Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Cyrano4747 posted:

In what loving world do they think the Fed backstops defaulting debts?

Did they just miss the whole thing with Enron going tits up and all those pensioners getting hosed? To name only one example of thousands that you could grab just about at random of companies that went bankrupt and that was just that?

This is the Federal Reserve of fever swamp imagining.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 19:35

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:39

Strong Sauce: Jul 2, 2003; You know I am not really your father.

apparently overstock.com bought the IP to BBY so if you go to overstock.com it redirects to bedbathandbeyond.com. I don't know if this is permanent or a promo kinda thing but im guessing all those BBBY people are going crazy with new conspiracy theories over it..

edit: i know overstock bought the ip a while back but they just updated the url recently? or am i late to that party

# ? Aug 31, 2023 19:36

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

There is a subset of them who cannot undestand that Overstock has absolutely nothing to do with their worthless stock.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 19:37

mega dy: Dec 6, 2003

Strong Sauce posted:

apparently overstock.com bought the IP to BBY so if you go to overstock.com it redirects to bedbathandbeyond.com. I don't know if this is permanent or a promo kinda thing but im guessing all those BBBY people are going crazy with new conspiracy theories over it..

edit: i know overstock bought the ip a while back but they just updated the url recently? or am i late to that party

you are so, so late to the party and there is so much more for you to discover

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:02

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Boxturret posted:

At least bitcoiners delude themselves in to thinking that their coin of choice will just supplant the current financial system and they'll get all the money.

You gotta read up on the extended lore, my friend.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:02

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:03

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012; Get bashed, platonist!

Some apes believe in the �infinity pool� theory which goes thusly: because there are soooo many fake shares of xyz stock floating around because of naked shorting, it would be possible for a relatively small group of people to acquire all of the real shares, ensuring they are real using some method. ¹ Once we, the apes, have collectively acquired a number of real shares equal to the number of outstanding shares, we just need to hodl until something triggers the short squeeze. ² At that point shorts will need to buy real shares to cover, but they won�t be able to because we have all of them, and we refuse to sell. ³ Therefore the offer price (and therefore the value of our shares) just goes up and up and up infinitely. Once our shares have effectively infinite value, we won�t need to sell them. We can use them as collateral for loans which we will invest smartly (because we are genius investors) to make huge profits, allowing us to make generation wealth from shares we don�t even have to sell!

¹_{This basically always involves DRS but there can also be any number of steps that are required on top of DRSing, such as making sure you have a whole number of shares.}

² _{Theories about what the squeeze catalyst will be vary wildly and change upon being disproven but invariably involve Ryan Cohen. Example: Ryan Cohen does a reverse merger to fuse GME and BBBY into TEDDY to force shorts to close.}

³ _{We apes are a super tight-knit group and there is no way that any of us would ever sell a share to make huge money instantly at the expense of the other apes. However, we are also individual investors who are definitely not blatantly conspiring to cause a short squeeze, because that would be a crime.}

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:07

Strong Sauce: Jul 2, 2003; You know I am not really your father.

mega dy posted:

you are so, so late to the party and there is so much more for you to discover

lol quit being so dramatic...

they changed the site at the beginning of august.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:13

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Ariong posted:

Some apes believe in the �infinity pool� theory which goes thusly: because there are soooo many fake shares of xyz stock floating around because of naked shorting, it would be possible for a relatively small group of people to acquire all of the real shares, ensuring they are real using some method. ¹ Once we, the apes, have collectively acquired a number of real shares equal to the number of outstanding shares, we just need to hodl until something triggers the short squeeze. ² At that point shorts will need to buy real shares to cover, but they won�t be able to because we have all of them, and we refuse to sell. ³ Therefore the offer price (and therefore the value of our shares) just goes up and up and up infinitely. Once our shares have effectively infinite value, we won�t need to sell them. We can use them as collateral for loans which we will invest smartly (because we are genius investors) to make huge profits, allowing us to make generation wealth from shares we don�t even have to sell!

¹_{This basically always involves DRS but there can also be any number of steps that are required on top of DRSing, such as making sure you have a whole number of shares.}

² _{Theories about what the squeeze catalyst will be vary wildly and change upon being disproven but invariably involve Ryan Cohen. Example: Ryan Cohen does a reverse merger to fuse GME and BBBY into TEDDY to force shorts to close.}

³ _{We apes are a super tight-knit group and there is no way that any of us would ever sell a share to make huge money instantly at the expense of the other apes. However, we are also individual investors who are definitely not blatantly conspiring to cause a short squeeze, because that would be a crime.}

Hmm. Is there still time to get in on this?

