- wheatpuppy
- Apr 25, 2008
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YOU HAVE MY POST!
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AITA for telling my family if they really want an honor they should do something life saving for my my wife, kids and I?
Explicitly asking your extended family to engineer a life-threatening situation for your loved ones. This could result in an amazing Coen brothers movie or a horrific news article.
"Ok I spiked the baby's formula with the ground peanuts and shellfish, now where did you put that EpiPen?"
"Wait I thought you were bringing the EpiPen?!"
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Sep 2, 2023 14:23
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:42
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- The Bramble
- Mar 16, 2004
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R/relationships: She does a lot sperm stuff (not fertility related)
Or
R/relationships: Girlfriend loved the experience, she feels satisfied and happy with my sperm.
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Sep 2, 2023 14:25
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- Biplane
- Jul 18, 2005
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No way don't change the title yet, this one is so crazy good!
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Sep 2, 2023 14:27
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- The Bramble
- Mar 16, 2004
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No way don't change the title yet, this one is so crazy good!
I don’t disagree, honestly
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Sep 2, 2023 14:29
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- kimbo305
- Jun 9, 2007
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actually, yeah, I am a little mad
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> For those who wanted to know the collection method, the sperm was extracted using previously described methods
Yeah which paper and gonna need to borrow someone's journal login.
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Sep 2, 2023 14:41
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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"send me any pics of your sperms too, we could race them" It's too long probably?
AITA for being visibly disgusted with my birthday gift?
quote:
Some context: I (28F) have been middle school buddies with my friend (28F). We'd drifted apart had only became somewhat closer after I came back from overseas Uni. We both had traumatic childhoods with violence and mothers with NPD so in that sense we were artificially close. However in therapy it became apparent I was keeping the friendship because I was afraid of being alone, as our middle school friend group was growing apart and we were the only ones "left behind". The old group meets up occasionally and there's a wedding coming up for one so it would be difficult to cut off without the others noticing and making a deal of it. Her mental health also make me hesitant because she has once threatened to off herself.
She has also been more weirdly competitive with me and especially loves playing the pain Olympics over the most innocuous of things. I tolerated this quietly because I know people go through a tough transition phase in therapy.
She then outed me to her sister. Only six people in the entire planet know I'm queer (only one other woman in our middle school friend group knows, the others are deeply religious), as we live in a conservative Asian country and her sister is a known gossip. I forgave her though she never gave me an apology.
Sure enough, the sister outs me in front of her boyfriend because she felt threatened that a gay woman got along well with him. I ended the friendship then, but relented after a few months when she guilted me by saying I was "letting a small issue get in the way of a long friendship". My mistake for that.
The issue:
It was both our birthdays. I usually go all out for my friends and make a curated gift bag that I know for sure they will love. A lot of thought and love goes into them and I write notes for each gift explaining a memory or why I got them the gift. All my friends tend to do something similar, her included, so not something extraordinary.
When it came to the gift exchange, I received a soft toy that had a brown stain on its head that was immediately apparent and a rusty necklace that looked used. It was clumsily thrown together in an dirty plastic bag. No note or card. She was staring at my face and went off about how terribly I was reacting. I'll admit I'm a terrible actress and quite squeamish so it was hard for me to look pleased at a toy with an obvious mystery stain.
She spread the word to our friend circle and I've been gently disinvited to a mutual friend's wedding. I'm just simply stunned at this entire event. Mind you, I don't give a flying gently caress about expensive gifts. She outearns me as she's a SE and the best gift i got from her were a collection of novels by my favourite authors. Some were second hand, but I cherish them because they were hard to find and showed effort and thought put to them. So no, it's not that used items bother me. Im just genuinely confused why she thought I'd like any of that.
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Sep 2, 2023 14:47
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- Arsenic Lupin
- Apr 12, 2012
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This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.
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AITA for taking my parents assignment too literally and being too honest?
quote:My parents called for a family meeting last Sunday and said they were realizing that we didn't have the happy little tight knit family they had expected to have. They expressed that we had all been closer when we were little kids. For context it's me (16m), my brother James (14m) and my other brother Easton (12m). But now it felt like we never spent time as brothers, especially me and James, and that sharing a room they would have expected more from us. My parents said they wanted us to all be totally open and honest about how we felt and to express if we had any issues with the family to get out of the way. They said they weren't going to take a turn until after the three of us spoke first. And we couldn't leave until we opened up and said everything.
