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John Wick of Dogs posted:Should have used a Bible An injection of last rites at least...
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Sep 18, 2023 03:39
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Hollismason posted:Imagine being a lawyer and trying to mount a defense while your client goes on multiple media outlets to confess their crimes. This is why Trump hires local strip mall "¡Se habla español!" personal injury attorneys to represent him in giant rear end cases like this, because they'll do what he tells them, not the other way around. Meanwhile he runs around shouting poo poo like "I ordered them all to hang Mike Pence!" and "I told Brad Rafensburger if he didn't just say I won the election, I'd personally put a bomb in his car and blow him up like that scene from The Dark Knight" and they can't do poo poo to stop him.
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Sep 18, 2023 03:47
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nine-gear crow posted:This is why Trump hires local strip mall "¡Se habla español!" personal injury attorneys to represent him in giant rear end cases like this, because they'll do what he tells them, not the other way around. Meanwhile he runs around shouting poo poo like "I ordered them all to hang Mike Pence!" and "I told Brad Rafensburger if he didn't just say I won the election, I'd personally put a bomb in his car and blow him up like that scene from The Dark Knight" and they can't do poo poo to stop him. I love Lionel Hutz as a character, but he would be on the Trump team at some point.
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Sep 18, 2023 03:49
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redshirt posted:I love Lionel Hutz as a character, but he would be on the Trump team at some point. "As your attorney, I'm recommending that I shut the gently caress up right now, because I'm probably gonna get disbarred somehow if I keep talking."
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Sep 18, 2023 03:55
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nine-gear crow posted:"As your attorney, I'm recommending that I shut the gently caress up right now, because I'm probably gonna get disbarred somehow if I keep talking." Is that a valid legal argument? i.e. "Your honor, I can't control my client, so the stupid illegal poo poo he says does not reflect on me or my legal ability."
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Sep 18, 2023 03:57
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redshirt posted:I love Lionel Hutz as a character, but he would be on the Trump team at some point. Hutz asks for money down, and Trump famously does not pay his lawyers. He would not work for Trump.
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Sep 18, 2023 03:58
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BrigadierSensible posted:Is that a valid legal argument? Yeah, lawyers can do that; like if their dumbass guilty-as-hell clients insist on putting up a "all the witnesses are lying" defense that the lawyer doesn't agree to and knows is false; or if they're going to go up and lie on the stand. The lawyer basically can tell the judge "look. I am not going to solicit false testimony here, but this guy is about to go up and lie their rear end off and I can't stop him"
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Sep 18, 2023 04:00
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Trump's lawyers probably take a bunch of pointers from Hutz though. Furiously practicing their tie-untying skills for the big day.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:03
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I bet all his lawyers have ulcers.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:06
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Hollismason posted:I bet all his lawyers have ulcers. "Flop Sweat"
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Sep 18, 2023 04:08
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Hollismason posted:I bet all his lawyers have ulcers. Are ulcers still a thing? Seems like growing up, all the men my dad’s age had ulcers. Do they call it IBS now? I haven’t heard of someone having an ulcer in, like, two decades.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:08
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Always remember, now matter how much any news-twerp says they hate the chump and disapprove of everything that he did, they enjoyed reading five tweets he made on the toilet at 3 a.m. and making those an entire 24 hour news cycle, to the exclusion of anything else. They still read the fake tweets from his fakey fake social media platform made just for him. I don't think a week goes by that they don't show the Jan. 6 quote where he says "to the CAA-AAPITAL" like he's Jerry Lewis. Lahaina burned to the ground and god knows how many people died, with hours of online videos of burning buildings and people fleeing into a choppy ocean to survive, and they still devoted more screen time to a static shot of the Atlanta jail he was in for about twenty minutes. They love him and would welcome a full return even if it ended in a full-scale nuclear war and societal collapse. The media will absolutely worship his every fart and promote any excuse for him. Biden, they hate. He doesn't write their copy for them. He doesn't barf out unvetted social media posts for them to obsess over. He certainly doesn't phone them up pretending to be somebody else and poo poo out an entire byline they can copy. Any time Biden has been involved in a major news item, they've had to do actual work to cover it and it drives them crazy. Five days after Lahaina burned, CNN's shithead chief White House correspondent demanded to know when Biden would make a statement about it, and the press secretary had to tell him Biden had included remarks about the fire in speeches made all five days. He was just too lazy to check. Biden does take longer to warm up when he talks, the first few minutes of any speech will be rough, but then he relaxes and sounds fine. If something major like a state of the union address is coming, the idiots will spend three days wondering if Biden will drool through the thing and then a couple of hours afterward wondering how he sounded so coherent. Plan on hearing any this line a lot in the next few months, it will go unchallenged through the Republican primaries and most of the conventions. They'll still try to call him incoherent even when he'll be making routine speeches during September and October. The media will absolutely undermine Biden if they can. Remember that when you read any news item, especially the polls. Edit: Ulcers are caused by bacteria, a guy won a Nobel by giving himself one and curing it with antibiotics. They're easily curable now.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:10
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my boomer uncle who drinks heavily has ulcers
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Sep 18, 2023 04:10
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Rod Hoofhearted posted:Are ulcers still a thing? Seems like growing up, all the men my dad’s age had ulcers. Do they call it IBS now? I haven’t heard of someone having an ulcer in, like, two decades. They have really good treatments for ulcers but ulcers are most certainly still a thing.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:12
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Friend I think you may have a computer virus, it's modifying your clipboard to create links to some sketchy rear end domain. The gently caress is "x.com"?