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:17

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012; Get bashed, platonist!

Thesaurus posted:

Hmm. Is there still time to get in on this?

Unfortunately, because apes are such a committed and steadfast bunch, nobody is selling. Therefore it is impossible to purchase Gamestock or The Company Formerly Known as Bed Bath and Beyond stock right now.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:19

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

whats a DRS ?

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:23

Strong Sauce: Jul 2, 2003; You know I am not really your father.

PhazonLink posted:

whats a DRS ?

nothing what�s D R S with you?

(Directly Registered Shares. There�s some process to officially register your stock shares and these people think if you do that they can�t pull the shares out from under you. You know the worthless shares of BBBY)

I know what DRS is because Dan Olsen had to go back and rework his video because there were too many of these acronyms and people didn�t follow it either.

Edit oh yeah they think there are fake stocks floating around being used to short the stock

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:26

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Ariong posted:

Unfortunately, because apes are such a committed and steadfast bunch, nobody is selling. Therefore it is impossible to purchase Gamestock or The Company Formerly Known as Bed Bath and Beyond stock right now.

Looks like I'll have to settle for that "safe moon" coin mentioned on the other page. I'm intrigued by the prospect of moon-like gains, but if course I want my investments to be safe!

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:29

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Trying to look into SAFEMOON. found these simple instructions for how to aquire it... So simple!

quote:

To buy SafeMoon, cryptocurrency users have to buy a Binance Coin (BNB) first, and then essentially swap it for SafeMoon.

First, users must set up a crypto wallet in which their coins can be kept. For SafeMoon, either Trust or Metamask are the two wallets the organization says should be used.

SafeMoon states: "Set up your wallet to work on the Binance Chain Network. Buy BNB on your Binance account.

"Withdraw BNB to your wallet address and be sure to select the BSC Network (BEP20). Visit pancake swap. Connect your wallet to pancake swap. Before you swap please ensure you click the gear icon and set slippage to 11%. Press swap. Confirm the transaction on your wallet and hold!"

"The mechanism by which SafeMoon rewards participants involves issuing a 10 percent penalty tax fee on sellers and redistributing five percent of this to people who already own the currency."

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:42

Zopotantor: Feb 24, 2013; ...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Thesaurus posted:

Trying to look into SAFEMOON. found these simple instructions for how to aquire it... So simple!

"The mechanism by which SafeMoon rewards participants involves issuing a 10 percent penalty tax fee on sellers and redistributing five percent of this to people who already own the currency."

Let me guess: what is being distributed is 5% of the 10% (and not half, as might na�vely be assumed).

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:46

mega dy: Dec 6, 2003

Strong Sauce posted:

lol quit being so dramatic...

they changed the site at the beginning of august.

The increase in bbby insanity is exponential though.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:53

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Thesaurus posted:

Trying to look into SAFEMOON. found these simple instructions for how to aquire it... So simple!

"The mechanism by which SafeMoon rewards participants involves issuing a 10 percent penalty tax fee on sellers and redistributing five percent of this to people who already own the currency."

What happens if I don't click the gear and set slippage to 11%?

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:55

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

zedprime posted:

What happens if I don't click the gear and set slippage to 11%?

you get seriously dong-razzled and all your money is "away from you"

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:58

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Strong Sauce posted:

nothing what�s D R S with you?

(Directly Registered Shares. There�s some process to officially register your stock shares and these people think if you do that they can�t pull the shares out from under you. You know the worthless shares of BBBY)

I know what DRS is because Dan Olsen had to go back and rework his video because there were too many of these acronyms and people didn�t follow it either.

Edit oh yeah they think there are fake stocks floating around being used to short the stock

don't forget anytime the price goes down it's because of the algos

# ? Aug 31, 2023 20:58

ponzicar: Mar 17, 2008

Thesaurus posted:

Trying to look into SAFEMOON. found these simple instructions for how to aquire it... So simple!

"The mechanism by which SafeMoon rewards participants involves issuing a 10 percent penalty tax fee on sellers and redistributing five percent of this to people who already own the currency."

pancakeswap dot avi

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:06

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

SettingSun posted:

It was always funny to me that these coins can be fractionalized down enough to be worth 1 ten thousandth of a cent each.

�Worth� is bearing a lot of load there, bud

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:20

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Zopotantor posted:

Let me guess: what is being distributed is 5% of the 10% (and not half, as might naïvely be assumed).

