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McGavin posted:My work allows me to expense meals, but expressly prohibits me from expensing coffee when I go to visit clients. Ok, fine, I guess you're paying for me to have a sandwich too then idiots. Regular drip coffee and the nicest sandwichs they have and give em to homeless people. Make capitalism socialism again.
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Sep 21, 2023 03:35
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Re: most stupid firing: Pallet jack jousting.
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Sep 21, 2023 06:34
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Barudak, pack your poo poo we're going to Nagoya for a meeting at the F1 race tomorrow.
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Sep 21, 2023 09:55
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Barudak posted:Barudak, pack your poo poo we're going to Nagoya for a meeting at the F1 race tomorrow. You're lucky, last week's race was in Singapore
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Sep 21, 2023 10:28
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Serious_Cyclone posted:Never, under any circumstances, work for an "unlimited PTO" company. I'm in charge of approving leave at an unlimited PTO company and I will literally approve every single request, I see come in and if anyone is taking under 4-5 weeks in any year I get them to take more days. As long as people are performing well I don't give a poo poo how many days they have off.
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Sep 21, 2023 10:56
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My coworker decided to, on his time off on a trip in a different city, drop in at one of our dealers and talk to them in person and see how things were going and if there was anything they could do, etc etc, usual sales stuff I don't know poo poo about. That made him miss the bus to the event he was there for with his kids (school event with some parents along) so he took a cab and got poo poo for wanting to write it off as an expense. He's going near that same place again in a week or so and there's some stuff that would be nice if he could go there and clear it up in person. But he told me since he got so much poo poo for that cab fare last time, he's not gonna drop in this time.
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Sep 21, 2023 11:20
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Randy Travesty posted:Sales admin would book him meetings If our sales team had this, they would literally be the happiest they’ve ever been and never complain again. I don’t understand how people can be so incredibly blinded to how easy they have it and throw it away, a sales role that doesn’t have to book their own appointments sounds like all the fun bits of sales with none of the poo poo.
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Sep 21, 2023 11:35
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His Divine Shadow posted:My coworker decided to, on his time off on a trip in a different city, drop in at one of our dealers and talk to them in person and see how things were going and if there was anything they could do, etc etc, usual sales stuff I don't know poo poo about. Good tbh, people shouldn’t be doing work poo poo in their free time because all it does is reinforce lovely notions.
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Sep 21, 2023 11:53
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Scientastic posted:If our sales team had this, they would literally be the happiest they’ve ever been and never complain again. I don’t understand how people can be so incredibly blinded to how easy they have it and throw it away, a sales role that doesn’t have to book their own appointments sounds like all the fun bits of sales with none of the poo poo. His base money was drat close to seven figures. Seriously. He got over a year of that. And they were still willing to extend the guarantee if he just did the drat meetings. Hell, I loving booked him 50+ meetings personally with folks I knew, and he cancelled almost all of them. His territory is compact. If it was over 30 minutes to get to the area he was going to meetings in, he would cancel. I make much much less than that and I do a shitload of work. I told them I'd take the field job if they couldn't get anyone. They already have people jockeying for it. It's wild.
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Sep 21, 2023 12:09
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Isn’t that the very definition of “failson”. So entitled, he has no clue how good he had it. And probably will get another do nothing position elsewhere.
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Sep 21, 2023 12:46
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Barudak posted:A coworker I had got fired for going into the buildings fire escape staircase and getting stoned. Not because he got stoned and bypassed fire safety to do it, but because he would get too high and need to be rescued and coworkers got tired of helping him. Thanks for the  People getting too high, freaking out and telling on themselves is always good for a I have a pretty good expense account story: Our company had purchased a competitor and that company's owner was working for us through the transition. Basically, he was there to handhold customers and introduce them to our salespeople, etc. In the first month, he & I go to a meeting for a trade assocation that he had been very involved in for several years. I could only stay for one night, he stayed for two. When I'm there, we entertain some customers taking them out for dinner, cocktails, etc. All normal business stuff. I fly home the next morning and he stays. When he gets back, he turns in an reimbursement request for the night I wasn't there: $3000. No receipts. I asked him "What the gently caress is this, Dave?" He said he took a bunch of dudes to a strip bar in a limo and bought booze, lapdances and who knows what else, all with cash. I told him to go gently caress himself and he didn't need to help with the transisiton any longer. He hosed himself out of a couple hundred thousand in consulting fees for the year for some sketchy handjobs in Baltimore.
