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Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

now that my kids are 15 and 13, forehead kisses are safe. I assume that at some point they will no longer be welcome, but for now it’s all good

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Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

i would have thought for sure they’d reject them earlier than that!

i grew up without forehead kisses from my dad (i guess, not that i really remember a lot growing up) so it felt weird giving physical affection to my son.

of course that doesn’t stop me, he gets if anything too many smooches and hugs during the day.

Perplx
Jun 26, 2004


Best viewed on Orgasma Plasma
Lipstick Apathy
I got a real bad case of pink eye from my kid, still better than when I went blind from hand foot and mouth

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
lol my 14yo came off his skateboard and called me up and was like “dad can you come get me my leg fuckkn hurts”

bad scrape on his palm too. oh well if there’s one guarantee you get with skateboarding it’s that you will hurt yourself

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



I broke both ankles twice, once at the same time, both wrists, an arm, my tailbone, and some fingers and toes skateboarding/longboarding and surfing

hell be right

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
ankles?? gently caress

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

yeah had this. also getting jumped on and punched in the dick.

Yesterday my 3 year old ran by and just got a lightning fast full grip on the whole package and yanked as hard as he could and my god did I scream

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




protecting your soft underbellies is a key tactic no one warns you about

Pythagoras a trois
Feb 19, 2004

I have a lot of points to make and I will make them later.
now i get all those bosses that walk around with an obvious flashing red weakpoint hanging out. i know my nads aren't safe per say but when the kids jump from some unseen great height straight onto my crotch its always a surprise.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 10, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


jfc the point blank refusal to listen/active ignoring of everything said is past old. turning the tap on full blast to wash hands then crying if it's turned off because "I want to turn it off" (so do it when I tell you then: rolleyes:), outright denial of filling a nappy, flinging things around then screaming when they're taken away etc.

48 hours of being a pain in the rear end, I'm glad I'm at work today and I'll never complain about the cost of childcare again because the idea of dealing with this every day ages me


RokosCockatrice posted:

now i get all those bosses that walk around with an obvious flashing red weakpoint hanging out. i know my nads aren't safe per say but when the kids jump from some unseen great height straight onto my crotch its always a surprise.

lol

c-c-c-c-critical hit

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




getting zandatsu’d by a toddler is a rite of passage

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

Kenny Logins posted:

one time i was going to kiss the top of my sweet small childe's little head and she jumped, cranially uppercutting me directly under the jaw. really hosed up my night

taught me to keep my chin down in the future lol
To this day whenever a child's head is under my face I reflexively keep my hand in between for when they inevitably try to headbutt me into the nether realm.

Subjunctive posted:

now that my kids are 15 and 13, forehead kisses are safe. I assume that at some point they will no longer be welcome, but for now it’s all good
Our oldest is 9 and the school dropoff is very funny because they won't accept more than one hug but if you appear to forget so help me god you're getting loving tackled.

evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 11:34 on Sep 18, 2023

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

why do socks never stay on my son's feet? do i have the wrong socks or something?

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



Eeyo posted:

why do socks never stay on my son's feet? do i have the wrong socks or something?

you forgot to tape them

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib

Eeyo posted:

why do socks never stay on my son's feet? do i have the wrong socks or something?

Organic Lube User
Apr 15, 2005

Any parents in here deal with the Amazon kids fire tablets with their Free Time poo poo installed? It gives access to lots of games and stuff, but seems to lock you into an even more limited version of Amazons walled garden such that you cannot install YouTube Kids, AND you can't prevent your kid from using some lovely third party YouTube app that offers zero options for moderating content.

I want my kid to be able to use YouTube Kids (which actually offers some moderation) on her tablet, but the only way that works is if I log into my parent account and install it via a sideloaded Google Play store, which is a pain in the rear end.

Is there a way to lock down the parent account via third party apps so that my kid can only access YouTube Kids and whatever other apps I install for them?

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



I had to scrap the kids account and just use a normal heavily locked down profile, since the kids account let them download dumb barbie dress up games Willy Nilly, and I just want them to use the tablet for Khan Academy Kids and Plex

so to answer your question, yes there is, but it doesn’t involve using the Amazon kids profile at all

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib
The kids fire tablet is absolute dogshit and yet still the best kids tablet solution available and it sucks

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



I think an iPad mini would be much better from a parental control perspective, but those don’t go on sale for $75 every prime day

Organic Lube User
Apr 15, 2005

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

I had to scrap the kids account and just use a normal heavily locked down profile, since the kids account let them download dumb barbie dress up games Willy Nilly, and I just want them to use the tablet for Khan Academy Kids and Plex

so to answer your question, yes there is, but it doesn’t involve using the Amazon kids profile at all

What do you use to lock down the profile? Just the native features, or something third party?

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



Organic Lube User posted:

What do you use to lock down the profile? Just the native features, or something third party?

just the native parental controls. disabled access to all apps except the two I wanted them to have, turned off Alexa and internet access, etc.

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

I had to scrap the kids account and just use a normal heavily locked down profile, since the kids account let them download dumb barbie dress up games Willy Nilly, and I just want them to use the tablet for Khan Academy Kids and Plex

so to answer your question, yes there is, but it doesn’t involve using the Amazon kids profile at all
LOL of course the amazon parental control can't control apps lmao. Of loving course.

