this thread is for having sex with cars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > this thread is for having sex with cars

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

DR FRASIER KRANG posted:

so if Seattle passes a law (like they did with the right turn on red stuff) is the restauranteur analog that they just ignore the law and don't implement it?

I would bet that is what would happen.

Plus, the state legislature would probably pass a superseding law banning cities from requiring drive-thrus to allow non-cars through.

# ? Jul 29, 2023 17:21

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:48

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

Shark Tank boy wonder Kevin O'Leary **allegedly** killed some people with his boat but you see his wife was the one driving! Ha ha, classic Kevin.

# ? Jul 29, 2023 17:21

Car Hater: May 7, 2007; wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!

Posting on the devil's page for the devil's machine

gently caress cars

# ? Jul 29, 2023 17:37

Hubbert: Mar 25, 2007; At a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

hail car satan

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:02

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

In the Cars movies there's a car Pope which has all sorts of hosed up implications like car Jesus existed and was tortured to death by Roman cars

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:12

mystes: May 31, 2006

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

In the Cars movies there's a car Pope which has all sorts of hosed up implications like car Jesus existed and was tortured to death by Roman cars

my 12 year old nephew is also very excited about weird cars universe implications like that

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:13

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Cool page number for a bad invention: bicycles

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:25

mystes: May 31, 2006

Milo and POTUS posted:

Cool page number for an extremely bad take

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:37

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

# ? Jul 29, 2023 18:51

Jokerpilled Drudge: Jan 27, 2010; by Pragmatica

walked to work where I helped people ride bikes all day

last night worked a bike valet for a concert to people ride bikes to and from concert

cars suck bikes rule

also walking is good too

# ? Jul 29, 2023 19:17

BonHair: Apr 28, 2007

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

In the Cars movies there's a car Pope which has all sorts of hosed up implications like car Jesus existed and was tortured to death by Roman cars

Those are technically Fiats, so you know, not exactly gold or silver cars.

Also cars are pretty anti-Christ in terms of being about possession of worldly goods, flashing wealth, individuality and so forth. But also they are a key element in the coming doomsday, so that's kinda regular Christ.

# ? Jul 29, 2023 20:21

RadiRoot: Feb 3, 2007

# ? Jul 29, 2023 20:33

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

RadiRoot posted:

if you drive a car you're driving with the devil!!

# ? Jul 29, 2023 20:49

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

BonHair posted:

Those are technically Fiats, so you know, not exactly gold or silver cars.

Also cars are pretty anti-Christ in terms of being about possession of worldly goods, flashing wealth, individuality and so forth. But also they are a key element in the coming doomsday, so that's kinda regular Christ.

I would say the most christian vehicle is a pedal pub because it involves a shared effort and a shared communion

# ? Jul 29, 2023 20:52

BonHair: Apr 28, 2007

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I would say the most christian vehicle is a pedal pub because it involves a shared effort and a shared communion

Actually it's a rope ferry, because walking on water and maybe baptism, but like a really big one where you need to pull together

# ? Jul 29, 2023 20:56

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

In the Cars movies there's a car Pope which has all sorts of hosed up implications like car Jesus existed and was tortured to death by Roman cars

# ? Jul 29, 2023 21:00

Cup Runneth Over: Aug 8, 2009; She said life's
Too short to worry
Life's too long to wait
It's too short
Not to love everybody
Life's too long to hate

if you drive a car you ride with hitler

silicone thrills posted:

I don't pretend to understand everyones disabilities but I feel like being handicapped and having a truck that high are quite at odds, you know?

au contraire

Dog Case posted:

Apparently car rules apply to boats too and you can just be like "I guess I ran into them because I couldn't see where I was going"

https://unofficialnetworks.com/2023/07/24/motorboat-runs-over-fishing-boat/

lmfao this article was written by chatgpt, what the gently caress man, the internet is garbage nowadays

# ? Jul 29, 2023 23:46

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Irony.or.Death posted:

Related: does it matter what I get in terms of knee/elbow pads? The end of that session made it very clear that I need them, probably looking at another week before I have enough skin back on my knee to get out there again and I'm just starting to make some real progress so this sucks.

