(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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AceOfFlames posted:Congratulations, you are one of the few people on Earth who experienced Bee Movie how it's MEANT to be experienced.
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May 19, 2023 23:34
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Ronwayne posted:There I was today getting my teeth drilled. The anesthetic is wearing off, and above the dentist chair on the ceiling its playing a movie. Specifically, The Bee Movie.
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May 20, 2023 00:32
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yesterday i remarked to someone that i think going to the dentist on acid would be the worst experience in the world but now i feel confident that the horrors could be much more compelling and rich with the addition of the bee movie
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May 20, 2023 03:47
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Tried to go to work today but ended up not being able to because of the brain sad and anxiety. Will try again tomorrow. Have a call in to my therapists office so hopefully I can tall it out later on today. Thank gently caress my FMLA got approved.
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May 22, 2023 12:41
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It's good to be able to recognize your own situation! Kudos on taking appropriate steps to mitigate your poo poo
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May 23, 2023 00:17
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Tulip posted:I mean I'm speaking as a person who has a RAAD score of 20, so please count my opinion less than an autistic person's, but I think its worth thinking about what you'd get out of a formal diagnosis. I specifically am quite worried that political changes in the future of the US (and elsewhere) will need to direct oppression against people with autism diagnoses. Ah ya, that'd make sense. That's the story of maybe, 200 million Americans by my conservative guestimate. Often times depression and anxiety are substitutions for one another. Meaning the brain picks the lesser of two evils in accordance with the rest of your system (life system, bio psycho social spiritual). Sometimes, a scenario or event is too painful aka depressing to grapple with, so the brain will give you anxiety instead because at least anxiety has an up -Cortisol- and a down -Dopamine (hellya). This is why in people with PTSD who have anxiety with a thing, when they're able to cry and work through the emotional pain (depression) somehow the anxiety abates, even though the tears had nothing to do with anxiety. Conversely maybe a person doesn't have the "room" or "space" in their life for anxiety, like their job or social role or family role won't allow, so the brain gives them depression. What happens when people are depressed? They slow down, which can be the solution sometimes. I'm not saying anxiety and depression are perfect coping mechanisms, but that is what they are. In the same way our body has natural responses to braking a bone or getting a cold, but they aren't perfect and we have to intervene sometimes cause our natural responses can be lacking. Just a note here, a 3rd coping mechanism that is sometimes the lesser of 3 evils is going crazy. Maybe it hurts too much or is too scary to live on the street, so the brain gives a homeless person insanity to help cope. Same idea of a flat earther, a chud, a climate denier, etc, or anyone with what are called Non-Bizarre Delusions. Facing the enormity of capitalism and the overwhelming despair of our system is a lot harder to cope with than "jews and blacks bad lol". There's nothing ever complicated about the human brain or human condition, psychology itself is inherently reductionist. It's neoliberal capitalism that seeks to complicate things for capitalism's sake. People need love, safety, containment, shelter (all synonyms really), and food or whatever. There are so many loving diagnoses in the DSM and I barely reference the more obscure ones.
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May 26, 2023 04:42
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actually the reason i don't apply myself is because of triple kruger-rothsfeld dia-austism, which traditionally apparates (medical term) during bad bouts of gout for dockworkers. it's very rare, you probably haven't heard of it.
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May 26, 2023 05:11
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lol i thought i was having a nervous breakdown but it was just anaemia  i'm sorry, my therapist. it must be frustrating having a client suddenly slide into what looks like a random depression for weeks but actually they just need a steak
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May 26, 2023 10:47
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When you find it difficult to clear your mind during meditation or mindfulness, I find it can be effective to flip through a rotation of focus images. It’s not precisely the state you want but when my thoughts get racing beyond my control I have to steer into the skid.
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May 26, 2023 12:02
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a strange fowl posted:lol i thought i was having a nervous breakdown but it was just anaemia I'm sure they just like it when clients get an unexpectedly easy fix!
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May 26, 2023 18:25
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a strange fowl posted:lol i thought i was having a nervous breakdown but it was just anaemia insurance-billable ribeye
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May 26, 2023 18:57
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Prescott posted:When you find it difficult to clear your mind during meditation or mindfulness, I find it can be effective to flip through a rotation of focus images. It’s not precisely the state you want but when my thoughts get racing beyond my control I have to steer into the skid. do you have like a process at all for visualizing stuff? people suggest stuff like that to me but i must suck at it or maybe im trying to hard, i try it and then it's like i find myself pulled out of it. i play music in my head a lot and i guess i can imagine like where on a music staff the notes would be or how i could play it on the piano, but idk even that is just identifying notes. idk is that p much all it is?
