Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

I'm just getting tired of waiting for the next crash. :mad:

To my eye Bitcoin is still managing to prop up the bubble that formed during the pandemic, but if that finally bursts I'd expect the "value" to drop well under $10k per coin.

# ? Jun 10, 2023 22:06

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 11:02

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

This is answered with a simple question: who is buying Bitcoin?

# ? Jun 10, 2023 22:37

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

it was me

sorry everybody

# ? Jun 10, 2023 22:43

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

ikanreed posted:

This is answered with a simple question: who is buying Bitcoin?

For twelve years, you have been asking, "Who is ~~John Galt~~ buying this stupid bullshit?" This is ~~John Galt~~ the guy who's been buying this stupid bullshit speaking.

# ? Jun 10, 2023 22:46

A Long Way Down: Jul 14, 2009; I am Jack's complete lack of surprise; Grimey Drawer

Seems like there are always new rubes getting in to crypto, last week a co-worker asked my opinion on crypto because he�d just started buying nfts (in 2023!) and he�s been watching YouTube videos by this guy Gary Vee.

How is this still happening?

# ? Jun 11, 2023 17:37

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

A Long Way Down posted:

Seems like there are always new rubes getting in to crypto, last week a co-worker asked my opinion on crypto because he�d just started buying nfts (in 2023!) and he�s been watching YouTube videos by this guy Gary Vee.

How is this still happening?

Did you show them the Slurp Juice?

# ? Jun 11, 2023 17:56

A Long Way Down: Jul 14, 2009; I am Jack's complete lack of surprise; Grimey Drawer

Boxturret posted:

Did you show them the Slurp Juice?

I was going to have him watch Line Goes Up but that might be faster.

# ? Jun 11, 2023 18:15

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Wait, Gary Vee...his nfts are these lol

he might be too far gone if this is enticing to him

# ? Jun 11, 2023 18:23

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

The beaver holding dollar sign bags is a little on the nose, isn't it?

# ? Jun 11, 2023 18:27

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Heath posted:

The beaver holding dollar sign bags is a little on the nose, isn't it?

Well it's the best chance some of these guys will ever get at finding some beaver, or cash.

# ? Jun 11, 2023 19:40

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Heath posted:

The beaver holding dollar sign bags is a little on the nose, isn't it?

Additionally, why the gently caress did they draw a bunny with too many fingers? That's loving creepy.

# ? Jun 11, 2023 20:44

Strong Sauce: Jul 2, 2003; You know I am not really your father.

https://twitter.com/JayShams/status/1667896580601524224

# ? Jun 11, 2023 23:25

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Strong Sauce posted:

https://twitter.com/JayShams/status/1667896580601524224

Now THIS is great for bitcoin!

# ? Jun 12, 2023 00:09

drk: Jan 16, 2005

so who is selling these to north koreans for axie infinity tokens

# ? Jun 12, 2023 00:32

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

drk posted:

so who is selling these to north koreans for axie infinity tokens

p sure you can drive that truck in snowrunner

# ? Jun 12, 2023 01:03

BetterToRuleInHell: Jul 2, 2007; Touch my mask top
Get the chop chop

Guys I don't know what the gently caress is going with the SEC and buttcoin

Just tell me, are my apes still slurpable

# ? Jun 12, 2023 01:27

Mad Dragon: Feb 29, 2004

notwithoutmyanus posted:

Additionally, why the gently caress did they draw a bunny with too many fingers? That's loving creepy.

NFT imitates AI

# ? Jun 12, 2023 03:56

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

ikanreed posted:

This is answered with a simple question: who is buying Bitcoin?

My dad started buying in Jan 2022 then he didn't talk about it for a long time after the crash, until a few weeks ago when he said he's still buying the dip.

I was hoping the crash made him memory hole the whole thing out of embarrassment since I told him not to buy it but nope.

# ? Jun 12, 2023 18:52

SettingSun: Aug 10, 2013

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

# ? Jun 12, 2023 19:16

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

SettingSun posted:

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

"Great Leader, can we eat these 'bit coins'?"

# ? Jun 12, 2023 19:19

Hello Sailor: May 3, 2006; we're all mad here

SettingSun posted:

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

clearly they must have discovered the secret of extracting energy from them

# ? Jun 12, 2023 19:40

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

They ran the bitcoin miners in reverse

# ? Jun 12, 2023 19:55

JammyB: May 23, 2001; I slept with Mary and Joseph never found out

Bitcoin-tipped ICBMs

# ? Jun 12, 2023 20:59

drk: Jan 16, 2005

SettingSun posted:

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

VitalSigns posted:

My dad started buying in Jan 2022

# ? Jun 12, 2023 21:14

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

SettingSun posted:

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

All the exchanges who aren't following know your customer best practices. Like that's the basic feature that would get North Korea into the mix whether they are stealing things or not.

