PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

«‹›1601 »

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

Kazinsal posted:

I would not be surprised if all three of these guys were from bellevue

I believe that's where insane meth addict and former AI superstar 14 INCH DICK used to live

# ? Aug 16, 2023 09:58

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# ? May 26, 2024 19:00

Violen: Jul 25, 2009; ohoho~

Heath posted:

It looks like you haven't covered most of the southwestern mountains or much of the desert. I think you should play more

help

# ? Aug 16, 2023 11:35

Cranappleberry: Jan 27, 2009

Violen posted:

i wake myself with a rat on a stick

lol

# ? Aug 16, 2023 11:37

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

dive into the lake surrounding the rito village. it contains hearty salmon

# ? Aug 16, 2023 13:08

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

Violen posted:

help

Is this Lasagna?

# ? Aug 16, 2023 13:18

Khizan: Jul 30, 2013

rodbeard posted:

Speaking of makeshift bidet, somebody who had my current apartment before me decided to connect a sink sprayer to the toilet. I'm baffled by it because I don't understand how it could have saved any time, money, or effort over an actual bidet.

Probably used it for cleaning cloth diapers or a kid�s potty. I have a relative with something like that installed from when her kids were little.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 13:30

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Oh I thought ltg was putting on a character that's very sad

# ? Aug 16, 2023 14:05

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

Ominous Jazz posted:

Oh I thought ltg was putting on a character that's very sad

ltgs a real piece of poo poo and him coming back into relevancy via irony-watching is very sad to me because he ruined and tried to ruin people's lives

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:06

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

like him trying to doxx a guy for beating him in street fighter is funny but now imagine him doing that to random trans people in the 2010s

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:07

TheMightyBoops: Nov 1, 2016

I�m pretty sure LTG thinks he�s playing a character too.

I always thought it was weird YouTube never banned him, he says like super heinous poo poo all the time.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:10

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

TheMightyBoops posted:

I�m pretty sure LTG thinks he�s playing a character too.

I always thought it was weird YouTube never banned him, he says like super heinous poo poo all the time.

I have very bad news about what youtube allows

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:23

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I don't know who LTG is or what's going on ever and maybe my life is richer for that.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:40

Marcade: Jun 11, 2006; Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?

I got my threads mixed up and confused LTG with LTT (Linus Tech Tips) and had a moment there.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:48

ItohRespectArmy: Sep 11, 2019; Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

linus tech tips is actually doing war crimes now, he just invented a new type of cluster bomb

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:49

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Marcade posted:

I got my threads mixed up and confused LTG with LTT (Linus Tech Tips) and had a moment there.

I just found out they both drop hard Rs so it�s an easy mistake to make

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:49

Babe Magnet: Jun 2, 2008

low tier tech tips

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:02

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Babe Magnet posted:

low tier tech tips

Linus tech god

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:06

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Babe Magnet posted:

low tier tech tips

reformat your hard drive, NOW

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:06

Cranappleberry: Jan 27, 2009

The Right to Repair Your Reputation

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:12

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Spanish Manlove posted:

reformat your hard drive, NOW

Lol

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:49

death cob for cutie: Dec 30, 2006; dwarves won't delve no more
too much splatting down on Zot:4

rodbeard posted:

Speaking of makeshift bidet, somebody who had my current apartment before me decided to connect a sink sprayer to the toilet. I'm baffled by it because I don't understand how it could have saved any time, money, or effort over an actual bidet.

yeah someone did this at the place I bought; definitely not as easy to use as a bidet but it's surprisingly useful for like, cleaning the shower, washing things that don't fit in the sink, etc.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 17:55

The Wicked ZOGA: Jan 27, 2022; Can't post for 4 days!

Gonna wash my dishes in the toolet

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:22

The Wicked ZOGA: Jan 27, 2022; Can't post for 4 days!

One advert that always irritated me was "did you know your kitchen surfaces have more germs than your toilet??" and it's like yeah but which germs. most of them are harmless. which germs, Johnson & Johnson??

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:25

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

One advert that always irritated me was "did you know your kitchen surfaces have more germs than your toilet??" and it's like yeah but which germs. most of them are harmless. which germs, Johnson & Johnson??

There are two germs named Johnson?

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:27

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

an old fyad subhead or thread maybe was "'a poo poo in the toilet? take it out and boil it' - Benjamin Franklin" and thats just been living in my head ever since, say it maybe three times a day, thats my something awful legend.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:27

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

That DICK! posted:

an old fyad subhead or thread maybe was "'a poo poo in the toilet? take it out and boil it' - Benjamin Franklin" and thats just been living in my head ever since, say it maybe three times a day, thats my something awful legend.

Its a good legend

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:27

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Grassy Knowles posted:

There are two germs named Johnson?

At least!