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May 26, 2023 22:54
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veepfake posted:do you have like a process at all for visualizing stuff? people suggest stuff like that to me but i must suck at it or maybe im trying to hard, i try it and then it's like i find myself pulled out of it. meditation/mindfulness is an exercise in helping your brain have an easier time telling the difference between what's external stimulus and what's internal, what stimuli can be influenced by you and what can't be throughout a day most of your brain is running on autopilot from established behaviors and thought patterns, i don't mean stuff like getting ready for work in the morning but like, how you respond mentally and physically to something irritating or worrying, that response is there before it's triggered for someone who's practiced at meditation it's doing a mental flight check, you are making sure things are in order for someone beginning to meditate, it's like you're figuring out what you're able to check, and then how to check it, and that process there is when those learned response and subconscious anxiety/pessimism that gets applied to thoughts as they form start to become distinctly separate and visible, which, with practice, lets you catch it happening, make it stop, and prevent it from happening to begin with, like when people without mental health issues say ignorant poo poo like "well, when i feel nervous/angry/scared/sad, I just say 'welo, gotta keep on keeping on, n don't let it happen '? that's because their mind can isolate their negative thoughts and recognize their effect on the rest of them without trying, and change how they manage the stressor so it doesn't affect them as much. must be nice!! practicing meditation allows that for people who don't got that luxury for one reason or another, and makes it easier for people who do so TLDR: keep doing what you're doing what you specifically think about really isn't as important as paying attention TO what you are thinking about and noticing how you feel, what's present mentally that doesn't have to be, etc. that's what 'clearing your mind' entails it doesn't actually become 'empty', just not cluttered with stuff that don't gotta be there as long as you're trying to meditate you'll do it and get better at it, pretty much. fhe more familiar you are with the basic bits of your body and mind, the easier it becomes to get the clarity & control from meditation in other situations - at the very most extreme ends, that's how those monks can do the insane stuff that your body otherwise instinctively will not let you do, but that's too far imo hth
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May 27, 2023 01:56
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Meditation/Mindfulness has been the most useful tool psychology ever offered me. It can be hard as a material atheist not to side-eye all the spiritual and pseudo-religious baggage people bring of it but there’s a lot of scientific, even neurological evidence to its efficacy, which convinced me as a staunchly material early twentysomething. If I catch myself in time it can turn a full-blown panic attack into merely an unbearable acrid anxiety, or an acrid anxiety into merely a cold pit in my chest. And on my good days I use it to make the most of what few they are. Thank you for the write up, FirstnameLastname.
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May 27, 2023 05:06
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I honestly thought mindfulness was a stupid bullshit buzzword or something everyone was lying about. it has made a huuuuuuuge difference once I figured out a way it worked for me. instead of an entire day getting away from me I can usually get somewhere quiet, take a lot of deep breaths and actually focus on doing what I need to.
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May 27, 2023 05:10
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Prescott posted:Meditation/Mindfulness has been the most useful tool psychology ever offered me. It can be hard as a material atheist not to side-eye all the spiritual and pseudo-religious baggage people bring of it but there’s a lot of scientific, even neurological evidence to its efficacy, which convinced me as a staunchly material early twentysomething. If I catch myself in time it can turn a full-blown panic attack into merely an unbearable acrid anxiety, or an acrid anxiety into merely a cold pit in my chest. And on my good days I use it to make the most of what few they are. yeah, humans are subject to material forces but we understand the world in terms of stories and narratives, and reconciling this without getting one's brain hijacked by either reactionaryism or one's own misfiring thoughts is the trick.
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May 27, 2023 05:19
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Prescott posted:Meditation/Mindfulness has been the most useful tool psychology ever offered me. It can be hard as a material atheist not to side-eye all the spiritual and pseudo-religious baggage people bring of it but there’s a lot of scientific, even neurological evidence to its efficacy, which convinced me as a staunchly material early twentysomething. If I catch myself in time it can turn a full-blown panic attack into merely an unbearable acrid anxiety, or an acrid anxiety into merely a cold pit in my chest. And on my good days I use it to make the most of what few they are. For me, the very model of a material atheist, being an academic in science, I bounced off mindfulness meditation until incorporating some of the Buddhist background oddly. It didn't make sense to me removed from it's fuller context for whatever reason. And whatever, it works, and most of the philosophy doesn't demand you accept things like reincarnation or the pure land of Amitaba Buddha (although I think they have more practical lessons in a non woo direction too, in a Zen tradition).
