r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

I live in a really old house (converted to apartments at some point) and we have a terrifying little room in the basement directly under the porch that also appears to lock from the outside. I assume it was for werewolves or something. I haven't ever actually been in there because I don't think it has a light and also I assume it is filled with brown recluses.

It's a cold room. You would store stuff under there.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:46

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# ? May 14, 2024 23:49

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Bonster posted:

It's a cold room. You would store stuff under there.

Now it is brown recluse storage

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:15

RocketMermaid: Mar 30, 2004; My pronouns are She/Heir.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my wife to stop crying at Home Depot?

take that poo poo to lowe's, lady, you're fuckin up my home depot vibe

r/relationships: If it was a doppelganger I would understand

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:15

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Pookah posted:

Who puts a window in a coal cellar?

So u can eyeball how much coal is left

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:17

JackSplater: Nov 20, 2014; Metal Coat? It's already active?!

Maybe that's how they got coal from outside the house to inside? It's what people do with wood around here. Buy a bunch of wood, dump it in the basement through a small window, then once it's all down there you go down and stack it.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:27

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

RocketMermaid posted:

r/relationships: If it was a doppelganger I would understand

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:32

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

I live in a really old house (converted to apartments at some point) and we have a terrifying little room in the basement directly under the porch that also appears to lock from the outside. I assume it was for werewolves or something. I haven't ever actually been in there because I don't think it has a light and also I assume it is filled with brown recluses.

That's a coal cellar

Pookah posted:

We have a old, disused coal cellar under the front steps, and the door leads from the cellar into the basement. It's been boarded up for donkey's years, which is why I never noticed it. Whats really weird is that there is a glazed window in one wall of the coal cellar that opens onto a small side yard.
Who puts a window in a coal cellar?

That's where the coal got put into the coal cellar

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:45

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

JackSplater posted:

Maybe that's how they got coal from outside the house to inside? It's what people do with wood around here. Buy a bunch of wood, dump it in the basement through a small window, then once it's all down there you go down and stack it.

Nah, the hidden door that I just found was the natural way to get the coal into the basement. The window is just kind of... there. It serves no obvious purpose. The coal cellar isn't under the actual house, it's under the front steps, so it's more like a stone shed, and the window opens out onto a sort of yard space off to the side.
It's a weird arrangement all around; there's a disconnected toilet down there too, no idea why.

I do remember that when I was a dumb teenager, I came home really late one night and had no keys. I rang the doorbell a load of times, but no-one heard, so I eventually had to try to break into the house. I ended up climbing through one of the weird windows into the disused basement. I had to do this in complete darkness with the knowledge I was climbing hands-first into an old bathroom that had a dead person's false teeth on a washstand near the window. The fact that I had known the said dead person very well was not particularly comforting.
I did get through the window, did NOT touch the teeth, and managed to climb* up out of the basement into the main house without breaking any bones.

*there used to be stairs connecting the basement with the upper floors, but they were taken out years and years ago.

InediblePenguin posted:

That's a coal cellar

That's where the coal got put into the coal cellar

Nope, there's a dedicated coal hole with a nifty cast-iron lid built into the steps for efficient coal delivery.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:45

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Pookah posted:

Nope, there's a dedicated coal hole with a nifty cast-iron lid built into the steps for efficient coal delivery.

Sounds like it was just for light. Assuming the house was pre-electric light itwas probably good sense to have the option of not bringing a flame into a coal cellar.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:52

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; Can't post for 31 minutes!

Bonster posted:

It's a cold room. You would store stuff under there.

cold cellar is cold, u complain everywhere u go

# ? Sep 14, 2023 20:57

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Runcible Cat posted:

Sounds like it was just for light. Assuming the house was pre-electric light itwas probably good sense to have the option of not bringing a flame into a coal cellar.