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:32

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Lol

Also he�s 100% permabanned from YouTube and is on double secret probation with Twitch

# ? Aug 16, 2023 18:47

Cranappleberry: Jan 27, 2009

That DICK! posted:

an old fyad subhead or thread maybe was "'a poo poo in the toilet? take it out and boil it' - Benjamin Franklin" and thats just been living in my head ever since, say it maybe three times a day, thats my something awful legend.

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:01

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Cranappleberry posted:

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

This one was funny cause so many goons already smell like boiled piss. I know because of the kid in elementary school who pissed on the radiators every winter.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:04

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Cranappleberry posted:

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

lol

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:10

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Eau de Piss

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:15

ContinuityNewTimes: Dec 30, 2010; Я выдуман напрочь

Frank Frank posted:

Eau de Piss

Eau de toilet was right there

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:20

Buschmaki: Dec 26, 2012; ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿Lean Addict︵‿︵‿︵‿

Cranappleberry posted:

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

lmao

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:20

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Cranappleberry posted:

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

it was actually piss AND cum

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2820525

quote:

UPDATE 1: I'm keeping track of all the people who are trying this (or claim to have tried it) in the lower part of this post. Scroll down to see who has agreed to make the preparation, and their results as they post them.

Introduction

I know you goons have trouble with the ladies sometimes. It's a problem for all of us. Well I have developed a technique that will allow you to attract ladies using the secrets of your own body chemistry - pheromones! I want everyone who has a chance should try this out and post their results. Warning: If you are a girl and you try this the results may be unpleasant or even disastrous. I warned you.

Instructions:

You don't need to spend your parent's hard-earned money to buy sex pheromones anymore! Yes, you can now prepare it right in the privacy of your room at almost no cost in your own time. I used to work at a popular sex pheromones firm and learned the secret while at it for 7 months. Without going into the physiological details of how pheromones are produced naturally by all individuals and how they work, I explain you how to prepare it on your own. Please note, the method is applicable only for the male sex pheromone.

Requirements

1. Test tubes or any other glass container (no metal)
2. Filter paper
3. Early morning fresh urine
4. Enriched semen

Procedure

This is gonna be the hardest part for many of you. You gotta abstain from sex/masturbation in any form for 10-11 days. Don't extend it beyond 12 days though. This is to enrich your semen.

After you have completed enrichment, arouse yourself to an intense degree with the aid of your sex partner or quality porn. Masturbate and collect the enriched semen in a glass container. Now filter the collection into another glass container using a filter paper. It should be done within a minute of ejaculation or the pro-pheromone in the semen will be oxidized. Seal the container tight after you collect the filtrate.

The urine in the early morning (after an adequate sleep) is very different from urine at other times of the day. It contains high levels of urea, which will be used as a catalyst for activating the pro-pheromone. Make sure you have a good night's sleep and collect the urine in the moring.

Now you are all set to begin the actual preparation. Take catalyst (morning urine) and pro-hormone (enriched semen) in the ratio of 10:7 and mix them in a clean glass container. In a few seconds you should start to smell something 'weird' and 'repulsive'. Mind you, it's the MALE pheromone. Unless you are a female or are gay, you won't find it attractive. Transfer the container to the stove and reduce it over LOW HEAT to 10-20% of its original volume. This step is extremely important to concentrate the solution. Once the solution has cooled, close the preparation tight and keep away from light.

Use as much as required and whenever necessary. An one time application of about 1.5 ml of the preparation lasts for about 16 hours. This may seem like a lot of solution, and it works best if you spread it widely over your chest, arms, neck, and armpits. Applying small amounts in the crotch area will help too! Note: This may smell repulsive to you for the first 10-15 minutes of application, but to women or gay men it will not produce this effect.

Speaking from personal experience and various experiments, females go fuckin crazy when they are exposed to the preparation. I have used the home-made pheromone to gently caress incrediblt HOT girls. They lose control and go fuckin crazy like flies jumping into the burning fire at night. Try it, you will be like OMFG!

Expiry: 3 days unless frozen.

Edit 1: Changed 15ml to 1.5ml. Ack!

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:24

Ibram Gaunt: Jul 22, 2009

Boiling cum just makes me think about the burnt cum jar thing and it makes me gag.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:24

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Cranappleberry posted:

there was a fake post in GBS about boiling piss down and using it as a perfume in ordet to attract women and some goons fell for it

women do be loving Phosphorus

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:25

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

pentyne posted:

it was actually piss AND cum

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2820525

lol i knew i didnt imagine goons doing this

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:26

The Wicked ZOGA: Jan 27, 2022; Can't post for 4 days!

Ibram Gaunt posted:

Boiling cum just makes me think about the burnt cum jar thing and it makes me gag.

*daytona usa voice* BOI-LING CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:26

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# ? May 26, 2024 19:00

copy: Jul 26, 2007

lmfao enriched semen

# ? Aug 16, 2023 19:27

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > PYF Something Awful Legends: Page 1562 for the DarkID saga

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