bedpan posted:

here is the other "relevant" excerpt:

Winkle-Daddy posted:

ohhhh I thought you were implying he threatened his wife or something else. this is why I used the generic "suicidal statements." and yeah, she sounds real lame :/

D-Pad posted:

Somebody post the quote about marrying an air force intelligence officer

quote:

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory

D-Pad posted:

Found it. Don't have original posters name but it's an old classic:

Engorged Pedipalps posted:

getting space STDs because your husband is a full bird colonel and got personally acquainted with "alien biologics"

bedpan posted:

and this story didn't even get to the point that the air force intel officer got to full colonel

bedpan posted:

here is the other "relevant" excerpt:

Marzzle posted:

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Tbh I didn't know Ken was this kind of journalist. I thought he was mostly just an active twitter user

my bony fealty posted:

Klippenstein and the Black Vault guy are both paid agents of the CIA and also pedophiles

Riot Bimbo posted:

if anyone is bored enough, someone do a 1-3 card pull for the query "summary of leap day 2020 for riot bimbo"

Perry Mason Jar posted:

Yeah I've got depression and PTSD and I've never visited any horrors upon anyone so gently caress him

Space Camp fuckup posted:

I’ve noticed this too, yeah. A lot of their arguments tend to be rooted in ignorance (“how come UFOs only happen in America???”) and arrogance. They’re the only ones who really understand how the world works, you know.

krispykremessuck posted:

intel post was written by shimazu from gip who I believe still posts as Lt. Col. J. Krusinski who was himself a usaf Intel guy or something

D-Pad posted:

Hmm I never go in GIP but it would be interesting to get a goon with that background to come in here and give his thoughts on all this

D-Pad posted:

Hmm I never go in GIP but it would be interesting to get a goon with that background to come in here and give his thoughts on all this

krispykremessuck posted:

intel post was written by shimazu from gip who I believe still posts as Lt. Col. J. Krusinski who was himself a usaf Intel guy or something

The Demilich posted:

The first red flag.

A redundant statement.


Edit: for clarity cause imgur compression destroyed the image
Inverted six of pentacles, the hanged, inverted justice

Same (unless you count enduring my personality)

neutral milf hotel posted:

after some digging I found Ken's deleted tweet.

I found this rando's tweet that quotes Ken

https://twitter.com/taylordotbiz/status/1684239775648165902

here's the link to ken's deleted tweet

https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/1684236822740709379

here's an archive of it

https://web.archive.org/web/20230726183607/https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/1684236822740709379

after some finagling I was able to load the deleted tweet from by twitter app cache

bedpan posted:

thanks for digging this up!

my bony fealty posted:

Ken Klippenstein - is he a fed, or just a retard?

my bony fealty posted:

Ken Klippenstein - is he a fed, or just a retard?

Rorobb posted:

really feels like the “chapo left” is just being anti disclosure because they think they’re too smart for it

Slavvy posted:

What would someone like ken have been up to before twitter existed? Is it even possible to have that category of worm without social media or the internet? Guess he'd be a talking head on Fox or something?

neutral milf hotel posted:

np!

please share online especially on twitter

Space Jam posted:

i posted it and people are already accusing me of faking it lol. and yes i posted the receipt.

Inspector Hound posted:

When I was in high school that would probably have convinced me to sign up for the air force

bedpan posted:

here is the other "relevant" excerpt:

Objurium posted:

They're really doing it

https://theintercept.com/2023/08/09/ufo-david-grusch-clearance/

my bony fealty posted:

Ken Klippenstein - is he a fed, or just a retard?

Perry Mason Jar posted:

Yeah I've got depression and PTSD and I've never visited any horrors upon anyone so gently caress him