UKMT Summer 2023 - Too fat and woke to fight

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2023 - Too fat and woke to fight

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Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Guavanaut posted:

WOKE novel has Jesus identified as a CAT

# ? Jul 3, 2023 13:57

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# ? May 24, 2024 11:51

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

TACD posted:

sickos, haha, yes

and as we all know, when landlords sell properties they simply vanish into the ether

# ? Jul 3, 2023 14:12

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

And while they're selling there is simply no way that they can continue renting in the meantime, all renters immediately move out the second the house comes onto the market.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 14:18

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Was this posted over the weekend? Because lol getting your arse kicked by the loving rapetrots https://twitter.com/TPointUK/status/1675116429375332352

# ? Jul 3, 2023 14:25

Apraxin: Feb 22, 2006; General-Admiral

lee anderson and the 'new conservative' psychos released their 'alternate manifesto' for tory policy:

quote:

1) Close the temporary schemes that grant eligibility for worker visas to �care workers� and �senior care workers�. This policy will reduce visas granted by 117,000 between those workers and their dependents, leading to a reduction in �long-term inward migration� of 82,000.

2) Raise the main skilled work visa salary threshold to �38,000 per annum. This could reduce LTIM [long-term immigration] by 54,000 migrants per year.

3) Extend the closure of the student dependent route, which allows full access to the job market and is not subject to skill or salary thresholds, to students enrolled on one-year research master�s degrees. Combined with the government�s existing proposal, this could lead to a reduction in LTIM of around 75,000.

4) Close the graduate route to students, so as to stop students staying in the UK after graduating for up to two years without a job offer. This should lead to a reduction of around 50,000 in LTIM per year.

5) Reserve university study visas for the brightest international students by excluding the poorest-performing universities from eligibility criteria. This could lead to a reduction of 49,000 from LTIM.

6) Continue to monitor the reduction in visa applications under the humanitarian schemes and introduce caps on future humanitarian schemes should the predicted 168,000 reductions not be realised.

7) Rapidly pass and implement the provisions of the illegal migration bill, leading to a reduction of at least 35,000 from LTIM.

8) Cap the number of refugees legally accepted for resettlement in the UK at 20,000.

9) Raise the minimum combined income threshold to �26,200 for sponsoring a spouse and raise the minimum language requirement to B1 (intermediate level). This should lead to an estimated 20,000 reduction in LTIM.

10) Make the migration advisory committee report on the effect of migration on housing and public services, not just the jobs market, by treating future demand on a par with labour requirements in all studies.

11) Cap the amount of social housing that councils can give to non-UK nationals at five percent until the number of British families waiting for housing clears.

12) Raise the immigration health surcharge to �2,700 per person, per year.

feels like they could have saved a lot of time and effort by just writing gently caress OFF WE'RE FULL

# ? Jul 3, 2023 15:17

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Apraxin posted:

lee anderson and the 'new conservative' psychos released their 'alternate manifesto' for tory policy:

feels like they could have saved a lot of time and effort by just writing gently caress OFF WE'RE FULL

all they need to do is claim that these steps will let them clean up the waterways/give money to the NHS/fix mortgages and they're guaranteed a win. The UK voting public loves cruetly.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 15:25

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Pants pissing 'new conservative' wokists can't even cope with sub 0.5% annual population growth. Are greatest generations of people convinced they fought in the blitz had 1% annual pop growth and still managed housing and NHS.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 15:25

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Just saw the latest round of insane transphobia on Twitter. Hoo boy, these people are not normally brained.

For those who want brain damage: a trans mother was breast feeding her kid, because trans women can in fact lactate just as well as any cis woman, and these freaks are screaming it's actually some kind of chest semen and she's sexually abusing her kid to get off.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 15:44

domhal: Dec 30, 2008; 0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. It has, however, made him into a very, very smart boy with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, he now builds a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world.

Number must go down.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 15:46

killerwhat: May 13, 2010

Tesseraction posted:

Just saw the latest round of insane transphobia on Twitter. Hoo boy, these people are not normally brained.

For those who want brain damage: a trans mother was breast feeding her kid, because trans women can in fact lactate just as well as any cis woman, and these freaks are screaming it's actually some kind of chest semen and she's sexually abusing her kid to get off.

Jesus Christ. These people are at Flat Earth levels of delusional

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:03

Dabir: Nov 10, 2012

Guavanaut posted:

WOKE novel has Jesus identified as a CAT

He's not Aslan, he's a very cowardly lion!

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:11

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Tesseraction posted:

Was this posted over the weekend? Because lol getting your arse kicked by the loving rapetrots https://twitter.com/TPointUK/status/1675116429375332352

pffffffaahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhahahhahahaha

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:17

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

It's 'orrible Gaz, they gave 'im a builders bum!

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:23

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Imagine being such a stupid oval office that you make the SWP look decent

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:28

Mega Comrade: Apr 22, 2004; Listen buddy, we all got problems!

I will never understand the "DEBATE MEEEE!!!" crowd.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:31

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

lol it sounds like he got thumped a right crack before he went down

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:41

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1675881063262871553

These are actual slides from the tweet thread

I guess their graphics person used to work for Tesco?

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 16:52

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Here's some things that don't work, we're going to make them not work even harder.

e: lmao at the "no more free vapes for kids" one

We're going to make kids buy their vapes rather than getting handed them free by 80s saturday morning cartoon drug dealers

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:02

Mega Comrade: Apr 22, 2004; Listen buddy, we all got problems!

Why did nitrous oxide suddenly become so popular.

