GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

«‹›392 »

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Sometimes you eat the Garf, and sometimes the Garf eats you.

# ? Jun 1, 2023 11:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 00:39

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Ror posted:

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1663944216672706561

50 bucks for this pillow on the other hand is an absolute steal. And then I saw the buyer. I desperately need to know exactly how much irony Emily made these purchases with.

It's a blurry photo, but probably terrible quality printing on the cushion as well. I remember an old review of some other GarfEats merch saying you couldn't read the speech bubble writing because it had been printed from a lovely jpeg.

# ? Jun 1, 2023 11:59

the yeti: Mar 29, 2008; memento disco

Ror posted:

700 bucks is a pretty good price for a bespoke 3-piece suit. You know, if you are the same size as Nathen Mazri and want to look like Garfield.

I don�t think it�s bespoke though. �Size medium� most likely means he either bought it off the rack, or picked a fabric and the shop cranked out a standard pattern with it.

# ? Jun 1, 2023 12:17

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Hedenius posted:

First live human eh�

Traditionally they posed cadavers with garfield for the purpose of marketing garfieldeats

# ? Jun 1, 2023 16:39

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1664381360121708546?s=20

# ? Jun 2, 2023 03:01

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

CodfishCartographer posted:

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1664381360121708546?s=20

Sexy Cat Girl for president, when?

# ? Jun 2, 2023 03:05

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

I am not sure what this means

E: Oh ok. Biden tripped over a sandbag at a commencement speech so naturally some weirdo Canadian is very interested

# ? Jun 2, 2023 03:13

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Frank Frank posted:

I am not sure what this means

E: Oh ok. Biden tripped over a sandbag at a commencement speech so naturally some weirdo Canadian is very interested

I'm sure that the weirdo Australian Nazi who used to live in my neighborhood has some very strong opinions and a whole rant prepared on this event I'm just now hearing about. And I'm American!

# ? Jun 2, 2023 03:26

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

https://www.cleanlabelproduct.com/board

w...what is he doing with his hand?

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:25

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

(He tweeted the link to that site here)

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:27

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Jesus did Nathen will this into existence

"subscribe to The Pop Insider, the only publication 100% dedicated to licensed merch!" #fuelyourfandom

https://thepopinsider.com/subscribe/

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:30

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Dr. Quarex posted:

Jesus did Nathen will this into existence

"subscribe to The Pop Insider, the only publication 100% dedicated to licensed merch!" #fuelyourfandom

https://thepopinsider.com/subscribe/

More or less, yes:

quote:

Nathen Mazri, Canadian, is a clean label activist and entrepreneur known for his Farm2Plate quick service restaurant, GarfieldEATS, which quickly became a popular destination for those seeking an officially licensed Garfield-themed menu and of course, lasagnas made of fresh, clean, and locally sourced ingredients.

Nathen realized that he could use his restaurant as a platform to promote clean eating and sustainable agriculture on a larger scale. He founded the Clean Label Product (CLP) organization to help consumers make more informed decisions about the foods they eat. The mission is to raise awareness about the benefits of clean eating and to encourage food manufacturers to use natural and wholesome ingredients in their products.

As Executive Director of CLP, Nathen has formed a strong board of chemists, engineers, scientists and experts who are committed to promoting clean eating and sustainable agriculture. Nathen Mazri has also been actively involved in the Ontario farming community dedicated to understanding more about regenerative farming and clean farming practices that go into our food, in order to promote healthier, cleaner, and more sustainable agricultural practices.

Since 2017, Nathen has been conducting research into Farm 2 Plate practices, which emphasizes the importance of using locally sourced ingredients we can pronounce.

Looks like pops has financed a new (considerably less silly) business venture. I guess this means Eegeez and NathenEats are dead though. RIP NathenEats. We hardly knew ye.
This is still extremely weird though because their call to action is to petition the FDA in the United States. Nathen is Canadian.

