Test Cricket, Best Cricket

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BWV: Feb 24, 2005

The Modi chariot was so loving funny and stupid. He also bussed in a bunch of his supporters and made it hard for others to buy tickets so it was a very strange test all around.

# ? Jul 4, 2023 19:12

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 13:25

IceAgeComing: Jan 29, 2013; pretty fucking embarrassing to watch

goatface posted:

The money imbalance is crippling. I don't know how they can fix it short of telling India to get tae gently caress, and India would almost certainly take their ball and go home.

Absolutely which is why I try to celebrate the little wins when they come.

The only way this changes is if there ends up being another market of similar market value joining: and short of cricket becoming a sensation in America or China; or Pakistan having a sudden economic boom that isn't happening any time soon

# ? Jul 4, 2023 20:06

MaoistBanker: Sep 11, 2001; For Sound Financial Pranning!

gay picnic defence posted:

lol if this forces them to close the long room to members or provide new rooms for the players that don't involve them waking in close proximity to a bunch of drunk tories.

I feel bad for the Australian players for having to endure that awful loving prawn sandwich and gin breath from those chucklfucks.

# ? Jul 4, 2023 20:23

VOTE1: Aug 23, 2007

Perfectly normal and balanced human.
https://twitter.com/cricketcomau/status/1676389679984410624

# ? Jul 5, 2023 03:10

Burn Down Canberra: Oct 27, 2005; GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.

VOTE1 posted:

Perfectly normal and balanced human.
https://twitter.com/cricketcomau/status/1676389679984410624

That's crazy. He's an odd fellow

# ? Jul 5, 2023 04:32

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Hedgehog Pie posted:

As an aside, as someone who very much goes in and out of cricket depending on the seasons, I only just learnt that the massive stadium in Ahmedabad (which will host the World Cup final) is now called the Narendra Modi Stadium because lol of course it is.

As corrupt and hosed as we will all agree that the BCCI is, (the current secretary never played even at Ranji Trophy level and is only there because he is the son of the Home Affairs Minister, an even more racist pile of poo poo than Modi himself).

Modi and the BJP are worse.

But this is the cricket thread, not the hosed up world that is Indian politics thread.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 05:08

KajiTheMelonMan: Sep 2, 2004; I killed a Tuskarr

Some nice perspective in these trying times

quote:

It�s often said that to win a Test match, you need to take 20 wickets. At Lord�s in 2023, Australia proved that this is not true.

For in the second Test, they did not take 20 wickets: they took 19 wickets, and tore one wicket screaming and wailing from the grief-stricken breast of Mother Cricket herself, as she fell to her knees and wept for the beauty the world had once contained.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 07:33

Amoeba102: Jan 22, 2010

I assume that satire piece is indistinguishable from actual UK articles written in earnest.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 09:35

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

Amoeba102 posted:

I assume that satire piece is indistinguishable from actual UK articles written in earnest.

The UK is indistinguishable from satire at the moment tbf

# ? Jul 5, 2023 09:41

gay picnic defence: Oct 5, 2009; I'M CONCERNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF THINGS

VOTE1 posted:

Perfectly normal and balanced human.
https://twitter.com/cricketcomau/status/1676389679984410624

I guess if you spend hours each day holding them you get to know each one pretty well.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 09:46

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

This is my bat there are many like it but this one is mine

# ? Jul 5, 2023 09:48

Vando: Oct 26, 2007; stoats about

IceAgeComing posted:

The only way this changes is if there ends up being another market of similar market value joining: and short of cricket becoming a sensation in America or China; or Pakistan having a sudden economic boom that isn't happening any time soon

So you're telling me our only hope is Major League Cricket? I'll start digging my own grave.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 09:51

ShaneMacGowansTeeth: May 22, 2007; I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

England have named their XI for tomorrow: Anderson, Pope and Tongue out, Wood, Ali and Woakes in

# ? Jul 5, 2023 11:23

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Brook at 3 is weird.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 11:37

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

England have named their XI for tomorrow: Anderson, Pope and Tongue out, Wood, Ali and Woakes in

I'm surprised they dropped Tongue

# ? Jul 5, 2023 11:39

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Continuing to play Robinson despite his pace falling off a cliff is also weird.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 11:42

Hyperriker: Nov 1, 2008; ur fukt m8

tarbrush posted:

I'm surprised they dropped Tongue

Easily the pick of their bowlers right? He did well and should feel unlucky

# ? Jul 5, 2023 12:12

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

Hyperriker posted:

Easily the pick of their bowlers right? He did well and should feel unlucky

Yeah. I suppose I can understand protecting a young guy from what it quite likely to be a febrile and pressurised game even by the standards of this tour. Even so, much rather have him than Woakes.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 12:19

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

If they just want someone to bowl endless short poo poo it doesn't really matter.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 12:24

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Hyperriker posted:

Easily the pick of their bowlers right? He did well and should feel unlucky

Yeah only him and Broad looked all that threatening. Feels kinda weird that Ali is coming back in as well? He wasn�t that great in the first test even before the finger injury I thought

# ? Jul 5, 2023 12:32

Ratios and Tendency: Apr 23, 2010; MURALI

I'd have picked Tongue, Wood and Head.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 13:16

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

https://twitter.com/aljwhite/status/1676548433446879235?s=61&t=VUs9n3L25619VZouCtT7XQ

# ? Jul 5, 2023 13:30

ssmagus: Apr 2, 2010; Assmagus, LPer ass-traordinaire

Ratios and Tendency posted:

I'd have picked Tongue, Wood and Head.

Playing for the wrong team, I see.

# ? Jul 5, 2023 13:31

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

ssmagus posted:

Playing for the wrong team, I see.

Or maybe it's the right team :heysexy:

# ? Jul 5, 2023 13:41

BWV: Feb 24, 2005

BrigadierSensible posted:

As corrupt and hosed as we will all agree that the BCCI is, (the current secretary never played even at Ranji Trophy level and is only there because he is the son of the Home Affairs Minister, an even more racist pile of poo poo than Modi himself).

Modi and the BJP are worse.

But this is the cricket thread, not the hosed up world that is Indian politics thread.

From what I've been reading the BJP's own corruption is bleeding well into the BCCI. Everything from the comically favourable pitches to the way they select people can be mapped onto how the BJP uses the cricket team to justify their agenda.

I've been holding off on posting this because the ashes is so much more compelling but India test selection is bonkers right now. They've basically given up on promoting people who play well in the Ranji trophy and are instead just calling up IPL guys. Number 1 big boy Sarafraz Khan has averaged like 80 over the past 3 years and they passed him over yet again.

Anyway, back to the good poo poo. In Andy Zaltzman's article he says that England has scored more runs than Australia and have a higher average yet are still down 2-0. He then explains why:

quote:

This year's scoreline has statistical novelty to go with its febrile on-pitch drama. And never, after two Ashes Tests, has either side had a worse extras conceded difference than minus 60.

England have bowled 41 no-balls to 15, and conceded 31 byes to 9 which, while not the only decisive factor in this contest of multiple gossamer-fine margins, has certainly been a significant hindrance.

Both sides have missed numerous opportunities in the field which have had varying impacts on the Tests, ranging from minimal to game-changing, but England more than Australia.

Ignoring borderline-impossible technical catch chances, I make it that England have missed 14 makeable-to-good opportunities, to Australia's seven (including wickets off no-balls and unreferred lbw appeals that would have proved out).

Until the late stages at Lord's, Australia had a significantly higher Runs Added After Reprieve total (RAAR - a new cricketing metric that I would like to see you all use in everyday conversation within the next week).

Khawaja, for example, has been the most influential player of the series, but could have been out for 112, 5, 1 and 19, instead of 141, 65, 17 and 77.

We have seen two fascinating matches which have swung and shifted on numerous narrative pivots, and undulated through phases of searing drama, elongated inertia and Laws-related squabblings.

There are numerous alternative universes in which different versions of the series are playing out.

England are, variously, level at 1-1 after the unstumped Bairstow clattered England to victory; 2-0 down anyway after the unstumped Bairstow was cleaned up in Pat Cummins' next over and a demoralised England subsided in minutes; 2-0 up after not gambling away positions of strength in both Tests; 2-0 down after Nathan Lyon's calf muscle failed to pop, or after the coin and swing-inducing Lord's clouds favoured Australia.

Perhaps most realistically, the teams are still locked at 0-0 after back-to-back tied Tests.

In the dimension that the actual series is actually happening, however, the one where the laws of physics and cricket both apply, even when we would rather ignore them or make up our own more convenient versions, English errors have been decisive.

Now you might read this like me and conclude that maybe he's going to suggest that England field an actual wicket keeper but no, that does not seem like a plausible option for either him or Ben Stokes.
E: Article: https://www.bbc.com/sport/cricket/66097255

BWV fucked around with this message at 13:46 on Jul 5, 2023

# ? Jul 5, 2023 13:42

Deathlove: Feb 20, 2003; Pillbug

Vando posted:

So you're telling me our only hope is Major League Cricket? I'll start digging my own grave.

Buddy, I just learned about MLC yesterday and let me tell you how psyched I am to have my own Super Kings within (squints) 2000 miles

Faf! Jason Roy! All the stars are here!

# ? Jul 5, 2023 15:05

Hedgehog Pie: May 19, 2012; Total fuckin' silence.

Deathlove posted:

Buddy, I just learned about MLC yesterday and let me tell you how psyched I am to have my own Super Kings within (squints) 2000 miles

Faf! Jason Roy! All the stars are here!

And they'll alllll be signin' autographs!

I like how cricket seems particularly fertile for Simpsons quotes for some reason. My favourite Carey/Bairstow meme has been Rowdy Roddy Keeper (oh, that man is sick!!).

# ? Jul 5, 2023 15:19

Nuclear Spoon: Aug 18, 2010; I want to cry out
but I don’t scream and I don’t shout
And I feel so proud
to be alive

gonna be real with you glenn it doesn't sound quite as snappy

# ? Jul 5, 2023 17:49

Diet Crack: Jan 15, 2001

"My dick" rolls off the tongue a lot easier

*leaves door ajar*

# ? Jul 6, 2023 01:05

Fanatic: Mar 9, 2006

Sounds like Green might be too sore to play meaning The Bison could be making a return :raise:

What's Neser got to do to get a look in other than change his last name to a bog

# ? Jul 6, 2023 03:05

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

I think aus would be nuts not just taking an extra bowler. Neser can arguably bat as well as green at the moment too.

# ? Jul 6, 2023 03:36

Seams: Feb 3, 2005; ROCK HARD

Still time to select Shaun Marsh

# ? Jul 6, 2023 03:40

Fanatic: Mar 9, 2006

All signs point to MMarsh unless it's a ruse

Welp hopefully his limited overs form carries over...

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:29

drunkill: Sep 25, 2007; me @ ur posting; Fallen Rib

MMarsh selected, sigh

england win the toss and choose to bowl first

there goes our hopes and dreams for a first over mankad by australia

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:35

V for Vegas: Sep 1, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER

The Big Bison! Just pop the Ashes in the post to Australia now tia.

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:39

KajiTheMelonMan: Sep 2, 2004; I killed a Tuskarr

drunkill posted:

MMarsh selected, sigh

england win the toss and choose to bowl first

there goes our hopes and dreams for a first over mankad by australia

please please please let Bairstow try and do what Carey did on the first ball

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:41

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

KajiTheMelonMan posted:

please please please let Bairstow try and do what Carey did on the first ball

I am desperately hoping for Warner to get ROBed first ball

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:43

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

He'd probably miss the stumps.

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:44

tarbrush: Feb 7, 2011; ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

God I hate this England lineup. They've done really well to be competitive with a more talented Australia in spite of their brain farts, but this is grim.

tarbrush fucked around with this message at 10:50 on Jul 6, 2023

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:47

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 13:25

Ratios and Tendency: Apr 23, 2010; MURALI

It'll be interesting to see how Australia cheat this time.

# ? Jul 6, 2023 10:57

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