn�t date a religious girl but now i am in love with one. What are your thoughts on this? Am i being too sensitive? Should i be more understanding since she is from a different background?

It's kinda sad that her gf is still dealing with the trauma of a religious and oppressive upbringing. But i'm having a mild chuckle at the thought that they could be in the middle of sex and the gf would be like, "Nope, still a virgin."

DemoneeHo fucked around with this message at 18:20 on May 18, 2023

# ? May 18, 2023 18:12

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

kdrudy posted:

Has "She's not even his type" ever led to good choices?

For the opposite party, absolutely

# ? May 18, 2023 18:24

Magic Hate Ball: May 6, 2007; ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my wife that she needs to get over being upset with me for pulling a scare prank on our son?

I find this one interesting primarily because of all the extreme-bad-faith-reading replies accusing him of being an emotionally abusive monster who doesn't care that he traumatized a child.

# ? May 18, 2023 18:27

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Kit Walker posted:

Actually, I would use my galactic brain to run the calculus of net gain of universal happiness to determine which course of action would provide the best result and then I would use this information to make the birthday person's frown turn upside down

Thank god there is someone hyperintelligent on this thread!

# ? May 18, 2023 18:37

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

I don't know how else to say this but sometimes as a consequence of knowing people and being part of their life you have to do things for them like celebrate that they're alive against all odds, because even if you're a weirdo who is against birthdays they're not and they want the acknowledgement. It's not unreasonable to want to share that day with people who are important to them.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:03

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

It's entirely unreasonable to insist they celebrate you on the day you demand without regard for other people's lives. Just change the date; if she hasn't had to move a birthday celebration by the age of 30 she's just spoiled.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:09

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

Ominous Jazz posted:

I don't know how else to say this but sometimes as a consequence of knowing people and being part of their life you have to do things for them like celebrate that they're alive against all odds, because even if you're a weirdo who is against birthdays they're not and they want the acknowledgement. It's not unreasonable to want to share that day with people who are important to them.

This is how I see it. It's okay to not be too into birthdays or other celebrations, but if you're with someone who is into that kind of thing then you should also put some effort in, because, get this, it'll make them happy! And seeing your partner happy should kind of be one of the goals of a relationship!

Also I found both those posts interesting because I turned 30 a couple years ago and had nothing big going on because I'm a friendless loser, but I don't think it's a big stretch to realize that your spouse turning 30 might be a big deal to them, and more memorable than some golfing or a sports game would be. Also with the sports guy, he even admits that it's not actually a "once in a lifetime" thing and the reason he sold his season tickets is because they moved a bit aways from where the games were, not because his wife was some kind of controlling harpy who demands it. It's also kind of telling that in both cases their party was being thrown by someone else without the involvement of the husband, which seems sad all around.

I also think it's a weird take that adults can't want to have a single day to themselves to celebrate (that's not general like christmas or whatever might be) and even if you fall under that category, see point one.

Strep Vote posted:

It's entirely unreasonable to insist they celebrate you on the day you demand without regard for other people's lives. Just change the date; if she hasn't had to move a birthday celebration by the age of 30 she's just spoiled.

I am legitimately having a hard time seeing why a football game or a golf match take precedence over someone's 30th birthday, so if you can enlighten me please go ahead.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:15

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

homewrecker posted:

WIBTA for going to a college football game instead of staying in town for my wife's birthday

quote:

NTA because your current wife will divorce you for being an idiot and choosing football over her and as a single man you won't have to worry about her birthday!

# ? May 18, 2023 19:18

Braincloud: Sep 28, 2004; I forgot...how BIG...

Clocks posted:

I am legitimately having a hard time seeing why a football game or a golf match take precedence over someone's 30th birthday, so if you can enlighten me please go ahead.

Because clearly the football game or golf match is more important to that person than their partner�s birthday.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:21

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Braincloud posted:

Because clearly the football game or golf match is more important to that person than their partner’s birthday.

Well yeah, they are. The issue is that these two are too stupid to see how that's a problem.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:22

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

I think this was posted years and years ago but came across it today again...