I used to do a fair free things when I was younger, and still know people who do, but I don't know anyone who did/does that despite it existing for decades.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:09

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

As someone who knocked 40 Bensons a day on the head thanks to vaping I am still 100% behind banning all disposable ones. It�s insane the way they�ve been allowed to proliferate and market themselves directly to kiddies

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:11

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

Disgraceful that the British left would allow the Trot rape cultists to take the lead on badass socialist activism. We need to close the gap on giving the fash wedgies.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:14

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Mega Comrade posted:

Why did nitrous oxide suddenly become so popular.

It's about the only mind altering substance other than alcohol that's still legal in an kind of regulated form.

Can't wait for unregulated grey market pressure vessels :byoscience:

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:14

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Mega Comrade posted:

Why did nitrous oxide suddenly become so popular.

I used to do a fair free things when I was younger, and still know people who do, but I don't know anyone who did/does that despite it existing for decades.

It's cause they banned all the good drugs op.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:15

Mega Comrade: Apr 22, 2004; Listen buddy, we all got problems!

smellmycheese posted:

As someone who knocked 40 Bensons a day on the head thanks to vaping I am still 100% behind banning all disposable ones. It’s insane the way they’ve been allowed to proliferate and market themselves directly to kiddies

Even if they weren't marketed to kids. They are the epitome of unnesary plastic waste.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:16

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Dunt has joined Bluesky

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:16

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Mega Comrade posted:

Even if they weren't marketed to kids. They are the epitome of unnesary plastic waste.

There's also the grey market ones that have a bunch of lead solder and other bad poo poo in the bit that you heat up and breathe, those tend to be disposable, whereas the ones made of surgical steel and food grade rubber o-rings tend to be reusable.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:21

Sad Panda: Sep 22, 2004; I'm a Sad Panda.

Payndz posted:

Any UK goons have experience with the shitshow that is the railway booking system? I'm going up to London this Thurs and coming back Friday, booking the tickets via Trainline; I got an email saying that my return train is no longer running, but my ticket is valid for the next available train, subject to conditions. If that doesn't work, I can get a refund.

Check the ticket's T&Cs, and they say: no alternate trains. No refunds. Okay, so which is true? If I take the next train, is some rear end in a top hat ticket inspector going to say nope, can't do that, here's a fine?

Also, it's a ridiculous split-ticket system where my trip is broken into two each way for no goddamn reason, since I stay on the same train. WTF?

God, I miss the days when it was just "go to station, buy ticket, get on next train".

If the train you're booked in isn't running then yeah get on the next train and explain it to them. Happens all the time with advanced tickets being cancelled or a train running late meaning you miss an advanced connection.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:25

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

Apraxin posted:

lee anderson and the 'new conservative' psychos released their 'alternate manifesto' for tory policy:

feels like they could have saved a lot of time and effort by just writing gently caress OFF WE'RE FULL

Eh, at least they're being consistent: if you genuinely and sincerely want to materially reduce immigration, you have to do something along those lines.

Most of the people in charge shouting about immigrants are just doing it as a sop to their electorate and don't have any serious intention of actually reducing it, which causes its own problems when people notice the gap between rhetoric and action.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 17:55

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Pistol_Pete posted:

Eh, at least they're being consistent: if you genuinely and sincerely want to materially reduce immigration, you have to do something along those lines.

Most of the people in charge shouting about immigrants are just doing it as a sop to their electorate and don't have any serious intention of actually reducing it, which causes its own problems when people notice the gap between rhetoric and action.

And that�s the delicious choice facing us at the next election - straight out xenophobia and poor-crushing from the Tories who are honest about it, or some performative milquetoast version of it from Keith and his briefcases

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:10

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

lol @ kicking out all the migrant care workers

gotta admire the Tory desire to kill off as much of their voting base as possible

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:17

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Rolling around in my own poo poo cheering that at least there are no foreigners in my care home

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:21

Mega Comrade: Apr 22, 2004; Listen buddy, we all got problems!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-sussex-66088898

To be fair to the pretend copper 15 year old girls are very scary.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:24

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Packing off mum and dad to the old folks home so I can sell their massive house for a million and live like a king. Oh there is no-one there to wipe their arse, what a shame, they can use some of that blitz spirit to get them through it.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:24

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

brexit means bedsores

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:25

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

TACD posted:

sickos, haha, yes

Big "sell to who, ben?" energy. If landlords sell then the properties just get sucked into a black hole, as we know.

fuctifino posted:

https://twitter.com/RishiSunak/status/1675881063262871553

These are actual slides from the tweet thread

I guess their graphics person used to work for Tesco?

I feel like you focus on the blue bit so it just reads "anti social behaviour" "fines for graffiti" "nitrous oxide" "criminals for drugs" <- which sounds like a fun lobbying group honestly.

OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:29

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Latest Kieth policy/mission/pledge: squads of 'super teachers' to rescue failing schools.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/squads-super-teachers-help-turn-30372071

Question: when the super teachers are out 'rescuing' who is covering them in their own schools? How will they define a 'super teacher'? Will it be mass clones of birbalsingh?

How long will this policy/mission/pledge last?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:48

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

keith stalin has invented the shock worker of communist labor but for teaching.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:56

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

"Super teachers" is an incredibly TTOI idea

# ? Jul 3, 2023 18:57

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Latest Kieth policy/mission/pledge: squads of 'super teachers' to rescue failing schools.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/squads-super-teachers-help-turn-30372071

Question: when the super teachers are out 'rescuing' who is covering them in their own schools? How will they define a 'super teacher'? Will it be mass clones of birbalsingh?

How long will this policy/mission/pledge last?

Using AI to place a sentient digitised version of Birbalsingh in every school. Worship of the computer goddess will be mandatory

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:21

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# ? May 24, 2024 11:51

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Netflix is doing two Narnia movies, they should CGI her into that.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:22

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