r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

tinytort posted:

It sounds like they just cope with lice, or at least like the adults are going "ehhh, lice happen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about or fuss over". Which is...weird, and also sounds like they might be the reason why the little sister's school has been struggling with a prolonged outbreak. My guess is that the school hasn't pinpointed this yet, or CPS would get called.

That's, uh. Flea treatments have existed for centuries. The suite of chemicals used in modern treatments (pyrethoids, carbamates, and organophosphates) are post-DDT, sure - but poo poo like derris powder and carbolic soap, and cleaning everything, and dousing the floor in kerosene to kill the eggs and larvae, or spraying the yard with saltwater to kill any fleas in the area, have been things for ages. We've found barrows and tombs with flea combs among the grave goods!

Getting rid of, and preventing, fleas has been a thing civilization has been focused on since basically forever. The usual response to "gently caress, minimal effort didn't work" wasn't "well, guess we're just stuck like this", it was "gently caress it, kill them with fire if we have to"

I cannot poo poo-talk Autism Speaks enough. They're not just a really lovely charity that's benefiting from being a Big Name that most people don't know enough details about, and pro vaccines=autism. They're also pro eugenics (unsurprisingly, considering that the money they don't spend on PR and themselves goes towards research for "curing" autism) and they have no autistic members on the board. There was one, at one point, and he resigned because they made it clear that he was just a figurehead to make them look good, not someone they would listen to or respect, and he didn't want to give them that cover.

wasn't there something on their main page once about how autistic people are nothing but a burden to their families?

Not fleas. Fleas suck for everyone. I remember having to refuse to take in a guinea pig because the rescue foster home had fleas. I was assured that the piggie didn't have them, and that's because the woman knew fleas didn't jump from one cage to another.

AITA for my reaction for the news of the new grandkid coming and telling them to get their poo poo together

quote:

My daughter recommended me to this Reddit area.

I have two daughters, Bethany is 22 and has her life together. She just got a good job and is doing really well. Abby is 24 and doesn�t have her life together. She dropped out of college at 19 since she got pregnant and then baby daddy left.

I�ve been a huge part of the kids life while Abby tries to get back on track. At 23 we decided that she needs to go back to school since she can�t support herself being a waiter. The whole time I was the free babysitter, basically raising the kid.

So she one year left of her higher education, and she hosed it up again. So grandkid two is coming and she said she will most likely drop out again. When she told me, I asked if she was joking. She got defensive and asked what I meant. I told her that she needs to get her crap together. It resulted in an argument, which she stormed out after calling me an rear end in a top hat

My other daughter said I should post her and see if I was an rear end in a top hat.

Edit: So I have a plan now and I will lay it out for her tonight. If she has the kid, she can only stay if she stays in school. She has to go to court and get child support for the first kid and do the same when the other one arrives.

I will only babysit twice a week and real emergency. If she needs me to babysit more she needs to pay, and it will be the cost of the average babysitter where I live. She needs to provide all the baby�s stuff, I�m not paying.

If she decides to drop she going to be out of the house and needs to figure it out

# ? Jul 21, 2023 17:53

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# ? May 29, 2024 19:31

Tobermory: Mar 31, 2011

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA because I (38F) don't want to take my stepson (9) on vacation?

They got divorced when stepson was 2, and his ex wanted "a fresh start" so my husband did the decent selfless thing and had complete custody of their son, even though he'd wanted shared custody.

I really, really hope the wicked stepmother is projecting here. Otherwise I feel incredibly bad for that kid.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 17:54

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

I showed my autistic friend the original x-men movies and every time someone talks about curing autism she does a Sir Ian McKellen impression and says "they want to cure us. But I'm here to tell you We. Are. The Cure." and it makes me giggle every time

Edit: I also say this about being queer

# ? Jul 21, 2023 17:55

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA because I (38F) don't want to take my stepson (9) on vacation?

Bolding mine.

