r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Sorry if I sound like an arsehole, I keep typing completely normal things but when I hit submit my phone auto corrects the whole text to make me look like a deranged narcissist??

# ? Aug 22, 2023 09:58

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:26

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

boofhead posted:

Sorry if I sound like an arsehole, I keep typing completely normal things but when I hit submit my phone auto corrects the whole text to make me look like a deranged narcissist??

Ah, an Iphone user
E: Me, myself and Iphone

# ? Aug 22, 2023 10:01

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

This guy needs to find an unemployed free spirit like himself. Yet another guy whose cool girlfriend is chaining him down

# ? Aug 22, 2023 10:20

JackSplater: Nov 20, 2014; Metal Coat? It's already active?!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

New phone smell toast

For sale: old phone, toast smell

# ? Aug 22, 2023 11:34

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

how dare you have hobbies or plans. i need you to entertain my stupid friends' idiot girlfriends

# ? Aug 22, 2023 12:24

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

workaholism

# ? Aug 22, 2023 12:27

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Nobody should go anywhere. Stay right where you are.

Unironic yes, unless or until we get a better handle on Covid (we will never get a better handle on Covid.)

# ? Aug 22, 2023 12:39

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my sister that the name she chose for her son was not our grandpa's actual name but the nickname he hated?

quote:

My sister wanted to honor our late grandpa in her son's name and chose to call her son Bobby, which is what pretty much everyone called our grandpa. She mentioned the name being so special because it was his beloved great grandpa's name and that it would be so special for our grandpa to have his name live on.

So here's the thing. Bobby was my grandpa's nickname and he HATED it. His actual name was Cyrus, which was grandpa's mom's maiden name. Grandpa was named that by her and after she died and his dad remarried, they started to call him Bobby, because his stepmother's dad was Robert. Grandpa always hated Bobby but after years of people refusing to listen he gave in. He had a handful of friends who called him Cyrus/Cy but that was it.

I told my sister this and she was upset and asked why he hated Bobby, Bobby is so cute. I asked her how she'd feel to be named after her late parent and for his surviving parent and stepparent to then rename you after the stepparents side unofficially, but to the point where it sticks more than your actual name.

She was glad at first but after a few weeks she snapped and told me she doesn't like Cyrus and I ruined the name Bobby for her.

AITA for telling her the truth?

Eta: her baby was not born and is still not born. So I wanted her to know before he was here.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 14:53

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for demanding respect from my DIL and if she can�t then get the gently caress out

quote:

I�m a young MIL, I�m only 39. Had my kids pretty young and I am very lucky that my husband makes a lot of money so I don�t have to work. I was a SAHM for a long time and once they started to spread their wings instead of going to work my husband and I decided I would be a home maker and be active in the community. That�s what I have been up to and I try to make the community a better place.

Now my oldest son 22 married and I was really excited until I met her. In general she is a very business focus person that is very blunt. I actively dislike her but I try to be polite for my sons sake.

A few examples of why I don�t like her, her wedding gift I handed over saying it was from me and my husband. She responded back with just your husband since I know it wasn�t your money that paid for it. Saying I am volunteering well that�s not a real job since it doesn�t make money. It�s passive aggressive and yes I have talked to my son about it and even once�s with her to try to clear the air.

We had a get together last night and i made a homemade meal. When I was playing everything she came up and made the comment other no wonder I could make a home cooked meal I don�t do anything else with my day.

I lost it and told her that she needs to respect me or ge the gently caress out of my house. She was shocked and then started to cry when I did kick her out. My son is pissed and we had a huge argument and he called me a huge rear end in a top hat. I need an outside opinion.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 15:11

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

*mad max 'that's-bait' gif*

# ? Aug 22, 2023 15:14

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

If the only worth you associate with people is their job you're an rear end in a top hat, simple as that.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 15:20

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

I'm not liking the math, so at least the husband is an A here.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 15:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Kurieg posted:

AITA for demanding respect from my DIL and if she can�t then get the gently caress out

A rare case where someone demanding respect actually means it in the "treat me like a person" sense and not the "treat me like an authority" sense, that is actually some insanely rude behavior from the DIL assuming it's not liberally edited.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 15:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Fuckin' liberals

# ? Aug 22, 2023 16:09

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

that can end up with having kids pretty young, yeah

# ? Aug 22, 2023 16:11

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Hellblazer187 posted:

lmao imagine getting to school and then it's like 11 or whatever and you're starting to feel hungry and you go to the cafeteria and open your lunch box and it's just loose meat.