I told them I felt like they had somewhat unrealistic goals, that they ignored some stuff that had been mentioned to them in the past that would have made the lack of closeness less of a surprise, and that it was weird for them to pretend they had no idea of anything going on.
I admitted that I hate sharing a room with James. That personality wise, he and I clash, and that he relies too much on being the younger brother and getting his own way, which annoys me. I said I had told them this before. James will set up these sleepover nights for him and me on the floor and he'll expect me to play football outside with him until it's close to midnight and then go in and watch movies that bore me to tears and sleep in our sleeping bags instead of our beds. I said he started insisting we do things he enjoys when we were like 8 and 10 and ever since that point hanging out with him has not been fun for me, it has not made me feel closer to him. I admitted that I would rather share with Easton. I also said I had brought this stuff to my parents attention before. And even complained when he was messing up my side of the room and left me to clean up, which my parents expected me to do instead of him. I also mentioned that I hate hanging out with his friends who I have nothing in common with.
I told my parents they overlook James being mean to Easton. That it might be due to jealousy and resentment that I'm closer to Easton or it might be due to Easton being the youngest. But they would never let me say to James what James can say to Easton.
I also said they treat us like we're little kids. They will tell us to go hang with much younger kids and do their activities at family houses and they'll tell us no video games until we play outside. And that even after 16 years of knowing me, they still can't accept that I don't like sports and it's not my idea of fun to kick a ball or run around and it never has been.
James was upset about the stuff I said about him. Especially about not wanting to hang out with him and his friends. My parents were furious with me and said I had no right to say all that. I said I was doing what they asked and they said that wasn't what they asked for.
AITA?
"Let's all be frank and honest with each other."
"You're treating the middle kid as the favorite and I don't want to spend time with him."
"Not like that!"
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Sep 2, 2023 15:48
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- Khanstant
- Apr 5, 2007
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I'd be mean to Easton too.
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Sep 2, 2023 16:08
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- kdrudy
- Sep 19, 2009
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Hey be nice, Sheena Easton saved his life as a baby
I'd want to hang out with Easton more then, too.
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Sep 2, 2023 16:37
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- Obnoxipus
- Apr 4, 2011
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Would you feel that way if his name was Weston instead?
Actually, my partner used to work with a guy named Easton. He was dating a dude named Weston.
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Sep 2, 2023 18:11
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- Nocheez
- Sep 5, 2000
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Can you spare a little cheddar?
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Nap Ghost
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Taylor is just a name that suits them very well.
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Sep 2, 2023 19:59
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- MajorBonnet
- May 28, 2009
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How did I get here?
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The name is actually Tailor, they're destined to work in men's fashion.
Edit: Your joke, but worse...
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Sep 2, 2023 20:18
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- Farmer Crack-Ass
- Jan 2, 2001
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this is me posting irl
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With their powers combined, they will finally defeat the amazing RANDO!
But only in the event that the first assistant director is unable to fulfill her duties...
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Sep 2, 2023 21:27
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- The Lone Badger
- Sep 24, 2007
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I use a klein bottle, personally. It's the only way my penis can fit inside.
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Sep 2, 2023 22:51
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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No way don't change the title yet, this one is so crazy good!
idgi, context?
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Sep 2, 2023 23:22
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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AITAH for making my unemployed wife do the chores and childcare?
quote:Alright guys, I was forced to make this post because she said she was getting too much hate from biased responses. She wanted to see if I get different replies if I post it.
I'm a surgical fellow (kinda like a resident) and I work 7am-whenever sometimes earlier like 4 pm, sometimes later like 7 pm, but usually home between 5-7 pm. She isn't working right now and she's just studying for her exam (I personally think to an excessive amount, she's typeA and worried she'll fail, when she's never failed an exam in her life). We have a 1 yo daughter who goes to daycare from 9 am - 5 pm. We have an au pair to help out - hours are set at wife’s discretion because I'm not the one responsible for the kid right now.
