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That sounds awesome. There are one or two places that are brewery/restaurant that have areas for kids to run around. Unfortunately, it becomes a free for all. Luckily their beer and food are meh at best so we don't go. Also, the It's not the stork book is an excellent recommendation. It came today and flipping through it is exactly what I wanted.
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Sep 10, 2023 23:21
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marchantia posted:I loved/am loving 3-4 years much more than 1-2. My kid is around 4.5 now and definitely has big opinions and boundary pushing but she makes jokes and tells stories and has such an imagination. There are pros and cons to every age and stage but I just don't want people to dread their kids getting older because it's a lot of fun too! I'm really hoping this will be the case for us. My child is 2y3mo and she's run full on into the stage of being very physically capable but not able to manage frustrations yet, big feelings and everything, and is just constantly melting down over literally everything right now. I feel really bad for her.
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Sep 10, 2023 23:43
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CherryCola posted:So this brewery near us does a monthly family day with kiddie pools and toys in their big green space, free snocones and some dude playing interactive kid songs. It’s a great excuse for parents to drink in the shade while just generally making sure their kids don’t grievously injure themselves or anyone else. I am so jealous. We used to have a place like this called Agrarian Brewing out on a hops farm. They sold their own beer and pizza, and they had a playground and picnic tables and the occasional kiddie pool. We would meet all our parent friends out there and drink beer and chat while the kids ran around and had the time of their life. Then they had to close because of some sort of regulation regarding their porch area and they couldn't afford to fix it so they shut down. I'll miss that place forever. 
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Sep 11, 2023 01:35
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For those of you with kids in daycare: have any of you ever used a daycare teacher as a babysitter? I've seen conflicting views on whether this is a good or bad idea. Good because they already know your kids and the parents already know the teacher/sitter. Bad because if for whatever reason there is a dispute (pay or otherwise) between parents and the teacher/sitter then it'd be really awkward at daycare going forward. We're looking to find a good babysitter and have no idea where else to look to find someone we know is reliable.
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Sep 11, 2023 18:30
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Mind_Taker posted:For those of you with kids in daycare: have any of you ever used a daycare teacher as a babysitter? imo good idea and if you should probably talk money beforehand to avoid any disputes if you're that worried. It's a very normal thing to do and is extremely common.
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Sep 11, 2023 18:39
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We used daycare teachers for babysitters and it was great.
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Sep 11, 2023 18:39
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Our kiddo's first babysitter was one of his teachers from daycare and it went great every time we had to use her.
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Sep 11, 2023 19:58
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Mind_Taker posted:For those of you with kids in daycare: have any of you ever used a daycare teacher as a babysitter? I mean yeah those are the pros and cons. If you plan on paying them on time and are clear on when you need them, etc, it can be great.
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Sep 11, 2023 20:23
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We've never used a babysitter as my in-laws live with us, but I know many people from our preschool that have used teachers as babysitters and they all love it.
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Sep 11, 2023 20:25
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I think my daycare actually has a rule against it iirc, so you may want to check
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Sep 11, 2023 22:55
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Not every experience is a learning experience but goddamn if I don‘t try and twist it into one.
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Sep 11, 2023 23:10
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Ours publishes a list of teachers who do babysitting on the side and they've been great.
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Sep 11, 2023 23:31
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Thanks everyone. I spoke to the director today and they are fine with their teachers babysitting as long as we sign a waiver. Looking forward to date nights with my wife again!
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Sep 11, 2023 23:39
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Super early and still need to confirm (and wait for it to cook a little longer before telling non-internet strangers) but the pee on a stick pregnancy tests are telling us we’re having a 2nd kiddo. Excited and nervous. The first kid would be 3.5 when this one shows up, hopefully we can be finished with potty training/sleep training then. I know there will be regressions but it will be nice to not have to do that stuff simultaneously. Chinese calendar predicts a girl (and was correct about the boy last time) so we will see.
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Sep 12, 2023 14:40
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We have a 9 week old and my wife is doing the opposite of this threads title of this thread and obsessively troubleshooting our baby. The amount of money and time she's spending on development and sleep training materials is accelerating and it seems to be having a direct correlation to her happiness levels.  If I don't really study in depth the next book, article or online course she's found about why baby's sleep cycle is 90 minutes instead of 120 then I'm liable to be at fault for the baby's lack of a defined schedule.
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Sep 12, 2023 16:22
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Mr Lanternfly posted:We have a 9 week old and my wife is doing the opposite of this threads title of this thread and obsessively troubleshooting our baby. The amount of money and time she's spending on development and sleep training materials is accelerating and it seems to be having a direct correlation to her happiness levels. You should talk to your wife about getting screened for PPD/PPA.
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Sep 12, 2023 16:36
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sheri posted:You should talk to your wife about getting screened for PPD/PPA. I was thinking the same thing. We went through PPA and it really sneaks up on you. Plus, it's a newer diagnosis so older school doctors may not be as aware.
