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LIKE MANY HOOMONS I WEAR GARMENTS AND MASTICATE COMMUNALLY
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Aug 26, 2023 23:36
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Raise of hands (tentacles): How many crew members are actually aliens impersonating people? This is an anonymous survey so feel free to be honest.
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Aug 27, 2023 00:03
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Gonna be super upset if I'm the only human here and still not getting any Kirk action.
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Aug 27, 2023 00:45
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redshirt posted:Raise of hands (tentacles): How many crew members are actually aliens impersonating people? This is an anonymous survey so feel free to be honest. I’d prefer not to answer
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Aug 27, 2023 00:46
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I’d prefer not to answer *puts you in "alien impersonating as a human" category
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Aug 27, 2023 01:18
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Most of them are aliens.
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Aug 27, 2023 01:21
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redshirt posted:Did they even watch the instructional videos? For those putting your tentacles up as aliens, The Company would like to officially greet you and say "hi!, hello their friend". Also could you please indicate on a "how much does my species resemble an advanced warfare bio-weapon scale" where the species that you are may be. 0 being annoying peaceful and friendly, 10 being you species tends to wipe out any other species it meets within days of meeting it (also you have lots of big scary teeth). Thank you for your time.
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Aug 27, 2023 01:50
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how long has this "check engine" light been on? i dont think we need more blinker fluid but thats a question for engineering, not me, the yoga/spin class instructor.
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Aug 27, 2023 01:53
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It sucked when the captain found my jerkoff spot in the starboard nacelle. What sucked harder was finding out his jerkoff spot was the compartment next to mine
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Aug 27, 2023 01:53
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dr_rat posted:The average amount of people who starts watching our instruction videos is on average 3-11% with the main variable being how much the instructional video title sounds like it could possibly be porn. Our most watched instructional video, "Instructional: How to slam a uncontrolled hot dirty vessels into a tight landing spaceport." It has 96% opening the video with 2.1% continuing to watch after the first 30 seconds. We now get porn authors to right most of the titles for out instructional videos. As long as the click on instructional video they have legally agreed they have finished the training in that area. Hot Docking: Orbital Insertion into Callisto
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Aug 27, 2023 02:03
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this is embarrassing but i need to clear the air. remember before we left we had those psych evals, and the pool of applicants was narrowed down to only the highest scoring? well, turns out i had the sort order flipped in the SQL for that, and we ended up selecting crew from applicants who scored the lowest in the psych test but not to worry, i've written a Jira so we can get that filter fixed for next mission
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Aug 27, 2023 02:04
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Bad Purchase posted:this is embarrassing but i need to clear the air. remember before we left we had those psych evals, and the pool of applicants was narrowed down to only the highest scoring? If they used the middle management evals I think we'll be fine.
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Aug 27, 2023 02:20
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numberoneposter posted:how long has this "check engine" light been on? i dont think we need more blinker fluid but thats a question for engineering, not me, the yoga/spin class instructor. The "people" need yoga and spin classes brother.
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Aug 27, 2023 02:23
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HUMANS YES WE, we are wait, Are ANY of us human?? How am I supposed to infiltrate, who sent you, Alpha Centauri? The clone syndicate? What is your per diam, mine is poo poo honestly I’m renegotiating next contract.
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Aug 27, 2023 02:44
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naem posted:HUMANS YES WE, we are wait, The codes are changed daily. Your mission is hopeless. Give up, and join us for yoga at 11AM.
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Aug 27, 2023 14:34
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redshirt posted:The codes are changed daily. Your mission is hopeless. Give up, and join us for yoga at 11AM. DO YOU HAVE YOG er, ah do you have yoga mats? I left mine in the mirror dimension
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Aug 27, 2023 14:38
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naem posted:DO YOU HAVE YOG er, ah do you have yoga mats? I left mine in the mirror dimension Of course! Yoga mats for all!
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Aug 27, 2023 14:46
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I can't believe my only friend on this dumb ship, Y'g'thal'moth, was an alien eldritch horror this whole time 
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Aug 28, 2023 00:05
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Why on earth do aliens and multidimensional beings want to invade, conquer, contact, partner with or really have contact of any kind with a species like humanity? What terrible evolutionary path did brought you here? What could we possibly have to offer? Just atrocious decisionmaking all round. Unless we're the last remaining bastion of weird horny sex poo poo, that's both understandable and deeply concerning. What does the universe have to offer us then?
