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Fifty Three posted:You're not missing much. It isn't always a sex dream that triggers it, often not a dream you remember at all. Yeah my recollection is that it would only be something really abstractly sexual, like I’m holding two balloons and press them together and I wake up ejaculating.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:00
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Amy Pole Her posted:Use a coworker as a personal reference I can do that. My coworker is pretty cool; I think he'd agree to let me use him as a reference. FizFashizzle posted:I’d absolutely never mention this job on a resume. uhhhhh... well that kinda sucks, since part of the reason I've been here so long was so I COULD put this job on a resume. I don't have a lot of work history as it is and I kinda needed this job to help pad that out. My last job before this one was in 2021 and lasted less than 2 weeks. The one before that only lasted about a month and a half. Granted both of those jobs were in car sales, but still. My resume is pretty bare.  C-Euro posted:Your employer just gave you a free if unpaid two weeks to find another job. Bust your rear end looking for something during that break and then on the last day of your suspension tell them that you aren't coming back. Be professional if/when you have to return any company-owned property, and for gently caress's sake don't list them as a reference going forward. I'll do this.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:01
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Bird in a Blender posted:You are definitely about to get fired. Just quit and find a new job man. This x1000 General Dog posted:Do you think she meant they practiced abstinence until they got married? Nope, she tried to claim they didn’t have sex cause they didn’t want a child yet or something similar that an entire class of 11-12 year olds all instantly knew was complete bullshit and not even a good lie. The next school year, we had a class across the hall from said teacher, and it was funny to us watching as she got larger until she went on maternity leave.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:02
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fartknocker posted:This x1000 I mean I guess it’s possible they finally just decided to have a kid, on purpose. But she sounds like an odd sort in any case.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:06
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You can list them on a resume. It doesn't matter, no one is going to call them. Use the coworker as a reference.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:07
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Timby posted:Just loving quit so you don't have to lie about being fired or asked to resign from a prior job. Tell them your two-week suspension is your two weeks' notice. One way or another, your time with this company is over. My only question right now is HOW do I quit? Like do I just send them an email saying "I quit", or is there some legal way I need to phrase it so it looks professional and they don't try to cut my pay for the work I already did last week and this week? I've never formally quit a job before, so this is something I actually have to ask now. EDIT: I guess what I'm asking is "How do I phrase the 'I Quit' email?" I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Jun 8, 2023 |
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Jun 8, 2023 19:11
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Just tell them when the two weeks is up and don't bother doing the crap they stipulated. Start job hunting hard. Also, don't spend the two weeks looking for the Mines of Moria so you can walk to the surface.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:15
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I. M. Gei posted:uhhhhh... well that kinda sucks, since part of the reason I've been here so long was so I COULD put this job on a resume. I don't have a lot of work history as it is and I kinda needed this job to help pad that out. Yeah you kinda hosed that plan when you basically defrauded your employer. Im kind of pissed at you for making me take sides with a small business tyrant, but I would’ve fired you on the spot. It was really really careless to give them an airtight case to fire you for cause instead of laying you off (with poss severance and unemployment eligibility). Christ I need a shower now. In short: FizFashizzle posted:It’s been very noble of you not work and take care of your sick family member these last nine months (hope they don’t check payroll databases)
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Jun 8, 2023 19:20
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No Butt Stuff posted:You can list them on a resume. It doesn't matter, no one is going to call them. Use the coworker as a reference. I'd imagine that the laws vary by state, but when I left my last job (based in NJ) HR during the exit interview told me to my face that they could only answer the following questions during a "reference check" on a former employee: -Was this person ever employed here? -What were their dates of employment? -What position(s) did they hold (and nothing about what they actually did AFAIK)? Might be worth seeing what the labor laws in TX say on the matter. Of course, it's just as likely that NBS is correct and no HR grunt screening resumes will look deeper into it than "does the company listed on this resume actually exist?" I. M. Gei posted:My only question right now is HOW do I quit? "I am tendering my resignation from [COMPANY NAME], effective [DATE AFTER WHICH YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SHOW UP ANYMORE]. I am grateful for the opportunity to have been part of this organization." If you think they're going to fire you at your evaluation, list that date as the day of said evaluation and send the email out the day before. E: I really can't shake the feeling that I'm/we're being trolled, but I'm too nice for my own good and will continue to spew employment advice at you until you actually listen! C-Euro fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Jun 8, 2023 |
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Jun 8, 2023 19:24
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I. M. Gei, if you're not trolling, you should seek out some form of career counseling and find a qualified professional who can help you get your poo poo together and find some path forward that leads to legitimate, stable employment.
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Jun 8, 2023 19:32
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Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:If there's one thing goons love to do, it's ignore common sense advice, so I expect him to report in two weeks "whelp I did a whole bunch of free work and training in my personal time over the last two weeks when I could have been looking for a job then they fired me."
