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Saalkin posted:Scrumworth
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:14 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 15:10 |
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Without these methods how can the business keep engineers on task? They are liable to make a mess of things like the heron messed up the pots and pans in that hilarious tweet from 2010.
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:16 |
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i tell people to make a gDoc dream journal and just ping me with poo poo they want beyond this on slack i guess we have a project manager now though which is good because having to follow up on tickets is loving fatiguing
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:16 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:itt we discover smugworth is an agile scrum master No but I have worked with several. Most are dead weight ticket janitors
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:17 |
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Agile’s the one where you’re supposed to dodge all the poo poo they throw at you, and waterfall is the one where you stand there and suck it all down, right?
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:20 |
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Dick Fontaine posted:Agile’s the one where you’re supposed to dodge all the poo poo they throw at you, and waterfall is the one where you stand there and suck it all down, right? Pretty much
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:23 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:lol epic. wonder if maybe i'm in the wrong line of work and i should search for a scrum coach master job or w/e and jerk off all day instead of work I’ve checked into it & while not the worst idea pay wise they seem hyper micromanaged as many layers of leadership are obsessed with change management so they are stuck in sometimes eight hours of meetings a day so not much space to run an EVE guild or whatever. It would also feel like trying to get annoyed employees excited for a religion you yourself don’t believe in. MuadDib Atreides posted:Without these methods how can the business keep engineers on task? They are liable to make a mess of things like the heron messed up the pots and pans in that hilarious tweet from 2010. Lol most of the agile coaching is focused on non-engineers, they’re trying to apply it to HR & Payroll. Oddly the consultants involved are ok with that.
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:30 |
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Wondering how the engineers can possibly stay on task and not verge into wasting the businesses money on a big way without scrums to find where the blockers are
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:31 |
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Just keep cranking code and ignoring as much agile process as possible
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:32 |
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Smugworth posted:Just keep cranking code and ignoring as much agile process as possible Sounds like a recipe for disaster OP
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:34 |
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Smugworth posted:Just keep cranking code and ignoring as much agile process as possible This works if you’re a genius and critical for the business. If you’re not this is a great way to end up the cranky rear end in a top hat who’s constantly passed over for promotions.
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:44 |
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kronix posted:This works if you’re a genius and critical for the business. If you’re not this is a great way to end up the cranky rear end in a top hat who’s constantly passed over for promotions. Heh
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:50 |
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My previous company discarded waterfall for agile but then started experimenting with weird things. I've told this story before but I think it's worth repeating that they tried categorizing every project as a fruit for a while. We had to have the entire tech branch of the company sit on a long conference call to try to explain to all of us how the product management team came up with this brilliant idea. Every project was to be categorized as a fruit based off of how difficult it is to eat that fruit. A "grape" project would be easy while a "coconut" project was going to take some time and more effort. We all had to sit and look at a chart in a Powerpoint presentation listing the succession of fruit difficulty and how to apply the correct fruit rating to projects. "I dunno, I only have time this week for an apple. Can anyone else take this pomegranate task so I can get to my pear project next?" .........that idea didn't fly for very long there.
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# ? May 29, 2023 20:53 |
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Catastrophe posted:My previous company discarded waterfall for agile but then started experimenting with weird things. I've told this story before but I think it's worth repeating that they tried categorizing every project as a fruit for a while. We had to have the entire tech branch of the company sit on a long conference call to try to explain to all of us how the product management team came up with this brilliant idea. Every project was to be categorized as a fruit based off of how difficult it is to eat that fruit. A "grape" project would be easy while a "coconut" project was going to take some time and more effort. We all had to sit and look at a chart in a Powerpoint presentation listing the succession of fruit difficulty and how to apply the correct fruit rating to projects. "I dunno, I only have time this week for an apple. Can anyone else take this pomegranate task so I can get to my pear project next?" .........that idea didn't fly for very long there. This seems like a reasonable way to streamline tasks OP.
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:01 |
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I'm worried that some engineers in here are going off task and not focusing on the business end of the equation. Theory is great but there are deliverables to be considered...
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:01 |
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We’re calling this one a “Jamaican tangelo” because it looks like it might get ugli
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:02 |
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im the guy who is always talking about his grapes as if theyre coconunts and everybody knows but im in good with the scrum master
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:03 |
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MuadDib Atreides posted:I'm worried that some engineers in here are going off task and not focusing on the business end of the equation. One of their most powerful tools is the ability to Blame with a capital B. Didn't hit the story point target (because it's not effort; they're most certainly time estimates bordering on contracts)? You should have spoken up! You did to say it was poorly scoped? That was on you to reticket and rescope. You did that? How much time did you spend doing that instead of completing the task? Naturally they don't accept any of the downsides themselves; this is a developer process after all!
