r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Parent who disappeared for more than 20 years suddenly materializes! I wonder if there's a catch or perhaps an ulterior motive?

AITA: For not wanting to pay for my sister�s medical bills?

quote:

My parents had me at 16. They were both in high school. After I was born, my father dropped out to work full-time and take care of me, so my bio mother could stay in school. Eventually, after finishing high school, she realized that motherhood wasn't for her and left my dad and me. I was 2, so I don't really remember her being around.

After that, my father worked three times as hard to provide for me. He also met a nice woman whom he later married when I was 7. I consider her my mom (I'll call her my stepmother to avoid confusion). My bio mother didn't contribute in any way, not even financially. In fact, the last time she contacted me before now was on my 3rd birthday, which was just a quick happy birthday card through the mail.

I never had ill feelings towards her decision because I had my dad, mom, and brother who filled the emptiness she left. My parents have never said anything negative about her. Her leaving me was not something I thought about every day, so you can imagine my confusion when she reached out on social media to talk. I thought about it for days before I agreed. We met in a restaurant for the first time in 25 years. It was awkward small talk at the beginning before we delved into why she left. My bio mother teared up while explaining why. She suffered from postpartum depression and felt trapped by the constant cycle, so she felt compelled to leave. She explained why she reached out and made it clear that she didn�t leave because of me.

Of course, I sympathized with her, as I saw my stepmom go through postpartum depression with my brother and saw how much it affected her. We met a couple more times before I was invited to meet her new family. She had a husband, and also had 3 children, 13F, 11M, and 7F. After weeks of this, I had my most recent meetup with my bio mother. She looked distressed while greeting me, so I asked if anything happened. She then explained to me in a quick response that her oldest daughter, 13F, has health issues (I won't say what due to how sensitive it is). She explained she needs $25,000 for medication and has accumulated medical bills of $20,000. She asked if I could pay it off.

For context, after graduating and receiving my postgraduate diploma, I landed my dream job that earned a good sum of money. I'm certain she may have heard about where my job was from somewhere and saw it as an opportunity. She gave me time to think about it. It didn't take long for me to say no to it. I felt used and exploited. She never wanted to meet me; she just wanted money from the child she left to help the other child that she loves. After giving her my response, which wasn't much, just a simple 'no, I don't feel comfortable with that' through text, I was soon bombarded with text messages from her husband telling me what a nasty piece of work I was, followed by more texts from my bio mother about how I'm so cruel for not helping out my sister due to my grudge against her. And then, to top it all off, I was getting some messages from family members from her side of the family questioning why I'm being so difficult. So, am I really terrible for not paying for my half sister's medication and medical bills?"

Mom can deduct that $45k from the 16 years (plus interest) of unpaid child support she still owes.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 07:08

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:29

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

This is my daughter Slot Machine, and her health issues are gonna break my knees if I don't get 20 large right now.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 07:32

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Incoherence posted:

My boyfriend(23M) has been distant with me for a couple weeks because I(19F) am not a shy pooper.

ladies, is it masculine to take a poo poo outside your own home

I think I just learned more about this woman's poop than I ever wanted to.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 07:38

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for temporarily lying to family/friends to trap a flying monkey/enabler?

quote:

I (36f) have been NC with my narcissistic emotionally abusive parents for a year now.

I changed my number ages ago but they someone had given them my new number as they recently attempted to make contact. Im only in touch with four "mutuals" (my sister, my aunt, childhood friend and cousin who is not the child of the aunt in question).

Before I changed my number again I wanted to trap the rat (tell each one of them a lie and see which one gets back to my parents) before changing my number so I don't accidentally give it to the rat.

Remember these are all lies; I told my sister in having an affair (warned husband of this ahead of time he's in on it), told my aunt I think i might be a lesbian (parents are very homophobic), told childhood friend i think im preg nant, and told my cousin im moving back to my hometown (near where nparents live) For a job.