Organic Lube User
Apr 15, 2005

evil_bunnY posted:

LOL of course the amazon parental control can't control apps lmao. Of loving course.

It's amazing, the apps I actually want her to have, I gotta go into the parental control website and authorize and then maybe they might install. But I can't keep this lovely faux YouTube app off there no matter what I do.
My 5 year old asked us if kids can smoke weed after seeing a snoop Dogg "smoke weed everyday" mixed into the latest goofy meme she's been into, so YouTube is officially on its way out.

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

Elektronik
Supersonik
no unsupervised YouTube here, hell they rarely get to watch it. deleted the app off the tv once one of the boys figured out how to get to it; we can still cast though and control the queue from our phones.

the boys (especially one) are addicted to Minecraft videos and are limited to ten minutes a day while they take a poo poo.

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



Organic Lube User posted:

It's amazing, the apps I actually want her to have, I gotta go into the parental control website and authorize and then maybe they might install. But I can't keep this lovely faux YouTube app off there no matter what I do.
My 5 year old asked us if kids can smoke weed after seeing a snoop Dogg "smoke weed everyday" mixed into the latest goofy meme she's been into, so YouTube is officially on its way out.

lmao yeah, with the non-kids account parental controls, you can simply block the App Store so they can’t grab it and install it again. their little control website didn’t do poo poo and after the fourth barbie game got nuked I said gently caress this there’s gotta be a better way

zokie
Feb 13, 2006

Out of many, Sweden
some of the Minecraft YouTubers are pretty decent, it’s been cool seeing the boys build some pretty sweet things that they got inspiration from watching them. But there’s always ALWAYS the theme of loving over your friends which is pretty weird I think.

And then there is the ones that run heavily modded and massacre villagers with an AK…

We’ve made a rule that they can watch the ones building cool poo poo, but not the ones “playing theater, but in Minecraft” works well so far.

CompeAnansi
Feb 1, 2011

I respectfully decline
the invitation to join
your hallucination
my oldest is four, but i'm gonna try to fend off youtube for as long as possible. not sure at what age i'll ultimately lose that battle at.

for now, disney+, pbs kids, and nature programs are about all im comfortable with. my kid doesn't have a tablet yet, but i do wish there was a kids tablet that simply blocked everything except what you explicitly whitelist, where the options for the whitelist included the whole app store. seems like a simple concept...

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
my son somehow worked out how to stream breaking bad

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

devmd01 posted:

no unsupervised YouTube here
youtube is a radicalization engine first and foremost (because anger/outrage drives engagement, and engagement is literally the only thing they give a poo poo about). absolutely no YT in this house. They get netflix/d+ and that's been OK.

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
i show my daughter youtubes i found all the time (like this great one) but i would never leave her alone with algorithmically curated content anywhere except khan academy kids

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone
also li ziqi and primitive technology are great watches with little kids (although li ziqi sometimes butchers stuff so be ready to talk about eating meat if you watch those ones)

Elder Postsman
Aug 30, 2000


i used hot bot to search for "teens"

devmd01 posted:

no unsupervised YouTube here, hell they rarely get to watch it. deleted the app off the tv once one of the boys figured out how to get to it; we can still cast though and control the queue from our phones.

same, the site is blocked on phones and ipads, only the youtube kids app is allowed and that's on an allow-list of videos and channels (though this, unsurprisingly, works like poo poo, and half the stuff i've put on the list doesn't even show up). anything else youtube gets routed through tubesync and plex.

abigserve
Sep 13, 2009

this is a better avatar than what I had before
I let my oldest son onto the switch to play mario odyssey and now we've got a goddamn *gamer* on our hands

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



I told my kids that once they can read on their own they can play games

thankfully the only one they’re interested in is Pokémon :toot:

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004



lmao i feel that. little jones and i went to nintendo live and now he's a die-hard animal crossing fan. i take this as a mild improvement over his love of kirby, and as a massive improvement over his love of minecraft

it has him reading more than ever, im calling it a win

Pythagoras a trois
Feb 19, 2004

I have a lot of points to make and I will make them later.
been getting the daughter to play undertale. plenty of the sarcasm or sarcastically easy puzzles go over her head, but she loves it anyway and it gets her reading.

I heard chrono trigger is a good early reader game as well, may give it a whirl.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
my 14yo was watching tv (the office) and I sat down to watch it too, and he was like “um you have a phone to use, you don’t have to watch this” and I said “would you rather I didn’t?” and he said “it’s kinda awkward”


so I left to write this post instead

:cry:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

my 14yo was watching tv (the office) and I sat down to watch it too, and he was like “um you have a phone to use, you don’t have to watch this” and I said “would you rather I didn’t?” and he said “it’s kinda awkward”


so I left to write this post instead

:cry:

lmao

jeebus bob
Nov 4, 2004

Festina lente

Seconded

My 12 y.o. is beginning to show signs of this where my mere existence can be a source of awkwardness to him. I can still turn the situation on its head by exaggerating and lampshading but pretty soon I expect to become irredeemably cringe.

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evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

echinopsis posted:

my 14yo was watching tv (the office) and I sat down to watch it too, and he was like “um you have a phone to use, you don’t have to watch this” and I said “would you rather I didn’t?” and he said “it’s kinda awkward”


so I left to write this post instead

:cry:
Goddamn you got atomized my guy

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