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:36

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Frank Frank posted:

https://www.cleanlabelproduct.com/board

w...what is he doing with his hand?

crushing your head between his fingers

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:39

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

lol the other guys' bios are weird as hell too:

quote:

He is an award-winning open innovation specialist that contributed to bringing to market the world�s first Microsoft Mobile device as well as the launching of the Windows10 eco-system. He has worked with Toshiba, Qualcomm, D.A.R.P.A., and Google in the development and conceptualization of the Google Project, ARA.

Maurizio brings 19+ years of development co-founded Greener Process Systems creating SETH�, a patented, state-of-the-art technology to capture and reduce air pollution from oceangoing ships docked in ports to near zero. Maurizio is passionate about clean industries and clean living.

Maurizio holds a BS in Computer Science and a dual masters degree in Engineering & Aeronautics from the Universit� di Bologna, Italy. He has extensive leadership skills and experience along with valuable technical and creative skills.

Festa has been awarded two patents.

WTF is that last line?

quote:

Shahin has become a world-renowned authority on green sustainable chemistry in cosmetic science. Since 2004, Shahin Kalantari has devoted his life in the cosmetic industry to develop clean, natural and organic personal care. In 2008, Shahin introduced the first certified organic product line. He is a professor at Seneca College, as a chemist professor, who teaches formulation labs in the cosmetic chemistry program.

Shahin has helped develop different types of cosmetic formulas for skincare products (cleansers, creams, gels, serums, lotions), hair care products (shampoo, conditioner, fixatives, treatments), and body care products (daily cleansing, sun blocks, sun protection). The products are all natural, organic, and sustainable.

After growing increasingly concerned with the amount of synthetic ingredients in so-called �organic� products, Shahin convinced members of Certech Registration that Canada needed its own standard for organic cosmetics. Thanks largely to his efforts, Certech Registration developed the IOS2008 standard � a standard specifically designed to ensure the legitimacy and quality of organic cosmetics and personal care products.

Shahin is a valuable member of Clean Label Product as the lead chemist including a member of the Organic Council of Ontario and the Organic Trade Association, which was behind the first Canadian organic regulation of food and farm products in 2008. He is also the recent Chair-elect of the Canadian Society of Cosmetic Chemists.

Does he mean ISO2008 because that's not a thing. Googling "IOS2008 standard' yields no hits. Also this guy is Canadian too. So an Italian national and two guys from Canada are going to yell at the FDA I guess?

# ? Jun 3, 2023 05:43

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

I don�t think I realized previously that the Clean Label Product thing was another trademark Nathen Mazri scheme.

That I didn�t notice anything amiss probably doesn�t speak well to wellness-adjacent food products.

# ? Jun 3, 2023 06:52

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

You know who else was a specialist in innovating with openings? Kirk Johnson

# ? Jun 3, 2023 07:02

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Frank Frank posted:

lol the other guys' bios are weird as hell too:

WTF is that last line?

Does he mean ISO2008 because that's not a thing. Googling "IOS2008 standard' yields no hits. Also this guy is Canadian too. So an Italian national and two guys from Canada are going to yell at the FDA I guess?

Is word salad a clean label product?

# ? Jun 3, 2023 07:11

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

steinrokkan posted:

Is word salad a clean label product?

Powerful thread title material here

# ? Jun 3, 2023 07:15

im saint germain: Jan 30, 2021; i've come from the future to tell you all we have to stop party rock before it returns

This is the least stupid thing I have seen Nathen attach his name to in a very long time if ever and I wish him the best (unless this is somehow scummy, in which case gently caress him and all involved).

# ? Jun 3, 2023 07:35

Big City Drinkin: Oct 9, 2007; A very good; Fallen Rib

It�s pretty stupid. You pay him to use �generative AI� to determine that a certain percentage of ingredients in a product are �natural,� and then you can put the label on your packaging. No food manufacturer is going to sign up for this

Also that site is full of Mazriverse easter eggs, including the armpit food deodorant

# ? Jun 3, 2023 15:38

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

I wonder if the two other guys on "the board" have seen Nathen making out with that giant stuffed garfield.

# ? Jun 3, 2023 16:40

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Frank Frank posted:

lol the other guys' bios are weird as hell too:

WTF is that last line?

Does he mean ISO2008 because that's not a thing. Googling "IOS2008 standard' yields no hits. Also this guy is Canadian too. So an Italian national and two guys from Canada are going to yell at the FDA I guess?