Yeah, that does make sense.
Apart from the hidden basement door in the coal cellar, there is another one to the outside, but I presume that was kept closed/locked most of the time to keep thieves from nicking the coal or sneaking into the basement.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:01

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for having 4 weddings?

quote:

I, 30sF, met my now husband, 30sM, while studying in Europe. We are both African but from 2 different countries. He proposed 18 months ago. While wedding planning, we realised what a logistical nightmare it would be to have everyone we want there in one place.

After much consideration, we decided to have a ceremony in all of places most important to us: my country, his country and the country we live in.

The first stop was in my country, where we had first a marriage ceremony as my parent's homestead then a European style white wedding. It was large affair as my parents went all out on the wedding and invited lots of people.

Next was in my husband's country and it was oh so beautiful. His mum had a traditional bridal gown made for me and I felt so loved and welcomed by his family. It was another big celebration as his parents did the same thing as mine.

Finally we returned to Europe where we had a small ceremony with about 60 people. It was by far the most lowkey but still a nice ceremony. We self funded this one and our parents paid for the ones in their respective countries. We had a 2 week holiday before coming back to start new jobs. It all lasted 8 weeks from start to finish. The only consistent guests were our immediate nuclear families as we didn't want to put anyone out.

We made 1 instagram post captioned 'What's better than 1 wedding?' (a music reference) with 10 pictures from across our ceremonies and 1 from our honeymoon.

I had a catch up with my friend on return and found she'd gotten engaged while we were back home. I congratulated her and was happy for her, asking if she had started planning the wedding. She said yes, but money was tight and she's had to do it on a budget. She asked for my support given the summer I'd just had and asked me to be in her bridal party. I said of course, and I'd help her plan a great wedding that won't break the bank.

I've been sending her messages of pinterests and tiktoks I see of budget friendly ideas for her wedding. She's been blue ticking me for a while, so I asked if everything was okay. I got a massively long paragraph telling me I'm a bad person.

I had 4 weddings where she can barely afford one. I'm sending her tacky DIY things when I had a classy ceremony. I did not offer to help her pay for her wedding when I can clearly afford 4 weddings and a honeymoon. I'm a bad friend for even letting her get to this point. I am spoilt and privileged and so ungrateful. I left her on read for a day because if I'd responded straight away I'd have cursed her of her name. She sends me aggressive ?????? texts, asking if I have nothing to say which is comical given she'd been leaving me on read for ages. I replied and said you're clearly dealing with something right now. I'm going to give you space to face your demons. Come back to me when you're ready to be an adult and have a rational conversation.

She said I was condescending and unfeeling. I blocked her to maintain my peace.

AITA?

Spacing mine

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:04

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Can't post for 44 minutes!; Toilet Rascal

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for having 4 weddings?

Only if you don't follow them up with a funeral

I only count three weddings in the text, is that just a repeated typo :ohdear:

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:07

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

haveblue posted:

Only if you don't follow it up with a funeral

I only count three weddings in the text, is that just a repeated typo

"The first stop was in my country, where we had first a marriage ceremony as my parent's homestead then a European style white wedding. "

That's two separate weddings.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:07

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; Can't post for 31 minutes!

haveblue posted:

Only if you don't follow them up with a funeral

I only count three weddings in the text, is that just a repeated typo

Nah, I had to read it a couple times, they counted a traditional marriage ceremony as one before the first big wedding.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:08

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Rare estranged adult child story where you come down solidly on the side of the parents.

AITA for cancelling dinner with my parents after they tried to replace me?

quote:

I (F28) made a pretty dumb decision roughly 9 years ago when I decided to elope with my then-boyfriend, Mike (M30). My parents (M67 and F63) hated Mike from the start; they thought he was a user. I thought they were meddling too much in my business, so (with Mike�s encouragement) I went completely NC with them. They tried repeatedly to get back in contact with me for the next 3 or so years, but I entirely shut them out and didn�t communicate with them at all.

After Mike dumped me, roughly 4 years after we eloped (almost 5 years ago from today), I was in a pretty rough place. It seemed like years where I was just wandering between pointless relationships and dead-end jobs.

