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Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

Cat Hassler posted:

Did they do Jim Marshall’s fumble recovery touchdown safety yet?

I was a Vikings fan before the Seahawks were a franchise so by age 11 I’d experienced quite a bit of heartbreak following a team

Episode 1 runs from the founding of the team through their first Super Bowl appearance

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MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004

Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

Mega64 posted:

If you could determine stuff without refs then how could they rig the games?

^^^^
How else would they say a first down isn't a first down without a 3x5 card?

Or giving Pickett a first down on national television last year after he was tackled for a loss?

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

The human element. The reason we all watch sports.

Hizawk
Jun 18, 2004

High on the Lions.

I think the Cleveland fumble recovery being awarded to the not Browns is probably the most egregious recent ref mistake

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


Hizawk posted:

I think the Cleveland fumble recovery being awarded to the not Browns is probably the most egregious recent ref mistake

you know as well as i do that Charlie The Browns never gets to kick the football

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

sweet thursday posted:

The human element. The reason we all watch sports.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



All of humanity dies because they need some earth but they're stuck on field turf.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


Kalli posted:

All of humanity dies because they need some earth but they're stuck on field turf.

i thought it was because the fifth element was cut from the team moments before for being too soft

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Docjowles posted:

The Jon Bois Vikings thing is good so far. Episode one wasn’t super funny (although there are a few wild rear end stories) but it was very interesting. I don’t know much about this era of football in general or the Vikings in particular so it’s all new to me. He’s done a good job setting the stage for how improbable it is that they’ve never won a Super Bowl.

I'm sorry for their fans but certain teams just should never win a Super Bowl, it's what makes winning one more special. The Bengals, Vikings or Lions winning a Super Bowl would make it practically meaningless. That's just how it works and the Football Gods agree.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

I'm sorry for their fans but certain teams just should never win a Super Bowl, it's what makes winning one more special. The Bengals, Vikings or Lions winning a Super Bowl would make it practically meaningless. That's just how it works and the Football Gods agree.

I'd like to add that while the Raiders have won it in the past, never again being able to reach those heights but rather chasing the dragon like an addict looking for his next hit is exactly where the Raiders should be for the rest of time.

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Mega64 posted:

If you could determine stuff without refs then how could they rig the games?

Watch it come out one day that MrLogan was controlling the refs all along

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

I'm sorry for their fans but certain teams just should never win a Super Bowl, it's what makes winning one more special. The Bengals, Vikings or Lions winning a Super Bowl would make it practically meaningless. That's just how it works and the Football Gods agree.

After their performance in the last one, the Falcons should be added to that list.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Docjowles posted:

Episode 1 runs from the founding of the team through their first Super Bowl appearance

That said, they did not mention Marshall’s wrong way run in the episode.

Harlock
Jan 15, 2006

Tap "A" to drink!!!

Seems bad

https://twitter.com/FOS/status/1686563985590493185

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

I think Goodell might actually publicly execute him. That’s a lot of bets on your own team.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

I think Goodell might actually publicly execute him. That’s a lot of bets on your own team.

He's even facing 2 years in prison apparently.

https://twitter.com/NFL_DovKleiman/status/1686766839257243648?s=20

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


:eng99:

Pain of Mind
Jul 10, 2004
You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t
As long as he bet them to win money line I am ok with it. Anything else gets sketchy.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

PRISON??

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


kiimo posted:

PRISON??

Looks like it's not because of the gambling, but because of fraud/tampering related to the gambling:

quote:

The charge of tampering with records stems from Uwazurike’s alleged efforts to conceal his identity and deceive authorities by falsifying personal electronic sports wagering records.

The period covered by the complaint spans from February 7, 2021, to July 10, 2022, during which the accused player reportedly participated in the illicit gambling activities.

Tampering with records is classified as an aggravated misdemeanor in the state of Iowa, carrying a maximum punishment of up to two years in prison.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


Would he have had to do that if NFL didn't have such a strict stance on gambling?

Jean-Paul Shartre
Jan 16, 2015

this sentence no verb


3 DONG HORSE posted:

Would he have had to do that if NFL didn't have such a strict stance on gambling?

Would I have had to kill all those witnesses if the State didn't have such a strict stance on bank robbery?

