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So after checking this weeks crew stool samples, it looks like almost everyone has intestinal parasites. Someone in the ships kitchen is putting poo poo into the food. Oh btw I’m not the doctor, I’m the janitor who put holocams in all the toilets. I was cleaning up in here last week and I found the doctors body, looked like something sucked all his organs out through his butthole.
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Jul 23, 2023 21:44
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Outrail posted:Has anyone else noticed that banging sound coming from the hull? It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I SAID DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT
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Jul 23, 2023 22:04
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Pinche Rudo posted:So after checking this weeks crew stool samples, it looks like almost everyone has intestinal parasites. Someone in the ships kitchen is putting poo poo into the food. Can I get a check of your ID badge?
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Jul 23, 2023 23:07
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redshirt posted:Can I get a check of your ID badge? Do you seriously not remember me? Two weeks ago you asked me to send the toilet holocam feeds to your personal quarters for “security purposes”
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Jul 23, 2023 23:41
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Hi I'm the head of cryogenics and stasis support. I'm currently eating the entire crew one by one. HR really dropped the ball.
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Jul 24, 2023 00:28
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Pinche Rudo posted:Do you seriously not remember me? Two weeks ago you asked me to send the toilet holocam feeds to your personal quarters for “security purposes” Tell it to the Cap'n
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Jul 24, 2023 00:31
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Carlos Lantana posted:Hi You'd think people would start noticing pretty quick.
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Jul 24, 2023 00:31
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Not a lot of noticing going on when your core temp is 1.4c and your brain is swimming in bioglycol Also Wayne From security has developed a taste for liver and is currently marinating the Bosun
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Jul 24, 2023 00:45
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In space, no one can hear you pine for a nice chianti
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Jul 24, 2023 00:47
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Hey is that glory hole still open?
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Jul 24, 2023 00:58
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This is just another reminder we are gonna need a stringent mental health screening.
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Jul 24, 2023 01:01
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redshirt posted:This is just another reminder we are gonna need a stringent mental health screening. Ị̶̧̞͔̄̎ ̵̮͇̬̱͠d̴̤̯͋̈́͌̚o̸̳̊̽̕n̶̦͂͊̄̂͘̕’̵̡̲͔̳̜̒̅͗͗͠t̶̛͓̄̒̾̔ ̸̧̭̪͈̩̤̇͌̈́̈ş̵̥̤̲̎ë̴̠̯e̸̹̥̪͓̟͂ ̷̛̦͕͖̻̫͐̕͜͝w̴̡̰̤͎̫͆͜ḩ̶͙͈͚̌̏̈́͋̕̚y̸̤̖͑,̸̧̳̩̣͍͈̌͒̑͆͆ ̶̤̬̄͂̃I̶̹͗’̶̩̗̥̐̀̏͝͝m̶̻̳̹̺̄͌̒͠ ̵̳̫̭̍̀d̷̗̼͉̠͉̮́̀o̷͇̒͛̎̆̕͜͝ì̸̛̺̻̩̾n̸͕͆̈́̾g̶̢̹̰̝͈̈́̀̀̚͝ ̶̗̞̌͊̌j̸̫̅̃͑̆u̸̠̪͎̾̉s̷̯̼̲͓͓͋́͜t̶̺͍͓͎̟̿́͗̾̍͠ͅ ̵̦͖̳̺̮̙̿͂͑f̵͉̻̠̮̍̃̃i̴͈͈͓̒̋n̴̳̱̙̼̙̓̔̀͐͝͝e̵̠͇͕̞̔̓
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Jul 24, 2023 01:07
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redshirt posted:This is just another reminder we are gonna need a stringent mental health screening. We asked Andy from Drive Physics if he felt the things had gone off the rails, seeing as he is the last thawed crewmember. He locked himself in the flying bridge with 200kg of nutrigruel and has threatened to scuttle the boat if we get within 100metres of the hatch
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Jul 24, 2023 01:30
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Carlos Lantana posted:We asked Andy from Drive Physics if he felt the things had gone off the rails, seeing as he is the last thawed crewmember. Captain, I request we gas the entire ship segment.
