r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

My experience is universal and I won�t be hearing otherwise.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 02:32

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITB for asking her why she won�t sleep with me?

quote:

I�ve been in love with this girl, Gen, for as long as I remember. We were childhood friends and hung out often, and I even went to the same college as her because I liked her that much.

It was painful watching her date everyone under the sun. She�s a really open person, sexually, and she likes hookups. She said she wasn�t interested in a relationship, she just wanted to explore her sexuality and have fun sex without any strings attached.

In her freshmen year, all her roommates had boyfriends and would still bring boys over and cheat on them. Let�s be real their partners were probably cheating on them too, but Gen never got that, and she was never okay with that. She said it was just better to be single and sleep with who you want to over cheating on someone, which she�s absolutely right.

I was totally fine with her exploring her sexuality and sleeping with people and having fun. I went to parties and I watched her do it, but I wasn�t a possessive guy. I always figured one day we would be together, but she should get to play the field until we do.

She ended up going through a depressive slump in sophomore year, which I helped her through. I was her best friend and I loved her so much, and I couldn�t hold it in anymore. I told her I loved her and wanted to be with her and she didn�t want to hear it. I told it to her again and again and finally she said �Why me? We are so good as friends.� I said I loved her, she said she loved me to, but platonically. She never had feelings for me, and she thought as seeing each other as family went both ways. It totally broke my heart. I begged her to please love me, but she said she can�t.

I took a couple of weeks to think about it and then I accepted it. It made me feel better that she wasn�t planning on getting married, at all, but that quickly changed. She got her first serious boyfriend, and they are crazy about each other. Attached at the hip, crazy about each other, at least he treats her well from what she told me.

The other day we were talking and I had to ask why she never slept with me. She slept with a lot of people during her hookup days in HS and college, but never looked my way. She said �You can�t casually hook up with your best friend, can you? You only do that if you are down for a relationship.� I said, �oh, so if we weren�t childhood best friends you would sleep with me?� She says maybe, and I said god I wish. She immediately gets mad. She�s like �you�d really sleep with me once over being bffs for 12 years? what is wrong with you?� I tried to defend myself but she didn�t want to hear it. Was I wrong?

I can�t deny that I would really like to sleep with her. She is drop dead gorgeous. The most beautiful person to ever exist, and really funny and smart too. She left so many broken hearts when she wouldn�t commit in the past. So many of them call her the one that got away. I wasn�t trying to pressure her into sleeping with me by asking that question, I was just curious for the answer. It does hurt my ego that she was willing to sleep with all these men and women for fun, but not me.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she�s overreacting?

quote:

I (25M) and my girlfriend Allie (21F) have been together for a little over a year. I love her to death but she has these little habits that drive me insane. We just moved in together at the start of Aug

First off, she doesn�t really like to cook. I love to cook so I do it more often than she does. Because of this I decided the dishes are her job, it�s only fair that if I cook dinner for both of us a few times a week, I don�t do any dishes. Plus I work

We both work 12 hour shifts, mine are night shifts and hers are both. She�s been off a few weeks because she got a concussion. So while I work my 3 shifts a week, she stays home. We had a fight the other day because I found out she made food for herself while I was working, and didn�t tell me there was leftovers so I didn�t know I could eat it when I got home the next morning. She also ate a chicken burger two days in a row while I was gone, I said it was excessive and that she shouldn�t eat the same thing that often. She claims it was because she can�t be up for long with her concussion, and they�re easy

She snacks on random things. She won�t just eat crackers, she�ll eat cereal out of the box. She bought a box of fruit loops a week ago, today I saw her eating them dry and most of the bag was already gone. I took them out of her hands and put it away. She was mad but I told her cereal is expensive and she shouldn�t just eat it like that. She does the same thing when she buys frozen fruit, I took that away from her too a couple times because she�d eat it multiple days in a row

I work 3 nights in a row a week, then I have 4 days off. I keep my schedule the rest of the week, because it�s easier. I sleep around 7am most days and wake at 5pm. When I get up, I ask Allie to help me unpack my boxes and she never wants to. She claims it�s because she�s been up all day but I think she doesn�t want to unpack my stuff. Since her heads been improving she�s been unpacking more of her boxes, but it�s a waste of time. She takes out books when my kitchen stuff is boxed. We don�t need books out, and she puts her stuff places without checking if I�m okay with it. Yesterday she said she was going to go to the store, I told her to stay home because we needed to unpack my stuff. We started unpacking a box but she got a headache and stopped

I haven�t been able to get most of my stuff unpacked since we moved in, because she�s been concussed the whole time and can�t help me. I�ve been waiting for her but she�s upset with me that I haven�t unpacked anything myself, because apparently that�s what I �should have been doing.�

She got mad at me and said I�m controlling since we moved in. I said she�s overreacting; I�m just trying to make sure she eats right and we each do half. She also got mad at me for my sleep schedule, because it�s �hard� being the one watching our 2 dogs all day. I feel like she�s overreacting.

AITA?