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 17:59

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Mustang posted:

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

It's real easy to have a lot of kids if you don't give a poo poo about them in the slightest

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:01

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Mustang posted:

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

Huh, our marriage is breaking down. Let's have another kid to save it! Oh, that didn't work? Let's try again!

Or maybe having a large number of children is a significant stresser, which causes someone to be a worse parent?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:01

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Tobermory posted:

I really, really hope the wicked stepmother is projecting here. Otherwise I feel incredibly bad for that kid.

Husband is apparently fine with leaving his son behind, so I'm afraid that she's not.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:04

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Mustang posted:

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

Maybe this next one will be more to my liking.

I remember reading about a horrible woman and serial killer, Rosemary West. One of her surviving victims, her stepdaughter, wrote a book, and in it she described how Rosemary was the most doting mother on every new baby, up until it started to walk/have some independence. Then it was no longer a cuddly doll-toy, and she despised that. She had lots of children, why do you ask?

And with most countries' histories of eugenics and controlling who has kids, it's hosed on both extremes.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:09

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Mustang posted:

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

Because a lot of people are scared of facing themselves and putting in the work for self-actualization and so instead they use spitting out children as a constant distraction. This is also why these people get so thorny about childless adults, because they see someone doing the thing they thought was literally impossible, which is to be happy without children.

They think being constantly busy with childcare will be what fulfills the hole within them, in part bc society probably consistently tells them this, and only once it's too late and they're being further ground down to dust by the mundane but unceasing realities of childcare, do they realize they've trapped themselves in labour, and won't be able to get to know themselves until they're old and all the kids are out of the house. You know - those people you meet who are abjectly lost when their kids leave home? Yeh, them.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Jul 21, 2023

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:10

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I once knew this woman could not loving stop having kids. I only ever really saw her parenting whichever was youngest at the time, leaving the rest to her oldest (a daughter, poor kid) and her nigh-silent husband. The middle kids always acted out like crazy, the youngest middle kid especially, since they'd just lost their mom's undivided attention. And the youngest was always just a little poo poo to an extreme, getting away with absolutely anything. I think I may have been the first person to discipline her youngest at the time in any way, and I was a teenager. And all I did was take a toy away that he was hitting another kid with. It was like she was addicted to having a small kid or something. She wasn't even one of the ones who treated their kid like a doll they could control, they just had to exist and be small and she was happy.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Standard entitlement story, with a couple of funny bits.

AITA for refusing to let me cousin move into my guest house?

quote:

For some background my parents have 3 kids I (28M) and my siblings (17M) and (15F)

My wife (27F) and I have a son (6). We own a 3 bedroom house with a good amount of land along with a guest house which we rent out. My younger brother is currently going to school in the town I live in as it has a good course to set him in the right direction for his career path, he is currently living with us as my parents house is a hours drive from the school and we had an extra bedroom.

I had recently had some of my extended family over to catch up. A few days ago we were out for breakfast when my uncle (let�s call mark) had mentioned something about my cousin (22M) (we�ll call him Jake) getting the opportunity for a plumbing apprenticeship in the area and not having the money but needing a place to stay, mark suggested jake staying in the guest house, I reminded mark the guest house currently was being rented. Mark said I stop renting to the people who live there and let Jake stay instead but I explained I can�t kick the couple who lives there out just so my cousin can live there rent free. That�s when my aunt Sarah chimes in and suggests my brother shares a room with my son and Jake stays in Brother's old room. I told them I wasn�t going to make my brother and son share a room just so my cousin who got kicked out of college could move in. They said this is apprenticeship is a good opportunity for Jake, I replied telling them if they want him to do the apprenticeship then they could pay for the first months rent for an apartment, after that he would be able to pay for it himself with the money he would earn from the apprenticeship, or he could sell his fancy new car I�ve seen him posting and bragging about and use the money from that to pay rent. They told me I�m being selfish and need grow up, after that i had, had enough and got up payed my part of the bill and left. Later that day I got a text from my aunt saying how I behaved poorly and that after I left everyone agreed I was being selfish along with multiple other messages and missed calls telling me I need to grow up and accept that Jake will be moving in with me, my cousin also messaged and called me childish. I also got a message from my sister saying the rest of the family is on my side and Sarah and Mark were wrong for putting me in that position at breakfast and left shortly after I did. After that I sent the following message to my aunt, uncle and cousin �while I understand you may be frustrated with me, my decision stands, I will not be letting Jake move in. I can�t just evict the tenants living in the guest house. (They�re also a very nice couple me and my wife have become friends with) I don�t see why I should have to let Jake live with me and pay no rent. He�s made his life choices and it was not my fault he got kicked out of college and fired from his job�

