PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

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Autisanal Cheese: Nov 29, 2010

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

agreed - it's a waste of time that could be spent pondering majima's seeming character transformation over the course of yakuza 0

# ? Jun 5, 2023 23:59

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:36

Famethrowa: Oct 5, 2012

Endorph posted:

tbh even if hedrigall is in a poly/open relationship its kinda weird to be like 'lol im gonna gently caress this other guy on my wedding anniversary.' like give the dude you married a day to himself goddamn.

seems poly for the course

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:02

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

ichiban posting an internet thread about how he just got out of prison but every time a goon recommends he play a jrpg he goes 'i already played that'

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:03

Babe Magnet: Jun 2, 2008

townsends' food videos are all great but the secret best part of his channel is the updates on his dope rear end log cabin. the video where they built the well was enthralling

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:16

Tangents: Aug 23, 2008

Endorph posted:

tbh even if hedrigall is in a poly/open relationship its kinda weird to be like 'lol im gonna gently caress this other guy on my wedding anniversary.' like give the dude you married a day to himself goddamn.

Remembering SALT CURES HAM, who went to visit his long distance open relationship gf for his birthday, only to be locked inside her house while she went out to sleep with someone else

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:27

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Tangents posted:

Remembering SALT CURES HAM, who went to visit his long distance open relationship gf for his birthday, only to be locked inside her house while she went out to sleep with someone else

owned

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:27

elf help book: Aug 5, 2004; Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up

Babe Magnet posted:

townsends' food videos are all great but the secret best part of his channel is the updates on his dope rear end log cabin. the video where they built the well was enthralling

I like the metalworking cousin videos

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:29

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

Tangents posted:

Remembering SALT CURES HAM, who went to visit his long distance open relationship gf for his birthday, only to be locked inside her house while she went out to sleep with someone else

long distance open relationship gf lmao

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:32

Famethrowa: Oct 5, 2012

Tangents posted:

Remembering SALT CURES HAM, who went to visit his long distance open relationship gf for his birthday, only to be locked inside her house while she went out to sleep with someone else

also the only good X CURES Y username on the entire website.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:35

Douche Wolf 89: Dec 9, 2010; 🍉🐺8️⃣9️⃣

Joe built him a chair

# ? Jun 6, 2023 00:35

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Endorph posted:

ichiban posting an internet thread about how he just got out of prison but every time a goon recommends he play a jrpg he goes 'i already played that'

lol

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:11

Veev: Oct 21, 2010; K is for kid.
A guy or gal just like you.
Dont be in such a hurry to grow up, since there's nothin' a kid can't do.

Tangents posted:

Remembering SALT CURES HAM, who went to visit his long distance open relationship gf for his birthday, only to be locked inside her house while she went out to sleep with someone else

Asking where the birthday present is as Montressor adds another bar to the window.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:17

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

SALT CURES HAM

SALT CURES HAM posted:

So it's my second full day of visiting SALT CURES VAG and she's already tired of my bullshit whoopee

e: also waking up the day after your birthday to find that your SO hosed another dude while you were passed out drunk is not a good feeling

like tbf we are poly but one of the boundaries we set was "no bringing people home to gently caress them unless it's both of us" plus it was literally my goddamn birthday

supposedly the crack house in New Orleans he went to visit her at.

SALT CURES HAM posted:

slice of life: I have been locked in this house for a day and a half, there's ghetto bars on the doors and windows so i physically cannot leave without the key. gently caress this gay earth.

SALT CURES HAM posted:

Also this is directly related to what I was embarassingly drunkposting about so yeah my "vacation" has sucked a dick so far

e:

the lock does nothing without a key

Tries to plead for help in E/N, people bring up his crazy drug use bragging from CineD which ironically he shortly abandoned the thread because he left to visit the GF which led to him posting through it in the cineD chat thread.

SALT CURES HAM posted:

To sum it up quickly, my parents are terrible people. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic who believes in a magical force that tells her the future in her dreams and thinks that within about 20 years human civilization will die out because of Hispanic and Muslim invasions of white countries. My dad is at least sane, but he has cheated on my mom literally since before I was born (I'm almost 20), pretty much just pretends my mom is mentally stable rather than confronting the problem, and isn't even around for like 75% of the time due to business trips/loving other women/etc.

To be fair, they don't treat me terribly. I'm not starved, I have a roof over my head, they throw money at me semi-frequently and exercise their affluent whiteness to get me out of bad situations, etc. However, on the other hand, they trust me about as far as they can throw me. I'm not allowed to go anywhere except work without telling them. I'm taking a vacation this weekend and they were hesitant to even let me go, and made me give them detailed contact info for the person I'm staying with. (Keep in mind that, as of Saturday, I will have been a legal adult for two years.) Every single time they perceive something wrong, their first thought is that I did something lovely, even if nothing actually went wrong. They refuse to believe that my sadbrains problems exist, and think I made them up to get away with being a useless poo poo, in spite of the fact that I have copious documentation of them being real.