One Wedding, Two Different Opinions

quote:

This story may even qualify as Faux Pas Of the Year, instead of just �Weddings From Hell�. Although dubbing it �From Hell� would certainly be appropriate. A couple of years ago I was dating a guy named Tay, and he told me that some friends of his that I didn�t know were getting married, but they�d invited him �and guest� so would I like to be his date? He�d take care of the gift, since I didn�t know the couple. He said I�d find them somewhat strange, but how strange could a wedding be, I thought. (DUN DUN DUNNNNN�. ominous music) I said I�d be delighted to go. Big mistake.

It wasn�t just a tacky wedding. EVERYTHING about the wedding was downright HORRIFIC. One disaster after another. I shudder to think about it even now. To start off, the wedding was held outdoors. In the dead of night. On a full moon. In front of a CEMETERY. AAAAAHHHH! There were even no decorations in the wedding area. The closest thing there was the flowers scattered throughout the cemetery. Most of the guests wore black. Some even had black hair and makeup. Even male guests. I couldn�t believe it. And one woman wore a floor-length (or ground-length, I suppose) white gown. Another guest was carrying a cat, another was carrying a SNAKE�.. you get the idea.

The bride and groom had hired a string quartet, they were dressed all in BLACK LEATHER and didn�t play anything that wasn�t in a minor key. Even the �here comes the bride� music sounded like a dirge.

The wedding party, that�s where I finally admitted to myself it wasn�t going to improve. There were two male and two female groom�s attendants, and two male and two female bride�s attendants, too. There was NO clear MOH or BM. The groom�s attendants all wore purple shirts and black pants, purple lipstick and black eye makeup and white face paint, and carried one white candle. The bride�s attendants all wore white shirts and black pants, black lipstick and eye makeup and white face paint, and carried one purple candle. No flowers, pants on the female attendants, and makeup on the male attendants.

THEN came the couple. The groom wore leather pants and boots, and a white, open-necked shirt. In any other setting, that shirt may have been nice, if a bit nineteenth-century. Needless to say, it may have been the highlight of the event. Anyway, he was wearing a LEATHER COLLAR, five earrings, and an eyebrow ring, and the same makeup as his attendants, and his hair was purple to match it, his attendants, and the bride�s attendants� candles. And the bride�s gown.

The bride� where do I begin? She was about a foot taller than the groom, she wore white face paint and black lipstick and eye makeup that swirled onto her temples and cheekbones. And combat boots. No veil, no train, no flowers, nothing. Her gown showed off her arms, back, and some of her legs above her boots. It also showed off the tattoos she had all over those parts of her body. Her (black) hair was pulled back to show off the seven rings in each ear.

I don�t know who told these people that this was acceptable at a wedding. The pastor was old, he looked about five minutes away from disintegration. The blessing was unbelievable, he said the most appallingly inappropriate things, like how in just a few short decades they would be buried here in this cemetery, side by side, six feet under, in matching coffins, rotting together for all eternity. I remember that part word for word because it was in the Addams family. I thought I was going to be sick. (Not at the imagery, but at the fact that it was being said as nuptials.)

I only stayed because I wasn�t sure I wanted to be seen leaving early by these people. Needless to say, I spent most of the ceremony reconsidering dating anybody who�d have that type as friends.

We all had to walk to the reception which was at a big old house three blocks away from the ceremony. The leather string quartet came with us to provide music there, much to my dismay.

It didn�t get better away from the cemetery. The house was dimly lit and full of cobwebs. There was no champagne, instead they had a lot of red wine to drink and toast with. I didn�t recognize a single one of the dishes in the buffet, and a lot of them were cold. There was no planned seating arrangement, they barely had tables. A lot of people had to just stand around holding their plates in one hand, with their wine glass on a nearby sideboard. Or else sit on a sofa with their plates in their lap. Tay managed to get us seats at a table, but then I had to work to avoid making eye contact with anybody.

Since there was no best man, nobody made a speech, and most of the guests who tried to dance didn�t have partners. All the gifts had been given earlier, and they were on display on a table. Not a one of them was an appropriate wedding gift. Only one person had even given money, and HE had folded a check up and put it in a puzzle box. Tay pointed out the gift with the tag that said �From Tay and [my name]�. It was a pair of hip flasks, one with a dragon on it, the other with a skull and crossbones.

So I wrote two notes, one saying they should be disgusted at what they�re doing to the tradition of marriage, and another breaking up with Tay, and then went to the bathroom and climbed out the window. Needless to say, I�ve been screening my calls ever since.

