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We'll let you harass 10%. For a little treat.
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Sep 6, 2023 19:05
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Motronic posted:Congratulations! You have scored 90% on the Ant-Harassment Training for Supervisors and Managers - Non-State Specific: Pre-test I missed one on our last round due to answering 'under no circumstances' to the question 'when is it appropriate for a supervisor to compliment a subordinate's clothing'' Apparently the libertines up at the French mothership aren't that strict and it's 'sometimes'
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Sep 6, 2023 19:12
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tactlessbastard posted:I missed one on our last round due to answering 'under no circumstances' to the question 'when is it appropriate for a supervisor to compliment a subordinate's clothing'' Lol. The one I missed was "What are the business implications and losses associated with workplace harassment?" Two of the plausible answers were "missed work/absenteeism" or "loss of productivity". I'm letting the videos run now, and apparently it's "loss of productivity"! Glad I know how wrong I was.
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Sep 6, 2023 19:16
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tactlessbastard posted:I missed one on our last round due to answering 'under no circumstances' to the question 'when is it appropriate for a supervisor to compliment a subordinate's clothing''
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Sep 6, 2023 19:19
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Trapick posted:"Hey that's a cool hat" is actually fine in nearly all circumstances. We all have to wear these deeply unfashionable bump caps so anyone saying that would be referred to HR for irony poisoning
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Sep 6, 2023 19:22
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Trapick posted:"Hey that's a cool hat" is actually fine in nearly all circumstances. Don't say that about a yamaka
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Sep 6, 2023 19:30
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There's a big difference between saying something like: "I like the pattern of that shirt" And: "You look good in that shirt" Or even worse: "You fill that shirt out nicely" The first is a remark about the item which is fine. The second and third are you remarking on the person's appearance which is bad.
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Sep 6, 2023 19:31
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Motronic posted:Congratulations! You have scored 90% on the Ant-Harassment Training for Supervisors and Managers - Non-State Specific: Pre-test Well maybe you shouldn't loving harass ants.
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Sep 6, 2023 19:38
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I just got assigned a "Security Awareness" training and the email has a bunch of ugly links in it etc, should flag it for phishing 
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Sep 6, 2023 19:50
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Motronic posted:I'm letting the videos run now, and apparently it's "loss of productivity"! Glad I know how wrong I was.
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Sep 6, 2023 20:14
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tactlessbastard posted:I missed one on our last round due to answering 'under no circumstances' to the question 'when is it appropriate for a supervisor to compliment a subordinate's clothing'' J&J had a corporate training (one of those "don't steal or give away our secrets" sorts of trainings) where they had the question posed as a thermometer with a 0-10 scale and the question vaguely worded as an "It's OK to do __________, how strongly do you agree?" They could've made it a true/false, because 1 through 9 were never the right answer and the computer was grading it as a test. "How strongly do you agree that corporate trade secrets are an important part of our culture and define our future as an organization?" "7." "Sorry, the answer was 10." That sort of thing. quote:lol how about “massive loving liability” Yeah seriously. Screw productivity on that one - you're getting sued.
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Sep 6, 2023 20:16
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Sundae posted:Yeah seriously. Screw productivity on that one - you're getting sued. Several of the question have been this type of missing the forest for the trees type stuff, with reasonably correct but wholly inadequate answers. It's like someone just randomly scrubbed through the videos and picked the thing they just said and wrote a question around that with no real understanding of the context or content. It's just amazing how poorly made most of these "trainings" are. And let's be serious......not a single person has ever changed their mind nor behavior because of any of these mandatory trainings. They are 100% checkbox items.
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Sep 6, 2023 20:21
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Motronic posted:They are 100% checkbox items. ❌ they have a purpose! That purpose is corporate rear end-covering
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Sep 6, 2023 20:26
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knox_harrington posted:❌ they have a purpose!
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Sep 6, 2023 20:27
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Upper management let the contract run out on our training system without securing a replacement, so now all training is "read this PDF/PPT and check a box saying you did so." This is one area where budget cuts are a good thing.
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Sep 6, 2023 20:39
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tactlessbastard posted:I missed one on our last round due to answering 'under no circumstances' to the question 'when is it appropriate for a supervisor to compliment a subordinate's clothing'' I would've got that wrong too but mostly because I would've stopped reading at the word "appropriate" and slammed that never button.