That was two days ago and they are still trying to get me to change my mind.

Am I wrong for my decision and any advice on what I should do

The 28 year old with a wife, child, house, tenant, and who is already providing housing for one extended family member really needs to grow up and get his poo poo together.

Good spine on OP, glad to see the whole rest of the family backing him.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:21

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

They clearly thought they were finally getting their mooching kid out of their house lol they're so upset to learn they're still holding the bag on that

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:45

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

tinytort posted:

Getting rid of, and preventing, fleas has been a thing civilization has been focused on since basically forever. The usual response to "gently caress, minimal effort didn't work" wasn't "well, guess we're just stuck like this", it was "gently caress it, kill them with fire if we have to"

"Bugg Destroyers to His Majesty" :kimchi:

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:49

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

StrangersInTheNight posted:

They clearly thought they were finally getting their mooching kid out of their house lol they're so upset to learn they're still holding the bag on that

The unemployable college-dropout cousin calling the home-owning family man OP "childish" was a nice touch.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 18:49

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Hellblazer187 posted:

No-present uncle was fine. Weddings are dumb and should be illegal. I doubt I'll ever go to one again in my life.

Nah, they're fun, you just need better friends.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 19:46

Tobermory: Mar 31, 2011

Presenting: a very, very stupid family

AITA for trying to help my sister who loses her keys all the time but my idea backfired horribly?

quote:

Hello AITA. First time posting and I�m using a burn account because in light of the situation it feels like the safest thing to do.

My little sister (21) is constantly losing things but her keys are the main culprit. She for loses them around the house but at least 50 times since she�s been driving she�s lost them in public and a few of the times have been very scary because she got her self stranded.

In early June she lost her keys and had to pay a ton of money to get her remote lock reprogrammed. Last Friday she lost them again in a grocery but was lucky enough that the cashier found her and gave them back as she was frantic in the store. So I had a little tag made up that had her name, phone number and address so she wouldn�t have to go through replacing them again.

Earlier this week she went to six flags great adventure with some friends and truly, truly lost her keys. When she got home her car was gone. Yesterday the police found her car but completely chopped with the key in the ignition (but her house and work keys were gone). I hope it�s obvious what the police think happened.

She�s furious with me and my parents are mad as well saying I should have minded my own business. She knew the little tag was there and she even thought it was a good idea. I don�t know if I�m the AITA because she is the one who lost her keys again but it was my idea that backfired.

AITA?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:07

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

hm i wonder what these random keys open, guess i'll never kn-- *flips keyfob over* oh

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:10

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

My (22F) brothers (16M) girlfriend keeps eating my food when she comes over, while I am at work, I told him not to bring her over anymore and he insulted me, should I kick him out?

quote:

So, I'm a black woman. 22 years old. I live with my younger, 16 year old brother.

He lives with me, and not our parents, because our parents kicked him out for having drugs on him, multiple times.

Anyways, that's just a little background info, I guess, just in case you were going to ask why he lives with me.

So anyway, the problem is with his girlfriend that pretty much comes over every day.

It has happened multiple times, where she eats my food that is in the refrigerator. I have told my brother to tell her not to do it, as I am at work when she comes over, but I guess he never does.

Yesterday, since I was tired of it, I told my brother straight up that she couldn't come over anymore. I told him that she has eaten my food way too many times, and since he is not going to tell her not to, she just can't come over anymore.