Part 2: Where OOP2 Recognizes Herself in OOP1�s Tale of Woe.

quote:

This happened at my own wedding. I�ll be the first to admit it was�.unconventional! lol. My (now) husband and I were very into the Goth scene at the time. I was actually a writer for a well-known horror mag, and hubby-to-be worked as a�well, as a �gore designer�. Think slasher flicks, and you get the idea! We were, therefore, very into the scene�as were most of our mates. We chose to hold a Goth wedding�cemetery, memento mori-style imagery�the whole nine yards. It was a few years ago, and yes, I�d do things differently now�but at the time (and since!), my more-than-loving friends went at their leather togs with gusto and a good attitude.

I had to give you a rundown on my �untraditional� wedding before getting to the Main Course. A good friend of my HTB was invited with his guest. The friend (whom I�ll call �T�) was NOT a subscriber to our lifestyle, but had been more than supportive and got completely into the swing of things. T�s girlfriend, however, was another story! I didn�t hear about it at the time, as I was a nervous bride and my friends and family (God bless my mum and sister!) kept this girl from me. But I gather she spent the whole ceremony bitching at those who looked �normal� (her quote) about the setting, lack of decor (we were in a cemetery! Would bows and flowers on the gravestones be more appropriate???), makeup on boys (my mate and I have oodles of friends who are gay, straight, and everything in between. If they came in glitter and neon, if they were happy, I�D BE HAPPY. Who was this woman to belittle us?) , and (gasp) my freakin� footwear! (I had a long dress, and chose to wear comfy shoes as opposed to new ones�)

So this stranger is accepting our hospitality whilst yipping to a LOT of our close friends about how �nasty� and �uncouth� we were. Even her Boyfriend was embarrassed by her behavior. She went off about our choice of a cold buffet (although we had a seafood bar ), and refused to sit with any of our friends� �T� actually went and set up a table for her, and her alone so she wouldn�t be �contaminated�!

The one interaction I had with her involved her commenting, �Wow, I�m amazed (hubby) knew where to put the actual WEDDING ring.� I am quite pierced, and, in fact, have several tattoos. But what the heck? Do my browrings somehow nullify the wedding ring?

As a final indignity, this girl left a note IN MY BOUQUET, written on tissue, accusing me of making a mockery of marriage, and telling ME, the bride, to tell �T� that she didn�t want to see him anymore!

�all I can say is that hubby and I are still deliriously happy, and T is now married�to one of my best friends! While we might not do things the way we did, neither Jay nor I regret our wedding. And all this girl did was prove to me that I have the best, most unjudgemental, most loving friends and family ever. They�ll know me to read this, as they ALL remember her�and I love you guys!

*clutches pearls* Those *MEN* are wearing *MAKEUP!*

# ? May 18, 2023 19:23

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

Hughlander posted:

I think this was posted years and years ago but came across it today again...

One Wedding, Two Different Opinions

Part 2: Where OOP2 Recognizes Herself in OOP1’s Tale of Woe.

*clutches pearls* Those *MEN* are wearing *MAKEUP!*

That's not the kind of wedding I would personally hold, but it seems like everyone (but the OP) had a lot of fun and came out to support the groom/bride. Oh, the horror! :3:

# ? May 18, 2023 19:29

Tnuctip: Sep 25, 2017

Moon Slayer posted:

Do you have any idea how many people have birthdays every year? Hundreds. Literally hundreds.

Can I invent the concept of a birthday year? Mashup of the wedding year and birthday week concepts.

Everything will revolve around me until I�m dead!

# ? May 18, 2023 19:30

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Clocks posted:

That's not the kind of wedding I would personally hold, but it seems like everyone (but the OP) had a lot of fun and came out to support the groom/bride. Oh, the horror!

I mean it seems like the Bride is also like, "Yah we've grown it's not what we'd do now but it was fun then!" Which shows far more growth than almost any other post in the thread.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:32

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Hughlander posted:

I think this was posted years and years ago but came across it today again...

One Wedding, Two Different Opinions

Part 2: Where OOP2 Recognizes Herself in OOP1�s Tale of Woe.

*clutches pearls* Those *MEN* are wearing *MAKEUP!*

Lmao oh nooo not the sanctity of the wedding industry

# ? May 18, 2023 19:34

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

it's my birthday month! I'm actually right on the cusp of two months (the 13th) so I get two birthday months!