Fast forward to this year, and I feel that I finally have some stability in my life. In late August, I decided to reach out to my parents again and reconnected with my mom online. She and my dad were both thrilled and invited me over for dinner. I accepted and planned on meeting with them this weekend.

As the date came closer, I started looking at my parents' social media accounts and kept seeing the same woman (and her family) in so many pictures with my parents. She was literally on vacation with my parents, and I even saw my parents with her at her wedding. Even worse, later pictures showed that she had 3 kids and was referring to my own parents as her kids' �grandma� and �grandpa�.

Yesterday, I called my mom and asked her about this lady, and she said that she was a family friend who they met about 5 years ago. She told me that she and my dad became really close with her (and her family) and considered them to be relatives. I was shocked by this and felt pretty emotional. So, I then told my mom that just because I was away, that didn�t give her and my dad permission to essentially replace me.

My mom denied this and said that I couldn�t be replaced. I told her that she was clearly lying based on what those kids were calling her and my dad. My mom started crying, saying that I was blowing things out of proportion, but I hung up. That evening, my dad called me and he sounded pretty angry. He said that I made an active decision to be an idiot and run off and because of that I didn�t have a right to criticize him and my mom �for going on with their lives�. He mentioned how they tried repeatedly to get into contact with me, but that I kept on keeping them at a distance.

I tried to argue with him, saying that we�d never be in this situation if they had been more supportive about me and Mike, but he said that was irrelevant now. I was so angry with him at this stage, so I told him that I would not be coming over. He said that was fine since I couldn�t be trusted to act like an adult.

OP disappears from her parents' lives, goes no contact for nine years, actively rejects all attempts to recontact her, is dumped by the dirtbag she was warned not to run off with, scrapes along on rock bottom for five years, and when she finally reaches back out to her family, she is stunned to discover that her parents didn't spend the previous nine years preserved in stasis or wearing mourning black for their departed daughter, but went on with their lives, and is furious. Amazing.

OP is on a roll in comments

quote:

As the product of their relationship, I consider myself to be the primary stakeholder in who they interact with. That being said, I think it's troubling that they thought that they just replace me and go on with their lives like nothing happened. Also, I honestly do think things would have worked out better with Mike had they been more supportive then

Considering my parents have a daughter of their own, I don't think it was appropriate for them to bring some other people into our family without consulting me first.

I came back didn't I, but they went ahead and tried to replace me at the first opportunity. They don't have the right to do that

Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship by being their only real child. With that said, I think they should have thought about how I might feel before they went ahead and attempted to find a replacement daughter

The primary stakeholder has spoken!

FMguru fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Sep 14, 2023

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:33

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; Can't post for 31 minutes!

As Chief Executive Offspring of this family,

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:35

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

the main character has logged on

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:46

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

FoolyCharged posted:

I was going to say most pools have such an assload of chlorine in them you can just fish it out with a new and be fine.

And then I remembered private pools run much lower quantities and that poo poo would need shocked

E: ^^^^^
I love that as a solution. Food the kids will want? Stuff the kids will actually want to do? An incredibly trivial drive time? All of those angry parents are idiots that want their kids bored out of their minds.

I was expecting like a 30 minute to an hour drive from the title, not 5 minutes. NTA

# ? Sep 14, 2023 21:53

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Lmao I'm used to that grand-paternal sense of entitlement and ownership to their grandchildren or children but it's a surprise to see a kid who thinks being born makes them mafia don.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 22:05

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Well? Where did it lead?

The Navidson Hallway, of course.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 22:57

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

TBLALV posted:

People getting obsessed over last names are so loving weird. It's not the middle ages anymore! There aren't lineages! You're just a random suburbanite in Ohio! gently caress!

At the very least I'm glad I don't have family members hounding me for my Rare Last Name going extinct after me and my sister don't have any children.

My family was pretty pissed when I started using a different entire name. First middle last. Picking your own name is what character customization is all about. gently caress bloodlines and lineages.