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Jun 8, 2023 19:39
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I am not trolling. Jesus Christ. Right now I'm just trying to figure out how to type my resignation email. My head is loving killing me and I have a bajillion questions about how to do this professionally with 2 weeks notice and I'm not sure where to begin. C-Euro posted:I'd imagine that the laws vary by state, but when I left my last job (based in NJ) HR during the exit interview told me to my face that they could only answer the following questions during a "reference check" on a former employee: I've had actual hiring managers in TX tell me they don't look into things listed on peoples' resumes hardly at all. C-Euro posted:"I am tendering my resignation from [COMPANY NAME], effective [DATE AFTER WHICH YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SHOW UP ANYMORE]. I am grateful for the opportunity to have been part of this organization." If you think they're going to fire you at your evaluation, list that date as the day of said evaluation and send the email out the day before. If I remember right, my contract requires me to give 2 weeks notice before quitting. Should I not send an additional email for that part today as well? I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Jun 8, 2023 |
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Jun 8, 2023 19:52
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It's pretty easy to google how to write a resignation email. Also, someone basically posted what to write on this page. Do you really need your hand held through everything?
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Jun 8, 2023 19:55
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wandler20 posted:It's pretty easy to google how to write a resignation email. Also, someone basically posted what to write on this page. Do you really need your hand held through everything? ok, but what font??????
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Jun 8, 2023 19:56
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I. M. Gei posted:I am not trolling. Jesus Christ. google "two weeks notice template", copy and paste that into an email, and fill in your supervisor's name, the company name, etc. work until the date you put on the notice or they say, "we're all set. you don't need to work the 2 weeks notice" because they're probably pretty upset with you right now
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Jun 8, 2023 20:00
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Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:ok, but what font?????? Papyrus
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Jun 8, 2023 20:02
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No Butt Stuff posted:You can list them on a resume. It doesn't matter, no one is going to call them. Use the coworker as a reference. The only job he’s had in how long? I hire someone maybe every 2-3 months and I absolutely call them. I have to believe other companies would do the same
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Jun 8, 2023 20:02
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The main thing I remember about DARE is after figuring out how much they lied to me about pot, I started wondering if heroin was actually as dangerous as they claimed. Thankfully I never actually tried to find out first hand. I.M. Gei, pretty much no one actually checks your references, definitely quit before you get fired on the off chance the next place you want to work actually does call (I'm pretty sure they won't, I've lied about not being fired and got away with it, including to USPS). I'm betting they are suspending you in hopes you'll quit before they have to fire you because they don't want to pay you unemployment they probably have a good case for it, it's probably still more annoying to have to file that paperwork then it is to get you to quit.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:06
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They will be happy you sent in your two weeks notice and probably just say adios. This absolves them from any unemployment claims (even though they would have a solid case for denying you a claim depending on state). Also, do not worry about pay for time worked. America is a employment hellscape, but one hard and fast rule is that you must be paid for hours worked. If you also work on a commission and anything is fraudulent based on that, that's another story. But your base/hourly pay is guaranteed. And yeah, professionalism went out the window with this place a long time ago, there is nothing to gain from either side with fancy letters and $5 words. Just send an email saying "Thank you for the opportunity but I am resigning at the end of the two week period which also satisfies the two week notice as required by my contract." Thats it, no muss, no fuss.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:07
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Ehud posted:google "two weeks notice template", copy and paste that into an email, and fill in your supervisor's name, the company name, etc. Thank you, that makes it easier. I'm sorry for bombing this thread with dumb questions. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed and dizzy over all of this and it's making it really hard for me to think. Like I said, I've never done this before and I appreciate all of y'all's help.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:09
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swickles posted:They will be happy you sent in your two weeks notice and probably just say adios. This absolves them from any unemployment claims (even though they would have a solid case for denying you a claim depending on state). Also, do not worry about pay for time worked. America is a employment hellscape, but one hard and fast rule is that you must be paid for hours worked. If you also work on a commission and anything is fraudulent based on that, that's another story. But your base/hourly pay is guaranteed. And yeah, professionalism went out the window with this place a long time ago, there is nothing to gain from either side with fancy letters and $5 words. Just send an email saying "Thank you for the opportunity but I am resigning at the end of the two week period which also satisfies the two week notice as required by my contract." Thats it, no muss, no fuss. I retract my previous resignation letter idea and support this instead. You already weren't getting paid while you were suspended anyway. Tell them today that you're resigning in two weeks, take the rest of the day off from job hunting, go to bed early, and go nuts on it tomorrow. E: and for gently caress's sake don't let any prospective employer find out that you defrauded a previous employer. Unless you defrauded them for enough money to make the local news, it's likely that they will only find out if you somehow tell them! C-Euro fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Jun 8, 2023 |
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Jun 8, 2023 20:18