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Sep 6, 2023 22:06
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Lockback posted:Don't say that about a yamaka 
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Sep 6, 2023 23:40
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SpartanIvy posted:There's a big difference between saying something like: END OF UNIT QUIZ: Rank these comments by order of workplace propriety: (_) "I like the pattern of that shirt." (_) "You look good in that shirt." (_) "That shirt looks good on you." (_) "You fill that shirt out nicely." (_) "That shirt is a shirt." (_) "I like how the fit of your shirt distracts me from your rear end." (_) "That shirt doesn't match our dress code. Take it off now, in this unused conference room." (_) "That shirt would look good on the floor of a Motel 6." Sorry, but the correct answer was MySQL Error 23109; Container Does Not Exist. Yes, the radio buttons are intentional.
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Sep 6, 2023 23:55
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AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:Thats what he's saying. HR is getting a checkbox that they had people do the mandatory rear end-covering training checked. I've had to do Anti Money Laundering training before and over half of the questions on the final test took the form of "What year was [specific law/regulation] passed" or "What specific law/regulation was passed in [year]". You know. Questions that are absolutely useless for determining whether people have learned how to recognize suspicious behavior, and therefore actually do anything to help prevent money laundering, but are fine for ticking the "Your company must implement an AML training program and apply it annually" regulatory checkbox.
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Sep 7, 2023 00:00
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Working at a financial institution I have like 25-30 compliance training courses I have to take every year. Thankfully they started letting us test out of them. I’m an IT guy but I guess it’s very important I know about terrorist financing and money laundering.
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Sep 7, 2023 00:07
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skipdogg posted:Working at a financial institution I have like 25-30 compliance training courses I have to take every year. Thankfully they started letting us test out of them. It kinda is as people like to get around those regulations and the idea is at whatever level you should recognize whats going on. I had a customer service rep ask me, in Slack, if I would be able to help because a sales guy asked to setup a VPN for a client in Syria (which is country you cannot do business with/in due to executive order). I had to tell the service dude that, no, I did not feel like breaking federal law today and that could they please refrain from asking me somewhere like Slack where everything is written down and subject to a subpeona? (Also, I am not loving setting up a private VPN for a client, what software company is doing that??)
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Sep 7, 2023 00:28
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priznat posted:I just got assigned a "Security Awareness" training and the email has a bunch of ugly links in it etc, should flag it for phishing Every email your work sends you is in a sense, phishing
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Sep 7, 2023 02:38
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skipdogg posted:Working at a financial institution I have like 25-30 compliance training courses I have to take every year. Thankfully they started letting us test out of them. you'd be impressed at how stupid people with purchase authority can be
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Sep 7, 2023 02:55
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Renegret posted:How many times can I mention that I'd love to ctrl+x a C level before I get fired? 
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Sep 7, 2023 03:27
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Aww, the director of our department has a heart after all. Me: "Hey, we have a 9AM 1-on-1 tomorrow. Is that in-person or on phone?" Director: "I guess depends. Are you on site?" Me: "Yes, but what time depends on this meeting. If you want 9AM in-person, I catch the 6:30 bus to be there on time. If you don't, I call you from the 9AM bus." Director: "Why not catch something in between those?" Me: "There aren't any. 5:50, 6:30, 9:00. That's all that exists on my line." Director: "How long would you be at work before the meeting on that 6:30?" Me: "It'd get me there 7:15ish." Director: "That is ridiculous. Call me from the bus. What a rubbish bus route." Me: 
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Sep 7, 2023 03:53
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Sundae posted:END OF UNIT QUIZ: Rank these comments by order of workplace propriety: ( ) Nice shirt. Did you get a free bowl of soup with that shirt? Looks good on you though
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Sep 7, 2023 04:01
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skipdogg posted:Working at a financial institution I have like 25-30 compliance training courses I have to take every year. Thankfully they started letting us test out of them. My favorite was the "Know Your Customer" course that's clearly intended for tellers because it's all about recognizing patterns in how the customer deposits money or transfers money to others. Meanwhile I was in loss forecasting that has absolutely nothing to do with deposits or transfers and is about as far away from customers as you can get. Now my favorite is the "Workplace Violence" course that tells you to hide if your coworker's estranged husband comes to the office with a gun. Really makes me glad to be back in the office.