We don't talk anymore.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:02

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship is an amazing title

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:15

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Upgrade posted:

Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship is an amazing title

Agreed

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:16

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Agreed

r/relationships: Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:21

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The OP was scuffling along for five years after getting dumped, keeping her fires stoked by imaging how pained and miserable her parents must still be because of her absence all these years, that however bad she had it at least her horrible parents were suffering, too - and when she finally reaches out, she discovers that they've moved on and have new family friends and pals and people calling them "mom" and "grandpa". All those Christmases eating a microwave dinner alone in her lovely studio apartment, comforting herself that her parents were probably having an even crappier time of it, but no, they were having big holiday dinners with lots of friends and kids running around and talking about where they going to take their next vacation.

LOL, LMAO.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:25

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

fool thought the relationship had pinched out and sold her stake at a loss only for some other prospector to find there was still family to be had

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:25

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Can't post for 44 minutes!; Toilet Rascal

Upgrade posted:

r/relationships: Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

It�s good but we never got that salamander title :mad:

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:29

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Upgrade posted:

r/relationships: Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:30

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

quote:

I am a happily married man with two awesome kids. My high school girlfriend �Lisa� has recently gotten in contact with me and dropped a bombshell. She confessed that, unbeknownst to me, I got her pregnant 20 years ago when we were teenagers and my mother bribed her to have an abortion. I no longer have contact with my mother, but this type of controlling behavior is very characteristic of her. Lisa, who is childless and unmarried now, has a lot of regrets about the abortion and requested that I father another child with her to replace the one she lost then.

I realize this is an extremely unorthodox request, but I feel very badly about what my mother�s toxic behavior put Lisa through. I can just picture Lisa coming to my mother to ask for help and my mother verbally berating her into submission. I asked my wife for her thoughts on the idea, and she angrily shot it down and said it would be cheating. To be clear, I get that extramarital sex is literally the definition of cheating, but this scenario is kind of different because I�d only be doing it to help Lisa. Can it really technically be considered cheating if it�s for an altruistic reason? I�m considering going ahead with it despite my wife�s objections. Do you think I�m justified to do so, or is my wife correct that this would be cheating? If I do go ahead with it, should I tell my wife I�m doing it despite her objections, or just leave her out of it entirely?

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:37

Yoshi Wins: Jul 14, 2013

The torch in my heart for �Salamander� still burns bright.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:40

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Upgrade posted:

r/relationships: Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:46

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

trickybiscuits posted:

.

well I whiplashed pretty fuckin hard at the end of that first paragraph

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:49

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Grey Cat posted:

My family was pretty pissed when I started using a different entire name. First middle last. Picking your own name is what character customization is all about. gently caress bloodlines and lineages.

We don't talk anymore.

Well it was kind of a flex when you changed your name to Grey Danger Cat so you could say "Danger is my middle name" and pull out the documentation.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:54

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

hawowanlawow posted:

fool thought the relationship had pinched out and sold her stake at a loss only for some other prospector to find there was still family to be had

There's family in them thar hills!

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:54

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

CannonFodder posted:

Well it was kind of a flex when you changed your name to Grey Danger Cat so you could say "Danger is my middle name" and pull out the documentation.

You're not far off so honestly it was a pretty big flex. Danger would have been way cooler though, maybe next time.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:56

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

This dude totally needs to go through with it. The wife will understand, in time.

Understand that she married a dumbass

# ? Sep 14, 2023 23:59

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Upgrade posted:

r/relationships: Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

# ? Sep 15, 2023 00:00

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Captain Hygiene posted:

As Chief Executive Offspring of this family,

This family which I severed all contact with 9 years ago...

# ? Sep 15, 2023 00:02

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# ? May 14, 2024 23:49

Nae: Sep 3, 2020; what.

CannonFodder posted:

This family which I severed all contact with 9 years ago...

Listen, just because you step down as CEO doesn�t mean you need to relinquish control of the board!

# ? Sep 15, 2023 00:07

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