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the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
It seems like most houses have doors that are fairly difficult to lock yourself out of and if you have one that locks automatically behind you that's the kind of thing that you train yourself out of doing very quickly, so happening to accidentally lock yourself out of the house in the middle of a big event your partner wanted to do for themselves seems like a bit of a coincidence :shrug:

Not saying she definitely did it on purpose but I get why the suspicion is there.

Cythereal posted:

Well that's new.

Did they get invaded or something? Seems like it kind of defeats the purpose of a Q&A advice board.

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Paper Tiger
Jun 17, 2007

🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

Cythereal posted:



Well that's new.

I think it's part of a protest about Reddit shutting off third party access to their API, a bunch of subreddits are apparently going private for a few days

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Cythereal posted:



Well that's new.

Could be a protest move? Several other high-profile communities are going private in response to Reddit loving third-party apps off the platform

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Cythereal posted:



Well that's new.

Probably related to the thing with Reddit management and third-party apps

E: beaten twice while typing

Jabor
Jul 16, 2010

#1 Loser at SpaceChem
A bunch of subreddits are turning themselves off today to protest against Reddit banning third-party clients.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

haveblue posted:

Could be a protest move? Several other high-profile communities are going private in response to Reddit loving third-party apps off the platform

Boooo! productivity at work! :(

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



haveblue posted:

Could be a protest move? Several other high-profile communities are going private in response to Reddit loving third-party apps off the platform
AITA posted a message saying they’re also doing the same thing from the 12th to 14th.

Atticus_1354
Dec 10, 2006

barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

deety posted:

I really don't get why folks are assuming the locked out OP did it on purpose to spoil her poor partner's day.

You're right. She might also be so totally helpless that she can't function at all without his direct intervention so she would just rather ruin his day instead of googling "locksmith", crawling in through a window, or bringing her own keys to her house.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



e: had the tab open longer than I thought

Captain Hygiene fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Jun 12, 2023

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"
When Apollo gets shut off at the end of the month I’ll never think about Reddit again other than this thread

deety
Aug 2, 2004

zombies + sharks = fun

Pirate Radar posted:

I think it’s because instead of trying to fix the problem herself she insisted her partner had to cut short an activity that was important to him, and people itt are predisposed to think that someone doing that is feigning or resorting to helplessness in order to undercut their partner’s activities independent of them out of jealousy or a desire to isolate the partner from a social support network or career path that predates the relationship, to make it harder to leave.

I mean, this is definitely a thing that happens, but also... Sometimes people just lock themselves out? My husband and I need our hidden key a couple of times a year, and we've both ended up in situations where one of us had to bail on plans to help the other one out. Strangely enough, neither of us assumed that the other was trying to rob the other of friendship and/or joy. The post claims that OP's husband had 3 1/2 hours at the con before she even went to the store. In the comments she said she thought a locksmith was too expensive, and he was only a 15 minute drive away. So he could have skipped out on the con for a little over a half hour and then gone back for the rest of the afternoon.

I guess I don't understand demonizing a generic OP who posted to get a read on whether or not she was unreasonable when there are absolute weirdos like this to talk poo poo about instead:

Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?

quote:

So this month her mom was on hospice and me and her were staying at the apartment until she died. She was on if for 8 days, and she just died yesterday morning. During that time, we both were in the room sitting down in a chair. My girlfriend got up and went to the kitchen and started calling different places and she was calling family members and everything. I was left in the room by myself and her body was right there. I started having a intrusive thought. The thought was, what would happen if I messed around with her body in a playful way. My girlfriend is in the other room, I'm by myself. I looked at the doorway to see if she was coming. I waited a few seconds and then I did my move and I started moving her mouth like she was pretend talking and moving her hand. When I was doing it, I was thinking in my head what she was saying.

And right in the middle of it, my girlfriend walked in and I stopped immediately and I got scared. She asked me what was I just doing. I told her I was just shaking her hand in a way of saying goodbye, it's not what it appeared to be or look like. I talked to her more and eventually my girlfriend let it go. Even after letting it go she didn't seem pleased.

kdrudy
Sep 19, 2009

i am a moron posted:

When Apollo gets shut off at the end of the month I’ll never think about Reddit again other than this thread

Pretty much the same for me with RIF, I'll just quietly not use it very much which is what I expect a bunch of people will do.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

deety posted:

I guess I don't understand demonizing a generic OP who posted to get a read on whether or not she was unreasonable when there are absolute weirdos like this to talk poo poo about instead:

Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?