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:12

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Evil Willow posted:

AITB for asking her why she won�t sleep with me?

lol there are so many copies of this exact dude just walking around out there

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend she�s overreacting?

cleaning as you go is part of cooking. i bet this guy leaves an unholy mess behind

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:17

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Two chicken burgers in two days? :monocle:

Eating cereal out of the box? :2monocle:

This guy better not ever move in with an autistic woman, he'll have an aneurysm within a week.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:22

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Evil Willow posted:

AITB for asking her why she won�t sleep with me?

Don�t worry, I wasn�t possessive of this person with whom I wasn�t in a relationship.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:24

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Evil Willow posted:

AITB for asking her why she won�t sleep with me?

there's so much desperation dripping from this post that i think i'm going to have to clean my monitor

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend she�s overreacting?

quote:

I decided the dishes are her job
She also ate a chicken burger two days in a row while I was gone, I said it was excessive and that she shouldn�t eat the same thing that often
I saw her eating them dry and most of the bag was already gone. I took them out of her hands and put it away.
She does the same thing when she buys frozen fruit, I took that away from her too a couple times
Yesterday she said she was going to go to the store, I told her to stay home because we needed to unpack my stuff.

can't imagine why she says you're controlling, dude

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:25

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I�m trying to think of a situation where it�s appropriate to physically take food out of your partner�s hand while they�re eating it. I guess if it was poisoned.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:28

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I’m trying to think of a situation where it’s appropriate to physically take food out of your partner’s hand while they’re eating it. I guess if it was poisoned.

It was the last piece of naan

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:30

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

In that case I�m taking their hand, too.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:34

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Biplane posted:

It was the last piece of naan

if it's the last piece of naan you don't take it out of their hands, you take it off their corpse

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:44

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Very fair

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:48

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

oh gross, friendzone tries to defend himself in the comments:

quote:

You are asking if you were wrong to tell her that loving her would have been more important to you than over a decade of friendship.

There is so much wrong with this entire post, starting with you following her to college and then pretty much all of it after that ending with you being hurt she wasn't willing to sleep with you. This reads like every single typical "nice guy" trope that makes it clear you believe if you put enough nice tokens in that sex pops out. She NEVER gave you any indication she was interested in you beyond friendship. You were, and are, clearly unhealthily obsessed with her.

You are now left with a ruined friendship and still no sex. Please stop being like this, for the sake of humanity and for the sake of your own mental health.

OP posted:

Can you at least try to imagine it from my side? If there was someone you thought was beautiful, hot, sexy, and funny, adorable, amazing, and you got the opportunity to sleep with them, you would be saying yes no matter the consequences. She was my biggest crush. I didn�t think it through, but anyone would have reacted the same way as me.

I�m also not a nice guy. I followed to to college because she was my closest friend and I love her. I was also hoping for a romantic relationship, but that�s not the only reason I followed her. I�m not some obsessed weirdo. We are very close, and love each other a lot. I thought we would be good together because I knew I would treat her amazingly, and I couldn�t understand why she didn�t have feelings for me. I might have thought it would happen eventually, but no one could blame me. We just seemed like we�d be perfect together.

you know, i really don't think anyone would have reacted the same way

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:54

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Yes, we can blame you. In fact, this is me, blaming you.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 09:58

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

As they say, the only thing worse than the frienzone is being led on for years by some dishonest amd manipulative shitbag you thought was a genuine friend only to find out he was merely biding his time for his turn to have sex with you.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 10:07

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

could you imagine how pathetic it would be to actually sleep with someone like that? like, there's no way you could ever respect them again. even if homeboy had somehow got his 30 seconds in the sun, it wouldn't have turned out well for him

# ? Aug 24, 2023 10:16

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

death to nice guys

# ? Aug 24, 2023 10:21

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I was gonna say he needs to watch the Barbie movie, but I realized there's no way someone like him would get the message

# ? Aug 24, 2023 10:39

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Foo Diddley posted:

oh gross, friendzone tries to defend himself in the comments:

you know, i really don't think anyone would have reacted the same way

He doesn't even understand what he was saying. "and you got the opportunity to sleep with them", there was no opportunity because she's not into him and she thought they were friends while he thought since she had slept with other people she could just as well sleep with him.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 11:53

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

He doesn't understand she has tastes and desires all her own, he pictures her more like an energiser bunny who fucks - so if you happen to be in her orbit when she is in the mood for loving then she will land on you

I hope she blocks him on everything and never speaks to him again

# ? Aug 24, 2023 11:58

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Evil Willow posted:

AITB for asking her why she won�t sleep with me?

AITA for telling my girlfriend she�s overreacting?

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:03

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

On the plus side, the comments taught me the term "fuckzoned" to counter friendzoned. I'll get mileage outta that one.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:11

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for demanding that my neighbour pay for new furniture and a washing machine?

Why....why would you keep abestos snow in your house at all?