He told me that my replaceable food isn't worth more than his relationship and sexual needs.

I told him that I don't care about his needs, and that it's more so about the principal of it. You don't eat someone else's food, especially when you are a visitor. I told him again to not bring her over, ever again. And that they should hang out in a park, or something.

He replied that he knew that it wasn't just about the food, and that I was really "just jealous of her long, silky hair", and that I'm just mad because I look like a "burnt rear end Mr clean"

Yes, his girlfriend is white, and yes I just chopped off all of my hair. I am a bit insecure about it, so what he said really hurt me.

I didn't say anything else, because I was so close to bursting out in tears. I just walked back to my room, slammed the door, and cried into my pillow. very softly, for a little bit.

What do I do? I don't want to kick him out because hes only 16, and I don't think he will have anywhere to go. I feel like I would be a bad sister if I did that. Especially since we are black, so I feel like I should *really* look out for him.

Tree... Law?
My boyfriend and I (27m & 27f) might break up over a tree.

quote:

I own my own house. I lived here 3 years by myself, got it by myself, did renovations by myself, etc. I�m very particular about my living space and it being respected in general. We�ve been dating for almost two years.

When I moved in, the backyard was bland and overgrown and unkept. I ended up removing a lot of weeds and poison ivy overgrowth and things beside/behind the garage, except this tree. Kind of ugly, unruly, and a tree that gets really big one day. But when I moved in, it was young and sort of small. I felt too bad to remove it from my yard and quickly grew to love it. Every year I�ve watched this tree grow slightly, and I grew weirdly attached to it. It was my favorite part of my backyard.

So yesterday to my surprise I came home to find it completely chopped down. I was horrified. I know a lot of people will think this is stupid because it�s a tree, but I don�t care. My normally calm and patient demeanor was no where to be found because I had boiled over the edge. I started yelling and ended up straight up crying over this tree.

I don�t hardly get mad ever, even over things I should be mad about. My boyfriend doesn�t understand what the big deal is and at the same time completely brushing off my feelings like they�re stupid and don�t matter.

1: you did something to my property without asking first 2: you�re basically telling me my feelings are stupid and don�t matter and 3: being an overall rear end in a top hat.

I believe this is showing me a side of him I�ve never seen before. How do I work this out?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:37

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Mustang posted:

Why is it so often the worst parents have so many kids?

Part of what got me was not only the stepson's poo poo treatment, but this line in particular:

quote:

She also says that I'm being a hypocrite taking my son, but I think that's totally different because my son DOESN'T HAVE ANOTHER PARENT. I'm all he's got.

So is she actively sabotaging her current husband from being a father-figure to her son? Just overall a weirdly defensive & overprotective attitude, I feel bad for ALL the kids in this situation :psyduck:

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:42

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

As a scatter-brained idiot, I understand absentmindedly setting your keys down somewhere stupid after you get home. But what are you doing with your keys to repeatedly lose them while you're out? If you're not putting them in a pocket or a bag, what are you doing with them?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:43

Nurglings: May 6, 2016

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My boyfriend and I (27m & 27f) might break up over a tree.

I'm always astounded reading stories like this that the OP ends with "how do I work this out?" or "how can I move past this?"

you don't! or, rather, why would you want to? time to :sever:

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:45

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Tree... Law?
My boyfriend and I (27m & 27f) might break up over a tree.

As goes the tree, so goes the boyfriend.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:46

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

AKA Pseudonym posted:

As a scatter-brained idiot, I understand absentmindedly setting your keys down somewhere stupid after you get home. But what are you doing with your keys to repeatedly lose them while you're out? If you're not putting them in a pocket or a bag, what are you doing with them?

Just the normal things that you'd do with your keys, such as poking fruit to determine ripeness, or whenever you pass a mirror pulling out your keys to admire yourself while holding them and thinking "hey check out that cool person, they look really great holding those keys!" and then pretending the keys are a laser blaster while making funny noises with your mouth

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:52

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

If you don't pull out your keys and carefully set them on the ground before tying your shoes, can you claim to be truly alive?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:54

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Tree... Law?
My boyfriend and I (27m & 27f) might break up over a tree.