That's.....:yikes:

TheDeadlyShoe
Feb 14, 2014

i can understand how you can lock yourself out of a car. But a house? Idk, everywhere I've lived its impossible. I only bother with hiding a spare key because I'm a fuckin idiot and there's no telling what dumbass move i'll pull next.

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

deety posted:

Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?
There’s no way you can have the self-awareness to write that title and not correct it to “ex-girlfriend’s”

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

FMguru posted:

Today's theme seems to be spouses that sabotage their partner's every attempt to have even a sliver of life away from them.

AITA for prioritizing drinks with colleagues over my husband's struggle with dinner?

Do you think this one is A the husband being such a baby that he literally cant figure out how to feed himself without his wife doing it for him? Or B husband punishing the wife for daring to leave the house?

And either way, she must have known that he was this kind of arsehole before she married him, shouldn't she?

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

i can understand how you can lock yourself out of a car. But a house? Idk, everywhere I've lived its impossible. I only bother with hiding a spare key because I'm a fuckin idiot and there's no telling what dumbass move i'll pull next.

...How is it impossible for you to lock yourself out of a house?

olylifter
Sep 13, 2007

I'm bad with money and you have an avatar!

deety posted:

I mean, this is definitely a thing that happens, but also... Sometimes people just lock themselves out? My husband and I need our hidden key a couple of times a year, and we've both ended up in situations where one of us had to bail on plans to help the other one out. Strangely enough, neither of us assumed that the other was trying to rob the other of friendship and/or joy. The post claims that OP's husband had 3 1/2 hours at the con before she even went to the store. In the comments she said she thought a locksmith was too expensive, and he was only a 15 minute drive away. So he could have skipped out on the con for a little over a half hour and then gone back for the rest of the afternoon.

I guess I don't understand demonizing a generic OP who posted to get a read on whether or not she was unreasonable when there are absolute weirdos like this to talk poo poo about instead:

Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?

r/relationships:Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Midnight Voyager posted:

...How is it impossible for you to lock yourself out of a house?

They’re saying they’ve only lived places you have to lock the door behind you when you leave, so if the door is locked you must have the keys.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Pirate Radar posted:

They’re saying they’ve only lived places you have to lock the door behind you when you leave, so if the door is locked you must have the keys.

I was suspicious the moment I saw them use 13:30 for the time, I've only seen that type of door used by the godless heathens of Europe

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

Why would you design a door that automatically locks itself even when you don't want it to? It's like you're deliberately designing it to trap people on one side of it.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

The Lone Badger posted:

Why would you design a door that automatically locks itself even when you don't want it to? It's like you're deliberately designing it to trap people on one side of it.

There's usually a latch on the inside that you can turn to have the handle lock or not, separate from any deadbolt (which would prevent the door from being shut when it's engaged).

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Captain Hygiene posted:

I was suspicious the moment I saw them use 13:30 for the time, I've only seen that type of door used by the godless heathens of Europe

What’s the name for the kind of doorknob that has a toggle switch for locked/unlocked on the inside, and opening with a key doesn’t change the mode?
What I think of as a normal doorknob.

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


deety posted:

Was I wrong for playing with my girlfriends moms dead body?

:stare:

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012

Midnight Voyager posted:

...How is it impossible for you to lock yourself out of a house?

If the lock requires you to use the key to lock it from outside.

tinytort
Jun 10, 2013

Super healthy, super cheap

Cythereal posted:



Well that's new.

Um, yeah, a majority of the subreddits are going dark in support of the protest against Reddit pulling the plug on using an API that 3rd party apps can access/afford. One of the biggest issues is that the change completely guts any support for screen readers, which makes it impossible for blind users to interact.