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:08 |
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*at the morning meeting* ya... I had a look at this little "grape" over the weekend (was working on the weekend btw ) what a ratsnest.... I'm thinking this little number might need an upgrade....Possible coconut on deck *scrum master nods and changes the grape icon to a coconut on monday.com the premiere product management tool* *all the other engineers who make less than me shoot each other an angry look as I have done it yet again, the trill engineer who is in with the scrum master and manager...Thinking to move more into a product management/engineering role for a substantial pay bump been hanging around the bosses office a grip lately just shooting the mess....
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:11 |
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Cheesus posted:The biggest advantage of Agile is it allows the useless or destructive middle manager to put their fingers on the scale and provide value that they'd otherwise not have. *swinigng by the manager office to talk about the weekends little league game (Junior knocked it out of the park I trust?)? Yup I'm not sure why the other engineers can't seem to log their hours and estimates properly... I guess that's why there's engineers and managers Haha well.... I should get back to my desk. Got to bust open this coconut!
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:19 |
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Yup
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:23 |
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Classical.... tale as old as time
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:27 |
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my company uses the Argyle method
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:31 |
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Smugworth posted:You should get certified in Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe) yup
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:33 |
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MuadDib Atreides posted:*swinigng by the manager office to talk about the weekends little league game (Junior knocked it out of the park I trust?)? Yup I'm not sure why the other engineers can't seem to log their hours and estimates properly... I guess that's why there's engineers and managers Haha well.... I should get back to my desk. Got to bust open this coconut! And accurate.
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:34 |
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:41 |
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My employer is a subsidiary of some ginormous megacorp you've heard of. I'm a prototyping hardware engineer with a very narrow specialty that I will not divulge, but it pays well to be one of the very few who can do what I do. I work from home, halfway around the planet from the office. I sync with my boss over skype 3 or 4 times a week. I don't attend meetings, I barely get or send any email. I learned my trade from a former colleague who was nearing retirement and convinced me to become a sort of journeyman or understudy. Now I have my own lab and makerspace downstairs. My commute is 20 steps. I don't have an alarm clock. I own and manage my equipment and I have no corporate monitoring software tracking my activities. I don't check in or check out. All they ask of me is that I deliver what I promise. I figure out the rest. Once a year we have a performance review. I haven't had a complaint. I should be happy. I know this won't last. There will be some kind of reset, the trap will spring shut and one day I find myself facing the prospect of having to check in to some ghastly open office plan with a company issued HP or Dell laptop and wearing a badge with a lanyard around my neck as a noose. I hope I have enough saved up by then to just walk.
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:42 |
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:43 |
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So, to people who've worked under these systems, do they actually work when implemented correctly? It could be my oppositional defiance coming through but it seems like a nightmare that wouldn't work but at the same time, leading a bunch of people on a big project needs some structure.
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:44 |
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frumpykvetchbot posted:My employer is a subsidiary of some ginormous megacorp you've heard of. Sounds that you're not integrated with the team OP? Possibly not in line with the vision?
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:44 |
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:45 |
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:48 |
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:51 |
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open a vein much op?
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:53 |
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Peggy Edson posted:open a vein much op? looks to be a rich one...
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:53 |
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Tarkus posted:So, to people who've worked under these systems, do they actually work when implemented correctly? It could be my oppositional defiance coming through but it seems like a nightmare that wouldn't work but at the same time, leading a bunch of people on a big project needs some structure. Theyre essential OP
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# ? May 29, 2023 21:59 |
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Tarkus posted:So, to people who've worked under these systems, do they actually work when implemented correctly?
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# ? May 29, 2023 22:07 |
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Tarkus posted:So, to people who've worked under these systems, do they actually work when implemented correctly? It could be my oppositional defiance coming through but it seems like a nightmare that wouldn't work but at the same time, leading a bunch of people on a big project needs some structure. No, it's mostly a cult and make work job program. Just take the valuables parts: - Iterative development with regular deliverables - self-organizing teams - regular retrospectives and re-evaluation of the process and team dynamics Skip the rest which is all worthless cult and self-help guru poo poo
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# ? May 29, 2023 22:34 |
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I rolled a three on agility
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# ? May 29, 2023 22:35 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 15:10 |
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op is going off. looks like he got placeholder3d tho
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# ? May 29, 2023 23:03 |