Plant him in the trees place. Maybe about 6 feet down?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:54

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Pirate Radar posted:

I SAID I L~What a fool belieeeeeeeeeves, he seeeeees, no wise man has the power~

Michael McDonald crooning is hell to some, but heaven to me lmao

# ? Jul 21, 2023 20:56

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

AKA Pseudonym posted:

As a scatter-brained idiot, I understand absentmindedly setting your keys down somewhere stupid after you get home. But what are you doing with your keys to repeatedly lose them while you're out? If you're not putting them in a pocket or a bag, what are you doing with them?

The one thing I can think of is that she does keep the keys in her pocket, but has her wallet in the same pocket, so the events go like this:
-remove keys since they�re blocking you from getting to your wallet
-put keys down on the counter
-pay for whatever
-put wallet back in pocket
-forget about keys

The other option is that she just carries her keys in her hands all the time, so the instant she has to pick up anything, she sets them down wherever.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 21:12

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Tobermory posted:

Presenting: a very, very stupid family

AITA for trying to help my sister who loses her keys all the time but my idea backfired horribly?

I'm occasionally absent minded and I had a friend who joked that I should keep everything I take with me on retractable lanyards so if I put them down somewhere they'd just ZIIIIIP back into my purse or backpack.

She should actually do this, like little kids who have strings on their mittens.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 21:15

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

AKA Pseudonym posted:

As a scatter-brained idiot, I understand absentmindedly setting your keys down somewhere stupid after you get home. But what are you doing with your keys to repeatedly lose them while you're out? If you're not putting them in a pocket or a bag, what are you doing with them?

I can't tell you how many people will come over to my place and toss their keys on the little table by the front door. And then proceed to look in their bag or pockets when they're about to leave before remembering that they did what they always do. What makes it even more goddamn strange is that I live in NYC and most of them don't have a vehicle, so why do you have your keys out in the first place?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 21:21

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Gross, if someone put their keys where I put my keys I'd hand them back immediately.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 21:28

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

That is an amazing number of times to lose your keys. At that point you got something going on mentally. either bog standard ADHD or something wild like a brain tumor that makes your brain not able to see your car keys because they're important and the part of your brain that stores important things got squished.

I saw a thing once about a brain injury that makes you unable to see your left side. Like they just don't brush that side of their teeth, can't shave that side of their face, can't see it in a mirror. Of course, the dumbest option is that she has some kind of helplessness fetish or something. Like that woman with 0 hygiene and it turned out she had a fetish for being dirty and wanted her BF to clean her.

Whatever she's got going on, if losing your keys that many times can't motivate you to fix it, getting your car stolen a few times probably won't do it either.

A Moose fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Jul 21, 2023

# ? Jul 21, 2023 21:33

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?

quote:

I (47m) made the same promise to my two kids, Ronan (21) and Lana (18). I told them that if they graduated highschool with above a 3.5 gpa I would buy them a new car in addition to a graduation gift.

Ronan absolutely rocked highschool. He was his class valedictorian, played three sports, was captain of the debate team, participated in model UN conferences frequently, was on the student council, and volunteered extensively. He now goes to an Ivy League school with a generous scholarship. Of course, he more than met my requirement and I bought him a nice car that he chose.

Lana, on the other hand, struggled. She needed tutoring all four years and barely had any extracurriculars. I�d never say this to her face, but I�m just relieved that she graduated at all. I�m proud of her for working so hard to pass her classes, but she mostly got Ds and Cs and plans on going to our local community college that basically takes anyone. Unfortunately, she didn�t get a high enough gpa to meet my requirements. I did get her a nice graduation gift, but it wasn�t nearly as expensive as Ronan�s car.

When the end of the school year rolled around, Lana started showing me different used cars that she would like. I assumed that she was planning on buying one for herself and wanted my advice, so I worked with her to find one in good condition at a fair price, and she finally picked one out.