So since she's not working, she's been doing all of the chores. When I get home, I just wanna rest. And I figured, she had all day with plenty of time off and hired help, she can help manage the household chores.
She can't work for a few more weeks/months (unknown exactly when) due to some licensing issues.
She also threatened to move back and take our baby. There are some issues with that because I work every day, and that would mean I would almost never get to see either of them. And I signed a lease for three adults, and three bedrooms, which is more than my salary.
She wanted to me explicit add in:
She had to give up her 400k job (then some bonus) to move so being unemployed is due to my career move.
She’s contributing more than 50% of the family expenses. She pays for the daycare/au pair
She says she’s tired of being my mom and my servant.
AITAH for leaving my own wedding because my husband embarrassed me?
quote:I F27 and my husband M29 have been together for 3 years. In those 3 years I have never have known him to be selfish, occasionally immature yes, but even that was rare.
These problems arose when those stupid cake smashing videos got popular and my husband thought they were hilarious. I've never thought they were funny and he knows that, yet he was always showing me the videos of those poor wives getting the happiest day of their life ruined by their rear end in a top hat partner for some cheap laughs. He also knows I have a history with cake smashing.
My family does the cake smashing thing. I remember it was my 17th birthday and I pleaded with my mom to not do it. She promised and I trusted her. I had my hair and makeup done up all nice and right as I blew out my candles my mom pushed my head into the cake and one of the decorations on the cake ended up slicing my forehead. Not enough to go to the hospital but enough for some substantial bleeding. My birthday was ruined and after I wouldn't come out my room. My mom still calls me a brat for that.
I told him if he ever did something like that to me I'd leave him. He started laughing but I was being for real. Though he really was not taking me seriously.
Now skip to a few days ago when my wedding happened. Everything was perfect, I was happy, he was happy. I was excited for our new lives as newlyweds. I felt like a princess in my poofy white dress and done up hair with perfect make-up. All very expensive things I would like to mention.
We get to the cake cutting part and as I turn to him he scoops up a huge chunk of our wedding cake and smashes it all over my face. Everything just seemed to go in slow motion for a few moments. He's just laughing at me, and then says "you should see your face" and continues to laugh. Other people in the crowd (mostly my family) is also laughing at me.
Then I just start walking away, he realizes that I'm leaving and tries to catch up with me and says I'm being extra. I push him away and order an uber. As I got outside most of the crowd is following me telling me to come back. I get into the uber and drive away.
I drove to our apartment and packed most of my things and went to stay at a hotel. I currently though am staying at a friend's house. My family and his family has been blowing up my phone for days. Saying I'm being childish and my husband is a good man and it was just a joke.
My husband has been calling me off the hook telling me to please come home and that he wants to talk. That he's sorry and didn't think I'd get that "emotional"
This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives and he embarrassed me in front of everyone for some prank that he knew I hated.
Not only that, he ruined a 500 dollar cake. He ruined my makeup, my hair and the top of my dress. The cake got all over. Though I still do love him and I'm wondering If I really was to hard on him, that seems to be everyone else's opinion.
So AITA?
Update: one day later
quote:So my last post got taken down and I've gotten a lot of messages.
I just wanted to update you all about a few things
I haven't gotten my stuff from my ex yet, I just haven't had the energy to because I'm still extremely upset...obviously.
From the videos online to the comments I received on my original post to ALSO the comments I looked at on repost of my post. It kind of made me think that there probably was a lot of red flags and I was just used to being abused so the bare minimum was enough for me.
After speaking about it with my friend she said that he definitely had a lot of red flags and she even told me I should stay far away from dating until I get some help because I was obviously not seeing the red flags right in front of me.
I'm not going to go into it but sometimes I'd have to cook 2nd dinners for my ex because he didn't like everything I made. His mom apparently didn't get him used to vegetables, so he won't eat them. Or making fun of my cramps on my period. That's some of what I was referring to when I said immature.
Someone texted me saying if I was sure that he cheated on me.
