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BrigadierSensible posted:Dude chucked a hissy fit, and left his own brother's daughter's wedding, (taking his "thoughtful" gift of a check), because he felt "disrespected" by the happy couple being a little late. Stopping the limo to get drunk while everyone else waits around for you unexpectedly seems pretty disrespectful to me.
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Jul 21, 2023 12:23
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"I did something pretty objectively disrespectful and people felt disrespected, who could possibly have predicted this outcome?"
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Jul 21, 2023 12:31
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My wedding experience is that I certainly couldn’t afford to pay a venue at 20-whatever and the people who did (my parents, wife parents) could easily have been like ‘give everyone food and drinks assholes’. I’m gonna go a different route and say either the bride or grooms parents are actually assholes, and no one should be worried about how the wedding party decides to do things
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Jul 21, 2023 12:36
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Sir Sidney Poitier posted:(Disclaimer: my dog misbehaves plenty despite abundant toys) What a brat!!
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Jul 21, 2023 12:37
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for telling my sister to shut the gently caress up? This lady doesn't understand dogs very well. She has still given her pup toys, the toys are just her stuff now and not a pile of disposable objects from pets mart.
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Jul 21, 2023 12:59
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Is there an r/relationships origin to the in joke about naming your kid Pnurtis?
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Jul 21, 2023 13:27
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Human Tornada posted:What is it with the internet vernacular of labeling everything a hissy fit, a tantrum, and stomping their feet? Removing yourself from an unpleasant situation is not a hissy fit. Your hissy fit is toxic and controlling, and it's giving me intrusive thoughts about some guy, let's call him John (fake name). That's a big red flag. Sorry about any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, I calmly explained. AITA?
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Jul 21, 2023 14:11
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evobatman posted:Your hissy fit is toxic and controlling, and it's giving me intrusive thoughts about some guy, let's call him John (fake name). That's a big red flag. Sorry about any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, I calmly explained. AITA? YTA, you hid in the comments where you accidentally found this post when your partner's phone spontaneously fell onto your lap and you pressed the password by pure serendipity when you tried to pick it up. Fast forward to now and that phone is blowing up with comments from everyone you know.
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Jul 21, 2023 14:47
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StrangersInTheNight posted:Jfc to no toy dog lady. The animal can't choose to leave to materially improve its conditions, it's trapped there with no toys. Even prison wardens acknowledge the prisoners need stimulation sometimes. One of my dogs didn't care one bit about toys, except for two. An old sock with a tennis ball in the toe and a basketball she had punctured and turned into a bowl-shaped thing. We bought her toys. She had a basket with a bunch of cuddly toys, squeakers, balls of all shapes and sizes. She would always politely take a new toy from us and set it on the ground, as if to say "this is very nice, but no thank you." She liked her sticks, wonky basketball and old sock. Then we got her little sister who thought toys were the best thing ever and tennis balls were from heaven.
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Jul 21, 2023 14:50
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AITA for agreeing with my sister when she said she was horrible?quote:I (20f) have an older sister Laura (29f). Laura has three kids, the youngest of which is Freya (6f). Laura was loving 21 when OP was diagnosed with autism. A whole rear end adult recorded her younger sister having a sensory meltdown and sent it to her friends.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:04
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Kurieg posted:AITA for agreeing with my sister when she said she was horrible? But now someone she actually cares about is suffering , so it's totally different.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:11
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DeeplyConcerned posted:But now someone she actually cares about is suffering , so it's totally different. Honestly i think it is the same deep down - Laura has a need for attention and validation. She got that before from her friends by mocking her sister, and gets it now from posting online about how her life is so hard but she is soldiering on. She wanted to get more validation from her sister in the form of a self-serving apology followed by Hallmark catharsis, but OP shot that down.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:20
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The reasons self-proclaimed It's So Hard To Be An Autism Parents give for it being so hard is always self-centered bullshit. The kid's sensory issues are so hard for mommy to deal with! She'll be posting her daughter's meltdowns online too, only changing the veneer of her reasoning from "lol let's make fun of her" to "pity me having to deal with her". DeeplyConcerned is 100% right that now it affects someone Laura actually cares about: Laura
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Jul 21, 2023 15:26
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Kurieg posted:AITA for agreeing with my sister when she said she was horrible? Good on OP for refusing to grant absolution to someone who has done nothing to deserve it.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:34
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Lyesh posted:That dude is 100% doing this kinda poo poo on purpose to antagonize her. not sure whether she knows that or not and is doing her own part in purposely giving him tasks to gently caress up. Yeah that OP and her husband sounded exactly like my parents. My dad would almost go out of his way to get you the wrong thing, but would also get mad and lose his temper that you weren’t appreciative. Interestingly he’d get exactly the right thing if he was about to make an expensive purchase for himself. Meanwhile my mom is incapable of learning lessons and loves to complain, so she’d continue giving the same inputs to get the same outputs and be equally outraged every time. This was a relationship fueled on resentment between two people who were only comfortable existing in toxicity. In classic AITA fashion, divorce was not an option.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:38
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DeeplyConcerned posted:But now someone she actually cares about is suffering , so it's totally different. She doesn't care about her daughter. She cares about being seen as an autistic mommy martyr. I've seen the type too many times...