Didn't take long, 3 days later get a text from nmom about how excited she is I'm moving back and it's the perfect time to "bury the hatchet." Cousin....BUSTED

I had changed my phone number and cut off contact with cousin and gave the other 3 my new number, and told them the situation that these were all lies and I had to catch the rat to see who was giving info to my parents. Aunt and childhood friend understood, but sister (while she wasn't the rat and never told nparents) thinks I "went too far" and is upset with me for lying to her and is insulted i think shed betray my confidence. I told her I had to do this to protect myself from people who were leaking information.

AITA?

quote:

NTA. But just imagine the alternate timeline where your parents found out you were moving back home due to your husband kicking you out because of the lesbian affair you had but were still pregnant with his child. Wooo boy

# ? Sep 5, 2023 07:41

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

FMguru posted:

Parent who disappeared for more than 20 years suddenly materializes! I wonder if there's a catch or perhaps an ulterior motive?

AITA: For not wanting to pay for my sister�s medical bills?

Mom can deduct that $45k from the 16 years (plus interest) of unpaid child support she still owes.

Not calling it fake, but seems weird that OP didn't check with their dad about how he thought of the whole situation, given how solid family support seems to be.
Was there any comment on that?

# ? Sep 5, 2023 07:51

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for temporarily lying to family/friends to trap a flying monkey/enabler?

Sister can get hosed; OP thought she could trust the cousin, too, and look how that worked out.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:01

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Biplane posted:

Talk about sprezzatura, god drat lmao

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:01

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Total Meatlove posted:

The husband making unreasonable demands, causing his wife to miss out on two social engagements in the same day with friends and family, seems red flag parade isolationist behaviour or am I being paranoid because of this thread?

Yeah, that was my thought too. It's weird power play stuff any way though.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:03

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Foo Diddley posted:

hey could the next half dozen kids you send out be closer to each other in age? it makes them easier to stack, thanks

Stack ranking foster kids and firing the bottom performers every 6 months

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:06

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

FMguru posted:

Parent who disappeared for more than 20 years suddenly materializes! I wonder if there's a catch or perhaps an ulterior motive?

AITA: For not wanting to pay for my sister’s medical bills?

Mom can deduct that $45k from the 16 years (plus interest) of unpaid child support she still owes.

kimbo305 posted:

Not calling it fake, but seems weird that OP didn't check with their dad about how he thought of the whole situation, given how solid family support seems to be.
Was there any comment on that?

If you won't call it fake, I will; the writer got mixed up at the big reveal whether they were talking in person or over text.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:09

codswallop: Dec 26, 2012; BABIES EVERYWHERE!

Midnight Voyager posted:

Oh, so you missed when there was a big drama over him treating employees like poo poo and then he put out a musical review of The Wall that was just "TLDR: I don't understand any symbolism or literally anything about music and I have no critical thought processes."

� I�d blocked that from my mind.

Though at that point I think I�d just stumbled upon someone�s critical review video about NC�s video.

I need to reblock that again, it was actively terrible.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:12

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

If you won't call it fake, I will; the writer got mixed up at the big reveal whether they were talking in person or over text.

I thought "gave me time to think about it" meant the OP went home and then texted back promptly.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:13

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Vim Fuego posted:

Stack ranking foster kids and firing the bottom performers every 6 months

Agile standup breakfast

# ? Sep 5, 2023 08:29

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

kimbo305 posted:

I thought "gave me time to think about it" meant the OP went home and then texted back promptly.

Reading again it's not as clear-cut as I first thought, but I wouldn't ever say that someone I was talking with in person replied with several sentences "in a quick response"

# ? Sep 5, 2023 09:05

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for not accepting rejection?

quote:

I'm cutting to the point, i don't like getting rejected. the moment a girl rejects me any relationship or connection we have is dead to me. I know its harsh, but it's the truth. Ever since I started being interested in girls, all they do is reject me or "see me as a brother", Im not interested in sticking around for that tbh. It happened to me last week, with a girl i thought I had a chance of getting with. It crushed me, and i blocked her everywhere. One of her friends went up to me a few days later and got in my face about how i'm immature and how I threw her away and don't value her.