Paper Tiger posted:

I think it's part of a protest about Reddit shutting off third party access to their API, a bunch of subreddits are apparently going private for a few days

It's this, yeah. They've all been warning for a few days now that they're going dark and there's no expected return date, just a promise that they'll assess where things are at after 48 hours. r/AmITheDevil already went dark.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Tendales posted:

If the lock requires you to use the key to lock it from outside.
every apartment I've ever lived in, this is the kind of locks they've had. They also usually have at least one other lock that can't be accessed from outside, that you lock when you go to bed so even if someone does decide to pick the lock it's still got another bolt in it.

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA is going to be blacked out for two days too, starting tomorrow

AITA for refusing to give my stepsister a piece of art after finding out she was planning to sell it?

quote:

My (26F) dad passed away a few months ago. He and my mother were divorced, and his second wife passed away a couple of years ago, so I was the sole beneficiary of his will. Among his possessions was a painting which was chosen by his late wife to decorate their marital home, it was something of a wedding celebration present. His wife didn't work, my father bought the painting, the paperwork was all in his name etc. so it was included as part of his estate.

His late wife had a daughter, "Ellie" (27F). Ellie contacted me some time ago asking if there was any way I would consider letting her have the painting since her mother loved it so much and it had sentimental value to her. I was a little suspicious of this because if this was the case, surely she could have asked my father for it after her mother's passing, but nevertheless I considered it. The piece is worth - by most standards - a lot of money and it's beautiful, so I wasn't pleased to part with it but since I never planned to sell it and it was not a piece that held any special significance to me amongst my father's collection, I decided I would gift it to her. I let her know I would make the arrangements to have it shipped, and straighten out all the paperwork.

About a week ago, I got a call from a friend of mine, who works at the gallery where my father purchased a lot of his art (she was his dealer, that is how we became friends). She let me know that Ellie had contacted her, looking for a valuation and information on selling the artwork that I was going to give her. My friend called me because she didn't know who Ellie was, but she knew the piece belonged to my father and it is one of a kind, so she was concerned about someone trying to fence it. This made me feel like a complete idiot, because I thought I was gifting Ellie what she considered a piece of her mother, to essentially gifting her a large sum of money got by subterfuge. I called Ellie to ask her what was going on and she reluctantly confirmed that she was planning to sell it. I said I wouldn't feel good about giving her one of my father's possessions just so she can sell it (especially after being lied to) and she said that was none of my business, and I should give it to her anyway since that money would mean more to her than the painting ever had to me.

Everyone I've asked for advice on what to do has some skin in the game, so to speak, so I just want an outside opinion. AITA for not giving her the painting?

EDIT- everyone is asking if Ellie got any inheritance from her mother. She received her mother’s small life insurance policy, and all her mother’s personal belongings.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
How Can I Win My Wife Back? (M38) (F31)

quote:

Throwaway Account:

Hey guys, first time I've ever been on reddit. Need some advice. My wife asked for a divorce a little over a month ago. Weve been married 12 years. I knew for a long time that she's been wanting this. A few times she has said it then let it go over time. I was hoping this time would be the same.

I've continually asked her why she is so unhappy. She said that she doesn't feel like we are a team for some reason. She keeps mentioning household chores and that I can't see what needs to be done. I have ADHD and possibly bipolar disorder so it's hard for me to have any sort of motivation.

She suggested a chore chart, but I'm almost 40 years old. That idea was super insulting. After all I've done for her. She got to stay at home with the kids for 10 years and not have to worry about a job while I worked constantly. I supported her when she wanted to go to college online and then eventually in person. I switched my schedule around so that I could be home at night with the kids for her. I thought that was a team? I work and she takes care of the home. I also make sure to reduce the clothes I wear and dishes I eat off of so she has less to do. She used to mow the yard till she mentioned that she wanted me to do that, I thought she liked the exercise.

I spoil her with anything she could want, she never has to ask for anything, it's always a yes. She now works fulltime, but she has a nice remote job and a lot of times during a lunch she's able to knock out a lot of the chores.

Recently she twisted my arm into taking out a HELOC to buy her out from the house. She wants an uncontested divorce, but we have to agree on everything beforehand. When she told me she wanted a divorce, something had to give. I couldn't lose everything so I eventually talked her into letting me keep the family home. I also graciously paid off her car as well as all our mutual debt.