I have done things to warrant a lack of trust, granted- I'm not trying to pass myself off as some kind of saint here (though lord knows I'm probably going to get accused of it, given the general disposition of E/N), and in fact I totally am kind of a fuckup. But this sucks horribly. My mental health is severely deteriorating from being here, even with medication. I need to get the gently caress out, and preferably sever.

I have a place to stay when I move, a job lined up that pays enough to make rent/utilities/groceries, and even a fair number of friends in the area. I have taken enough precautions to ensure that I'm not going to starve to death or be miserable. That said, I have a bad feeling that my parents will attempt to drag me back if I leave; is this a reasonable fear, and if so, how do I protect myself?

tl;dr: need to sever with crazy parents, crazy parents are not likely to be happy about it, how do I keep them from following me?

SALT CURES HAM posted:

I think I genuinely dug HB2, I'm just not 100% sure because getting a blowjob might have biased me in favor of the whole experience. Taken 2 and Total Recall were just straight garbo.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Last attempt was writing a later described fakepost E/N thread

SALT CURES HAM posted:

Lately I've been stuck in a rut in life. Nothing seems interesting to me anymore and I've given serious thought to ending my sad lovely gay existence. But that's too pathetic and gay for me and not cool enough.

So instead I'm ordering a fuckload of DOC (a psychedelic that lasts for over 18 hours), locking myself in a 4 foot by 4 foot wooden cube, and having my friend play Death Grips' discography on shuffle at jet engine volume on my sound system to drown out my screaming.

Any advice, goons? How do I mentally prepare myself for this?

pentyne fucked around with this message at 01:34 on Jun 6, 2023

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:31

Famethrowa: Oct 5, 2012

salt cures vag otoh...

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:33

Ibram Gaunt: Jul 22, 2009

I remember some goons saying that LORD OF BOOTY was a SALT CURES HAM rereg but no clue...But funny if true.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:37

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

pentyne posted:

Last attempt was writing a later described fakepost E/N thread

why does he need a friend to do that

# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:50

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

SALT CURES HAM posted:

SALT CURES VAG

Ibram Gaunt posted:

I remember some goons saying that LORD OF BOOTY was a SALT CURES HAM rereg but no clue...But funny if true.

I don't know if LORD OF BOOTY was the same person, but I do remember LORD OF BOOTY later changed his username to Weedlordgoku69 or something like that, then he was permabanned for posting about wanting to kill politicians in C-SPAM. He made an alt almost immediately after and then let a couple of weeks pass by before being weird in the Internet Personality thread, where someone immediately pegged him as a LORD OF BOOTY rereg and that account completely vanished from the thread after that.

Nuns with Guns fucked around with this message at 02:24 on Jun 6, 2023

# ? Jun 6, 2023 02:17

MysticalMachineGun: Apr 5, 2005

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

agreed - it's a waste of time that could be spent pondering majima's seeming character transformation over the course of yakuza 0

The love of a good woman can even change the Mad Dog

# ? Jun 6, 2023 02:27

Fifty Farts: Dec 23, 2013; - Meticulously Researched
- Peer-reviewed

It's not much of a legend or anything, but I've been enjoying Dongicus' Family Guy posts in the Seinfeld quote thread, and the thread regulars have decided to just go along with it. Anyone who's reported him or put him on ignore for it is a humorless dummy. The thread is over ten years old at this point, consisting almost entirely of people quoting Seinfeld (second-most-posted thing was obituaries for all the old actors on the show). Until Dongicus came along, the most interesting thing that happened there was when the thread title was "Ukraine is game to you?!," somebody thought it was a thread about the war in Ukraine and was very confused.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 03:24

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Endorph posted:

ichiban posting an internet thread about how he just got out of prison but every time a goon recommends he play a jrpg he goes 'i already played that'

or has a big flame war over the dragon quest job system

# ? Jun 6, 2023 06:56

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Babe Magnet posted:

townsends' food videos are all great but the secret best part of his channel is the updates on his dope rear end log cabin. the video where they built the well was enthralling

amen, dude should just keep building historical structures

there was another guy on pbs who had a reallly great historical cooking show in the 2000s, but I can�t remember his name. big ol� chubby German guy.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 07:54

a strange fowl: Oct 27, 2022

beats for junkies posted:

It's not much of a legend or anything, but I've been enjoying Dongicus' Family Guy posts in the Seinfeld quote thread

dongicus is the crown jewels of this community

also lol at your ten-year-old stupid newbie avatar, respect

# ? Jun 6, 2023 09:52

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

pentyne posted:

SALT CURES HAM

supposedly the crack house in New Orleans he went to visit her at.

Tries to plead for help in E/N, people bring up his crazy drug use bragging from CineD which ironically he shortly abandoned the thread because he left to visit the GF which led to him posting through it in the cineD chat thread.