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Sep 12, 2023 16:39
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We’ve just had the confirmation that our 11 year old has inattention ADHD, just waiting on the ‘tism test to come back also. She has autistic traits, but whether or not she has it severe enough to have the diagnosis we’ll soon see. This doctor was great, the previous one was a total disaster and he was taken off dealing with patients. Thankfully her school are super supportive, and we have no qualms about medicating. I mean, she’s not going to get autism if she’s already got it. It’s nice to have an official diagnosis, as my wife and I have struggled to parent her for the last 11 years, and constantly compared her to others wondering why they don’t struggle in the same way we do. gently caress me, kids are hard. They do not teach you about any of this poo poo. There’s the baby in the car seat, off you trot.
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Sep 12, 2023 17:15
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You absolutely cannot sleep train a 9 week old baby. You can try around 6 months old. Just let tiny baby sleep as much as it wants, whenever it wants.
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Sep 12, 2023 17:28
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Oodles posted:We’ve just had the confirmation that our 11 year old has inattention ADHD, just waiting on the ‘tism test to come back also. She has autistic traits, but whether or not she has it severe enough to have the diagnosis we’ll soon see. I have that kind of adhd as well, so do some of my friends kids and a few things: 1) Things will get better. Medication and having an idea what the problem is has been so, so helpful for my friends and it's a joy to see the kids feeling better about themselves and handling poo poo in a way they previously couldn't. It's been night and day at the playground. 2) It's uh, extremely highly inheritable. To the point where after I got diagnosed (in my mid thirties, after some initial denial on my part) my mom and sister also re-examined their behaviors and got diagnoses. And it was really fuckin' obvious in retrospect lol. So one or both of you may want to take some tests and think about your lives and maybe talk to a psychiatrist. I am extremely grateful that I know what's going on in my brain now and actually have a medicated state to compare it to. 3) to the above, I have a three year old and yeah I'm keeping an eye out.
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Sep 12, 2023 17:41
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I am late to TV chat but I have to give ups to Frog and Toad on Apple TV. it's like a 2/10 on the energy scale and so fuckin chill. Also in Apple TV, the snoopy shows are pretty good too!
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Sep 12, 2023 17:41
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Just had Vorksdottir2 this past Sunday. Man had we forgotten everything about how babies work, from fullness signs to how to swaddle. Added fun was I tested positive for covid for the first time (and upon testing, wife already was) about 24 hours before my wife went into labor. At least ime allowed in the hospital room, just have to be masked at all times and can't leave the room.
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Sep 12, 2023 17:43
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Benagain posted:2) It's uh, extremely highly inheritable. Yea, once we started this process you really do take a hard look at yourselves and your own parents. Going through the ADHD booklet, my wife said “this is pretty much me” (and her father).
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Sep 12, 2023 17:51
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Yeah, my mom got diagnosed in her sixties and it led to me and my four siblings thinking about ourselves lol. I know at least three of us (including yours truly) have since also been diagnosed and we'll see about my kids. I was actually just discussing with my psych about when I can go back on meds, but since I'm breastfeeding the baby, on leave still, and can more or less cope, we're going to revisit. Also I'm sure it's something to do with how they make appointments available, but I had a weird experience trying to get an eye screening scheduled for the almost 2 year old. Originally the earliest appointment available was January, but I got a notice last night a spot off the wait list opened up for Friday. I go to schedule it and it disappeared. I assume someone else just nabbed it, but I thought maybe it'll show up if I try to schedule as a new appointment. It didn't but there were a bunch of appointments in October and December that weren't there before. 
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Sep 12, 2023 18:03
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To be a nap master you must foresee disaster About to drop their stuffie? Gotta get to it faster
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Sep 12, 2023 18:49
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My kid (25 months) has just decided to stop sleeping again. Shes never been a great sleeper but now she fights us at bedtime, wakes up at night, and wont settle back down. Its started ever since we pulled the pacifier 3 weeks ago. Now she does a million curtain calls, asking for water, a diaper change, etc before she'll sleep. And if she wakes up in the middle night wont go back to sleep. Im so drat tired, ready to give in on the pacifier soon.
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Sep 12, 2023 18:53
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BaseballPCHiker posted:My kid (25 months) has just decided to stop sleeping again. Shes never been a great sleeper but now she fights us at bedtime, wakes up at night, and wont settle back down. We had this start at 27 months and now we’re at 33 months and it has continued. We stopped the pacifier at 24~ months when he wasn’t interested anymore. After 6 months of this I physically can’t do the middle of the night wake ups anymore so last night we told him he gets one additional Tuck In and then he’s on his own. He woke up at midnight and I guided him back to bed and he conked out quickly. Then he woke up at 4 and cried until we got him up at 7. The second he sees you at 7 he’s perfectly fine and starts jabbering about random topics, as though he hasn’t just been crying for three hours. He has a Hatch sleep alarm that turns green exactly at 7 and he understands that when it’s red it’s bedtime and when it’s green it’s wake up time. He just lost the self soothing skill to put himself back to bed, and if I keep putting him back 3-4 times a night he won’t regain it. I feel absolutely heartless to deploy this “cry it out” method on a nearly 3 year old, it was much easier to do it when he was 6 months.