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May 27, 2023 06:49
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Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone, I want to start off by extending a huge thanks to everyone that has contributed to this thread thus far. Whether you're here to vent, validate, or share ideas and experiences - thank you. The past year + has been brutal on my end. Between new responsibilities and allowing myself to make time for family, its been a whirlwind of emotions; coming back to this thread and seeing everyone's input as an interim lurker has really helped/fueled my ambitions and I'm extremely proud of the work everyone has put in to make this thread an awesome space.  Trauma DumpAround November (21') I was diagnosed with paranasal cancer. I had a pretty decent sized tumor blocking one of the airways that was able to be removed without any issues. Even with the risks being pretty low and beating it was practically guaranteed, it hosed with my head a lot. I've had scrapes, breaks, and bruises in the past but I was genuinely terrified. As my kid was coming out of their toddler phase, I made a commitment to myself where I would try to make more time for them, my family in general, and my personal support group despite my work schedule and commitments outside of my four walls. I think my body was finally telling me, "Slow the gently caress down and be a dad." I am officially cancer free as of last April, and I've officially cut a lot of poo poo out of my diet. Going on 2 years without soda now. I'm not going to blame my obsession with Dr. Pepper for what happened - but lets be real, it probably did have something to do with the one time I had "Dr. Thunder" Fast forward a year later, I feel like I'm finally in a good space with everything I've been tackling. I know there are some new posters that have been contributing and I know we haven't interacted/personally met, but know I genuinely appreciate your efforts here. As a community, we've done an awesome job at validating, supporting, and developing new languages that sometimes requires us to use some unfamiliar muscles. I'm proud of everyone here. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need an ear or figurative shoulder to lean on. 
Josherino has issued a correction as of 17:29 on May 27, 2023 |
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May 27, 2023 17:23
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Hey congrats Josherino, glad you got the best version of the worst kind of news. Kind of ableist of you to blame soda, which is basically ambrosia though
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May 27, 2023 20:55
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My cat seems a little off and I'm just barely holding it together as it is so when we go to the vet he'd better be ok.
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May 29, 2023 04:57
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is it possible to a have depression so deep that weed does not work anymore? It's been a week since I smoked previously, today i'm more darkly bored than usual so I supposed I could smoke a bit. But nothing.... Not even the bad anxiety or paranoia I sometimes get. Just nothing.
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May 29, 2023 16:40
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Pajser posted:is it possible to a have depression so deep that weed does not work anymore? It's been a week since I smoked previously, today i'm more darkly bored than usual so I supposed I could smoke a bit. But nothing.... absolutely lmao
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May 29, 2023 16:47
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Tungsten posted:absolutely lmao whats so funny?
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May 29, 2023 16:51
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Pajser posted:whats so funny? it was a lmao of recognition. i've been there exercise can help a lot with it Tungsten has issued a correction as of 16:54 on May 29, 2023 |
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May 29, 2023 16:52
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Tungsten posted:it was a lmao of recognition. i've been there i take long walks sometimes and my mind races to much and i always get paranoid some rear end in a top hat is watching me. i have an orbitrek i sometimes use. ive been eating like a small plate of salad a day, i cant do much more. completely out of appetite. it shows cuz i am rail thin for first time in my life. Don't much care for it to be honest. Pajser has issued a correction as of 17:02 on May 29, 2023 |
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May 29, 2023 17:00
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FirstnameLastname posted:meditation/mindfulness is an exercise in helping your brain have an easier time telling the difference between what's external stimulus and what's internal, what stimuli can be influenced by you and what can't be this mf know what's up Pajser posted:is it possible to a have depression so deep that weed does not work anymore? It's been a week since I smoked previously, today i'm more darkly bored than usual so I supposed I could smoke a bit. But nothing.... Yo it definitely is possible. Boredom is a devil.
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May 29, 2023 17:12
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Pajser posted:i take long walks sometimes and my mind races to much and i always get paranoid some rear end in a top hat is watching me. i have an orbitrek i sometimes use. Yeah, that's a bad sign. Are you under a treatment plan of any sort? Because what you're doing now isn't sustainable.
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May 29, 2023 18:03
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Zeroisanumber posted:Yeah, that's a bad sign. Are you under a treatment plan of any sort? Because what you're doing now isn't sustainable. no, not for years now. I had a bad reaction to welbutrin and my therapist at the time refused to proscribe something else so I cut him off. Didn't see anyone else afterwards.
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May 29, 2023 18:17
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Pajser posted:no, not for years now. I had a bad reaction to welbutrin and my therapist at the time refused to proscribe something else so I cut him off. Didn't see anyone else afterwards. Yeah, you need to see somebody pretty bad because this is badly affecting your life and health. Is there a friend or relative you could call to help you out?
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May 29, 2023 20:41
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2nd, extreme loss of appetite is a huge indicator, talk to someone ASAP.
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May 30, 2023 02:52
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Kind of hard to do that right now, waiting period is like 6 months for any sort of specialist. Unless you want to deal with scammers.
