- Karate Bastard
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A drink that's like alchohol except instead of getting you drunk it makes you lucky. But the hangover is that you get unlucky.
Just like alcohol!
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May 17, 2023 11:49
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 24, 2024 21:31
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- Karate Bastard
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OrcID, the cross-platform identity system of choice among notable troll and goblin scholars.
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#
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May 18, 2023 14:56
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A self help book entitled Get Confident! Bitch!!
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May 18, 2023 18:31
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The internet of thongs.
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#
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May 20, 2023 13:38
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Ready player bong.
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#
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May 20, 2023 16:24
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Psychologising the Necronomicon. Like the real Cthulhu was inside us all along.
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#
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May 20, 2023 16:31
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Psychologists for monsters.
FM: They all say Frankstein is monster. But I not Frankenstein.
Psych: Yes, because...
FM: Frankenstein is doctor.
Psych: Keep going...
FM: Frankenstein *IS* monster.
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May 20, 2023 16:38
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- Finger Prince
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Psychologists for monsters.
FM: They all say Frankstein is monster. But I not Frankenstein.
Psych: Yes, because...
FM: Frankenstein is doctor.
Psych: Keep going...
FM: Frankenstein *IS* monster.
I mean, that is pretty fuckin profound.
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May 20, 2023 17:53
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- google THIS
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"So, Mr. Dracula..."
"Count."
"Riiight. So Mr. Count..."
"That's not...never mind."
"Mr. Count, when do you think your relationship issues began? Your codependency, your...'draining them dry,' as you put it?"
"Well, it all began about eight hundred years ago in Eastern Europe when--"
"Sorry, did you just say eight hundred years?"
"Can you not shut those blinds any tighter?"
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#
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May 21, 2023 03:43
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- The Voice of Labor
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monsters in contemporary high school settings
marv (werewolf): I mean, I don't really understand it, like I turn into something, a wolf or something and I never remember it just all seems like a dream but it's real
duncan (marv's friend): lol inside each of us are two wolves
marv: I'm not joking duncan something's going on with me
duncan: lol yeah your balls have finally dropped
marv: motherfu...
(marv is interrupted for 10 or 20 seconds by a school shooting)
marv: where were we?
duncan: you were telling me you're a furry
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May 21, 2023 03:59
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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reading the incantation from the book of the dead to raise the pharaoh's mummy from the tomb and be taken as his undead bride on purpose because men in this town are trash no matter which dating app they use
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May 21, 2023 06:58
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- Karate Bastard
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Committed, alive, wealthy; choose two.
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#
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May 21, 2023 09:35
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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"So, Mr. Dracula..."
"Count."
"Riiight. So Mr. Count..."
"That's not...never mind."
"Mr. Count, when do you think your relationship issues began? Your codependency, your...'draining them dry,' as you put it?"
"Well, it all began about eight hundred years ago in Eastern Europe when--"
"Sorry, did you just say eight hundred years?"
"Can you not shut those blinds any tighter?"
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#
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May 21, 2023 14:54
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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WIBTA If I "demoted" my best friend?
Sam and I have been friends since we met. We're inseperable. We even live together. Our interests complement each other's supuberbly: I'm outdoorsy and he likes walking the trails nearby as often as possible. Instead of patrying I like to watch movies on the couch and sometimes Sam and I will even snuggle during scary scenes. We both really like meat. You get the picture.
Recently I met Bryce at work thinking I wasn't lacking for pals but I found interests I didn't know I had. We talk about books and art on a much higher level than I do with Sam. Then slowly Bryce started to invite me places Sam wouldn't enjoy like local bars (Sam doesn't drink and is not allowed in most bars for reasons I won't get into). This really made Sam jealous and once when I was leaving home to grab a few drinks Sam actually YELLED at me. Then acted as if nothing had happened when I returned. This got me to thinking of all the downsides to my relationship with Sam: he eats my food, he forces me to go out when *he* wants to, and as mentioned we can barely communicate with language.
Bryce has been calling me his best friend and I've equivocated until now but I find myself wanting to say it back to him. WIBTA to demote my longest friend to the number two position in favour of my newer friend?
Sam is a dog by the way.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 05:40 on May 22, 2023
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#
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May 21, 2023 15:21
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- Karate Bastard
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WIBTA If I "demoted" my best friend?
Sam and I have been friends since we met. We're inseperable. We even live together. Our interests compliment each other's supuberbly: I'm outdoorsy and he likes walking the trials nearby as often as possible. Instead of patrying I like to watch movies on the couch and sometimes Sam and I will even snuggle during scary scenes. We both really like meat. You get the picture.