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Sep 12, 2023 18:58
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Well thats a gut punch. We tried one night of sleep training and she just screamed for 2 hours before we gave up and settled her down again by holder her for an hour. I need this to stop before baby #2 comes in January. Im so sick of all these "sleep regressions".
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Sep 12, 2023 19:01
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BaseballPCHiker posted:Well thats a gut punch. If you have to hold her for an hour to calm her down then she’s depending on you for comfort and you have to start dialing it back. We weren’t at holding level of attachment but we absolutely have to be in the room for the kid to sleep. We talked to a sleep professional and they had some suggestions: 1. Make a sleep plan and have a family meeting. We made a science fair type poster board to explain the bedtime process. If we get pushback we point to the chart “oh the chart says it’s Jammie’s first, then snack, then brush teeth”. “Chart says two books, no iPad”. This has helped a lot. 2. Cry it out method can work but sucks for everyone. 3. Gentler methods are The Chair Method and The Excuse Me Method. Chair method - start by holding them, reduce the amount of time you hold and switch to chair right by the bed. Maybe you could rub their back or hold their hand, then dial that back. Then move the chair further. Then move the chair to the doorway. Then move the chair outside the door. Now you’re done. Excuse me method - similar, but if the kid wants you there to comfort them while they fall asleep, just keep getting up and leaving. Say “oh I’ll be right back, you stay in bed” then come back 30 seconds later. Praise them if they stay and stay laying down. Repeat, extend time. We tried both those methods but weren’t terribly consistent or successful so now we’re just going with cry it out. I’m also trying to tire the kid out a hell of a lot more. We’re running laps around the neighborhood at night, reducing nap time, waking up earlier. Reducing screen time.
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Sep 12, 2023 19:47
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Oodles posted:Yea, once we started this process you really do take a hard look at yourselves and your own parents. Ladies always have it tougher because it's only recently that there started to be widespead acknowledgement that they have it to they just usually present differently.Have your wife check out https://www.additudemag.com/ for some basics including tests, recommendations, articles, etc. and other helpful stuff for both your kid and her. YMMV but I found the book The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD by Melissa Orlov very useful in identifying a lot of common patterns that I fell into with my wife. Here's a link to the ADHD thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4020974&perpage=40&noseen=1
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Sep 12, 2023 19:59
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Sleep sucks. It's been so varied over the years. Currently the situation is as best as it's been for us, which is that at bedtime I lay down with our near-3 and near-5 year olds in the same (twin!) bed and I basically badger them to go to sleep for the next 1.5-2 hours. Once asleep I move the younger sibling to her own bed and the elder sibling stays in his for 4-5 hours until he wakes in the middle of the night, then comes to our bed (scared to be alone), at which point I'm too tired to do anything about it and he sleeps there. Occasionally the younger also wakes up, and I move her back to the elder's bed until she falls asleep again. Any given morning any of us could wake in any combination of beds. In the next month or so we're going to move those two into a single, larger room, in hopes that somehow that helps? Also we need the nursery space again. Edit: I think most successful methods of sleep training involve some kind of exponential back off. Like you check on the kiddo every 1, 5, 10, 15, 30, 60, etc. minutes to reassure them increasing the amount of time you wait between checks. Or you exponentially increase your distance from their bed, stuff like that. When our oldest was two that worked for a while. Then he started having night terrors, and later just waking up scared. Now he can ninja himself down into our bed without my waking up--at some point I realize he's kicking me and wonder how he got there. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Sep 12, 2023 |
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Sep 12, 2023 20:06
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Mr Lanternfly posted:We have a 9 week old and my wife is doing the opposite of this threads title of this thread and obsessively troubleshooting our baby. The amount of money and time she's spending on development and sleep training materials is accelerating and it seems to be having a direct correlation to her happiness levels. Gonna jump on this bandwagon, get her screened for PPA/PPD. This kind of behavior is extremely, extremely common don't worry but also you shouldn't have to live with it without some kind of treatment. My wife had some PPA/PPD for about the first 4 months. We started/completed sleep training around 12-16 weeks (baby already slept really well, not much to train) 9 weeks is way too soon. I know it's easy advice to ignore, but "every baby is different" just like I have some coworkers who spend all day talking about football, and some who like D&D/video games, others talk about their hair and nails all day everyone is different it starts even before birth One last piece of advice is, if you and your wife disagree on something, it's totally ok to call the advice nurse at your local hospital as the tie breaker. We did this proably 10+ times in the first four months. They are very helpful and try not to take sides but generally their response is "yeah that's pretty normal, give us a call back if it gets to X severity" where X is usually a lot more than you'd think My baby's sleep cycle was about 35-45 minutes for the first 9 weeks until their stomach got bigger Hadlock fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Sep 12, 2023 |
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Sep 12, 2023 20:53
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Y’know what? gently caress it, you can all have a frozen chocolate waffle for an after-school snack, we’ll get dinner after your sister’s dance class. I’m solo parenting at the moment, wife is in union negotiation meetings.