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May 30, 2023 08:19
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Pajser posted:Kind of hard to do that right now, waiting period is like 6 months for any sort of specialist. Unless you want to deal with scammers. You've got to get something started, goon. I know it's scary and hard but you have a disease that's really roughing you up and you need to reach out to your support network. Again, I know that's scary and hard, but I've been where you are right now and you'll be surprised by how willing people who care about you are to do what they can to help you out.
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May 30, 2023 11:25
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Kinda too old for any of that now.Zeroisanumber posted:people who care about you Lmao
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May 30, 2023 15:17
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Pajser posted:ive been eating like a small plate of salad a day, i cant do much more. completely out of appetite. I have been there before but it truly is the sort of catch 22 that will just make everything worse. I had a good few months where I couldnt force myself to eat enough. The energy levels from no nutrients was terrible, and made everything worse. I was able to stave off the worst of it by basically living off smoothies with yogurt fruit and whey protein. The "small salad per day" may seem like a 'healthy' option, but it's not. You simply can't live on that amount of food/nutrition unless you're a literal rabbit. Try smoothies, or hell even a box of those ensure drinks would be a better idea than a few leaves of lettuce. You'll feel a lot better and will be able to potentially have enough energy to make more positive steps. Also another thing that really helps with appetite is physical movement. Try and go on a walk for as long as you can and then go back home and eat. Movement gets your stomach going.
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May 30, 2023 15:18
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Pajser posted:Kinda too old for any of that now. unless you're 104 or something i seriously doubt you're too old to feel better. and yeah, people do care about you. regardless of whether or not you believe it, it's true, and no amount of mental gymnastics is going to erase the fact that if you were gone on purpose that it would affect someone else in your life in a way that they would never get over it. if you're having trouble conceptualizing or believing the real human beings in your life that would be hurt if you were gone, get a fish or something and mediate on the fact that if you died, it would die, too. no man is an island. not eating is going to make things a lot worse, but obviously if you're not getting any pleasure from eating it's not going to do poo poo and it'll be near impossible to convince yourself to do so. i understand. the second something is even slightly wrong my appetite is the first thing to go, so i go from "eating properly" to "eat anything, period". i set an arbitrary goal for calories for the day that i try and reach over a period of a week, and i try not to beat myself up if i don't reach that goal one day, as long as i get sort of close. you're not getting any pleasure from eating, but you're also not getting any pleasure from not eating, so you may as well try and avoid having lunago and loose teeth and a heart problem to boot. you're not going to six months will pass regardless of whether or not you're waiting to hear from a specialist. you can either make that appointment and either experiment with some things in the mean time that will make your life more tolerable, or you can entertain a fantasy that you're the only person on earth who is beyond help. you're not. punishing yourself, hurting yourself, all those things may make the suffering seem more tangible, and they may validate your pain, but these things are not helpful. i think sometimes people get this idea that they can't or shouldn't get better not because they think they actually deserve to be in pain, but that by getting better it makes all the painful feelings seem transient and thus the actual real suffering incurred shouldn't have hurt at all. pain can be real and it can also go away at some point. these ideas can coexist even while you're still here.
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May 30, 2023 17:25
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Trauts posted:Try smoothies, or hell even a box of those ensure drinks would be a better idea than a few leaves of lettuce. Seconding this. I'd just keep some meal replacement drinks (like Ensure or Slimfast) and try and drink from them whenever you think to. Pre-made drinks like that will also be easier than preparing smoothies. (This is also a good way to lose weight if you get the higher-protein drinks)
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May 30, 2023 17:28
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I had a period where I rapidly lost weight because I couldn't make myself eat, and smoothies were what kept me going. One of the hardest parts of depression is the way it makes you feel isolated and question people's motives for interacting with you. People do care, but it's very hard to see it through the depression.
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May 30, 2023 17:41
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Adenoid Dan posted:question people's motives for interacting with you. This has been me for my entire life since the age of eight. Having maintained a sort of schizoid personality has helped me I just have very bad luck and somehow ran into a lot of assholes and some very toxic workplaces.
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May 30, 2023 18:23
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Pajser posted:i take long walks sometimes and my mind races to much and i always get paranoid some rear end in a top hat is watching me. i have an orbitrek i sometimes use. Walks aren't enough, you need do cardio. Seriously, when I do a mile of basically intervals (run till you can't, walk till you can run again, repeat) I feel loving great. Like better than adderall great. Only takes 15 minutes. Despite this, I rarely go and do it, but still, the benefits are undeniable.
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May 30, 2023 19:11
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Pajser posted:i take long walks sometimes and my mind races to much and i always get paranoid some rear end in a top hat is watching me.
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May 30, 2023 20:31
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