You don't need any of that poo poo. Practice in the grass if you want to pedal. Take the pedals off and use your feet if you want to practice your initial balance.

My god don't practice on pavement.

# ? Jul 30, 2023 00:00

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

# ? Jul 30, 2023 00:22

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

Cup Runneth Over posted:

lmfao this article was written by chatgpt, what the gently caress man, the internet is garbage nowadays

It also links to the original article about the video from January 2018. lol.

Anyway I sleep in a big bed with my bike.

# ? Jul 30, 2023 01:33

Real hurthling!: Sep 11, 2001

Hubbert posted:

hail car satan

https://youtu.be/Vai6YG3mYs8

# ? Jul 30, 2023 02:00

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

I hate my idiot moron country so much lmao

# ? Jul 30, 2023 05:18

Mauser: Dec 16, 2003; How did I even get here, son?!

I have a habit of making a quick stop to remove all the scooters left in bike lanes when I'm riding around on my bike. I like heaving them so they land on the handles. Some guy came to a skidding halt behind me on his bicycle and hopped off to go stand the scooter up that I had just tossed. Unfortunately, I have no idea what he was saying to me because he was almost whispering in Spanish and I don't speak Spanish, but whatever buddy.

I also got a chance to watch some guy try to parallel park one of those massive pickup trucks in a giant space for the entire duration of a long red light I didn't have to wait for. Came in head first and then just rocked it back and forth four or five times. Pathetic.

Edit: hail Satan

# ? Jul 30, 2023 16:38

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

I watched some lady commit to a six-point u-turn to get a parallel spot on the other side of the street. as she held up both directions of traffic, another car snaked out from an adjacent lot and parked in the spot she wanted.

lol fuckin owned.

# ? Jul 30, 2023 16:41

Weembles: Apr 19, 2004

One of the recent fads in my neighborhood is complaining about the back-in diagonal parking that the city has been putting in to replace a stretch of parallel parking because of how dangerous it is to back into a parking space.

I was going to point out that backing into a diagonal spot was no different than the first step of parallel parking when I stopped and remembered that none of those people know how to parallel park.

# ? Jul 30, 2023 16:52

72923: Jul 30, 2023

# ? Jul 30, 2023 16:55

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

vroom

https://twitter.com/nealrogers/status/1685763731706556417

# ? Jul 30, 2023 23:21

Minera: Sep 26, 2007; All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.

SKULL.GIF posted:

vroom

https://twitter.com/nealrogers/status/1685763731706556417

Milo and POTUS posted:

Cool page number for a bad invention: bicycles

if he had been in a car he would have been fine and the motorcyclist would have died instead. what a sad waste of a life.

remember your abc

Always
Be in
Car

# ? Jul 30, 2023 23:31

Mister Speaker: May 8, 2007; WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR

I hate linking to 6ixbuzz but has this been shared yet?

https://twitter.com/6ixbuzztv/status/1685445867619168256

# ? Jul 30, 2023 23:33

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

Mister Speaker posted:

I hate linking to 6ixbuzz but has this been shared yet?

https://twitter.com/6ixbuzztv/status/1685445867619168256

looks like the coppers found him

quote:

Corey Lane, 25, of Toronto, was arrested and charged with:

Possession of a Weapon
Mischief to Property Under $5000
two counts of Fail to Stop for Police
four counts of Dangerous Operation
Possession of Property Obtained By Crime Under $5000
Drive Motor Vehicle While Suspended
Use Unauthorized Plate
He was scheduled to appear at the Toronto Regional Bail Centre, 2201 Finch Avenue West, on Sunday, July 30, 2023, at 10 a.m., in room 105.

Audrey Humphreys, 18, of Toronto, was arrested and charged with:

Carry Concealed Weapon
She is scheduled to appear in court at the Ontario Court of Justice Toronto, 10 Armoury St, on Wednesday, September 13, 2023, at 11 a.m., in room 203.

The two remaining accused were released unconditionally.