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GoutPatrol posted:In other "I'm crying in my car outside work" moments, these daycare illnesses just won't stop. It seemed after two weeks he stopped crying getting dropped off, but now that he's misses so much time (hasn't been there Monday through Friday in a month) that the crying at drop-off has begun and hasn't stopped. The constant medicine is also just torture for him. We switched to a little infant syringe because he would refuse to open his mouth for the little medicine cup. They're ruining his appetite, he's refusing to eat, just miserable all the time. Ugh the daycare illnesses suck so bad. Our first year was last year and we've essentially been sick off and on all year since. I'm usually the last to get it so at least either my wife or myself is well enough to keep the ship sailing. Hoping thats something we dont go through with kid #2 too!
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Sep 13, 2023 13:58
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BaseballPCHiker posted:
lol to be fair in my experience it hasn’t been as bad as the first, but still, lol
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Sep 13, 2023 14:40
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BaseballPCHiker posted:Hoping thats something we dont go through with kid #2 too! lol, indeed.
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Sep 13, 2023 14:48
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9 week old just started laughing back when I laughed at him. He was only doing smiles up until today. I’m all  but also tear eyed
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Sep 13, 2023 15:40
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Hi Thread. Dealing with some drama with a decision the wife and I made and my extended family. Am I the jerk in this scenario: Cousin and his wife married in September. Used to be close with this cousin but he dropped off the earth for two decades so far. They invited us to their adults-only/no-kids wedding and we turned it down. Got two little ones at home and didn't want to travel across the country, find a babysitter in a wholly different town, and attend a wedding. My whole family, mom and sister included, are "extremely disappointed?" They're bringing it up every phone conversation. I live 900 miles away. They're crazy, right? I wanted to go, told my cousin this, but turned down an RSVP and said why in a phone call that took 5 minutes and was the first time I heard his voice in 10 years. Family is blaming my wife. Blaming me. Blaming my inlaws who nanny for us. They're guilting me now for not wanting to attend my grandmother's 92nd birthday bash with just her grandchildren, which means I go bachelor and leave a 3 year old and a 1yr old with the wife for two whole days. The 1yr old still doesn't sleep through the night, and the 3yr old doesn't sleep without me. I just don't know why I'm the bad guy if they're setting the conditions that leave me out of things. We are parenting two tykes. Did they forget what that means?!
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Sep 13, 2023 17:56
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A Bad King posted:Am I the jerk in this scenario: A Bad King posted:They're guilting me now for not wanting to attend my grandmother's 92nd birthday bash with just her grandchildren,
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Sep 13, 2023 18:02
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lol I love wedding drama. Your cousin and wife can get hosed. Your family can get hosed. If your presence actually mattered that much they would've opened up the invite to your kids, childless wedding be damned.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:09
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Throw an all kids allowed wedding to balance it out
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Sep 13, 2023 18:15
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A cousin's wedding once was in the middle of nowhere, a 9 hour drive away and closest airport was 3 hours away. We basically said, very nicely, we don't have a babysitter who we're comfortable leaving kiddo with for that long. That means if he can't go, then we can't go. Our 3 year old then got invited to an adult only wedding, everything was perfect, there were no problems, everybody was happy and the wedding was amazing. It's not hard when the bride and groom aren't controlling assholes. e: I promise, when a 3 year old rips up the dance floor, it's always a hit. e2: and yeah, the distance alone should make it a no fault denial. A 900 mile trip is expensive and disruptive and not everybody has the luxury to just upend their life like that. We've RSVPed no over less. Renegret fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 18:16
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Cousins no-kids wedding? You’re not a dick. I have no cousins, but I don’t even think my wife was invited to her cousins weddings. Grandma should be happy to have her grandkids there, unless your parents are playing a stupid game.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:16
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Counterpoint, one of my most embarrassing childhood memories is when we flew to Texas from Michigan to my older cousins bar mitzvah and I ate too much, ran into my hotel room to puke, ran nose first into a window and then puked on the floor and nosebled at the same time. So, you know, don't deprive your kids of that little chestnut..
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Sep 13, 2023 18:17
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A Bad King posted:Hi Thread. Dealing with some drama with a decision the wife and I made and my extended family. Not a jerk. They are allowed to be disappointed and have feelings about your decision, and it's not your job to manage their feelings. If it continues to come up, I would just say something like "I know you're disappointed but the decision has been made. I'm not going to talk about it any longer" Edit: And yes, they absolutely forgot what parenting two young children is like. My mom and dad say some of the most off the wall things about how they did things when my sister and I were little and I know that they are forgetting. Aging brains man.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:24
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sheri posted:Edit: And yes, they absolutely forgot what parenting two young children is like. My kids are 5 and 7, and I forget half the things we did when they were little (you know... like a year ago...). I don't trust my parents' recollection for poo poo.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:45
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We traveled to a child-free wedding last year, but if it hadn’t happened that exact weekend (which allowed my in-laws to visit us for our son’s birthday and then watch our son), it would have been impossible. The people who don’t have to make the sacrifices or face the consequences shouldn’t have any influence over your decisions.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:56
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What the hell makes a wedding "adult only"? Are they going to be loving during the ceremony or something?