That's not the only conceptual issue. Another is that it's distributed proportionally. So those who hold the most, get the most of the tax and it remains that way. That's before 800 other stupid concepts it causes.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:20

GhostofJohnMuir: Aug 14, 2014; anime is not good

i know i'm beating a dead horse, but good god someone needs to give them a pamphlet explaining counterparty risk

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:21

tango alpha delta: Sep 9, 2011; Ask me about my wealthy lifestyle and passive income! I love bragging about my wealth to my lessers! My opinions are more valid because I have more money than you! Stealing the fruits of the labor of the working class is okay, so long as you don't do it using crypto. More money = better than!

Why does all of cryptocurrency embrace the absolute very worst parts of capitalism?

Oh wait

Never mind

Buttcoin

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:22

drk: Jan 16, 2005

zedprime posted:

What happens if I don't click the gear and set slippage to 11%?

you pay 100% of the transaction fees, but get 0% of the coins in return

# ? Aug 31, 2023 21:39

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Cyrano4747 posted:

So what do they think happens in this case? What's the actual end state that they believe in. MOASS happens, the stock price just goes straight vertical to might-as-well-be-infinity and . . . . ????

From where I sit the answer to this is that the hedge fund that is now on the hook for some crazy loving amount of cash just says gently caress it and folds. And that's assuming that trading isn't just straight up halted and poo poo worked out behind the scenes to cap the losses or spin the bad obligation off onto some subsidiary company that can fold or even just loving say "no that's not happening." Like, the nuclear option of this is that their MOASS triggers another 2008 because they cause a bunch of hedges to implode and they take down a bunch of 401ks etc with them.

This isn't a hypothetical, either there was a massive short squeeze on nickel on the London Metal Exchange about a year ago. The price per ton spiked from ~1500-2000 to over $100,000.

Here's a graph of the run-up, this is exactly what the apes expect and want:

(edit: the elevated prices during the week leading to the squeeze were the major short position holder buying up stocks to try and cover their position)

The answer?

They flat out canceled and voided that run-up, and did so specifically to save the rear end of the Tsingshan Holding Group which had shorted nickel over the last year. There were lawsuits, there were a lot of worried think pieces about violating trust and how this might damage the exchange, but iirc nothing really came of it. Except, you know, a bunch of people got really mad that they didn't become overnight trillionaires with one weird trick (Tsingshan Holding Group HATES it!).

The alternative was more or less to hold one of the world's largest suppliers of nickel and stainless steel to the debt, bankrupt them, gently caress over the world economy, AND have a bunch of paper trillionaires that would never get what they were owed because the company imploded.

this is a bit of an overly generous reading of the LME debacle. tsingshan is a major major corporation and could have covered the loss on the extremely stupid short positions it entered; it simply chose not to, because it knew that European courts would not be able to reach most of its assets in the event that it declared bankruptcy and that in the meantime a lot of brokers would be screwed.

In effect xiang guangdu got a too-big-to-fail bailout from the LME and a bunch of ordinary investors got screwed because he was rich enough. It absolutely was the sort of blatant �heads I win tails you lose� capitalism that serves as the ideological kernel of a lot of meme stock ideation.

# ? Aug 31, 2023 22:24

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Cyrano4747 posted:

So what do they think happens in this case? What's the actual end state that they believe in. MOASS happens, the stock price just goes straight vertical to might-as-well-be-infinity and . . . . ????

From where I sit the answer to this is that the hedge fund that is now on the hook for some crazy loving amount of cash just says gently caress it and folds. And that's assuming that trading isn't just straight up halted and poo poo worked out behind the scenes to cap the losses or spin the bad obligation off onto some subsidiary company that can fold or even just loving say "no that's not happening." Like, the nuclear option of this is that their MOASS triggers another 2008 because they cause a bunch of hedges to implode and they take down a bunch of 401ks etc with them.

Your problem is that you're thinking of stock exchanges and short contracts etc as systems created and administered by human beings for human purposes, and if one of those purposes are threatened they can simply say "no we're not doing that" and refuse to enforce the rules, or reverse trades, or whatever.

You should be thinking about stock trades as natural laws, coldly and mechanically enforced by a cruelly impartial djinn. If someone shorts a stock, they are compelled by the universe to buy shares to close their position and if you and your friends own all the shares, you can name any number no matter how absurd and they have to pay it. A vingt-septillion to the googleplex power dollars, please. And now all the hedge funds have to lay all the treasures of the world at your feet, backstopped by all the governments if necessary.