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Sep 7, 2023 04:39
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Deadite posted:My favorite was the "Know Your Customer" course that's clearly intended for tellers because it's all about recognizing patterns in how the customer deposits money or transfers money to others. Lol I worked treasury back office at a bank hedging mortgage servicing rights and other stuff and I remember doing those trainings and being like uh there's like 3 people between me and a customer.
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Sep 7, 2023 05:43
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Sundae posted:END OF UNIT QUIZ: Rank these comments by order of workplace propriety: We did have a contractor once tell an employee he really liked her finger nails. He then did go on to elaborate that he’d really like to see them dug into his back.
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Sep 7, 2023 05:49
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tactlessbastard posted:We did have a contractor once tell an employee he really liked her finger nails. He then did go on to elaborate that he’d really like to see them dug into his back. I hope he ended up fired/blacklisted like a visiting vendor technician did at our site after he commented to one of our male operators that the only time [female engineer on my team] should open her mouth is to put a dick in it. We kicked him off company property instantly, informed his manager, and told our biz rep with them that unless they wanted to lose our entire contract, the dude never gets sent to our site again. (Alternative acceptable answer: He turns around to walk away and she leaves a nasty scar on his back because she's actually a werewolf. I'd accept that too.)
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Sep 7, 2023 05:50
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pseudanonymous posted:Lol I worked treasury back office at a bank hedging mortgage servicing rights and other stuff and I remember doing those trainings and being like uh there's like 3 people between me and a customer. I get to do them too and none of my customers even handle cash I don’t think? The bulk of them are getting like 5-7 figure wires or ACHs. The most annoying part of all of these trainings is that the dates/timelines for reporting or doing whatever are just totally arbitrary and random. Some poo poo is like 3 days, some is 90, some is due by a specific day for the whole prior year. I’ve been doing them all for a decade and still have to look up reporting timelines. Meanwhile I’ve never handled (or seen) any actual bank cash, or done a SAR or CTR, and it’s been ~7 years since I’ve dealt with a fraud alert.
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Sep 7, 2023 05:56
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Sundae posted:I hope he ended up fired/blacklisted like a visiting vendor technician did at our site after he commented to one of our male operators that the only time [female engineer on my team] should open her mouth is to put a dick in it. We kicked him off company property instantly, informed his manager, and told our biz rep with them that unless they wanted to lose our entire contract, the dude never gets sent to our site again.
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Sep 7, 2023 11:38
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Yeah the finance/AML training is a pain because it comes up every year and sometimes has specific rule codes in it that you're just not going to know. We used to make contractors do it as well. Love to burn that day rate in clicking buttons. And there's *always* an answer that makes no sense, the best was that "no, terrorist financiers do not disguise the source of funds" err yeah pretty sure they do? Also the examples that all assume you get phoned up by randos saying it's very important to "transfer this money to Russia but don't tell anyone and make it look like it was someone else, is this suspicious y/n?" Anyway, did someone say compliance training???? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtTYa4HbzLQ
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Sep 7, 2023 12:56
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They updated ours a couple of years ago to make open references to Ozark.
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Sep 7, 2023 13:08
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I just did a training where it was very broad and generic but they got into like extreme minutia on the final quiz. Like, you just spent two hours on ‘err on the side of caution, obey the law’, the right answer on the first question probably shouldn’t be ‘actually, if you think about it, its not technically a crime.’
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Sep 7, 2023 13:22
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in a well actually posted:Like, you just spent two hours on ‘err on the side of caution, obey the law’, the right answer on the first question probably shouldn’t be ‘actually, if you think about it, its not technically a crime.’ Yeah, HR really hosed up. This part is supposed to be done verbally so there's no trail that can come up during discovery
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Sep 7, 2023 13:41
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Every time I have to do my annual security training (and I have to do a lot of it) I always fail the pre-tests because I'm way stricter about security than the test and therefore I am wrong. No, I don't give a poo poo about what I'm allowed to say over social media. I don't have any public social media.
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Sep 7, 2023 15:48
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Oh mine is genuinely "dont say anything, don't see anything, don't hear anything" so choosing the most draconian answer is always correct. Can I post to social media? Only with legal affairs permission.
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Sep 7, 2023 16:20
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In honor of cybersecurity awareness month, we just got an email sign up for a phishing awareness campaign. You get prizes for reporting phishing emails and can redeem for small prizes. I reported the email as a phish.
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Sep 7, 2023 16:40
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:Anyway, did someone say compliance training???? I’ve done that.
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Sep 7, 2023 16:49
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