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Sep 18, 2023 04:13
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Rod Hoofhearted posted:Are ulcers still a thing? Seems like growing up, all the men my dad’s age had ulcers. Do they call it IBS now? I haven’t heard of someone having an ulcer in, like, two decades. Bruce Springsteen recently postponed a bunch of shows because ulcers, and he’s pretty healthy for his age. So yeah I guess they can sneak up on you.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:14
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don Jaime posted:Edit: Ulcers are caused by bacteria, a guy won a Nobel by giving himself one and curing it with antibiotics. They're easily curable now. It's why US cattle are loaded with antibiotics. They're fed hi-calorie food / other cattle their systems are no designed to consume, and they develop ulcers.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:15
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The Last Call posted:Like this for instance: wow out of 30+ people no one was like "hey don't do that"
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Sep 18, 2023 04:17
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No, they were all like “hell yeah I’m gonna be on youtube!”
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Sep 18, 2023 04:18
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BrigadierSensible posted:Is that a valid legal argument? poisonpill posted:Yeah, lawyers can do that; like if their dumbass guilty-as-hell clients insist on putting up a "all the witnesses are lying" defense that the lawyer doesn't agree to and knows is false; or if they're going to go up and lie on the stand. The lawyer basically can tell the judge "look. I am not going to solicit false testimony here, but this guy is about to go up and lie their rear end off and I can't stop him" yeah, not just that but if the lawyer handles it professionally enough such a jackass client can actually advance their career.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:21
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don Jaime posted:Biden does take longer to warm up when he talks, the first few minutes of any speech will be rough, but then he relaxes and sounds fine. If something major like a state of the union address is coming, the idiots will spend three days wondering if Biden will drool through the thing and then a couple of hours afterward wondering how he sounded so coherent.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:23
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LifeSunDeath posted:wow out of 30+ people no one was like "hey don't do that" Well yeah, they're social media personalities. You don't scream "Look out!" when the car is hurtling towards the big flaming hoop at the top of a ramp.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:31
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A day is a lifetime in politics, a week is an eternity and a year might as well be a billion Big Bangs -> heat death of those universes
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Sep 18, 2023 04:35
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A local old timer AM radio station has had the same programming for 25 years and actually really owned to fall asleep listening to. They played everything from the ‘40s to the ‘90s, with an emphasis on ‘40s and ‘50s standards and ‘60s and ‘70s oldies. Lots of different music and minimal commercials; it was a nice break from the garbage-rear end radio landscape. I hadn’t listened to them in a minute, and I noticed the app I had for it changed on my phone. I looked closer and it changed to FREEDOM 1400, THE PATRIOT’S VOICE. Fuckin’ Cumulus flipped it to conservative talk radio three weeks ago. Dunno whether to  or 
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Sep 18, 2023 04:46
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Coolguye posted:it's especially funny that this has been basically a 24/7 talking point since biden took office and the one to really crack and make a point of it... is the turtle. Really wondering when they’ll be wheeling turtle in like Feinstein in a blatant abuse-of-an-elder scenario where they’ll prop his arms up to make him cut votes short. Dude’s got his hand poking out of the casket while the grim reaper tries to nail it shut, and Feinstein barely has a fingernail hanging out at this point. The gerontocracy lives on despite nature’s best attempts.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:48
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You Are A Elf posted:A local old timer AM radio station has had the same programming for 25 years and actually really owned to fall asleep listening to. They played everything from the ‘40s to the ‘90s, with an emphasis on ‘40s and ‘50s standards and ‘60s and ‘70s oldies. Lots of different music and minimal commercials; it was a nice break from the garbage-rear end radio landscape. This has legit poisoned us and I have no idea how to stop it because of legit free speech reasons.