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Jul 21, 2023 15:48
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Bonster posted:One of my dogs didn't care one bit about toys, except for two. An old sock with a tennis ball in the toe and a basketball she had punctured and turned into a bowl-shaped thing. We bought her toys. She had a basket with a bunch of cuddly toys, squeakers, balls of all shapes and sizes. She would always politely take a new toy from us and set it on the ground, as if to say "this is very nice, but no thank you." She liked her sticks, wonky basketball and old sock. Oh yeh some dogs just aren't into them, but you understand that even if your dog wasn't super into toys, it doesn't mean buying toys for other dogs is inherently wasteful, such that you'd make it a multiple-days argument with a family member. It's just such a weird takeaway for OPs sister to have, that one's own dog not liking toys means the whole dog toy market is some sort of elaborate scam and buying any of them makes you the fool who is bad with money. They're not luxury items or anything. OP isn't buying rhinestone-encrusted dog purses. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Jul 21, 2023 |
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Jul 21, 2023 15:53
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anonumos posted:She doesn't care about her daughter. She cares about being seen as an autistic mommy martyr. I've seen the type too many times... They have a whole goddamn organisation in Autism Speaks. They hate their autistic child for having taken the place of their picture perfect wibble baby.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:53
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Freya is the youngest so Laura is going to be pushing the responsibility on her other kids soon if she hasn't done so already.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:55
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StrangersInTheNight posted:Oh yeh some dogs just aren't into them, but you understand that even if your dog wasn't super into toys, it doesn't mean buying toys for other dogs is inherently wasteful, such that you'd make it a multiple-days argument with a family member. I got the vibe that the sister saw OP’s dog toys, felt like a bad dog owner for not getting toys for her dog, and lashed out at OP. Now OP is going out to buy sister’s dog some toys.
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Jul 21, 2023 15:59
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Ahhh yeh that makes sense. Good old insecurity.
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Jul 21, 2023 16:13
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keep punching joe posted:Is there an r/relationships origin to the in joke about naming your kid Pnurtis? I also want to know about Peter's spine.
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Jul 21, 2023 16:24
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Crocobile posted:I got the vibe that the sister saw OP’s dog toys, felt like a bad dog owner for not getting toys for her dog, and lashed out at OP. Now OP is going out to buy sister’s dog some toys. My MIL will complain that our house has too many toys in it. My MIL will also take the kids to goodwill and let them buy used stuffed animals every time she had them. I throw away a lot of stuffed animals.
