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Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Jose posted:

Yoann Gourcuff injuring his hand high fiving a team mate being subbed off

whoever it was that tried drilling their infected toe making things much worse. possibly the same footballer burning his face after microwaving a whole egg and having it explode in his face

Darius Vassell was the toe

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Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards
That time before VAR was introduced into the Premier League when people's argument against it was that it would be too perfect and we'd have nothing to discuss after the game,

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

which club had to hire a dude to go around solving problems for the players including "your head is wet in the mornings because you sleep next to an open window"?

HappyCamperGL
May 18, 2014

Butterfly Valley posted:

Darius Vassell was the toe

kirk broadfoot was the egg exploder.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

FullLeatherJacket posted:

which club had to hire a dude to go around solving problems for the players including "your head is wet in the mornings because you sleep next to an open window"?

no clue but this reminded me of Andy Carroll being forced to live with Kevin Nolan

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---
It reminded me of Balotelli forgetting where he parked his Maserati and remembering months later that he left it at the airport

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
The guy at man united who's job it was to drive a new Lamborghini to wherever Ronaldo had crashed his last one so he could continue his journey

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

shut up blegum posted:

It reminded me of Balotelli forgetting where he parked his Maserati and remembering months later that he left it at the airport

i thought that was jenas

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


jermaine pennant abandoned a car when he left zaragoza idk if that’s the incident you’re taking about

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

jesus WEP posted:

jermaine pennant abandoned a car when he left zaragoza idk if that’s the incident you’re taking about

it is, got my jermaines mixed up, coffee hasnt hit yet

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

shut up blegum posted:

It reminded me of Balotelli forgetting where he parked his Maserati and remembering months later that he left it at the airport

No it didn’t

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Wasn’t that Jermaine Pennant

cagliostr0
Jun 8, 2020
Stoke fans blaming Aaron Ramsey's broken leg on Wenger banning full cream milk

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---

Shrapnig posted:

No it didn’t

You're right.
I looked it up and some teammates did leave a bag of fish in his car, just before they left on their US tour.
Balotelli only found out 2 weeks later and the car's interior was ruined.

And that reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea6t_FCQ6Vc

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



That time when Balotelli set his house on fire shooting fireworks out the window at 1am before the Manchester derby and then scored the first two goals as City won 6-1

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



And that time when Balo and his brother were driving on the highway and saw a sign for a women's prison and pulled over to go try and take a tour because they didn't think it could be real

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost




Holy poo poo the shirt off celebration was 12 years ago :psyduck:

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
Chuck Blazer’s luxury apartment in midtown Manhattan that was just for his cats.

hadji murad
Apr 18, 2006
Good post combo, chuck shirt followed by Chuck Blazer

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

shut up blegum posted:

You're right.
I looked it up and some teammates did leave a bag of fish in his car, just before they left on their US tour.
Balotelli only found out 2 weeks later and the car's interior was ruined.

And that reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea6t_FCQ6Vc

This post reminded me that that video is STILL the most-watched on MLS' YouTube page, with the second being this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU0SZXcNNbY

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

blue footed boobie posted:

Chuck Blazer’s luxury apartment in midtown Manhattan that was just for his cats.

Not just in midtown Manhattan, it was in Trump Tower

kri kri
Jul 18, 2007

Page 69 ftw

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

the story paddy kenny told on his podcast where neil warnock once brought on a 14-year-old kid in a preseason game and it turned out to be the son of the dude who painted warnock's house so that he wouldn't have to pay him

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
Colin Wanker

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

FullLeatherJacket posted:

the story paddy kenny told on his podcast where neil warnock once brought on a 14-year-old kid in a preseason game and it turned out to be the son of the dude who painted warnock's house so that he wouldn't have to pay him

lmao

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



[
https://www.tiktok.com/embed/7254110330639486234

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


I had someone with the surname "Warnock" in my Facebook friends since I was at uni about 20 years ago and I only realised it was one of Neil's family when they started posting photos when Cardiff got promoted a few years ago

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


FullLeatherJacket posted:

the story paddy kenny told on his podcast where neil warnock once brought on a 14-year-old kid in a preseason game and it turned out to be the son of the dude who painted warnock's house so that he wouldn't have to pay him
lmao

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


I just remembered Liverpool got something like a third of their goals of the season by that point in that one Utd game

Moby_Dick
Apr 18, 2003

You'd think I've been riding the L all my life.
Joey Barton playing Football Manager, managing himself, arguing with himself, selling himself in a vortex of narcissistic hubris.

notaspy
Mar 22, 2009

greazeball posted:

And that time when Balo and his brother were driving on the highway and saw a sign for a women's prison and pulled over to go try and take a tour because they didn't think it could be real

I like the story about him being sent to the shops by his mum to buy cleaning products only to return several hours later with a truck full of stuff like trampolines and water guns.

Shroud
May 11, 2009
WAGatha Christie still cracks me up.

szary
Mar 12, 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWVIUe2_uAM

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
that time Jose Mourinho said he was Michael Essien's "white daddy"

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


jonjo shelvey squaring up to fergie for no real reason

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What did you say the strategy was?
Cheick tiote's only goal for newcastle being an absolute worldy

Him taking another volley later in the season from closer but having it go out for a throw in.

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005

jesus WEP posted:

jonjo shelvey squaring up to fergie for no real reason

Along those lines: Harry Potter, he’s coming for you

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



That time Djibril Cissé bought a manor to become the Lord of Frodsham and then banned the Cheshire hunt from his grounds https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/football-s-lord-of-the-manor-bans-hunting-on-his-nine-acres-491233.html

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


greazeball posted:

That time Djibril Cissé bought a manor to become the Lord of Frodsham and then banned the Cheshire hunt from his grounds https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/football-s-lord-of-the-manor-bans-hunting-on-his-nine-acres-491233.html
based

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ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What did you say the strategy was?

greazeball posted:

That time Djibril Cissé bought a manor to become the Lord of Frodsham and then banned the Cheshire hunt from his grounds https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/football-s-lord-of-the-manor-bans-hunting-on-his-nine-acres-491233.html

Great story

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