Recently I met Bryce at work thinking I wasn't lacking for pals but I found interests I didn't know I had. We talk about books and art on a much higher level than I do with Sam. Then slowly Bryce started to invite me places Sam wouldn't enjoy like local bars (Sam doesn't drink and is not allowed in most bars for reasons I won't get into). This really made Sam jealous and once when I was leaving home to grab a few drinks Sam actually YELLED at me. Then acted as if nothing had happened when I returned. This got me to thinking of all the downsides to my relationship with Sam: he eats my food, he forces me to go out when *he* wants to, and as mentioned we can barely communicate with language.
Bryce has been calling me his best friend and I've equivocated until now but I find myself wanting to say it back to him. WIBTA to demote my longest friend to the number two position in favour of my newer friend?
Sam is a dog by the way.
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May 21, 2023 17:33
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- Karate Bastard
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Chekhov's bazooka.
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#
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May 21, 2023 17:33
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- teemolover42069
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by Fluffdaddy
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oh you think you're better than me at extrapolating conclusions based off data and observations? well you're infer a surprise bud
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 21, 2023 20:40
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- calhoun
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Can't post for 3 hours!
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...
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May 21, 2023 20:41
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- Finger Prince
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Brunch Bros: Bros that Brunch
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#
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May 22, 2023 03:34
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- google THIS
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*kicking a piece of bubble gum along while frequently grimacing and spitting* I don't wanna talk about it
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May 22, 2023 19:51
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Ducks gone catholic.
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#
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May 23, 2023 08:22
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- The Voice of Labor
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unotris
tetris but instead of tetrisimos, every piece is a single square
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#
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May 24, 2023 07:00
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Survival of the Fattest.
A group of people are trapped in a mansion and given unlimited access to cream buns, rich food and sumptuous puddings and then at the end of every week the thinnest person is executed by firing squad.
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May 24, 2023 10:13
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- teemolover42069
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by Fluffdaddy
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Survival of the Fattest.
A group of people are trapped in a mansion and given unlimited access to cream buns, rich food and sumptuous puddings and then at the end of every week the thinnest person is executed by firing squad.
a reverse biggest loser. i love it
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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May 25, 2023 05:28
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A dive bar frequented exclusively by down-on-their-luck witches.
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#
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May 25, 2023 18:32
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- teemolover42069
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by Fluffdaddy
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A dive bar frequented exclusively by down-on-their-luck witches.
sounds like the setup to a terry pratchett book
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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#
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May 26, 2023 04:09
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- Karate Bastard
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Karen vs Kenneth, a study of glass-half-empty vs glass-half-full gobshites.
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May 26, 2023 21:24
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- Karate Bastard
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The Manchegian Candidate - Could he be the cheesiest man alive?
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#
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May 27, 2023 00:12
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- The Voice of Labor
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really kinky porn that's photos of girls putting on clothes
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#
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May 27, 2023 01:54
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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really kinky porn that's photos of girls putting on clothes
just regular porn in reverse?
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#
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May 27, 2023 02:25
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- Karate Bastard
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Yeah you know the old out-in, out-in. Some freaky poo poo to be sure.
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#
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May 27, 2023 08:45
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Pigamy: The crime of being married to two of whatever species Miss Piggy is at once.
e:
Being married to one is a seperate crime that doesn't rise to the level of pigamy.
Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 13:01 on May 27, 2023
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#
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May 27, 2023 12:56
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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A lamp genie that grants wishes but afterwards says 'I might have spun a little twist that'll make you regret your wish. *wink*. See if you can find it.'.
Then because everyone has read The Monkey's Paw and heard similar tales they go mad obsessively searching for the catches but really the normal wish has just been granted. It's that very warning that makes the wish tainted and that the genie isn't even lying.
It's a cautionary story for kids to not be so pessimistic about what they have. Or something.
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#
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May 27, 2023 13:15
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Genie, I wish to commit Pigamy and get away with it.
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#
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May 27, 2023 14:21
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The King in Mellow... an unknown eldritch force that just chills you the gently caress out.
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#
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May 27, 2023 15:11
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- Finger Prince
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The King in Mellow... an unknown eldritch force that just chills you the gently caress out.
Hid followers, heavily lidded, the whites of their eyes red as blood, beatific smiles upon their faces...
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#
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May 27, 2023 15:26
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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#
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May 27, 2023 16:10
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- Karate Bastard
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Isn't that just your av, squid?
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#
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May 27, 2023 18:00
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 24, 2024 21:31
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- The Voice of Labor
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a man gets his new computer home. he's setting it up, he plugs the power and the keyboard and the mouse and the monitor in. he's about to plug the 8p8c cable in when he stops, looks at it, throws it on the ground and stomps on it. he then sits down, puts his head in his hands and begins sobbing
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May 27, 2023 23:00
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May 17, 2023 11:49