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Sep 18, 2023 04:48
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redshirt posted:This has legit poisoned us and I have no idea how to stop it because of legit free speech reasons. The local radio stations that my parents had listened to while I was growing up changed from news and oldies to right wing news, talk radio and occasional music. I hadn't realized how bad it was until one I was up visiting my parents, and they had a local station on, and it went from local news at 9, then some music, then from 10am to 1pm, all rightwing media people. Usually they'd change the channel then, but sometimes it would just run. I had noticed my parents being more intune with RW stuff over the years, but hadn't connected the dots. Then when they both retired and wintered out of town, they started moving back to normal. All it took was not having that poo poo playing all day and it helped. Thankfully they never watched Fox.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:01
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Seth Pecksniff posted:A day is a lifetime in politics, a week is an eternity and a year might as well be a billion Big Bangs -> heat death of those universes Remember when we were all worried about Vivekmentum the day after shouted for three hours on the debate stage like a coke fiend at lightspeed that he was going to become the new runner up to Trump? Good times. Whatever happened to Vivek anyway? Did he die?
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Sep 18, 2023 05:12
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redshirt posted:This has legit poisoned us and I have no idea how to stop it because of legit free speech reasons. Tax the rich so much more harshly that they don’t feel like they can afford propping this poo poo up any more. Seriously.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:22
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nine-gear crow posted:This is why Trump hires local strip mall "¡Se habla español!" personal injury attorneys to represent him in giant rear end cases like this, because they'll do what he tells them, not the other way around. Meanwhile he runs around shouting poo poo like "I ordered them all to hang Mike Pence!" and "I told Brad Rafensburger if he didn't just say I won the election, I'd personally put a bomb in his car and blow him up like that scene from The Dark Knight" and they can't do poo poo to stop him. Trump runs through almost every lawyer available DeSantis is a lawyer! Trump names DeSantis "MEATBALL RON" - DeSantis resists Trump wins nomination DeSantis sucks Trump's butt a la Ted Cruz Begins going by "MEATBALL RON" in his day-to-day life Trump hires DeSantis (doesn't pay) Remember, due to the amulet's curse Trump can only utilize hilarious food-themed lawyers.. but there are loopholes
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Sep 18, 2023 05:25
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Random Stranger posted:This, but the plaque slams into the earth at relativistic velocities so the last thing humanity sees before the planet gets a hole punched into it that can be seen from Neptune is some alien's schlong. Any species advanced enough to travel through space must have some high degree of socialisation. If we look at social species on Earth most don't greet each other in the same way humans do though. For example dogs focus on inspecting each other's butts. So when we meet aliens, it's not inconceivable that as we move towards them with hands outstretched, they come towards us with asses presented wide in an interstellar Goatse'ing.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:25
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Senor Tron posted:Any species advanced enough to travel through space must have some high degree of socialisation. If we look at social species on Earth most don't greet each other in the same way humans do though. For example dogs focus on inspecting each other's butts. That’s fetish! 
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Sep 18, 2023 05:26
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Rod Hoofhearted posted:That’s fetish! You too shall be subsumed by the Great Anus of the Cosmos one day.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:32
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I have it on good authority that Carl Sagan was never horny!
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Sep 18, 2023 05:34
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quote:He had experimented previously and thought the thick book would protect him, but the couple's three-year-old child and nearly 30 onlookers watched as she fired a fatal bullet. OK, now I have even less sympathy for these people.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:35
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UltraShame posted:I have it on good authority that Carl Sagan was never horny! Bullshit, this man was an unstoppable sex machine. 
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Sep 18, 2023 05:36
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Sep 18, 2023 05:40
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nine-gear crow posted:Bullshit, this man was an unstoppable sex machine. The schmeat planet https://youtu.be/ZP7K9SycELA?si=Xvyl9T-XN70tqSh0
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Sep 18, 2023 05:43
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https://x.com/CaseyDeSantis/status/1703484009756377373?s=20 Da**
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Sep 18, 2023 05:49
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Hunter Bidens laptop is in front of my house, it's skittering around snapping at people I don't know who to call.
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Sep 18, 2023 05:54
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