I just walked away from her. I'm so loving sick of this poo poo happening to me, rejection is loving horrific at this point, and all I get for not accepting it is poo poo. I don't even lash out, i just do what's best for everyone and cut contact with them, and still I get poo poo on for "not valuing them" and poo poo. I just don't want to waste my time and energy on lost causes. Anyway, are they right? Am I an rear end in a top hat who doesnt value girls?

Edit: didnt expect this huge reaction. apparently i'm an rear end in a top hat because I think it's ridiculous for girls to expect friendship after basically making GBS threads all ofer you, and that they are then entitled to ruin your reputation if you disregard them from that point on. I expected some blowbakc, but not such a united front against torturing yourself after already getting assfucked by rejection

Edit 2: gently caress it, not gonna argue anymore. gently caress this poo poo, all you taught me is that apparently women can treat guys like dogshit and the guy is at fault for thinking "friendship" is substandard or not worth it. no point arguing

# ? Sep 5, 2023 10:38

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

What a lovely chap. I wish him all the best in his further romantic endeavours. Because surely, someone as warm, selfless and not at all bitter must be surrounded by eligible young ladies vying for his affections.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 10:47

kru: Oct 5, 2003

I mean if he's looking to date, being rejected then blocking and moving on is the best for all parties.

He's probably a massive twat, obviously, but at least this keeps him out of the way.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 11:15

Tired Moritz: Mar 25, 2012; wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

_{_{(n o i c e)}}

I bet he didn't even carry a printer to her house for her smh

# ? Sep 5, 2023 11:40

kru: Oct 5, 2003

Tired Moritz posted:

I bet he didn't even carry a printer to her house for her smh

My love language is HP printer ink

# ? Sep 5, 2023 11:54

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

kru posted:

I mean if he's looking to date, being rejected then blocking and moving on is the best for all parties.

He's probably a massive twat, obviously, but at least this keeps him out of the way.

This, at least he doesn't hang around being "nice" while waiting for his next chance to put the moves on

# ? Sep 5, 2023 11:58

erosion: Dec 21, 2002; It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

quote:

It happened to me last week, with a girl i thought I had a chance of getting with.

Well, there's your problem.

I feel sorry for the guy. The message young people get is "if you like someone, and think you might have a chance, be brave and ask them out". This is actually a terrible idea for many reasons. This guy is probably psyching himself up repeatedly and then getting shot down every time because he has romcom poisoning. Maybe the message should be "only ask someone out if you're pretty sure you'll get a yes and you can live with being rejected and ruining your existing relationship."

AITA for asking my SO to stop a certain type of swearing?

edit: removed, potentially abuse

erosion fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Sep 5, 2023

# ? Sep 5, 2023 12:59

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

erosion posted:

AITA for asking my SO to stop a certain type of swearing?

hmm, holy poo poo

# ? Sep 5, 2023 13:12

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not accepting rejection?

Yes, you are the rear end in a top hat, and I pray your legs explode. Next case, bailiff.

erosion posted:

AITA for asking my SO to stop a certain type of swearing?

# ? Sep 5, 2023 13:32

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

That's just depressing and not particularly interesting or funny.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 13:34

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

erosion posted:

Well, there's your problem.

I feel sorry for the guy. The message young people get is "if you like someone, and think you might have a chance, be brave and ask them out". This is actually a terrible idea for many reasons. This guy is probably psyching himself up repeatedly and then getting shot down every time because he has romcom poisoning. Maybe the message should be "only ask someone out if you're pretty sure you'll get a yes and you can live with being rejected and ruining your existing relationship."

Romcom poisoning usually goes the other way though, where you orbit around someone obsessively for years and passive-aggressively criticise their partners until you think they're vulnerable enough to give in to your advances. Because they're your designated Love Interest like in the popular media.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:09

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Yeah, this sounds more like Protagonist Syndrome. "I'm the center of the universe and the protagonist of life, how loving dare you reject me, I"M rejecting YOU"

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:21

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

erosion posted:

Well, there's your problem.