# ? Jun 12, 2023 21:16

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

SettingSun posted:

How is North Korea converting their stolen btc into a useable form?

Many questions.

*You* have questions. The exchanges that facilitate money laundering and don't require KYC, do not have questions.

I was sent this from the old crypto gang. Apparently this implies something other than dumb luck and hides that it's not implausible this cost someone way, way more than 160k.

# ? Jun 12, 2023 21:47

Southern Cassowary: Jan 3, 2023

lol is that a colloidal silver guy

# ? Jun 12, 2023 21:58

SettingSun: Aug 10, 2013

If anything that reinforces that winning a block is blind luck. Lottery level odds, even.

# ? Jun 12, 2023 22:23

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

notwithoutmyanus posted:

*You* have questions. The exchanges that facilitate money laundering and don't require KYC, do not have questions.

I was sent this from the old crypto gang. Apparently this implies something other than dumb luck and hides that it's not implausible this cost someone way, way more than 160k.

Okay I never looked this up before but a 3080 does 100 Megahashes/s which would mean that small time miner who just got lucky is running 17,000 of them?

edit: ah okay, this is why people use ASICS:

https://www.viperatech.com/product/bitmain-antminer-ks3-8-3th/

two of these is 17TH/s although they would also cost you $70,000 and use 7000 watts.

Salt Fish fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Jun 12, 2023

# ? Jun 12, 2023 23:06

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Southern Cassowary posted:

lol is that a colloidal silver guy

LOL I think so

# ? Jun 12, 2023 23:14

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Salt Fish posted:

Okay I never looked this up before but a 3080 does 100 Megahashes/s which would mean that small time miner who just got lucky is running 17,000 of them?

edit: ah okay, this is why people use ASICS:

https://www.viperatech.com/product/bitmain-antminer-ks3-8-3th/

two of these is 17TH/s although they would also cost you $70,000 and use 7000 watts.

A hash is not a quota to fill, a single hash is a random guess. Since there are always people new to the thread, this is another reminder that a block is a valid and correctly mined block because they added some literally otherwise useless junk data to the transaction list in order to make a cryptographic hash (basically a random number that you can influence in an unknown way) have a certain number of 0s in a row. That's it, it's literally just a random number guessing lottery. More hashes just means more tickets

e: Anyone have that old comic of workers making hamburgers? I remember that being a good lay person analogy

# ? Jun 12, 2023 23:35

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Sentient Data posted:

A hash is not a quota to fill, a single hash is a random guess. Since there are always people new to the thread, this is another reminder that a block is a valid and correctly mined block because they added some literally otherwise useless junk data to the transaction list in order to make a cryptographic hash (basically a random number that you can influence in an unknown way) have a certain number of 0s in a row. That's it, it's literally just a random number guessing lottery. More hashes just means more tickets

e: Anyone have that old comic of workers making hamburgers? I remember that being a good lay person analogy

was there a comic? I just recall the posts

rjmccall posted:

look, it's simple. you have a Happy Burger brand fast food establishment, and sometimes kids come in and want their Happy Burger brand Happy Kiddy Burger, which according to the Happy Burger brand franchise operating instructions is supposed to be 4oz of usda utility grade hamburger lightly grilled and pressed into a poppy seed bun with two slices of mild pickle and a slice of tomato and a piece of iceberg lettuce and the name of the kid written on the top in half an ounce of Happy Burger brand special sauce about which the less said the better

so naturally what you do is, you post an ad saying, cooks wanted, please bring your own grill and meat and bun and pickle and tomato and lettuce, we'll supply the sauce

and you get an applicant, and you send him down to the Hall of Cooks, which is a featureless infinite plane that you keep in the unlit basement of your Happy Burger brand fast food establishment. and you tell him to just keep making burgers and handing them up, and if he hands up a burger that satisfies your standards, you'll pay him a bonus, which is $100,000, plus the price of the burger, which is $.50

now the cook can't see too good down there, and he keeps handing up burgers that are more like pickly meatballs with a swastika painted on the side in tomato sauce, but as long as the meat's cooked the health department won't shut you down, so you keep taking them and dutifully handing down briefcases of cash with a few quarters tossed in. and the cook's pretty happy, even after you summarily declare one day that you're only going to pay $50,000 per burger in the future

so the cook calls in a friend, and she sets up in the Hall of Cooks and starts handing up burgers, and now you're getting acceptable burgers faster than you can sell them. so you raise your standards a bit, and you insist that burgers have to be on a bun, and that cuts production back down to a manageable rate. but the cooks are still pretty happy, even after you cut the burger bonus again to $25,000