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

See, it wasn’t Hackett’s fault, rehire him!

Shrimpy
May 18, 2004

Sir, I'm going to need to see your ticket.

SKULL.GIF posted:

Looks like it's not because of the gambling, but because of fraud/tampering related to the gambling:

Sean Payton posted:

That's not an incrimination on him, but an incrimination on the head coach, the GM, the president, and everybody else who watched it all happen

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
I'm curious how these guys actually fared on the bets they placed.

Also, I had no idea this was a thing having never watched the new XFL. I still think eliminating the kickoff would be fine too.

https://twitter.com/NFL_DovKleiman/status/1686789890392944643?s=20

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Yeah, the XFL kickoff might need a few tweaks, but they absolutely should switch to it. It makes the kickoff into a for real football play again, without the car crash aspect

Lifespan
Mar 5, 2002

wandler20 posted:

Also, I had no idea this was a thing having never watched the new XFL. I still think eliminating the kickoff would be fine too.

https://twitter.com/NFL_DovKleiman/status/1686789890392944643?s=20

If it means people will actually try to return the ball again, I'm all for it.

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

Kalli posted:

Yeah, the XFL kickoff might need a few tweaks, but they absolutely should switch to it. It makes the kickoff into a for real football play again, without the car crash aspect

I think I'm triggered on kickoffs because of the commercial, kickoff, commercial thing they did for so many years. I believe they've mostly gone away from that now tho. Also, my team being historically bad at returning kicks.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

This dude is never going to play NFL football again.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization


Jean-Paul Shartre posted:

Would I have had to kill all those witnesses if the State didn't have such a strict stance on bank robbery?

You're a moron lol

Maybe your point would make sense if the NFL didn't actually encourage gambling??

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

3 DONG HORSE posted:

You're a moron lol

Maybe your point would make sense if the NFL didn't actually encourage gambling??

The NFL also encourages drinking but Kirk Cousins isn't showing up to games sloshed out of his gourd

Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

3 DONG HORSE posted:

You're a moron lol

Maybe your point would make sense if the NFL didn't actually encourage gambling??

Sorry man but "my client only did that crime to hide all his OTHER crimes" is a bad take unless you're a former president of the united states :chaostrump:

I think the NFL's gambling policies suck and something probably has to give with the tension between the league making billions off gambling while also having a zero tolerance policy toward gambling. But betting on your own team's games, and then hiding your identity because you know it's wrong and going to get your rear end in trouble is such a third rail issue, dude cannot be loving doing that.

Acebuckeye13 posted:

The NFL also encourages drinking but Kirk Cousins isn't showing up to games sloshed out of his gourd

I would like to see it happen tho

Also the NFL's history is absolutely FILLED with insane stories of alcohol abuse lol. https://www.si.com/nfl/2015/12/28/max-mcgee-green-bay-packers-super-bowl-i

Docjowles fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 2, 2023

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.
Yeah lol alcoholism is a huge issue in the NFL.

Dudes self medicate pain with it. And players extremely have shown up lit to practices and games.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

this man will never play football again for a crime of this caliber. anyway download one of these 400 sports betting apps! bet on stuff! gambling is great! everyone should gamble

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Betting the over for number of games suspended for gambling

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Acebuckeye13 posted:

The NFL also encourages drinking but Kirk Cousins isn't showing up to games sloshed out of his gourd

Kirk tearfully apologizing to the team in the locker room because he let himself get out of control and had a second lemonade before the game

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

Dexo posted:

Yeah lol alcoholism is a huge issue in the NFL.

Dudes self medicate pain with it. And players extremely have shown up lit to practices and games.

There's fair, probably could have picked a better example. Regardless though, even if you have issues with the NFL's current gambling policy, letting players bet on their own games is absolutely unacceptable for any kind of organized sport.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

let them bet straight up wins in their own games, outlaw the rest. the fat cats don't need to math out scenarios or be scared of anything about it besides maybe people on good teams getting too rich for their liking............ buying up all the teams........................... voting power. for a better tomorrow. DraftKings.

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feller
Jul 5, 2006


3 DONG HORSE posted:

You're a moron lol

Maybe your point would make sense if the NFL didn't actually encourage gambling??

I don't think it encourages its players to gamble, does it?

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