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Jul 21, 2023 16:24
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Kurieg posted:AITA for agreeing with my sister when she said she was horrible? "How dare you not forgive me" I say after apologizing for literally the first time
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Jul 21, 2023 16:28
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tactlessbastard posted:My MIL will complain that our house has too many toys in it. I'd say donate them but it sounds like there's a high probability that would just become a cycle of the toys leaving and returning again
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Jul 21, 2023 16:37
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DeeplyConcerned posted:Crying because all I wanted was some mashed potatoes and after asking 10 questions to specify and make sure he's getting the right thing, my husband comes home with a picture of a potato It's better if you imagine them as a married Samwise & Gollum "What is pre-made taters, precious?" "Instant PO-TAY-TOES?! Do I have to define it for you??" Kurieg posted:AITA for agreeing with my sister when she said she was horrible? OP should sprinkle little things into conversation whenever possible - keep twisting that knife for as many years as her sister poo poo on her "Hopefully Laura won't have her phone if Freya melts down, would suck to have that recorded & spread on social media" "How's her diet? It'd be a shame to see her get punished for sensory issues she can't control" "Let's pray your temper's calmed down over the years, I can't imagine how an autistic kid would handle being screamed at or ridiculed"
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Jul 21, 2023 16:42
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StrangersInTheNight posted:I'd say donate them but it sounds like there's a high probability that would just become a cycle of the toys leaving and returning again There's extra concern with used stuffed animals because it's difficult to adequately sanitize them without accidentally frying their fur or otherwise ruining them. Doing it properly is the sort of effort you might be willing to expend for a beloved childhood toy, but it's not something you can trust Goodwill to do on your behalf and not worth doing for a never ending stream of them entering your house.
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Jul 21, 2023 16:46
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/\/\/\ yeah that's absolutely true - thrift stores clean *nothing* before putting it on the sales floor. If it's too dirty to sell it's tossed, it isn't 'brought back to life'. Always run 'new' thrift store purchases through a washing machine whenever possible.Ghost Leviathan posted:They have a whole goddamn organisation in Autism Speaks. They hate their autistic child for having taken the place of their picture perfect wibble baby. was literally just thinking 'I bet OP's sister is part of Autism Speaks' lol StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Jul 21, 2023 |
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Jul 21, 2023 16:51
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PurpleLizardWizard posted:There's extra concern with used stuffed animals because it's difficult to adequately sanitize them without accidentally frying their fur or otherwise ruining them. Doing it properly is the sort of effort you might be willing to expend for a beloved childhood toy, but it's not something you can trust Goodwill to do on your behalf and not worth doing for a never ending stream of them entering your house. Or you can just embrace the flea and lice season mentality
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Jul 21, 2023 17:01
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Ghost Leviathan posted:They have a whole goddamn organisation in Autism Speaks. They hate their autistic child for having taken the place of their picture perfect wibble baby. had to check and yes this is the org that was either fronting or heavily funded by Jenny McCarthy and tried really hard to push the vaccines=autism connection and is generally a really lovely charity that benefits from being the first Big Name org that people don't really know the details about. their branding is literally a puzzle piece to indicate that autistic people were "missing a piece"
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Jul 21, 2023 17:02
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Autism OP owns, she did the right thing. Laura sucks. No-present uncle was fine. Weddings are dumb and should be illegal. I doubt I'll ever go to one again in my life. I can't fully decide about potato couple. I think posters saying the wife has abused and nitpicked to the point where husband is terribly afraid are possibly right. But OP and other posters saying it's weaponized incompetence on the part of the husband are also possibly right. Either, or both, are plausible.The can of sliced potatoes does have me leaning towards the second one, though. There are a lot of options that could be correct for the brief even if the wife would say its wrong, but the can of sliced potatoes is not one of those. It was guaranteed to be wrong. In any event they should split up because it sounds like a loving awful dynamic.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:10
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pentyne posted:had to check and yes this is the org that was either fronting or heavily funded by Jenny McCarthy and tried really hard to push the vaccines=autism connection and is generally a really lovely charity that benefits from being the first Big Name org that people don't really know the details about. I thought the puzzle piece thing was the "branding" for lack of a better word for anything related to autism awareness - like red ribbons for AIDS or pink ribbons for breast cancer. But if it's a specific thing to Jenny McCarthy's bullshit this pic I took years ago is a lot less funny 
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Jul 21, 2023 17:25
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AITA because I (38F) don't want to take my stepson (9) on vacation?quote:My husband (39) and I have been married for 5 years. We have two children of our own, both girls, aged 5 and 2. I also have a son (10) from a previous marriage, but I was widowed. Bolding mine.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:29
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Cthulu Carl posted:I thought the puzzle piece thing was the "branding" for lack of a better word for anything related to autism awareness - like red ribbons for AIDS or pink ribbons for breast cancer. 