# ? Sep 1, 2023 06:35

Deep Glove Bruno: Sep 4, 2015; yung swamp thang

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

this is a bit of an overly generous reading of the LME debacle.

It absolutely was the sort of blatant �heads I win tails you lose� capitalism that serves as the ideological kernel of a lot of meme stock ideation.

I mean it reads more like a good reason to stay away from meme stock dreams, from how every single one has shaken out

# ? Sep 1, 2023 07:41

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Deep Glove Bruno posted:

I mean it reads more like a good reason to stay away from meme stock dreams, from how every single one has shaken out

But this time will be different!

# ? Sep 1, 2023 07:44

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Basically they think they've found the infinite money cheat code for the real world. Entirely seriously.

# ? Sep 1, 2023 07:53

Mercury_Storm: Jun 12, 2003; *chomp chomp chomp*

Cyrano4747 posted:

This isn't a hypothetical, either there was a massive short squeeze on nickel on the London Metal Exchange about a year ago. The price per ton spiked from ~1500-2000 to over $100,000.

Here's a graph of the run-up, this is exactly what the apes expect and want:

aww yeah gonna be lambos from here to your sister's Christmas!

just DRSes another 60K shares from my kids school lunch fund... wife changing money here we come!!!

# ? Sep 1, 2023 08:47

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Won't you look the fool when GameStop takes over the banking industry with it's NFT marketplace.

# ? Sep 1, 2023 15:08

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Neito posted:

Won't you look the fool when GameStop takes over the banking industry with it's NFT marketplace.

I'm just waiting for them to say they're getting involved in yAT.

# ? Sep 1, 2023 18:17

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Ooof. Colleague from a previous job's account got hacked. All of a sudden every Facebook post was like this:

(post photo of smiling people):

these people paid off their debts with crypto and are financially free! DM me for how you can too!

It's Crypto grifting all the way down.

# ? Sep 4, 2023 17:53

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Not saying I can predict the future, because I can't, but I saw this one coming:

People said cryptocurrency is the most private and secretive form of exchange. I thought not; it's only those things as long as everyone turns a blind eye to everything. The actual currencies are the least private of any known means of exchange: the entire papertrail is out in the open for every single bit of BTC charging hands, viewable by anyone.

First sites that hooked people up with locals to trade with started KYC work and then made you use their escrow so they have a record of what came from where and where it went. Then exchanges started shutting down accounts for e.g. receiving money from porn sites even if the coin went through a private wallet or two beforehand. Then even wallet services started kicking users off if the wallet address was listed on porn or escort sites.

That last is the reason I'm posting. I read in the news that some exchanges had recommended sex workers partner with someone they trust like a family member, who has a verifiable mainstream job, who can recieve the money as a management fee instead of direct sex work and then give the money to the sex worker.

I hope despite reading this in what isn't a tabloid it's not true. Because what do you call the "manager" of a sex worker who has no written contract or formal list of duties? Who takes all of the money that a sex worker makes and then doles it back out to them if they feel like it on any given day? A pimp. You call that person a pimp. The exchanges would basically be suggesting that sex workers get themselves a particularly deadbeat pimp.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Sep 5, 2023

# ? Sep 4, 2023 19:56

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Well, bitcoin has always been about reconstructing the existing financial system, so of course they'd have to get to pimping eventually.

# ? Sep 4, 2023 20:13

tango alpha delta: Sep 9, 2011; Ask me about my wealthy lifestyle and passive income! I love bragging about my wealth to my lessers! My opinions are more valid because I have more money than you! Stealing the fruits of the labor of the working class is okay, so long as you don't do it using crypto. More money = better than!

bitcoin; it's pimps all the way down

# ? Sep 4, 2023 21:02

deep dish peat moss: Jul 27, 2006

Pimpin' ain't 1040-EZ

# ? Sep 4, 2023 21:06

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Bitcoin: 100 Shrimp in every pot and two Pimpmobiles in every garage

# ? Sep 4, 2023 21:13

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:39

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Mercury_Storm posted:

Very bleak meme from one of the insane reddits, I don't get the phone number reference though.

Pretty obvious AI generation, too. That doesn't look anything like a Lamborghini, more like a vague composite of a bunch of different sports cars, with no actual door. And the bag? next to the guy's foot just looks like a random polygon. At least it came up with a good face though?

If these people actually did have any money, they could be fooled by an old Pontiac Fiero kit car.

# ? Sep 4, 2023 21:15

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