- google THIS
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Um mods this doesn't appear to be working
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Jul 8, 2023 21:54
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 03:45
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Most effort expended to meet the most trivial of goals:
Man logs hundreds of hours to get his pilot licence to fly up and see for himself if the nearby hill really does look like a butt from above, as it is according to local legend.
Woman in state that closes their only Starbucks opens a franchise location, only to make herself a venti latté and then shut hers down.
Detective takes fingerprints off tablet found in the garbage, finds the likely culprit in a database, learns that he left the country last month, employs a private investigator at the new location to provide an updated address, only to send the perp a sternly worded letter about proper disposal of old electronics.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Jul 9, 2023
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Jul 9, 2023 15:28
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The statute of limitations on the social contract runs out.
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Jul 9, 2023 16:14
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The hustle in the Sesame street ghetto.
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Jul 9, 2023 19:33
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- Karate Bastard
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Most effort expended to meet the most trivial of goals:
Man logs hundreds of hours to get his pilot licence to fly up and see for himself if the nearby hill really does look like a butt from above, as it is according to local legend.
Woman in state that closes their only Starbucks opens a franchise location, only to make herself a venti latté and then shut hers down.
Detective takes fingerprints off tablet found in the garbage, finds the likely culprit in a database, learns that he left the country last month, employs a private investigator at the new location to provide an updated address, only to send the perp a sternly worded letter about proper disposal of old electronics.
Look when I finally find the motherfucker who took my milk from the fridge I will tell them not to.
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Jul 9, 2023 19:38
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- google THIS
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Most effort expended to meet the most trivial of goals:
Pulling off a Shawshank Redemption-tier tunnel/sewer crawl so you don't have to walk by that neighbor who waves and greets you every morning before you've absorbed enough caffeine to be sociable
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Jul 10, 2023 00:48
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- deep dish peat moss
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Building an elaborate system of trap doors so when someone knocks on your front door you can exit the building and pretend you're not home without being a liar.
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Jul 10, 2023 00:56
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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Building an elaborate system of trap doors so when someone knocks on your front door you can exit the building and pretend you're not home without being a liar.
social anxiety panic room, with a dog to pet and a TV looping Simpsons season 2-9 episodes
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Jul 10, 2023 01:37
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Suddenly Sousaphone.
A man is thrown out of the orchestra only to discover a new career as a freelance sousaphonist. The critics go wild, but not everyone is amused!
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Jul 10, 2023 08:50
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Three friends meet in secret to plot "a scheme to seperate marks from their hard-earned money" in "like a bank heist but every day!".
Only they end up opening a chain of frozen yogurt locations that suceed because the friends make sure to provide a superior product at the same price or lower than the competition, pay living wages so they never lack for employees, and donate tons to charity to gain good publicity. They each work 60 to 80 hour weeks to get this off the ground.
The friends laugh maniacally while collecting their weekly take in a money sign bag and wearing burglar outfits.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 09:42 on Jul 10, 2023
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Jul 10, 2023 09:07
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A Mongolian man with a perfect English accent. That's all I got.
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Jul 10, 2023 18:40
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- google THIS
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So what if you can see
The duck inside of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
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Jul 10, 2023 19:11
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Don't use outer mongolian solutions on inner mongolian problems - old mongolian proverb.
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Jul 11, 2023 12:14
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- Karate Bastard
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Jokes that don't work in written form, nor in spoken form.
Dentist: say aaah
Patient: aaaaaaaah
Dentist: stop screaming please.
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Jul 11, 2023 12:29
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Actually that one works perfectly fine. Gave me a chuckle.
Don't use outer mongolian solutions on inner mongolian problems - old mongolian proverb.
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Jul 11, 2023 13:01
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A prostitute who spends the whole time talking. The Whore of Babble On.
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Jul 11, 2023 18:15
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- Karate Bastard
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"General! They're coming, and they're in some anime poo poo!" shouted the comms officer before the line was cut, which was alarming and entirely uninformative, as it could mean any terrifying range of absolutely anything
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Jul 11, 2023 21:58
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- Finger Prince
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"General! They're coming, and they're in some anime poo poo!" shouted the comms officer before the line was cut, which was alarming and entirely uninformative, as it could mean any terrifying range of absolutely anything
Immediately my mind jumped to mecha. Enormous human piloted robots armed to the teeth with countless missiles, mortars, lasers, swords, and laser swords.
Imagine my surprise when, through the cloud of dust, I saw the catbus emerge.
And then all hell broke loose.
Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Jul 12, 2023
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Jul 12, 2023 00:12
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Lament configuration chicken. As in the game chicken.