See also: bragging about theater bjs

Last attempt was writing a later described fakepost E/N thread

This was depressing before I clocked that he was only like 19 and I don't know if that made it much worse or much funnier

# ? Jun 6, 2023 11:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Endorph posted:

ichiban posting an internet thread about how he just got out of prison but every time a goon recommends he play a jrpg he goes 'i already played that'

There's actually a joke where he's looking forward to catching up on a manga after 20 years but turns out it's spent almost all that time on hiatus

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

This was depressing before I clocked that he was only like 19 and I don't know if that made it much worse or much funnier

Honestly if anything makes it understandable as shut-in nerd long distance relationship shenanigans, it'd be a lot funnier/sadder if he was a lot older

Ghost Leviathan fucked around with this message at 12:55 on Jun 6, 2023

# ? Jun 6, 2023 12:46

Herstory Begins Now: Aug 5, 2003; SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

The Kins posted:

He's far from the most epic prison guy to ever grace these forums, for sure.

my favorite goon prison guy was the tcc one who used to show up at goon meets and steal everything but somehow he kept being allowed back to goonmeets where he'd proceed to steal everything and eventually invite a bunch of crackheads over who would proceed to steal whatever was left. this happened multiple times.

shockingly he ended up in prison

# ? Jun 6, 2023 13:05

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

Feels Villeneuve posted:

that guy is cool as hell

Feels Villeneuve posted:

let him trade his god drat fifa cards

Veev posted:

Asking where the birthday present is as Montressor adds another bar to the window.

This cask of amontillado got me bricked up.

Boba Pearl posted:

There is nothing I like about where the thread is headed, but also you should be able to talk about having an open relationship in a queer thread imo

# ? Jun 6, 2023 13:35

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There's actually a joke where he's looking forward to catching up on a manga after 20 years but turns out it's spent almost all that time on hiatus

that party conversation started to play for me just as a bunch of dumb mook enemies zeroed in on the party and i haven't gotten it to trigger again.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 13:49

Cranappleberry: Jan 27, 2009

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There's actually a joke where he's looking forward to catching up on a manga after 20 years but turns out it's spent almost all that time on hiatus

Honestly if anything makes it understandable as shut-in nerd long distance relationship shenanigans, it'd be a lot funnier/sadder if he was a lot older

hunter x hunter...

# ? Jun 6, 2023 13:57

Bluh: Dec 28, 2012

NoiseAnnoys posted:

amen, dude should just keep building historical structures

there was another guy on pbs who had a reallly great historical cooking show in the 2000s, but I can�t remember his name. big ol� chubby German guy.

Walter Staib of A Taste of History https://www.atasteofhistory.org/chef-walter-staib/

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:18

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Herstory Begins Now posted:

my favorite goon prison guy was the tcc one who used to show up at goon meets and steal everything but somehow he kept being allowed back to goonmeets where he'd proceed to steal everything and eventually invite a bunch of crackheads over who would proceed to steal whatever was left. this happened multiple times.

shockingly he ended up in prison

This America, man

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:21

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

Bluh posted:

Walter Staib of A Taste of History https://www.atasteofhistory.org/chef-walter-staib/

Yeeeeeeessssssss thanks!

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:23

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

sebmojo posted:

This America, man

lmao

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:30

Captain Invictus: Apr 5, 2005; Try reading some manga!; Clever Betty

Marcade posted:

All of this reminded me of when the Tony the Tiger twitter account got swarmed by horny furries. That's a thing I remember now.

Kelloggs thought they would get in on the hot new vtuber craze and debuted a Tony the Tiger vtuber.

I believe he lasted a single stream before Kelloggs shut it down permanently because the People Who Are Horny For Tony descended upon that stream like a category 5 hurricane

e: furricane

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:34

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Captain Invictus posted:

Kelloggs thought they would get in on the hot new vtuber craze and debuted a Tony the Tiger vtuber.

I believe he lasted a single stream before it was shut down for good because the People Who Are Horny For Tony descended upon that stream like a category 5 hurricane

e: furricane

I have learned of and blocked out the existence of such a Tony the Tiger fandom at least 3 times. Let us pray I block it out a 4th time.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:36

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I don't think kids even particularly like tony the tiger, do they? it's mostly the horny kind of furry?

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:40

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Plant MONSTER. posted:

I don't think kids even particularly like tony the tiger, do they? it's mostly the horny kind of furry?

I didnt think anyone liked tony. Or the smacks frog. Or the antisemitic count chocula. Or the land o lakes lady. Or wonder bread. People get really attached to brands/brand icons and its loving gross.

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:43

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

Lmao at the prison guy news, and as I pointed out prior to confirmation that this was fake, it is insanely funny to me that he named his prison best friend Lamar

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:47

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Just remembered I saw this interesting furry behaviour previously

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:47

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Grassy Knowles posted:

I didnt think anyone liked tony. Or the smacks frog. Or the antisemitic count chocula. Or the land o lakes lady. Or wonder bread. People get really attached to brands/brand icons and its loving gross.

Is count chocula anti-Semitic because he's a caricature or because of something else?

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:47

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:36

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

I wish people would stop being weird

# ? Jun 6, 2023 15:47

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

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