She keeps pushing me to go ahead and file paperwork, something about how that makes it legal..I told her she can keep her name on the deed to the house, she doesn't need to go through lawyers to get a mortgage, I didn't have to. I took out that HELOC in just my name and let her move her half to a separate account.

I dont know what to do. I've talked her into two family vacations in the last few months hoping that she'd change her mind about all this. I let her go out with friends that I've never met, despite my mind telling me something is up. No one destroys their family over a few chores, she has to be wanting out for a different reason.

I keep stalling when she asks if we should tell the kids. I convinced her to sleep in the bed still with me, but I haven't touched her or said ILY.

I wish I knew how to win her back. I was hoping her seeing us having fun as a family or giving her freedom to be with her friends was enough. She hasn't willingly wanted to have sex with me in years. When I ask why, she said that she feels unsafe to express her kinks or something. She's always wanting rough sex that im not comfortable with or toys, why can't my body be enough for her? I feel like crap.

She keeps coming up with "solutions" like reducing my child support and stuff, but I'll barely be getting by once she leaves and we went so long not having a mortgage to me now having to pay one monthly to pay this loan back.

What a peach! But wait, there's more.....

top comment posted:

You've been married for 12 years, you mentioned. How long have you been together total?

EDIT: Since OP has massively omitted numerous critical pieces of information, I'll share them below.

* He "doesn't believe in doctors"

* Their daughter has ADHD too

* His wife was 18 and he was 25 when they started dating (19 and 26 upon marriage), and she was 19 and 22 with their kids

* He "opted not to get health insurance"

* His wife has repeatedly asked him for marriage counseling over the years and he has refused

* He "changed the first diaper" at the hospital for both kids and then "assumed she had it taken care of" for years with their two children

* He repeatedly devalues his wife's physical and emotional labor

* When asked how or if he's parented over the years, he said "I help with the kids when she needed me to watch them for night classes. I take them shopping and stuff."

* He doesn't think her having a full-time, remote job really counts as working

* His wife has literally had to point out to him that he doesn't "interact much" with his own children

* Is fixated on the idea of his wife cheating (zero evidence for such) instead of his own bad behavior

* Is upset that whenever he asked his wife for sex after she'd clearly informed him she was no longer in love, she "couldn't do the one thing for me I asked."

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Pirate Radar posted:

They’re saying they’ve only lived places you have to lock the door behind you when you leave, so if the door is locked you must have the keys.

I do too, but I can just twist the lock on the inside without needing the key. If you need the key to lock it, that makes sense!

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Evil Willow posted:

How Can I Win My Wife Back? (M38) (F31)

What a peach! But wait, there's more.....

~~i WiSh I kNeW hOw tO wIn HeR bAcK~~

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
my prize trophy turned into a human being and is leaving me, how do i get this back on a video game footing, reddit

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Buddy, I have ADHD, probably autism, CPTSD/quiet BPD, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic insomnia, I'm 40 years old, and I use a loving chore list. Because I want to be better than a piece of poo poo.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Is my boyfriend too obsessed with his friend or am I being crazy?

quote:

So I (20f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together for a while. We’ve always had issues with him prioritizing his friends over me in the past and now it’s happening again but so much worse. He has this one friend (18m) that he’s pretty much obsessed with.

This particular friend and I do not get along for various reasons. Mainly because he feels it’s okay to yell at me and talk down to me. What’s worse is that he has done this multiple times in front of my boyfriend but when I say something my boyfriend gets mad at ME because “he’s my friend and he’s just joking stop being such a bitch”. I’ve brought it up multiple times how it makes me uncomfortable that he hangs out with someone who so openly disrespects me and our relationship but he says I’m crazy because he’s a guy.

It’s gotten to the point where he talks to him everyday and takes him everywhere. If he goes to the store he picks up his friend just to tag along, if he plays something he only plays with his friend, even to his house he’ll take him when he needs to pick something up. He takes him everywhere yet never me because “I don’t like him and so I don’t want him to be uncomfortable with you” amongst other things. He won’t make plans with me because they could intrude with their plans, and not to mention on the rare chance we do make plans he always tried to leave early to hang out with him and never actually plans anything the way he does with his friend. I have to be the one to make the plan for us if not we’d do nothing. He also got him a job at our shared job so they’re together literally everyday. He’s always texting and taking to him when I barely get a text or snap back most days.