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Sep 12, 2023 22:11
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devmd01 posted:Y’know what? gently caress it, you can all have a frozen chocolate waffle for an after-school snack, we’ll get dinner after your sister’s dance class. ...will you be my dad?
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Sep 12, 2023 23:23
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Sleep stuff never ends. My 7 year old still needs one of us to sit with them while they fall asleep but once they’re asleep they sleep so heavily that they can’t wake up to use the bathroom. My take is that time is long. They won’t always want us to sit with them. They also won’t always have trouble not waking up in the middle of the night. So I’m just gonna relax and ride the wave. Fake edit: as I was typing this, they rolled over and hugged me and said “dad I love you so much” 
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Sep 13, 2023 01:18
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My son had a million questions about dying today. Do your eyes close? Does your mouth close? Can you still talk? Do only adults die? What happens if you die when you're driving? What happens if a kid dies when his mom and dad are driving a car? What do you do with a person when they die? I don't want to be buried in the ground. What happens if you die outside with the animals and no one is around? My heart goes out to my boy. 5 year old's first existential crisis.
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Sep 13, 2023 02:55
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BaseballPCHiker posted:Well thats a gut punch. We stopped the pacifier cold turkey at 22 months. At 25 months he can now get to sleep by himself (and I also think starting daycare and their nap routine helped him get to there.) For a very long time I would need to be patting his back to get him to sleep and that has finally stopped. He now goes to sleep holding/chewing on his toothbrush. He will roll over, chew chew chew, take it out of his mouth, then roll back on his stomach to get into sleep position (one leg bent, one armed chicken winged like daddy), and then repeat this cycle until he doesn't roll back again. Probably bad long term because we're going through toothbrushes like a motherfucker but it is what works right now. In other "I'm crying in my car outside work" moments, these daycare illnesses just won't stop. It seemed after two weeks he stopped crying getting dropped off, but now that he's misses so much time (hasn't been there Monday through Friday in a month) that the crying at drop-off has begun and hasn't stopped. The constant medicine is also just torture for him. We switched to a little infant syringe because he would refuse to open his mouth for the little medicine cup. They're ruining his appetite, he's refusing to eat, just miserable all the time.
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Sep 13, 2023 03:14
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killer crane posted:My son had a million questions about dying today. Do your eyes close? Does your mouth close? Can you still talk? Do only adults die? What happens if you die when you're driving? What happens if a kid dies when his mom and dad are driving a car? What do you do with a person when they die? I don't want to be buried in the ground. What happens if you die outside with the animals and no one is around? My daughter was very unimpressed with what happens if you die while driving a car. Yeah you just kinda... gradually slow to a stop and now somebody has to get your body out of a car. Sorry. Were you hoping for an explosive catastrophe?
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Sep 13, 2023 03:37
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killer crane posted:My son had a million questions about dying today. Do your eyes close? Does your mouth close? Can you still talk? Do only adults die? What happens if you die when you're driving? What happens if a kid dies when his mom and dad are driving a car? What do you do with a person when they die? I don't want to be buried in the ground. What happens if you die outside with the animals and no one is around? My son has talked to my Mom a lot about dying because she's a Grandma and one of his friend's Grandmas died. She's good about talking with him about it. When I went to change his cgm sensor, he got upset and said he hated it, didn't want it, it was awful, etc. I mean, it IS, you're basically staple gunning it onto his leg. So I explained that when his sugar goes low, we need to fix it, and I don't know he's low without the sensor. And that if he goes too low, he'd die. So he asked "And then?" and I replied "And then you don't come back." The look on his face as he realized his own mortality was brutal. I didn't want him to lose that innocence at 5, but here we are.
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Sep 13, 2023 04:05
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Yeah, my kids (5 and almost 3) have been wrestling with this in fits and starts since my mom died at the end of March. The 5 year old and she were especially close, and my daughter basically decided my mom's funeral arrangements with her in the hospital a couple of days before she died. My mom always wanted to be cremated, but didn't care too much what happened to the ashes (spread somewhere nice, basically), but my daughter insisted that they be buried in our back yard so that she could visit.
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Sep 13, 2023 04:25
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