The trouble came about two weeks after she made a decision about her car. She came to me and asked �what ever happened to that car I wanted?� I was confused, and said �I don�t know, did you buy it?� From there, we both became more and more incredulous, until it came out that she had expected me to buy the car for her. Apparently, for years she had assumed that my promise to buy her a new car if she got a certain gpa meant that I would buy her a used car regardless of her academic accomplishments.

She accused me of favoritism and misogyny, and said that if Ronan had �failed school� (her words) like she had, I would have still bought him a car because he�s my favorite and also a boy. This is not, and was never, the case. If she had just asked, I would have made this clear to her.

Lana went to the rest of the family with some sob story about favoritism and now, nearly a month later, my sister, brother, and parents have all chipped in to get Lana a used car. Everyone who chipped in has been very distant to me and Ronan. I�ve tried to explain myself but no one will give me the time of day, Ronan is the only one who doesn�t think I�m a misogynist and a terrible father. AITA?

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:14

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

ad090 posted:

AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?

Hmm it's almost like tying rewards to outcomes instead of effort is... bad? I mean at no point does it sound like she was unmotivated.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:23

Burning_Monk: Jan 11, 2005; Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know

ad090 posted:

AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?

At first I thought the girl had failed some classes or did something horrible at school, but she just got B's and was still active in several clubs according to the dad in the comments.

It was misogyny all along!

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:26

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

hm i wonder if anything was happening in the last few years that might have made sports and extracurriculars and volunteer work harder to do

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:26

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Rescue Toaster posted:

Hmm it's almost like tying rewards to outcomes instead of effort is... bad? I mean at no point does it sound like she was unmotivated.

Haven�t heard this, is there any specific reason? I have always heard that the best goals are specific and outcome based.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:38

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

ad090 posted:

AITA for buying my son a car but not my daughter?

my grandpa did this poo poo. he promised all the grand children he would give us 10$/a and 5$/b 1$/c then when i got straight as instead of ponying up the 70 bucks he was like sorry i payed for your older cousin who got straight cs now i dont wanna pay for you.

basically the same thing he was like ill buy you a cheap used beater car and teach you to drive if you do good in your first two years of hs. meaning you did bs or better. older cousin got it again and i didnt.

atleast my woman hating grandpa still gave the girl the car / money and didnt give me the dude the car. whats ops excuse?

yeah i know she didnt make it but honestly it sounds like she was set up to fail because you dont just not know your kids academic prowess. i love my neice but shes a dumb gently caress she would never get a 3.5 in hs.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:38

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

He's certainly TA, but "I'll buy you a new car if you get a 3.5 GPA" should not be interpreted as "I'll buy you a new car if you get a 3.5 GPA, less than a 3.5 GPA gets you a used car".

My (46F) husband (50M) has a porn collection of one of his students

quote:

Both my husband and I teach at the same University within the same department. Because of this, we have a lot of overlap with students we both teach. One of these students is a girl I'll call Kate. Kate is nice, smart, and very pretty, but not someone I think about a lot. I knew she was also in some of my husband's courses, but we never really spoke about her. Just a normal student, I guess.

I had a smartphone that I got rid of a few years ago due to wasting too much time on it. Now I have a small flip phone I carry for emergencies. My husband has a normal phone. We went on vacation recently and used his phone to take pictures of our trip. Yesterday he was out of the house and had left his phone charging. I decided I wanted to send my sister some nice pictures of our vacation. He didn't have a code on his phone before and I was surprised to see he'd added one, but he'd never cared if I'd used his phone before and he uses the same code for almost everything, so I had an easy time guessing and letting myself in. I realize that this is something a lot of people would consider very snoopy and inapropriate, but like I said we've always been open with each other and I had no intention of digging up dirt on him or sneaking through his private stuff. I assumed he had added the code sometime when we were travelling to make it harder to steal or something.