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No Butt Stuff posted:You can list them on a resume. It doesn't matter, no one is going to call them. Use the coworker as a reference. In fact I've been having trouble in the opposite fashion, more and more companies don't want to give references to future employers and now have a policy of not doing that. I've had to reach out to specific people and ask a favor for them to give me a reference as you can't go through HR anymore. @I. M. Gei, here's what I'd do. -take the two week suspension, don't tell them you're quitting -look hard for a new job and use them on your resume but use your coworker as the contact -say you are currently employed but seeking offers, a lot of places like to hire people away from other companies -do your damndest to gtfo of sales like this. They are usually the shittiest of people. Well, second shittiest, the first being the cave dwellers that work in collections. -sign up at a temporary employment agency. Temping can be immediate money and then if they like you they often hire you full time and it can be a way into new industries. Also don't let people get you down about falsifying the sales thing, some companies in sales have irrational demands and can force you into doing something stupid like this. Wash your hands of it and use it moving forward that you want to stay on the up and up and getting into a solid company without bullshit is step 1 to being that kind of employee.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:21
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I. M. Gei posted:Thank you, that makes it easier. If anything, just take a deep breath and calm down. You’re getting good advice and help, just breathe.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:21
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Wait that’s a great point - were your commissions in any way based on these fraudulent numbers? This is a landscape company. You’re not in any real trouble or danger. Keep perspective here - do what you’ve known you need to do. Find a new way to make your living. You’ve have major red flags for months and months. Honestly I don’t remember a single positive post about the job
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Jun 8, 2023 20:21
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fartknocker posted:DARE in elementary school in the 90s was like 75% don’t smoke cigarettes, 15% marijuana is bad, 10% everything else (Namely alcohol) is bad, so don’t do any of it. Granted, I went to a then new, clean elementary school in the suburbs that mostly drew from upper-middle class neighborhoods, so it was mostly white and it’s not like anyone was gonna get offered a loosey on the corner or poo poo like that. I'm in NC, tobacco country. DARE was 80% Marijhuana bad, 10% other harder drugs are also bad, 10% alcohol in excess is bad. No mention of tobacco use at all, except maybe "Don't chew tobacco, your jaw will fall off"
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Jun 8, 2023 20:27
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Oh since Pat Robertson got brought up too. https://twitter.com/DarylSurat/status/1666795056278261763?s=20
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Jun 8, 2023 20:34
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Man, Keith David owns.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:35
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Dude is going to make history as the eponym of a FEC rule prohibiting this https://twitter.com/BenjySarlin/status/1666868635866890254?t=PruIaTAvuGhyvpjJ7urarw&s=19
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Jun 8, 2023 20:35
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kiimo posted:In fact I've been having trouble in the opposite fashion, more and more companies don't want to give references to future employers and now have a policy of not doing that. iirc our HR policy is they can only verify if the person ever worked here or not. Like, yes, I can confirm that person was an employee here, discussion over.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:45
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Air Skwirl posted:Oh since Pat Robertson got brought up too. Haha, what the hell is this from?
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Jun 8, 2023 20:47
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Tales from the Hood something or other
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Jun 8, 2023 20:48
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Blowjob Overtime posted:iirc our HR policy is they can only verify if the person ever worked here or not. Like, yes, I can confirm that person was an employee here, discussion over. Yeah, a lot of states have anti-disparagement laws so that is basically all you can inquire about. Yes, they worked here from X date until Y date as whatever job title(s). I know you can also ask about licensing (i.e. were they licensed when they started and for the length of their employment) for things like healthcare, or probably anything else that requires a state issued license.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:51
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Bird in a Blender posted:Haha, what the hell is this from? Tales from the Hood 2.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:52
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Air Skwirl posted:Oh since Pat Robertson got brought up too.  this is incredible I’ve watched it like 10 straight times
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Jun 8, 2023 20:53
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Keith David was great in Nope.
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Jun 8, 2023 20:57
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C-Euro posted:E: I really can't shake the feeling that I'm/we're being trolled, but I'm too nice for my own good and will continue to spew employment advice at you until you actually listen!
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Jun 8, 2023 20:57
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When i got laid off there were a lot of resources available to me through the unemployment office. Including access to job fairs and worker retraining programs Quit the job. Get in a retraining program for something while you do something menial for a temp agency imo Stop avoiding
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Jun 8, 2023 21:03
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References are dumb as poo poo and I’ve neither had them called on my behalf or called any as a part of a hiring process. Oh word, your friend from your last job says you’re a great guy? This is definitely going to factor in to my decision making
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Jun 8, 2023 21:07
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swickles posted:Dude is going to make history as the eponym of a FEC rule prohibiting this There has to be a bunch of actual photos of Trump shaking hands with Fauci or something, so it's a completely unnecessary fraud anyways.
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Jun 8, 2023 21:08
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Where is the leftist critique of how labor's power has been suppressed in part because so many parts of the job-hunting process has been engineered to be as annoying, obtuse, or demoralizing as possible? Cover letters, references, those applications that make you upload a resume and then just re-type everything into an online form? Someone's definitely written about this right
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Jun 8, 2023 21:18
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