No I am not sure, at the moment it just felt like it made sense because of how horrible he was being. Though they made a good point. The sister very much well could have just been trying to kick me when I was down since I was leaving anyway. I have no evidence and I probably will never have evidence.
I unblocked him to just tell him I was going to come over in a few days to get my stuff and if he could just not be there and that I'd leave my keys.
He said fine and that was it.
So he will not be there when I get the rest of my belongings. I will also bring a friend with me in case he does do something.
I'm still not speaking to my family and I think I'm just going to go no contact like people suggested.
I saw a video from a woman speaking about me and someone in the comments said I was groomed into this treatment which is why he felt it was okay to do this. Maybe she's right.
When I get my Financials in order I think I'll try therapy and wait a few years before attempting to date anyone.
I also kept getting this question. "How did the uber come so quick"
The wedding venue was in a city, in a building. Uber took 30 secs to order and 3 mins to get there. Plus who was really going to stop me from getting into the car? My husband gave up tbh pretty fast once he saw me trying to get into the car. I thought it was weird but I realize now. Playing victim because he didn't get his way.
Some of you may be saying how did you not realize you were being abused?
I don't know sometimes it just happens that way.
My brain is kind of dead at this point.
Again thank you to literally everyone for all the sweet comments and even people messaging me privately. I haven't responded to them all but I will try to since you took time out of your day to see if I was okay. I really appreciate that
To people who say this is fake. I don't care 🤷 I went on this app because I figured I'd get like a few comments and maybe some insight. I got that insight (wayyy more than I thought I'd get in a million years) and now I'm going to move forward with my life. So this is the last update, I'm going to respond to the pm's and then forget about this account and hopefully my old life. It's genuinely to depressing for me to think about.
Edit: I'm okay though I feel lonely and depressed but I have my friends supporting me so I'm not that alone. I'll be okay and get myself out of this hole. I realize this post is a bit to doom and gloom.
Edit: I'll bring a policeman with me if you guys say that I should.
Where the gently caress did this cake smash poo poo come from? I don't remember ever seeing it as a kid.
Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Sep 3, 2023
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Sep 3, 2023 02:40
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- limp dick calvin
- Sep 1, 2006
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Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
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I’m the dad who’s not responsible for a child right now
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Sep 3, 2023 02:44
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- ApplesandOranges
- Jun 22, 2012
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Thankee kindly.
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AITA for taking pictures and video of the woman who hit my car.
quote:I (35M) was driving when I was rear ended by a young woman (mid 20s).
My car is an older 2010 Chevy Cruze and while the rear already had minor damage, this added a scuff mark on the fender and made it even more lose than it was before.
The woman had a newer Mazda and her car looked fine.
I was understandably mad so I did get up to her and call her a dumb bitch on her phone but later calmed down but instead of being apologetic she started shouting and made a big deal of me 'cussing' and claimed she was not on the phone but my brake lights did not light up.
We exchanged information and since I did not want to be scammed in case she gave me fake stuff, I wanted to document everything. I insisted on calling the cops and they wrote a report and gave her a ticket.
I took lots of pictures with my DSLR which I had with me of the scene, the cars and her. She told me not to take pictures of her but I took pictures and video despite this because I wanted the maximum evidence possible. I also took pictures of her feet because she had heels on and was presumably driving in them in case it caused her to not brake properly. She got exceptionally annoyed about this.
She called me an rear end in a top hat as she left. I was wondering if I am really the AH since it is standard procedure for accidents to document anything. I could have done it with my phone but since my dslr takes better pictures I used that.
EDIT: I took most photos before the cops arrived, in case she ran away or something.
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Sep 3, 2023 03:03
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Where the gently caress did this cake smash poo poo come from? I don't remember ever seeing it as a kid.
I think it was one of those things invented by fake comedy videos and had boomers going 'Great idea! Glad I thought of it' and inventing another tradition of theirs retroactively.