I feel sorry for the guy. The message young people get is "if you like someone, and think you might have a chance, be brave and ask them out". This is actually a terrible idea for many reasons. This guy is probably psyching himself up repeatedly and then getting shot down every time because he has romcom poisoning. Maybe the message should be "only ask someone out if you're pretty sure you'll get a yes and you can live with being rejected and ruining your existing relationship."

AITA for asking my SO to stop a certain type of swearing?

edit: removed, potentially abuse

I'm not sure its romcom poisoning exactly.

My impression from reading years of both Reddit and this thread is that if there is an opinion that internet misogynists and generally sensible population could agree on, it's that young women are, on average, terrible at picking men.

Of course, that's where the commonality ends, as one group tells men they have to become terrible to be desirable, while the other states the opposite.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:26

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Yeah, this sounds more like Protagonist Syndrome. "I'm the center of the universe and the protagonist of life, how loving dare you reject me, I"M rejecting YOU"

More like "why should I bother to have anything to do with women who won't let me stick my dick in them it's not like they have anything else to offer".

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:28

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

a podcast for cats posted:

one group tells men they have to become terrible to be desirable, while the other states the opposite.

They have to become desirable to be terrible?

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:30

Traxus IV: Sep 11, 2001; it's our time now
let's get this shit started

Runcible Cat posted:

More like "why should I bother to have anything to do with women who won't let me stick my dick in them it's not like they have anything else to offer".

Yeah, this was the reading I got off of that post. Dude's mad that women aren't letting him gently caress them and is throwing away the whole person after getting rejected because he doesn't think they're good for anything else. Explains why he's so angry, he seems to feel entitled to sexual access and is being "denied" it.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:34

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Nice Tuckpointing! posted:

My brother-in-law's family is always late. Consistently. 7pm dinner party? They're rocking up at 9pm at the earliest, usually slightly high. It's been two decades of this, and we have all just collectively given up on caring if they care.

My mom is like this. She missed my wedding ceremony because I guess "ceremony at 4, reception at 6" means you can rock up at 5:30 and be surprised that no one waited for you.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:42

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for saying I don't care about being there for my half siblings first time at Disney?

quote:

My parents are divorced and I (16f) used to bounce between my mom and dad's every other week. But since last year I stay more with my mom than with my dad. Dad's remarried and mom isn't. My stepmom and dad have 3 kids together (8, 6 and 4). My dad's house has more money and they go on more vacations than my mom can afford. This year my mom was able to get money for us to go on vacation but it overlapped with my dad's Disney booking. I wanted to go on vacation with mom and I told dad that mom and I already had the plans. He said it was the first Disney vacation and he figured I wouldn't want to miss out on my half siblings experiencing it for the first time, But this was the first vacation mom and I were able to do since I was 9.

It's been over a month since the vacations and in the last week or thereabouts my dad and stepmom went from disappointed but sorta understanding to mad that mom didn't sacrifice the vacation with me so I could enjoy seeing my siblings experience Disney for the first time. They said they were sorry my mom denied me the opportunity to enjoy the amazing moment. I told them they were getting a bit carried away over it all and it wasn't a big deal. They said given how important my siblings are to me it was a huge deal to make me miss out on those memories and experiences with them.

I told them I did not care about being there for their first time at Disney. I said I never cared about seeing their first vacation, etc. That they care as their parents but they are not such a huge deal in my life that I am feeling denied milestones for them. This came as a shock to them and they said as their much older sister and I told them I might be older, but I would rather have memories with mom than them.

My dad and stepmom did not handle what I said well and maybe I was wrong. They told me my half siblings adore me and they believe I think the world of them too. The fact I admit to not feeling that way and not caring is a cruel thing. They also accused me of leading everyone on.

AITA?

Our built-in childcare doesn't want to work!

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:49

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for saying I don't care about being there for my half siblings first time at Disney?

Our built-in childcare doesn't want to work!