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Sep 13, 2023 19:14
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Farquar posted:What the hell makes a wedding "adult only"? Are they going to be loving during the ceremony or something? I'd never heard of it until a few years ago. It just means no kid activities or anything are planned imo.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:20
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It's just no kids invited because kids are loving annoying and don't know how to conduct themselves. I sorta get it since kids are....annoying, and don't know how to conduct themselves. But as usual with anything wedding related, people love to take it too far and become insane control freaks, then won't allow 17 year olds in and poo poo like that. I think there's also an argument that the parents will also pay more attention to the kid than the bride and groom, which, narcissism aside, is a double edged sword since you have to pay close attention to your kid to keep them in line anyway. Personally I see both sides of the argument. But if you're not allowing kids, then you have to make a choice between the possibility of people with kids not being able to go, or making exceptions on a case by case basis. That's the reasonable way to do it but for some reason there's nothing reasonable about anything wedding related. Renegret fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 19:43
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Farquar posted:What the hell makes a wedding "adult only"? Are they going to be loving during the ceremony or something? Personally I think having a child-free wedding is a bit distasteful. But if there's no nieces/nephews among your immediate family then perhaps it makes sense. Problems arise when there are though.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:44
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I used to consider myself child free (not in like a crazy Reddit way, just didn’t really care for children). We still allowed kids at our wedding and it was annoying as gently caress because one kid was playing their gameboy at max volume. I blame the parents though for not turning that poo poo down.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:47
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Tired: No kid wedding. Wired: No gamer wedding.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:49
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It's their wedding so they can decide if they want children there or not. But they also shouldn't whine and complain if a lot of parents decide not to attend.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:09
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ExcessBLarg! posted:The bride/groom might have a large extended family with lots of kids that they feel obligated to invite, which then limits the number of non-family/friends/acquaintences/etc. that they actually want to invite. Having a child-free wedding means you can cut your extended family list quite a bit--even further with expected "no" RSVPs. When we were planning our wedding - my mother-in-law has nine siblings, father-in-law has three, they all have adult children, many of whom have children. My side isn't that small either. It gets into this mess where if you invite some relatives, you have to invite every member of their family and you get over 200 people before you even get to friends. And most won't even come, but you have to factor a percentage of them in just in case. And you aren't allowed to invite people in waves. I feel the same way with plus ones - if I have to add 1-4 people to every guest I have to account for their kids or their new SO MAYBE coming, it means I can't invite almost anyone. I wouldn't have cared if someone privately saw a limited invitation and asked to add more people, but doing it by default screws up the count really badly and hurts the feelings of people you can't invite. The pandemic happened and we ended up with a tiny ceremony in a 100+ person venue, so these issues went out the window. My kids nieces/nephew were the best part of my wedding - no one enjoyed it more than them. But we had a very chill fiesta-themed wedding.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:10
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No kids weddings are stupid as poo poo. Don’t feel bad for not going.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:36
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I think that the shift away from weekly attendance at religious services and many churches taking a more relaxed ‘come as you’re comfortable’ approach means that a lot of kids aren’t used to sitting through a (sometimes boring, not kid focused) ceremony while dressed up. I like the sitter on site, only older kids at the ceremony, and all ages reception approach.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:52
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We had a no kids wedding but made an exception for my wife's siblings kids (3 total) since they were traveling 900 miles & had flower girl / ring bear duties Had some other family member asked for an exemption we probably would have granted it The ring bear was... 3? His parents hired a babysitter and then had the babysitter take him home before dinner started as his mom had maid of honor duties and was a nightmare to deal with The other two kids were like 8 and 12 and are pretty quiet/chill If you hadn't heard from your cousin in a decade and they're telling you no kids I wouldn't leave any sleep over telling them no Edit: also we were on a pretty tight budget, my wife has a massive family here so we ended up with 120 people and the way the math works out not only do you have extra plates of food but extra table rental, extra staff, extra travel and per diem costs etc etc it adds up early fast Hadlock fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 21:12
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Hadlock posted:The ring bear was... 3? That's practically an adult bear
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Sep 13, 2023 21:53
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A Bad King posted:Hi Thread. Dealing with some drama with a decision the wife and I made and my extended family. OP how often do your mother and sister see you?How often do you see your in-laws? Seems like this may be a manifestation of Family FOMO with their brother/son. This happened to me a bit. My in-laws had cookouts, put up for family vacations, thought of fun day trip ideas, etc. (and my wife is super close to her mom & sister) so of course we did a ton together. Well my side is very passive aggressive so instead of actually trying to do more, they focused on the negative-side of criticizing me when I couldn’t do things no matter what the excuse, because basically I spend more time with the more interesting people…oops Crazyweasel fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 22:24
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Yeah, definitely not the jerk. My husband's cousin had a child free wedding last year in the city where we all live, which we didn't realize was child free until the day rsvps were due. We weren't that jazzed to go tbh so it made an easy excuse. My in-laws were over to babysit that day and my MIL suggested we just bring the baby (who would have been about 1 at the time of the wedding iirc). That got a hard no from us lol.