I didn't like bologna and didn't get along w my stepmom at the time for like a year everyday I would either try and trade my lunch away for school pizza or whatever some kid didn't like or was a sucker. If I couldn't trade it, I would drop the sandwich on the floor or spill juice on it, anything to have an excuse to not eat it. Eventually I got caught and they told my parents.

In hindsight I'm glad she gave me bread, without it nobody would've ever traded me for loose meat.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 16:19

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

I was lactose intolerant and the school lunch menu at a 90s elementary was... not advanced. So I ate a lot of rolled up ham slices for lunch.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 16:24

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

When you'd get the milk carton tainted by soap and the lunchladies would let you get one of the upgraded bottle milks instead, thats amore

I didn't know about my lactose intolerance yet, I was in college before I realized that ice cream wasn't meant to be a treat you needed to take the evening and morning off to enjoy

# ? Aug 22, 2023 16:48

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

The entire concept of a school cafeteria is so strange to me, they don't exist where I'm from. Closest we had in my junior high and high school was a canteen that sold chips, pop, and candy. Essentially a person filling in for a vending machine.

We did have a milk program where we'd get a small carton of milk each morning if our parents paid a yearly fee. Mine didn't lol

# ? Aug 22, 2023 17:28

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA for telling an american guy that he should stop calling himself german?

quote:

I'm German and I was traveling last weekend through Spain. I stayed at a hostel at a mixed room and some of the roommates where american. At night we were all mingling and talking about each other and one of the american guys, upon hearing I was German, told me "ohh a fellow German!". At this point I wasn't actually sure if he was american, so I asked in German if he was german. He mumbled a bit and said "haha sorry I'm German but I actually don't speak the language, only a few sentences"

But he kept bringing up about how being german shaped his life, how important german culture was, like he apparently celebrates Oktoberfest every year and so.

I asked why did he say he was german if he was actually american, he said that it was because his great grandfather was german and his grandmother was german-irish...okay, whatever that means, I asked him if he knew where his great grandad was from and surprisingly he did, Hamburg! But this was extra hilarious because then it makes no sense for the guy to celebrate Oktoberfest, as that's a Bavarian thing (ja ja nowadays you can find Oktoberfest in any major german city but its not tradition, only commercial)

I still didn't say anything and we just kept talking. The guy kept making all these remarks about "German culture" and "German food" like "hot dog with Sauerkraut" (???). Me and my friends were then planning to go look for a place to drink and he asked to come with us "so the germans should stick together". We had a few beers at a bar and he ONCE AGAIN brought up something about "being german" and saying he was gonna get the german flag tattoed in Germany, by this point I was already a bit tipsy and annoyed and I told him "can you please stop saying that? You're not german my friend, you're american of german descent, you don't even know about german culture or food, or how to speak, you're really annoying me"

The guy looked pretty angry/annoyed and kind of scoffed and tried to jokingly say "you're right, I rather be american, at least then I can say I didn't lose a world war". At that point me and my friends were rolling our eyes so hard that we just moved to a different place. Later some other guy not related to us told me that the guy was pretty annoyed/sad that I told him he wasn't german because apparently that was a big part of his identity.

Now IDK was I the rear end in a top hat for not letting him live in his delusion?

I like this guy's "oh, a fellow German!" plan immediately falling apart into _{^{"uh....could you speak American, please"}}

# ? Aug 22, 2023 17:51

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Khanstant posted:

I would drop the sandwich on the floor or spill juice on it, anything to have an excuse to not eat it. Eventually I got caught and they told my parents.

Did you feel guilty just throwing it away?

# ? Aug 22, 2023 17:52

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling an american guy that he should stop calling himself german?

I like this guy's "oh, a fellow German!" plan immediately falling apart into _{^{"uh....could you speak American, please"}}

This reminds me of the lady who is claiming to be Irish with a similar list of questionable and stereotypical things that made her Irish, only to be utterly destroyed when a real Irishman said she was a "plastic Paddy".

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:08

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for wanting my best friend to turn down an important job offer?

quote:

Me (M50) and my very platonic best friend we'll call 'A' (M50) have known each other for as long as I can remember and we've always been very close. We worked together at an office building for a long time, but I got fired and joined the rival company. About 4 years ago we quit our jobs and created our own business.

Recently he got a job offer from our old boss and was super excited about it. He said that he wanted to leave behind our business for the old job and he asked me to go with him.

Both of our old bosses and working conditions are not very good, which I why I quit my previous job. (They had asked me back before and I declined.) A does not realize that the boss and job is terrible and claimed that if he went back he could fix everything.