Asbestos removal is expensive and a pain in the butt, if it's contained (or appears to be) and you don't know that much about it I can see why you'd not get around to dealing with it. You'd have to consult with an actual expert but if there's genuinely asbestos fibres been being spread about the house for five years, it's gonna be in loving everything and it should all be stripped out. I hope they've got really solid home insurance that covers acts of shithead children, because that's gonna be loving expensive but you can't really sell a house full of asbestos and you don't want to keep living in it, so...

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:21

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Mx. posted:

death to nice guys

The monkeys paw curls into an extended middle finger: now they are each and all kin to the hymen checker.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:45

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

The what

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:47

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

The thing I don't get about the nice guy is that it's demonstrably easier to land a one night stand, hook up or what have you than develop a 12-year friendship. I'd be doing everything I could not to blow that up. I've never really been obsessed like that though.... Sounds like a hell of a drug.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:50

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

DeeplyConcerned posted:

The thing I don't get about the nice guy is that it's demonstrably easier to land a one night stand, hook up or what have you than develop a 12-year friendship. I'd be doing everything I could not to blow that up. I've never really been obsessed like that though.... Sounds like a hell of a drug.

they were never friends. she thought he was a friend, he was just waiting for his turn

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:53

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Biplane posted:

The what

Ask and you shall receive :tipshat:

pentyne posted:

My (22f) fiance (25m) want his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married.

quote:
My fiance proposed to me about 8 months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love.

I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed so I agreed to saving it. He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No turns out he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure'.

I told him fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic tbh.

I want to call off the whole wedding because of this and never talk to him again. But at the same time its only one thing and other then that we are genuinely perfect for each other and I dont want to spend my life with anyone else and it is very important to him and his family.

What the frick frack do I do. I am currently at my friends house and I might stay here for the night. tomorrow would be our last day as an unmarried couple and I am straight up panicking.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 12:57

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

What in the world noooooo

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:04

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure'.

It's going to really hurt these guys feelings when their 'blood line' dies out and I'm really glad for it

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:05

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

Biplane posted:

The what

The Hymen Checker is now officially the name of my grindcore band, thanks folks.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:09

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

All right I've got to stop reading this thread before breakfast

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:14

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

DeeplyConcerned posted:

The thing I don't get about the nice guy is that it's demonstrably easier to land a one night stand, hook up or what have you than develop a 12-year friendship. I'd be doing everything I could not to blow that up. I've never really been obsessed like that though.... Sounds like a hell of a drug.

Sunk cost fallacy, you think if you hang in there long enough you'll get what you 'earned' with all your friendship points.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:26

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

ApplesandOranges posted:

Sunk cost fallacy, you think if you hang in there long enough you'll get what you 'earned' with all your friendship points.

Or a punch card. After sitting and comforting her through 9 breakups, the tenth sex is yours!

Oh hymen poo poo. I remember as a kid getting sex Ed and being told about the hymen, and that was very upset to learn that dudes didn't have a way to proof virginity. My thought was that a freckle of another skin color should appear on their dick, so it's a very least you could count over how many partners they had. Keep in mind masturbation had never been discussed.

In other creepy news, I remember once playing with a pok�mon Go guy, and after I reread his trainer name, I decided never to raid or hang around with him again. He looked pretty much like what you would expect. His game trainer name was HiManLover.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:38

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

hey, is this the line for the fuckzone? just checking before i set up my tent

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:39

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Catching up to this thread because I busy writing a Python script to find the optimal type of bread for an Indian meal.

Can't get it to work, the only output I get is NaN.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 13:49

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

DeeplyConcerned posted:

The thing I don't get about the nice guy is that it's demonstrably easier to land a one night stand, hook up or what have you than develop a 12-year friendship. I'd be doing everything I could not to blow that up. I've never really been obsessed like that though.... Sounds like a hell of a drug.

i wish we could beam this post into the brains of everyone who's ever unironically posted on an incel forum

# ? Aug 24, 2023 14:00

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

blatman posted:

i wish we could beam this post into the brains of everyone who's ever unironically posted on an incel forum

I wish we could beam a boot into their rear end instead

# ? Aug 24, 2023 14:10

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

PancakeTransmission posted:

Well yes obviously, but I meant as compared to someone who is hanging with 17 year Olds while being 19. I dunno about you folks but when I was in high school, it was very rare for people to have friends in other grades as you'd never really interact with them outside of lunch.

Most extracurriculars force the grades together. Band, orchestra, choir, sports teams, any clubs, and so on all have kids interacting with other grade levels on the regular and thus forming cliques outside their grade level.

It's pretty obvious they weren't OPs friends no matter how much he thought it, though.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 14:17

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

I was gonna say he needs to watch the Barbie movie, but I realized there's no way someone like him would get the message

No, he might reach a sense of peace within himself and bring a new attitude of serene self-confidence to his manipulative shitbaggery

# ? Aug 24, 2023 14:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 02:32

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Pirate Radar posted:

No, he might reach a sense of peace within himself and bring a new attitude of serene self-confidence to his manipulative shitbaggery

over-identifying with Ryan Gosling and sadly singing "I'm just Ken" to himself over and over

# ? Aug 24, 2023 14:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »