freeedr posted:

What do you do if two Dustin Hoffmanns are chasing you at the same time then smart guy

Grendels Dad posted:

I like that old bit about Vampires that if one chases you, you have to spill some rice on the floor and the vampire is compelled to stop and count every rice corn.

Scratch Monkey posted:

Captain Invictus posted:

One More Fat Nerd posted:

I swear theres some short story or movie or something where the heroes break this out to try and deal with a really old vampire and he just looks down for one second and says "6,480" and resumes chasing them immediately.

Nebrilos posted:

I like the Jojo vampires. They drink blood through their hands.

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Subjunctive posted:

Read a good space-vampire book now: Blindsight

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Lemniscate Blue posted:

zedprime posted:

Vampires aren't real so there's no reason why every vampire can't have straw teeth including the ones that rip your carotid apart entirely.

Except Bunnicula. Bunnicula is real.

Inceltown posted:

If clitorises are for show how come I've never seen one?

freeedr posted:

What do you do if two Dustin Hoffmanns are chasing you at the same time then smart guy

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

This sounds like a bad book that would make a great movie

Railing Kill posted:

My father-in-law has terrible taste in sci fi and told me about a book he just finished reading. It involved an alien invasion of a near-future Earth. Aliens black out the sun somehow and are besieging Earth and starving out the populace. I don't remember why, and it doesn't matter. In the final few chapters, with absolutely no precedent for this whatsoever, a hero emerges in a last-ditch gambit to save Earth from the alien mothership. It is Dracula (and a gaggle of his spawn). Motherfucker flies up through the stratosphere, into space, rips into the ship's hull, and kills the alien leaders in an orgy of violence. No other part of this story had any vampire poo poo or even hints at this kind of fantasy genre material until the last forty pages of a 300+ page novel.

In conclusion, Draculas is a land of contrasts.

Foxfire_ posted:

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

That last panel is some pretty fine av material

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Barometer posted:

TotalLossBrain posted:

Insane sci-fi post reminded me of a paperback I read in a breach rental house over a rainy weekend. Probably 15 years ago now.
It was about a Massachusetts town that has a new problem: a Nazi -created man/shark hybrid that got out of the torpedoed Nazi submarine it was caged on. I don't remember how the ~60 year gap was survived by shark man.
Anyways, literal Nazi landsharkman digging thru trash cans and eating townsfolk

TotalLossBrain posted:

Insane sci-fi post reminded me of a paperback I read in a breach rental house over a rainy weekend. Probably 15 years ago now.
It was about a Massachusetts town that has a new problem: a Nazi -created man/shark hybrid that got out of the torpedoed Nazi submarine it was caged on. I don't remember how the ~60 year gap was survived by shark man.
Anyways, literal Nazi landsharkman digging thru trash cans and eating townsfolk

Lemniscate Blue posted:

White Shark by Peter Benchley, trying and failing to get another crappy shark novel adapted into a multimillion dollar blockbuster.

Zetsubou-san posted:

boofhead posted:

That'd be a rad shirt, I think I found the original (at least one that credits the artist, there's another site that seems to have ripped it off and replaced the brand name in the image) but it's only in women's t shirts unfortunately

In case anybody is interested:

https://www.exlibre.com/products/wicca-wicca

Credited artist is Mike Willcox but I don't see it on his site/shop: https://mikewillcox.bigcartel.com/

quote:

We collaborate with artists to create limited edition garments and objects. Each shirt is stamped with a limited edition mark and built to last.