I basically begged him to stay so that we could keep running our business, but he declined. I felt defeated and wished him luck on his new job, but he kept insisting that I go with him to fix our old job.

I have enough self respect to never go back to either of those jobs, so I obviously said no, but I needed to show him what he was leaving behind so I took some 'drastic measures.'

Some words were exchanged and I stormed out, but still waited for him in case he changed his mind. He didn't though and left for the job yesterday.

A's friend told me I was wrong for trying to stop him and declining his offer. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

quote:

EDIT:

The drastic measures I mentioned: I confessed my feelings to him.

quote:

thank you to everyone for the advice. I'd just like to mention that I have never watched the show (Good Omens) that a lot of you are relating to this. My name is Fred and I just came here looking for some advice. Ciao.

r/relationships: My name is Fred and I just came here looking for some advice. Ciao.

ApplesandOranges fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Aug 22, 2023

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:26

Nurglings: May 6, 2016

I told my kids about my wife�s infidelity

quote:

Backstory: Me (27M) and my wife (27F) have known each other since high school. We were always friends, but didn�t show any interest in each other until senior year. Where she asked me to prom, I accepted her invitation and we�ve been together ever since, we got married in 2015 at age 19, and have two daughters, who are 7 and 5.

About a month ago, I found some texts on my wife�s phone while she was in the shower. Where she had been flirting with one of her female coworkers that I knew pretty well, we had met at work functions from time to time. they sent each other explicit pictures and messages, and while I found no evidence of a meet up between them, it was heavily implied that they had done stuff together in the past. the messages started about a year ago, so she�s been cheating on me for over a year now. I sent screenshots of the conversation to my phone, and confronted her when she got out of the shower and she broke down sobbing, apologizing, saying she never meant to hurt me. I was seeing red at this point and decided to leave before I did something drastic. She texted me non-stop begging me to come home and talk, but I wasn�t having any of it, so I stayed at my younger brother�s (24M) place for the night.

In the morning I woke up to hundreds of texts and voicemails from my wife, begging to come home. eventually I did come home, but only because she had to work, and there was no one else to watch my daughters. I told her to be gone by the time I got there, as I didn�t want to speak to her, and when I got home, I sat my daughters down and told them that I was going to be divorcing their mother. They didn�t understand what that was, so I had to explain it to them, and my heart shattered while I was telling them. My five year old started crying, and my seven year old started begging me not to, and started asking me why I was doing this. So I showed them the pictures I took (excluding the ones with pictures) and they started crying even harder. I assured them that their mommy still loves them, but she hurt me very badly, and I can�t be with her anymore. I also told them that I would still see them, and I would do everything I could to make sure of that.

I texted my wife, telling her I wanted a divorce, and she needs to pack her things when she gets home. She fought it at first and begged me not to kick her out, but I wasn�t in the mood for her bullshit. When she got home, my kids started crying and asking her why she did what she did, and she started screaming at me. Telling me that I had no right to tell our kids, and that this matter was between us. I told her that since we�re getting a divorce, they deserve to know why, she left in a hurry and took the kids with her, as far as I know, she�s, at her parent�s house.

My lawyer is in the process of getting the divorce paperwork in order, and I�m ready to fight for the right to see my kids. But they hate my wife right now, and refuse to speak to her, only to their grandparents, who have also stopped acknowledging ing my wife after they learned what she did. I feel I didn�t overreacted, but my mind has been racking, ever since, if anyone has any advice on what to do, please let me know.

Added some paragraphs for ease of reading.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:28

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

Nurglings posted:

I told my kids about my wife�s infidelity

Added some paragraphs for ease of reading.

jesus christ, has that guy ever heard of the concept of "cushioning the blow"? Stretching the truth for kids has been a thing for ages.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:50

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

dervival posted:

jesus christ dude, have you ever heard of the concept of "cushioning the blow"? Stretching the truth for kids has been a thing for ages.

OP sitting the 5 and 7 year old down and helping them sound out the words on the text messages that they can't read on their own.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:51

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

~~some therapist is going to have a loving payday in a decade or two, speaking from experience~~
actually yeah nope getting a bit too close to bad things for me, apologies

# ? Aug 22, 2023 18:53

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

OP: "No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not the victim, reddit. I am the rear end in a top hat. A guy reads his wife's phone and finds out he's been cheated on and you think that I am the victim? No. I am the one who is the rear end in a top hat!"

# ? Aug 22, 2023 19:12

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

well that's one way to have The Talk

# ? Aug 22, 2023 19:17

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

kimbo305 posted:

Did you feel guilty just throwing it away?