this goes on for a while, and now you're got a hundred cooks down there, and you're started demanding that they spell out the kid's name correctly, and that's not easy. so now they're not just making burgers to your increasingly exact specifications, they're racing each other to be the first to get the kid's name right. but you're still paying $5,000 a burger, and apparently the cooks are still happy, because more and more keep showing up

you get curious one day while you're squeezing into your franchise past the giant mountain of rotting discarded hamburgers, and you head down to the Hall of Cooks. the last time you came down here, there were only six cooks, and they were just standing around in a disorganized circle; but now they're organized into these large groups. in one of them, you find your first cook, and he shakes your hand. "remember when we just started out and i was lumping up store meat by hand and cooking it on that tiny old george foreman?" he laughs. "That was before we figured out cookie cutters and rolling pins." he's standing at a huge professional-grade charbroiler with twenty-four different patties arranged on it; suddenly, in a single efficient flash of movement, he flips them all over. of course, the dull glow of the grill isn't enough in the utter blackness of the Hall, and most of the patties end up on the ground, which you suddenly realize is a lot spongier than it's supposed to be. also, doesn't the ceiling seem lower? you shake it off and head back upstairs to start taking orders, wondering when it'll be the right time to cut the bonus to $1,000

it's been another year. there are tens of thousands of cooks in your basement. you're rejecting burgers for sloppy handwriting. you're rejecting burgers for having too thick a slice of tomato. you're rejecting burgers for excessively clustered poppy seeds. seven months ago, the cooks started building floor-to-ceiling ovens with internal robotics custom-designed for making Happy Kiddy Burgers; now there are whole fields of them, each making ten thousand burgers a second. of course, it's still pitch-dark down there, and the cooks aren't exactly susan calvin, so almost all of those burgers get added straight to the end of the Great Greasy Mountains, but it's amazing how quick they come now. you overhear a few of the cooks talking excitedly about the orders they just placed for massive new ovens from Barbecue Labs. you don't know how any of them can afford this when the burger bonus is only $100

three months ago, you politely asked whether they could start making the adult Happy Burgers, too

for an entire day, all the burgers had your name written on top in poison

# ? Jun 12, 2023 23:42

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Boxturret posted:

was there a comic? I just recall the posts

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

# ? Jun 13, 2023 00:07

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Winklevoss on Bitcoin: Everyone accepts it! Bad Gensler!

Molly White: :fuckoff:

(a good thread) https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1668287410197655552

https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1668311333329043474

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:00

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

A politician whose main plank was immediately banning all crypto would get my vote

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:06

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Scratch Monkey posted:

"Great Leader, can we eat these 'bit coins'?"

all who question bitcoin are put on the blockchain

that is chained to a block

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:17

MEIN RAVEN: Oct 7, 2008; Gutentag Mein Raven

notwithoutmyanus posted:

*You* have questions. The exchanges that facilitate money laundering and don't require KYC, do not have questions.

I was sent this from the old crypto gang. Apparently this implies something other than dumb luck and hides that it's not implausible this cost someone way, way more than 160k.

I�m so baffled by this bullshit. Like does this person have a name? Are they even real? Or is this one of those �I know someone who sold enough Cutco knives that they won the Cutco knife master of the year aware for 100k and I don�t know who they are but I just KNOW it�ll be me this year� things? Because I have to assume it�s the latter and that is just standard level grifty poo poo but instead of money, you get an abacus made of dog poo poo.

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:25

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

notwithoutmyanus posted:

*You* have questions. The exchanges that facilitate money laundering and don't require KYC, do not have questions.

I was sent this from the old crypto gang. Apparently this implies something other than dumb luck and hides that it's not implausible this cost someone way, way more than 160k.

is this one of those things where some idiot on the other end of the blockchain accidentally hit the too much money button

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:27

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

MEIN RAVEN posted:

I’m so baffled by this bullshit. Like does this person have a name? Are they even real? Or is this one of those “I know someone who sold enough Cutco knives that they won the Cutco knife master of the year aware for 100k and I don’t know who they are but I just KNOW it’ll be me this year” things? Because I have to assume it’s the latter and that is just standard level grifty poo poo but instead of money, you get an abacus made of dog poo poo.

Bitcoin: An Abacus made of dog poo poo

Seriously this is indeed that level of bullshit that somehow gets desperate people to put money into crypto. I still get people wanting me to help them grow crypto balance to this day which gets a "lolno". Or I tell them they can trade (themselves) on a registered broker using cme futures (tradestation, IB, etc) and they all disappear because then it's taxable. Funny how that works.

notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 01:52 on Jun 13, 2023

# ? Jun 13, 2023 01:34

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 11:02

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

So has bitcoin crashed yet?

# ? Jun 13, 2023 04:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

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