# ? May 18, 2023 19:35

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Clocks posted:

I am legitimately having a hard time seeing why a football game or a golf match take precedence over someone's 30th birthday, so if you can enlighten me please go ahead.

Because the birthday party isn�t even planned yet, so you could very easily do both? Just shift the party a week, problem loving solved. People celebrate their birthday on a different day all the time.

Not really sure why this compromise isn�t even on the table.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:53

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

As far as I'm concerned everything is on the table.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:54

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Clocks posted:

This is how I see it. It's okay to not be too into birthdays or other celebrations, but if you're with someone who is into that kind of thing then you should also put some effort in, because, get this, it'll make them happy! And seeing your partner happy should kind of be one of the goals of a relationship!

Also I found both those posts interesting because I turned 30 a couple years ago and had nothing big going on because I'm a friendless loser, but I don't think it's a big stretch to realize that your spouse turning 30 might be a big deal to them, and more memorable than some golfing or a sports game would be. Also with the sports guy, he even admits that it's not actually a "once in a lifetime" thing and the reason he sold his season tickets is because they moved a bit aways from where the games were, not because his wife was some kind of controlling harpy who demands it. It's also kind of telling that in both cases their party was being thrown by someone else without the involvement of the husband, which seems sad all around.

I also think it's a weird take that adults can't want to have a single day to themselves to celebrate (that's not general like christmas or whatever might be) and even if you fall under that category, see point one.

I am legitimately having a hard time seeing why a football game or a golf match take precedence over someone's 30th birthday, so if you can enlighten me please go ahead.

Movable golf match no, immovable alma mater football game with a bunch of far flung friends he'll probably grow away from after the kids, yes. There is a very clear difference.

# ? May 18, 2023 19:56

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Hughlander posted:

I think this was posted years and years ago but came across it today again...

One Wedding, Two Different Opinions

Part 2: Where OOP2 Recognizes Herself in OOP1�s Tale of Woe.

*clutches pearls* Those *MEN* are wearing *MAKEUP!*

the funniest part is that the goth wedding had inscrutable goth food (a seafood bar)

# ? May 18, 2023 20:04

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Not having enough tables or chairs at the reception sounds annoying for guests. But otherwise the goth wedding rules.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:09

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

My wedding was during a heat wave and doing it at night would have been a lot less sweaty.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:10

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Are you saying that it was a nice day for a

night wedding

# ? May 18, 2023 20:11

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

As far as I'm concerned everything is on the table.

We've been over this! Baby changing doesn't belong on the tray table!

# ? May 18, 2023 20:15

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

That's the greatest wedding I've ever heard of.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:17

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Bug Squash posted:

That's the greatest wedding I've ever heard of.

Yeah, trash took itself out on that one.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:21

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Tnuctip posted:

Can I invent the concept of a birthday year? Mashup of the wedding year and birthday week concepts.

Everything will revolve around me until I�m dead!

Just behave like the antagonist in any of these stories.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:27

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

It�s not the kind of wedding I�d throw for myself, but if I were invited to one, I�d fit the theme and probably have a fuckin� blast

# ? May 18, 2023 20:30

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

That wedding sounds fun af except only red wine at a seafood buffet.

gently caress�n lol that she threw herself out of the bathroom window

# ? May 18, 2023 20:43

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# ? May 28, 2024 07:42

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

The lack of tables and chairs sounds a bit bad, but everything else about that wedding sounds freaking awesome.

Reminds me of when I used to do birthday parties as a clown, many many years ago, and without failure, if I was hired to do a party and it was kind of ritzy area, the moms would usually spend the entire party day drinking and leave me to do everything, when I was specifically there just for a small magic show, face painting and balloons. I remember being at one beautiful park, trying to corral the kids, and walking by the day drinking soccer moms, was a goth couple with a baby stroller that must have come from The Addams family props department. Either that or they had decorated it themselves because the entire thing was done in black spiderwebs, little red jewels on the wheels, black lace veils all over the place, and both of them look like they would have fit in perfectly at this wedding. But compared to the soccer moms in pastels and beige barely looking for their kids around this giant lake, it was kind of nice to see two parents who actually cared about their baby. Aiden and Brayden and cayden had nothing on baby Attila.

# ? May 18, 2023 20:46

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