Ok first off Maurizio didn't create me and I'm going to be speaking to a lawyer about this continual slander

# ? Jun 3, 2023 16:43

the yeti: Mar 29, 2008; memento disco

Frank Frank posted:

WTF is that last line?

He probably got patents at one of those tech jobs and either they�re for nothing special or he can�t talk about them.

# ? Jun 3, 2023 17:35

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

i want a patent for a table that's actually also a farm

# ? Jun 3, 2023 17:36

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

imagine going to a restaurant and sitting down in front of a planter box

# ? Jun 3, 2023 17:37

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Mozi posted:

imagine going to a restaurant and sitting down in front of a planter box

I'm on board!

# ? Jun 3, 2023 17:45

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

the yeti posted:

He probably got patents at one of those tech jobs and either they�re for nothing special or he can�t talk about them.

It was more the way he said it than the content. Why is he referring to the guy by his last name?

# ? Jun 3, 2023 17:50

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Ok first off Maurizio didn't create me and I'm going to be speaking to a lawyer about this continual slander

Did he do any specialist innovations to any of your, uh, openings

# ? Jun 3, 2023 18:02

init: Jun 20, 2021

Frank Frank posted:

I wonder if the two other guys on "the board" have seen Nathen making out with that giant stuffed garfield.

I�d be surprised if the other two guys on the board knew that they had signed up for this.

# ? Jun 3, 2023 18:32

DoombatINC: Apr 20, 2003; Here's the thing, I'm a feminist.

Frank Frank posted:

https://www.cleanlabelproduct.com/board

w...what is he doing with his hand?

something's been bugging me about their logo for days and it finally clicked

# ? Jun 4, 2023 19:44

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Lol

# ? Jun 4, 2023 19:56

Megaraptor: Dec 10, 2004; Life, uh...finds a way

DoombatINC posted:

something's been bugging me about their logo for days and it finally clicked

Lol

# ? Jun 4, 2023 21:45

Shneak: Mar 6, 2015; A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.

Ror posted:

700 bucks is a pretty good price for a bespoke 3-piece suit. You know, if you are the same size as Nathen Mazri and want to look like Garfield.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1663944216672706561

50 bucks for this pillow on the other hand is an absolute steal. And then I saw the buyer. I desperately need to know exactly how much irony Emily made these purchases with.

"First LIVE human" :eyepop:

# ? Jun 4, 2023 23:21

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Does that mean Nathen was the only licensee willing to pay the like $500,000 upcharge to have an outside character appearing with Garfield on merchandise

# ? Jun 5, 2023 01:49

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Dr. Quarex posted:

Does that mean Nathen was the only licensee willing to pay the like $500,000 upcharge to have an outside character appearing with Garfield on merchandise

Not sure there's a huge demand for this service.

# ? Jun 5, 2023 02:32

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Well I guess something happened in Toronto, and now we have a new Nathenism.

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1665063004809961472

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1665434263607451649

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1665448054692929539

# ? Jun 5, 2023 10:31

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

he does look pretty good for 57

# ? Jun 5, 2023 10:40

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

the clean label thing is right up his alley, just another nonsense scam like his completely nonexistent farm2plate bs

# ? Jun 5, 2023 12:25

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Eh, I think there's *something* to it for sure but it's going to be wildly disorganized and Nathen hasn't figured out how to actually effect change since his business plan seems to be "bother the FDA (in the US)". The approach kinda makes sense I guess since a lot of global food distribution megacorps are HQ'ed here but at the same time, it would seem to me it would make more sense to lobby Canada's FDA equivalent for stricter guidelines or whatever.

He doesn't appear to be selling anything for a change - just offering consumer advice, so that's good?

E: I do genuinely love that his first reaction when running into a weirdo twitter racist is "bitch, I'm GORGEOUS"

# ? Jun 5, 2023 12:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 00:39

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

It's the same as egeez - there's a core of an idea, but Nathen couldn't figure out what role he could play in executing it, so he tries to insert himself as a useless middle man

# ? Jun 5, 2023 12:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

«‹›392 »