Never, it's bologna, nobody should have to eat it and nobody knows why the scientists make it.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 19:41

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Crocobile posted:

Aw this one goes neatly in the subgenre of �girlfriend is too cool for insecure boyfriend�

AITA for throwing a Dino party for my adult boyfriend?

~~Acid vat~~ Tar pits for all of 'em

boofhead posted:

They call me the Tyrannosaurus Sex - big mouth, no hands

Duck-billed Lickalottapus

# ? Aug 22, 2023 19:50

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

~~Acid vat~~ Tar pits for all of 'em

Duck-billed Lickalottapus

gently caress-billed

# ? Aug 22, 2023 19:55

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for refusing to stop calling my daughter a nickname

quote:

I (m33) have a daughter (15). I like many parents have different nicknames for my daughter, one being Princess. I have called my daughter Princess since she was a baby and still call her that even as a teenager.

My sister (f35) has a 3 month old daughter. She was over at my apartment yesterday and said she needed to ask me something. She said she would like for me to stop calling my daughter Princess because she and her husband want to call their daughter Princess. I asked why they can't both have the nickname, she said it would be awkward if we were somewhere together and both girls got referred to as Princess. I said I'm not going to stop calling my daughter a nickname I've always called her unless my daughter herself wants me to stop.

My sister said my daughter is too old for the nickname Princess anyway and I have several other nicknames for her so it shouldn't Matter. I'm just choosing to gatekeep and Be an AH, which I'm not stopping my sister from using it I'm just refusing to stop calling my daughter that nickname. My mom took my sister's side agreeing that my daughter is too old for the nickname.

Give me your beloved childhood nickname

# ? Aug 22, 2023 20:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Duchess is available

# ? Aug 22, 2023 20:40

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Kurieg posted:

AITA for refusing to stop calling my daughter a nickname

Give me your beloved childhood nickname

I say go all in and begin a bloody, generations-long feud over who truly holds the title.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 20:49

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Duchess is available

Come on parent like that? Has to go Empress.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 21:02

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Yas Queening your baby

# ? Aug 22, 2023 21:30

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

AITA (m32) for cutting my parents out of my life since I never got a dino party

# ? Aug 22, 2023 21:35

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

If game of thrones taught us nothing, it was how to deal with pretenders to the throne.

AITA for not respecting my husband�s culture?

quote:

My husband is Indian and I�m white. We live in a house provided by MY grandparents. He has his citizenship because of me. His parents came to visit and it�s been an issue that I�m not a dutiful daughter in law while they are guests in my home.

For some reason they think after I work a whole week I should come home and cater to them because that�s what I should do. My husband is currently laid off work on unemployment and I�m not. It finally came to a head last night over dinner and he asked me if I just could respect his parents and show them I�m trying to impress them.

We got in a huge argument and I said I could always divorce his son and tell the courts he�s using me for citizenship because that�s how I feel and it�s time they go back to India and this vacation is over. My husband argued with me about it and I told him to try me because he is unemployed and we have only been married under two years. I have no desire to be bullied by his parents and wait on them while they are vacationing with me. I was told I was disrespectful and they have no extra money to get another lodging right now. I�m this close to divorce because the last two weeks that they have visited have been hell and I�m stressed. Up until this point we had a great marriage but his parents are making me rethink everything.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 21:38

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:26

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for refusing to stop calling my daughter by her nickname

quote:

I (m37) have a daughter (13) who I call Goose. She was born at 27 weeks and only weight 2 pounds. While she was in the NICU I decided she needed a fighter pilot name (top gun is one of my favorite movies) so I started calling her Maverick and Goose to see which one stuck. Goose stuck so I've been calling her that ever since. I rarely ever call her by her first name really only to introduce her to people or if I'm talking about her.

I have been dating my gf (35) for about 10 months now. She's great she and my daughter get along well. A couple of months ago I met her family. For some reason they don't like nicknames example: Christopher they wouldn't call them Chris for short just Christopher. Well because it's second nature I was calling my daughter goose around them, they called it Cute but I could tell they were just trying to be nice.

Well, the Gf family always goes to the Lake for a week around the 4th of July and invited my daughter and me to go with them. Well, last night I got a call from Gf telling me that If I go to the lake with her family I have to call my daughter by her first name. I asked why she said when I call my daughter's goose it makes them uncomfortable and that if I don't call her by her first name we can't go. I laughed and said I should be able to call her by the nickname I have for her.

She said I should be able to call my daughter by her first name for a week I'm just choosing to be an AH.

# ? Aug 22, 2023 21:51

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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