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Jul 24, 2023 01:34
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redshirt posted:Captain, I request we gas the entire ship segment. Whoa whoa let’s not be hasty… *suits up in Space Assassin gear* Put me in coach, I’ll take this rear end in a top hat out
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Jul 24, 2023 01:36
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redshirt posted:Captain, I request we gas the entire ship segment. Mods!?
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Jul 24, 2023 01:40
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Tunicate posted:Mods!? It's laughing gas of course.
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Jul 24, 2023 01:42
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Things of Callisto We come bearing messages of peace and prosperity We have abundant snacks Ignore Andy, he is a huge bitch.
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Jul 24, 2023 02:06
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Do it Andy
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Jul 24, 2023 02:53
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I was watching the toilet holocam on the bridge and it looks like Andy had an accident trying to use the Captain’s rectal stimulator chair. There’s a lot of blood.
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Jul 24, 2023 03:50
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Carlos Lantana posted:Hi You're going to ruin your appetite. Im making space loaf tonight!
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Jul 24, 2023 04:26
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redshirt posted:Captain, I request we gas the entire ship segment. Fingers steepled, I give a curt nod. Now it is time to enter my private sanctum, to process the momentous events of the day. Pinche Rudo posted:I was watching the toilet holocam on the bridge and it looks like Andy had an accident trying to use the Captain’s rectal stimulator chair. There’s a lot of blood. gently caress
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Jul 25, 2023 03:19
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arr we're whalers on the jovian moon, we've got a space harpoon
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Jul 25, 2023 05:04
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redshirt posted:Captain, I request we gas the entire ship 
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Jul 25, 2023 15:55
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anyone want to huff some hydrazine?
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Jul 26, 2023 05:14
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numberoneposter posted:anyone want to huff some hydrazine? You got any of that... dioxygen difluoride?
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Jul 26, 2023 07:33
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Huff the void man, it really draws out the toxins and bad karma.
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Jul 28, 2023 16:56
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Are we there yet?
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Jul 28, 2023 19:51
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Day 629 - Preparation for orbital insertion
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Aug 5, 2023 00:13
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redshirt posted:Day 629 - Preparation for orbital insertion Where the hell is Callisto and where did this debris field come from?
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Aug 5, 2023 00:29
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Outrail posted:Where the hell is Callisto and where did this debris field come from? It's right there Cal! We've trained for this!
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Aug 5, 2023 00:33
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So far this journey has been nothing like TOS, the recruiter definitely lied to me. I expected at least one away team mission by now.
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Aug 5, 2023 00:52
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redshirt posted:Day 629 - Preparation for orbital insertion Heh
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Aug 5, 2023 00:53
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Tuna-Fire posted:So far this journey has been nothing like TOS, the recruiter definitely lied to me. I expected at least one away team mission by now. As we approach orbit, your time is here to shine!
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Aug 5, 2023 00:53
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Yes of course, get your yuks out as we insert ourselves into Callisto's orbital resonance....
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Aug 5, 2023 00:55
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I came down to the loading bay to prep for the away mission, but the shuttlecraft is full of empty doritos bags and piss jugs - just what is going on here?
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Aug 5, 2023 01:00
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did anyone ever find out what the tapping sound coming from the outside was? I've got a jar of finger/toenail clippings that I refuse to return into the biomass recycling system. how do I tell everyone that I've lost my internal monologue?
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Aug 5, 2023 02:39
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I'm here for you Cap'n. Feel free to vent.
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Aug 5, 2023 02:41
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(Tap, tap, tap...) Please let us in We want to welcome all of you You're so bright and warm
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Aug 6, 2023 09:17
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 06:19 |
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Another Sunday night, all systems check out.
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Aug 7, 2023 03:04
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