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Jul 21, 2023 17:33
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NGDBSS posted:It's not entirely an Autism Speaks thing, but in general the puzzle piece was a logo created by clout-chasing neurotypical "allies" rather than autistic or neurodivergent folks themselves. It's a label placed upon us by others, not one of our own choosing. A more common one within the community itself is the rainbow infinity: OK, that makes sense. That's also a better logo than the puzzle pieces
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Jul 21, 2023 17:36
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA because I (38F) don't want to take my stepson (9) on vacation? yes. also husband is a doormat rear end in a top hat too.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:39
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NGDBSS posted:It's not entirely an Autism Speaks thing, but in general the puzzle piece was a logo created by clout-chasing neurotypical "allies" rather than autistic or neurodivergent folks themselves. It's a label placed upon us by others, not one of our own choosing. A more common one within the community itself is the rainbow infinity: Specifically, the rainbow infinity is meant to cover neurodiversity, not exclusively autism. But groups promoting the rainbow infinity are a hell of a lot more likely to be reasonable about autism than those promoting the puzzle piece.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:40
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Hellblazer187 posted:The can of sliced potatoes does have me leaning towards the second one, though. There are a lot of options that could be correct for the brief even if the wife would say its wrong, but the can of sliced potatoes is not one of those. It was guaranteed to be wrong. In any event they should split up because it sounds like a loving awful dynamic. Yeah this is what got me, too. The returning with an obviously wrong thing - not just a little off, but something so clearly out of the realm of what was asked, is either him loving with her as his own type of revenge, or serious executive dysfunction. And either would get exhausting and hellish after a while.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:43
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Tarkus posted:Do, does his whole family just shave their heads or do they just cope with lice? This is odd. It sounds like they just cope with lice, or at least like the adults are going "ehhh, lice happen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about or fuss over". Which is...weird, and also sounds like they might be the reason why the little sister's school has been struggling with a prolonged outbreak. My guess is that the school hasn't pinpointed this yet, or CPS would get called. StrangersInTheNight posted:ugh my family would just...live with a flea infestations. I heard often that it was just 'flea season' and a consequence of having pets in the South and there's nothing to be done about it. Luckily the winter would kill them and we'd get some reprieve. That's, uh.  Flea treatments have existed for centuries. The suite of chemicals used in modern treatments (pyrethoids, carbamates, and organophosphates) are post-DDT, sure - but poo poo like derris powder and carbolic soap, and cleaning everything, and dousing the floor in kerosene to kill the eggs and larvae, or spraying the yard with saltwater to kill any fleas in the area, have been things for ages. We've found barrows and tombs with flea combs among the grave goods! Getting rid of, and preventing, fleas has been a thing civilization has been focused on since basically forever. The usual response to "gently caress, minimal effort didn't work" wasn't "well, guess we're just stuck like this", it was "gently caress it, kill them with fire if we have to" pentyne posted:had to check and yes this is the org that was either fronting or heavily funded by Jenny McCarthy and tried really hard to push the vaccines=autism connection and is generally a really lovely charity that benefits from being the first Big Name org that people don't really know the details about. I cannot poo poo-talk Autism Speaks enough. They're not just a really lovely charity that's benefiting from being a Big Name that most people don't know enough details about, and pro vaccines=autism. They're also pro eugenics (unsurprisingly, considering that the money they don't spend on PR and themselves goes towards research for "curing" autism) and they have no autistic members on the board. There was one, at one point, and he resigned because they made it clear that he was just a figurehead to make them look good, not someone they would listen to or respect, and he didn't want to give them that cover.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:44
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA because I (38F) don't want to take my stepson (9) on vacation? drat, I feel sorry for this kid. I wonder how else he's treated as not part of the family.
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Jul 21, 2023 17:50
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