And again every time I bring it up he yells at me saying that I’m being crazy and controlling and that I don’t want him to have friends and that I’m worrying for nothing because he’s a guy. Before someone asks I’ve asked him multiple times if he’s gay and in love with him and he says no he’s just his friend. He’s never had a boyfriend or done anything with men, only women before and not expressed interest in guys In that manner so I think he’s telling the truth but who really knows. Im so lost and so tired of arguing about this and feeling like I’m third wheeling them. So am I wrong and being crazy or is he going too far?

TDLR: boyfriend is too obsessed with his guy friend that he’s neglecting me and our relationship.

Few months before...

My boyfriend always has scratch marks on his body that he claims he gets in his sleep. Am I being paranoid or is he telling the truth?

quote:

Basically as the title says my boyfriend of a year always has scratch marks on him. They’ll be on his chest and all over his back and arms. He’s claimed time and time again that he gets them in his sleep but he has a habit of biting his nails so he doesn’t have any to have caused those scratches. And those on his back are the ones that I doubt the most cuz there’s no way he could’ve done them himself.

Before anyone asks no I didn’t do them.

Every time I ask him about it he gets defensive and starts yelling at me for asking about it saying, “oh it’s cuz you just want me to be cheating on you so ok then” and all this other stuff.

There’s been multiple instances of this happening and I’ve tried to believe him but literally not an hour ago I saw some more marks on his back and the same fight happened all over again when I asked him about them. am I being stupid in trying to believe or is he lying to me?

TDRL: my boyfriend always has unexplained scratch marks on him.

Oh honey...

The Maroon Hawk
May 10, 2008

The snort I let out at that second title :lol:

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.

deety posted:

I mean, this is definitely a thing that happens, but also... Sometimes people just lock themselves out? My husband and I need our hidden key a couple of times a year, and we've both ended up in situations where one of us had to bail on plans to help the other one out. Strangely enough, neither of us assumed that the other was trying to rob the other of friendship and/or joy. The post claims that OP's husband had 3 1/2 hours at the con before she even went to the store. In the comments she said she thought a locksmith was too expensive, and he was only a 15 minute drive away. So he could have skipped out on the con for a little over a half hour and then gone back for the rest of the afternoon.

If it's a con that doesn't let you use your armband to skip the queue when coming back, maybe he would have needed to join the queue all over again. If he went to the con at 10am, he could have only gotten in at like, 11:30, those wait times can be horrendous.

I mean, logically he should have come back and made his wife happy. But hopefully the lesson is 'keep a spare key somewhere for emergencies, even if it's with a friend', not 'one of them is a horrible person, sever'.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

i am a moron posted:

When Apollo gets shut off at the end of the month I’ll never think about Reddit again other than this thread

But haven’t you heard? Apollo blackmailed Reddit, demanding they pay ten million dollars to keep Apollo going!*

*according to Reddit

The Apollo guy told reddit their model would cost him ten million a year for all the API calls, and offered to sell them Apollo instead of just shutting it down.

edogawa rando
Mar 20, 2007

Paper Tiger posted:

I think it's part of a protest about Reddit shutting off third party access to their API, a bunch of subreddits are apparently going private for a few days

Yep.

Bright Bart
Apr 27, 2020

False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Buddy, I have ADHD, probably autism, CPTSD/quiet BPD, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, chronic insomnia, I'm 40 years old, and I use a loving chore list. Because I want to be better than a piece of poo poo.

Chore lists are useful and effective unless you're living with adversarial roommates and one takes it upon themselves to impose a chore wheel with your tasks at really inconvenient times or dates, or they make it look like everyone has an equal share by itemizing their taks into small components while grouping several tasks into one like "kitchen duties" for others.

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Bobstar
Feb 8, 2006

KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

Hughlander posted:


My boyfriend always has scratch marks on his body that he claims he gets in his sleep. Am I being paranoid or is he telling the truth?


Oh honey...

If a men has scorch masks, does that mean he's cheating with his best friend.?

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