I mean, she can think the world of her siblings while also wanting to spend that time and preference her mum. It's not fair to make the kid have to choose, and then punish her for that choice

# ? Sep 5, 2023 14:56

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not accepting rejection?

Op is� uh�

quote:

why though? who would willingly be around someone you like while shes going out with other guys and poo poo. might as well chop your cock off or hang from meat hooks while youre at it tbh, torture seems to be some peoples thing

yikes

# ? Sep 5, 2023 15:15

Cosmik Debris: Sep 12, 2006; The idea of a place being called "Chuck's Suck & Fuck" is, first of all, a little hard to believe

kru posted:

I mean if he's looking to date, being rejected then blocking and moving on is the best for all parties.

He's probably a massive twat, obviously, but at least this keeps him out of the way.

I guess I'm in the minority but moving on after a rejection is the definition of healthy behavior so idk I guess things have changed.

I'm all for cutting ties with people I don't want to be around anymore, the reasons hardly matter.

I think social media has made people more aware of when it's happening, it used to be you just kinda drifted away and everyone forgot about it and moved on with their lives. It wasn't a "thing" that you had to do, where you block them in social. Blocking may be a bit rough, I think back when I was on Facebook there was an ignore function that did the same thing except they didn't know you had done it. That's probably more appropriate imo.

Edit: apparently op is a weirdo, but still, there's nothing wrong with deciding you don't want to be around someone anymore. If he had just phrased it differently, like, good for her I'm just not interested in being around her anymore and wish her the best, the maybe he'd have a better reaction.

Cosmik Debris fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Sep 5, 2023

# ? Sep 5, 2023 15:56

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Yeah, I don�t necessarily disagree with the premise of distancing yourself/cutting things off after rejection - especially if it�s not someone you were friends with beforehand - but holy poo poo he couldn�t have worded it worse and it really betrays his underlying motivations

# ? Sep 5, 2023 16:03

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

Cosmik Debris posted:

I guess I'm in the minority but moving on after a rejection is the definition of healthy behavior so idk I guess things have changed.

I'm all for cutting ties with people I don't want to be around anymore, the reasons hardly matter.

I think social media has made people more aware of when it's happening, it used to be you just kinda drifted away and everyone forgot about it and moved on with their lives. It wasn't a "thing" that you had to do, where you block them in social. Blocking may be a bit rough, I think back when I was on Facebook there was an ignore function that did the same thing except they didn't know you had done it. That's probably more appropriate imo.

Edit: apparently op is a weirdo, but still, there's nothing wrong with deciding you don't want to be around someone anymore. If he had just phrased it differently, like, good for her I'm just not interested in being around her anymore and wish her the best, the maybe he'd have a better reaction.

If it weren�t putting off the �I can�t be friends with girls and only interact with them if I want a relationship� vibes, then yes I would 100% agree with you.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 16:20

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

This is from a while ago, but,

Vim Fuego posted:

AITA for calling out my aunt for criticizing me and my brother for 'sharing a boyfriend' when she did the same?

quote:
The thing with my father is not that he thinks I shouldn't have defended myself and my brother, it's the way I did it,

No it isn't.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

But he can get all kinds of infections from the pools of blood on the shower floor. Because your average guy takes such good care of their feet in the first place.

I share a bathroom with roommates and before I shower I spray down the shower floor with disinfectant spray. Not after, but if people want to use the disinfectant it's right there, they're welcome to.

# ? Sep 5, 2023 16:23

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

As we're on the other side of the pandemic mostly posts like that Incel really get to me. Like he made that post in 2019. Did he mature at all? How does such toxic incelhood deal with the pandemic? Is he having healthy relationships now or just completely double-downed?

# ? Sep 5, 2023 16:46

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Hughlander posted:

As we're on the other side of the pandemic mostly posts like that Incel really get to me. Like he made that post in 2019. Did he mature at all? How does such toxic incelhood deal with the pandemic? Is he having healthy relationships now or just completely double-downed?

What do you think?

# ? Sep 5, 2023 16:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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