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Sep 3, 2023 03:40
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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am i (21/m) wrong for kicking my ex-gf (20/f) out after she broke up w/ me?
quote:so my ex moved in with me a few months ago and things were going great. up until recently, she decided to end things because she no longer wanted to be in a relationship & wanted to pursue other things in life. i just shrugged it off and wished her good luck. she then said she needed to stay at my place for a few days to pack things up.
i looked at her dumbfounded and said “uhh no, get the gently caress out of here,” calm, of course. she looked at me all surprised, like mfer 😂wtf were you expecting? she then tells me she doesnt have anywhere to stay and that her best friend has her car.
“i honestly don’t care. either find someone else on tinder to care enough or you can pay me to move for you.” she didnt have much to pack, but “kindly” asked to stay again. i told her again to get the gently caress out of my apartment (calmly ofc) and she acted all offended.
i guess her parents paid an uber to pick her up. i took every single thing i’ve given her and she turned red and seemed embarrassed when being told to give things back.
she also had the audacity to “kindly ask” $ for some food. i told her to figure out food on her way to her parents which seemed to have further embarrassed her based on how red she turned. her parents and best friend texted me how much of an rear end in a top hat i was, but i told them i’m not going out of my way for someone who wont matter to me anymore. and i blocked all of them and am focusing on myself rn.
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Sep 3, 2023 04:06
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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AITA for getting my son a mini fridge and 2 locks for his room because his sister steals?
quote:I have 2 kids, 17M and 16F. Both of them have jobs.
My kids are different in every way possible.
My son usually saves his money and when he does spend it hes cheap with it. He has a lot of money saved from when he started working. He only spends large amounts around his birthday or christmas for himself or for the family. He enjoys cooking and hes a drat good cook. He has cooked for the family before. He has leftovers, and they’re his unless he says otherwise.
My daughter is the opposite, she buys a lot of stuff with her money. She still leaves enough saved over in case she needs to buy food or toiletries. She doesn’t like cooking, so she eats what my wife or I cook.
The issue is my daughter has been stealing from my son recently. She’ll eat his leftovers, bring some to school. She goes into his room and wears his clothes or accessories to school. Her brother is of course upset by this. If she asked he might have said yes, but she doesn’t. Her defense for the food is that its in the fridge, anyone can take from it.
Her defense for the clothes is that it fits her style better, and she can’t find clothes like her brother wears. He’s given her the site its from, but she hasn’t bought clothes from there cause it’s pricey.
My son came up to me upset and asked if he could get locks for his room (some of the doors don’t have locks), and that he’s been saving up for a mini fridge. I decided that i’d pay for the mini fridge, and get him the locks. He has two keys for his room now.
My daughter is very clearly upset, but hasn’t said anything. My wife understands the mini fridge, but thinks the two locks is too much. She thinks its treating our daughter like a criminal. My MIL agrees with my wife. AITA?
EDIT: Thank you for the comments. I plan to talk to my wife about punishments. She lifts any punishments I have given my daughter. If we can come to an agreement and punish her, and she keeps stealing i’ll talk to her about therapy.
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Sep 3, 2023 05:10
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:42
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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She (25F) got mad that I (25M) cooked lettuce the wrong way
quote:I (26M) was asked by my girlfriend (25F) to make a late night snack because she was hungry. It's 1AM in the morning and she wanted some cooked iceberg lettuce.
We are watching a movie and I thought to myself I'II just cook it a convenient way so we don't pause the movie, just so we could watch it together. She turns around for 1 second and goes "are you f'ING serious, you didn't cook it the way I asked for it, was this how you cooked it last time?"
Mind you, the night before I did cook it the way she wanted.
She starts this full on argument about "how can I trust you with any big decisions in the future without you doing it a different way behind my back?" She starts going off about how she has trust issues now because I didn't cook lettuce the way she wanted it. I've been cooking for about 10-15 years of my life since I was a kid and the way I made it is going to end up the same way and same taste that she asked for anyway.
Is it weird that I think this is just odd how she decides to start a full on argument just over the way I cooked lettuce?
Now she wants a full on discussion about trust issues because I wanted to enjoy the movie with her whilst trying to cook for her?
Don't know what sort of big decisions that she would be making when I make sure all bills are paid, mortgage is all managed and paid by me.
All she has to worry about with her own job is what she wants to spend her own money on.
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Sep 3, 2023 05:41
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Sep 2, 2023 14:23