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Sep 14, 2023 03:48
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Yeah, not a jerk. poo poo, when we got married we went on care.com and hired a pair of babysitters for $400 or whatever to watch the kids on premises for anyone who chose to use it. One family did and loved it, the one couple kept their baby with them, and the other kids were old enough to just chill out and have a good time. Everyone was happy, worked great. Declaring no kids and also getting upset about it is dumb and petty. And they've totally forgotten. Hell, no wedding involved my Mom kept thinking I was over reacting, over stating, etc, and then they came for a week to help while my wife traveled for work. Two days in she straight up admitted I was right. They're five and two. It's... a lot. Hell, I'm going to miss seeing some friends for the first time in a while because the timing isn't going to work when they're free and I'm not comfortable leaving the 5yo with grandparents super long because we're all playing one hell of a game of chicken with his goddamn pancreas.
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Sep 14, 2023 04:27
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My boy asked when he can have his own computer like dad. When he becomes a teenager? When he's an adult? He already has a phone. I said I dunno, what kind of computer do you want? A laptop like moms, or a real desktop computer like I have (old school tower, I hate using laptops and mobiles)? He wants a real computer like dad.
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Sep 14, 2023 12:40
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I had an Alienware desktop I didn't need anymore because I bought a better one for my contracting work. Its now the family PC hooked up to our large tv to play PC games.
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Sep 14, 2023 13:14
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My kids use the family computer to play games sometimes. When they start needing it for homework in several years, I'll format one of the old PCs I have sitting in the basement for that purpose. I can't imagine them ever getting their own, though.
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Sep 14, 2023 14:30
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I've been on the internet too long and seen its depths to be comfortable to let them have unfettered internet access without being able to peek over their shoulder.
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Sep 14, 2023 15:23
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Farquar posted:What the hell makes a wedding "adult only"? Are they going to be loving during the ceremony or something? They had it at a winery, which requires it. Insane. Though I'm the only family as of now with non-adult kids. ExcessBLarg! posted:No. Grandma is in palliative care, so I wouldn't want to risk bringing a daycare-going toddler into the building. My sister wants to have some sort of birthday bash, where the grandkids rent a house and party with grandma. My sister is 42. I chalk it up to mania. If I don't come alone I'm a horrible brother. Crazyweasel posted:OP how often do your mother and sister see you?How often do you see your in-laws? This is a major component, but the wife and I agree that this is partially on them. My entire family lives on the east coast. Everyone is retired or not working full time. My sis wants me to attend palliative care grandmother's bday alone. She doesn't see why my wife is unwilling to spend 2-3 nights alone -- my wife is selfish or controlling, she says aloud. My wife asks if I can fly out and back for one night, sis huffs and puffs and throws a fit. Anyways, thanks thread. I needed a fifth eye on this. So far every external party agrees that we are not the jerks here, but every phone home I hear about it. Ugh.
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Sep 14, 2023 17:49
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Haven't seen the cousin in over 10 years? I'd just send a gift. We experienced tons of guilt tripping form our parents when we lived <2 hours drive from them, but oddly it's almost completely ceased once we moved 2500 miles away from them.
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Sep 14, 2023 23:21
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His Divine Shadow posted:My boy asked when he can have his own computer like dad. When he becomes a teenager? When he's an adult? He already has a phone. I got the hand me down 386 family computer from my dad when I started 6th grade and (found, and) taught myself BASIC on it. I now do computers for a living Computer touching is a good living; if he wants one, I'd encourage that and nurture it as much as possible, even if "his" computer lives in the kitchen or whatever I got to have the computer in my bedroom, this was back in the AOL era and I managed to get into all kinds of trouble on the early Internet. Probably put it somewhere slightly more public until they're 14 or so Apparently most kids getting into computer science these days only have access to a phone and they're completely worthless as employees as they don't understand computers. If you can get him hooked early that's a great step towards a very rewarding career
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Sep 14, 2023 23:31
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If you get them a computer. Make them research with a budget. It's a good learning experience.
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Sep 14, 2023 23:42
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Yeah please show your kid how to use a computer if you go for it. I work at a college Helpdesk and man there's a ton of younger folks that I help out that don't know how to do some computer stuff.
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Sep 15, 2023 00:22
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Make them solder their own individual components. When they can assemble a working computer, then they get a computer. After that, they have to work to pay for upgrades.
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Sep 15, 2023 00:30
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Brawnfire posted:Make them solder their own individual components. When they can assemble a working computer, then they get a computer. After that, they have to work to pay for upgrades. This right here please, I'm begging you.
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Sep 15, 2023 00:33
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