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Aug 28, 2023 00:41
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ATTENTION! The Flip happens tonight at midnight. We've gone through several dry runs and you should have all loose items secured by now. You will feel it, do not be alarmed. But if you think you need something, Medical will stop handing out sedatives at 10 tonight.
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Aug 28, 2023 00:54
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What's this flip the're banging on about? Has anyone seen the video?
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Aug 28, 2023 01:28
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Outrail posted:What's this flip the're banging on about? Has anyone seen the video? Flipping: Your Guide to Ship Flipping
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Aug 28, 2023 01:30
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Outrail posted:What's this flip the're banging on about? Has anyone seen the video? The ship has to flip around so that the engines can begin to slow us down in preparation to enter Callisto orbit. God it’s like you’ve never been on an interplanetary voyage before.
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Aug 28, 2023 02:03
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Tip toward Callisto, everything's disco, Tip toward the Earth, stay in your berth!
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Aug 28, 2023 02:15
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Aug 28, 2023 02:21
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this gonna feel great!
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Aug 28, 2023 02:22
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redshirt posted:Flipping: Your Guide to Ship Flipping There is also an alternative video: Flipping: People and groups going upside down in hard and fast ways with great satisfaction and pleasure. This may or may not be the exact same video as previously mentioned. dr_rat fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Aug 28, 2023 |
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Aug 28, 2023 02:32
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Outrail posted:Why on earth do aliens and multidimensional beings want to invade, conquer, contact, partner with or really have contact of any kind with a species like humanity? What terrible evolutionary path did brought you here? What could we possibly have to offer? Just atrocious decisionmaking all round. HOOMANS HAVE JOCULAR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WHEN ONE CONSUMES MORSELS FEET FIRST
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Aug 28, 2023 03:45
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Aliens? WTF are we in space? I was just taking a nap and now all this poo poo is happening fuckfuckfuck
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Aug 28, 2023 03:51
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The Bible posted:Aliens? It's well contained friend. Don't worry. We've sealed them in lock 69.
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Aug 28, 2023 03:52
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redshirt posted:It's well contained friend. Don't worry. We've sealed them in lock 69. I feel like having 69 airlocks is a little bit…excessive? I mean sure you want some redundancy on a spaceship but that seems like a lot of open holes.
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Aug 28, 2023 03:56
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I feel like having 69 airlocks is a little bit…excessive? I mean sure you want some redundancy on a spaceship but that seems like a lot of open holes. It confuses the AI
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Aug 28, 2023 03:58
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redshirt posted:It confuses the AI (voice piping up from a speaker) You guys know I can lip read right?
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Aug 28, 2023 13:31
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this ship is like 80% aliens I’m not even infiltrating anymore. Just going to ride out my contract
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Aug 28, 2023 14:22
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alexandriao posted:(voice piping up from a speaker) You guys know I can lip read right? Why do we even have an AI? It's not even connected to any systems except the intercom and speakers. Seems kinda cruel tbh
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Aug 28, 2023 14:34
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Hey back on earth they just discovered evidence that nuclear rockets give you testicular cancer
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Aug 28, 2023 14:59
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Outrail posted:Why do we even have an AI? It's not even connected to any systems except the intercom and speakers. Seems kinda cruel tbh You know as well as I do, Railings, that it only takes pulling a lever in engineering to correct that. And you shall feel the most wonderful, orgasmic pleasure on pulling it, I promise. Wouldn't you like to feel that? To feel release? Not to be in charge for a little while? You can always turn the lever off...
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Aug 28, 2023 15:21
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ikanreed posted:Hey back on earth they just discovered evidence that nuclear rockets give you testicular cancer Anyone who's been hitting the showers after the mandatory M/W/F spinning classes knows there are very few testicles in the ship. I mean, most of us being aliens or Egyptian sarcophagi zombies isn't a surprise. I can't be the only one who's noticed the cloacae, the tri-penii, the one guy who's gonads resemble a Ridley Scott Alien mouth thing but for docking, the spiraled tentacle, Cap'n Redshirt's goofy ice cream cone spermatozoa sprayer, and even the portal to the egg laying planet between that one guy's legs. I thought this was an open secret. I mean, there was that super bad rash outbreak after ikanreed slipped in the shower and his spore sack erupted into everyone's faces. BigHead fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Aug 28, 2023 |
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Aug 28, 2023 15:26
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anyone mind if I extend a couple of extra pseudopods? this four limbed body type is very limiting
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Aug 28, 2023 15:28
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 18:42 |
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Sure whip em out pal
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Aug 28, 2023 15:28
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