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Jul 12, 2023 14:21
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- Karate Bastard
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Imagine two cenobites in subarus,
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Jul 12, 2023 16:44
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A Punisher type vigilante who comes to have a certain sympathy for the mode of livlihood of the crooks he fights...
oh this is Porco Rosso.
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Jul 12, 2023 20:50
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- Abugadu
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1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
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The Funisher, who, due to an incident during his childhood where no one showed up to his b-day party, goes around to birthday parties dressed as a clown and makes balloon animals and balloon guns, despite not being hired and having no connection to the person whose birthday it is.
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Jul 13, 2023 01:43
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- The Voice of Labor
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uncanny. I came here to make a funisher joke as well and I haven't opened this thread in a few days. funisher is the zeitgeist he drives around in a van selling weed and ice cream novelties he DOES NOT have a skull on his shirt
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Jul 13, 2023 05:05
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- Finger Prince
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The funisher's logo: :byob1:
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Jul 13, 2023 06:50
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- Karate Bastard
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Tickling hardened criminals until they soften
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Jul 13, 2023 07:14
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- Karate Bastard
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then they get a balloon animal
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Jul 13, 2023 07:14
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- Karate Bastard
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The Furnisher is the one that visits the destitute and provides the with a functional home environment.
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Jul 13, 2023 07:30
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- Abugadu
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1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
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*huffily grabs pail of polyurethane shellac and paintbrush and leaves*
"Well you should have pronounced it more clearly in the ad!"
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Jul 14, 2023 00:49
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- The Voice of Labor
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*the funisher breaks through a skylight, drops to the floor of a warehouse inbetween two rivals gangs about to do a violent clash. he pulls himself up and fires a pair machine pistols at one of the gangs. the gun shoots joints, and a perfectly rolled 3/4 gram doobie of nice sativa hits every gang member square between their lips. the funisher then throws a grenade over the heads of the second gang. it explodes into a shower of bic lighters. the funisher, in a gravely voice, says "increase the peace. gently caress the police". he then pops two ecstasy pills, says "I'm gonna roll on outta here". he puts a pair of sunglasses on immediately after saying that*
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Jul 14, 2023 01:32
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- The Voice of Labor
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the woman mlk was with the night before he was assassinated was j edgar hoover in drag
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Jul 14, 2023 06:01
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A guy is dared to get stung by a bee but he mishears and gets stung by a BEAST... like a loving manticore.
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Jul 14, 2023 11:38
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- RavenousScoot
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"General! They're coming, and they're in some anime poo poo!" shouted the comms officer before the line was cut, which was alarming and entirely uninformative, as it could mean any terrifying range of absolutely anything
A ship captain sees an approaching fleet flying the one piece flag and asks of his first mate, "Bring me my ahegao collage pants"
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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Jul 15, 2023 18:17
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- RavenousScoot
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a fat italian guy that appears on peoples shoulders and yells at them to follow through on intrusive thoughts like to jump off the balcony or throw the coffee, and when he's questioned he just retorts, "YOU WERE ALLLLL THINKING IT- I JUST HAD THE BAALLS TO SAY IT"
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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Jul 16, 2023 23:56
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- The Voice of Labor
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an even smaller fat italian guy that appears on his shoulder and gives him money every time he goads people into abhorrent behavior
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Jul 17, 2023 00:12
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- RavenousScoot
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having to take care of the fat guy on your shoulder and his fat guy like pets and make them little italian subs and give them baths in the sink
people think you have a black raincloud over your head but they're just smoking cigars again
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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Jul 17, 2023 00:37
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- The Voice of Labor
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one day the though comes
"strangle the little italian dude on your shoulder"
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Jul 17, 2023 00:49
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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one day the though comes
"strangle the little italian dude on your shoulder"
Oh my God, get out of my head!
Ma, make Voice of Labor get out of my head.
MA!
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig! 
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Jul 17, 2023 01:00
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- The Voice of Labor
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don't use lubricant use lubrican
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Jul 17, 2023 04:19
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 31, 2024 03:45
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- Karate Bastard
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a fat italian guy that appears on peoples shoulders and yells at them to follow through on intrusive thoughts like to jump off the balcony or throw the coffee, and when he's questioned he just retorts, "YOU WERE ALLLLL THINKING IT- I JUST HAD THE BAALLS TO SAY IT"
"JUMP ON THAT TURTLE! GO ON DO IT! FLATTEN THAT LITTLE poo poo" *coin sounds*
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Jul 17, 2023 07:09
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Jul 8, 2023 21:54