I start scrolling through his pictures and I find an untitled folder. From the preview I could see it was full of nudes. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I couldn't help myself. And when I did, my heart fell into my stomach because they were all pictures of Kate. He had probably fifty nudes of her on his phone. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I still can't. I am horrified he would do this to me and to her. At this point I didn't know how he had gotten the pictures or what. Most of them were screenshots and had filters on them, so I dug around some more and found he had made a snapchat account with a fake name. The only friend he had was a girl with a name I didn't recognize. I looked through their messaging history and didn't find anything, so I'm assuming he deleted all the messages from her. But her profile had many, many nude photos you could click through, and at this point it became clear that the mystery girl was Kate using a pseudonym. At this point I set his phone back and went on my computer to dig some more. Googling Kate's fake name brought me to a profile on a webcam porn site she had created. There was a lot of porn as well as an advertisement for a snapchat you could pay to be friends with her on for more porn. I am assuming this is how my husband added her. I am also assuming he is one of her paying customers on the website, unbeknownst to me. I have no idea if Kate knows her professor is buying her porn, but that seems unlikely to me.

What the gently caress do I do? I was too shocked to say anything to him when he came home last night and he could tell that I was upset, but I lied and told him I got into a spat with my sister so I wouldn't have to confront him. She's making the porn of her own free will so far as I can tell, but this is so deeply wrong to me. I know I can't ignore this and I also don't want to accidentally out Kate to the entire school and ruin her reputation. Just... what do I do?

Edit: Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to administration tomorrow to report this. Regardless of whether she consented to making the content, I don't feel like it's ethical to grade someone you pay and at the very least I don't want to be responsible for grading Kate in the future.

Common consensus from men commenting seems to be that a) there is something wrong with me or else he wouldn't have done it, and b) it's completely normal for men to pay money for porn of teenagers they know and build a collection around that, and if you feel any negative emotions towards realizing your husband is doing so, you're an ugly, old fashioned prude. So be it. I will be a single, happy, employed, and morally consistent ugly prude.

I have screenshots and found unexplained transactions on our shared account that I believe were payments for private shows. I am staying with a friend. Probably will not update this further. Goodnight, everyone.

Edit 2: No, I am not "outing" Kate or putting her on blast. I'm not sure how so many people got that out of what I wrote. I am reporting my husband for inapropriate behaviour with a student and asking for her to be moved from my class due to a possible conflict of interests. Doing porn as a student isn't against the rules and she's not getting punished.

Stay classy, Reddit.

DeadMansSuspenders fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jul 21, 2023

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:40

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

MagusofStars posted:

The one thing I can think of is that she does keep the keys in her pocket, but has her wallet in the same pocket, so the events go like this:
-remove keys since they�re blocking you from getting to your wallet
-put keys down on the counter
-pay for whatever
-put wallet back in pocket
-forget about keys

The other option is that she just carries her keys in her hands all the time, so the instant she has to pick up anything, she sets them down wherever.

A friend of mine had a bundle of keychains all looped together in a Gordian Knot of keys, airport-grade keychains and lanyards. It was maybe a couple of pounds of metal and plastic so big that she always carried them in her hand.

Maybe this person is like that, but I can�t imagine forgetting to pick up her keywad after setting it down anywhere.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:40

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# ? May 29, 2024 19:31

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Haven�t heard this, is there any specific reason? I have always heard that the best goals are specific and outcome based.

Effort to result ratio is going to vary wildly between people. For instance, one kid can barely study and get A+s while another might have to burn the midnight oil just to get Bs and Cs.

The problem is that this results in the first kid not knowing how to actually study and then drowning once they get to university once rote memorization no longer works.

Also, it's important to scale goals according to the individual; someone who can easily ace academically is just gonna easily pass a 3.5 GPA, which means it's barely a reward for good work. If someone is putting in actual effort and getting spit in return, then why bother even trying.

There are gonna be times when obviously you need to get the goal done and good effort and well wishes aren't gonna mean diddly, but in this context it's important to reward effort spent.

# ? Jul 21, 2023 22:44

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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