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Sep 21, 2023 12:54
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Our networking guy who keeps insisting he only handles firewalls (and who loves telling everyone in earshot how smart and overworked he is) is currently insisting that a new wifi network has zero firewalls on it. This wifi network was set up for the express use... of the executives. God, I hope he's right...
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Sep 21, 2023 13:58
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Orvin posted:Isn’t that the very definition of “failson”. So entitled, he has no clue how good he had it. And probably will get another do nothing position elsewhere. I kind of hope he does and that it's the same territory so I can just vacuum up the god damned wins.
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Sep 21, 2023 14:09
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I've seen a lot of firings for repeated lateness, pissing hot, sleeping on the job. Garden-variety making a pass at your subordinates, stealing, and overtime fuckiness. Instead I'll share the worst almost-firing. An old manager interceded on the guy's behalf and he stuck around, but it was a close thing. This office has a secure environment and physical/IT security has only ever become more and more of a serious thing over time. When they first implemented the "No USB use ever no exceptions," it was not rolled out that explicitly, and there was a lot of confusion about it. I used to use a chrome portable executable (to use all my extensions and logins on a company device) and one day I plugged it in same as always only to have a LAN admin basically shoulder-check me away from my device and remove it and warn me never to do it again. So I said uh ok, and never had an issue since. But it was that level of SURPRISE! policy change. However we do a lot of shift work and rotating 12 hours, and before the advent of 4G/5G and decent wireless service a lot of guys burned DVDs or portable drives full of media. While obviously you're not supposed to be watching breaking bad on shift, there was a lot of laxity towards the night shifts, especially towards the end of a major operating event when there wasn't a lot of action going on anymore. A guy plugs in his portable hard drive to copy over some mp3s (something he had been given permission to do) and the USB drive sets off their alerts but what's worse- this was the guy's personal stash of all media including porn. He did not watch any porn using company resources, did not access the porn at work, but the drive was connected with porn on it and that was apparently enough to go straight for a termination for a first-offense guy with 20+ years and a pension. As I said, they interceded on his behalf and he took some training about it. I'm just trying to imagine explaining that one to your wife and kids.
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Sep 21, 2023 14:32
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I remember a guy once got "fired" from a fully funded PhD course a few months in when it became apparent that he couldn't answer even basic questions about the subject and his undergrad university didn't know who he was. Not really sure how he was expecting those years to go.
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Sep 21, 2023 14:38
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I have a lot I could say about IT and security and people doing things they shouldn't be on the job but instead I'll just say hot drat for this one
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Sep 21, 2023 14:48
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frest posted:I've seen a lot of firings for repeated lateness, pissing hot, sleeping on the job.  about what one should share. You're at home, so surely it should not be surprising that you can shift time around to suit your needs. It could be in terms of fairly working your own schedule (e.g.,"I took an hour off to run an errand, worked extra tonight") or downright anti-employer (e.g.,"I took that hour off and I don't loving care"). There's also the garden variety excuses you can provide that almost nobody will ever be upset about, like "I'm not feeling well, going to take the morning off" .But the one that gets me are people who when called out for being unavailable, instead of making up a lie, actually say, "Oh, I was taking a nap." Of all of the things to say, why would you ever admit to that? How can "took a late/long lunch break" not be their automatic go-to?
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Sep 21, 2023 14:50
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Cheesus posted:Of all of the things to say, why would you ever admit to that? How can "took a late/long lunch break" not be their automatic go-to? Ha that sounds almost quaint. This dude was caught sprawled out sleeping while charging overtime (and being top 10% of all OT earners in the company) by a VP who was just visiting a field office to boost morale and chat up the front line guys. He was disappeared instantly, and people just pretended they never knew him.
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Sep 21, 2023 15:20
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So we're moving offices. (They made me move furniture for an hour and a half after I was promised I'd be allowed to leave early, in spite of a bad back and two bad knees, but whatever that's life. I'll loop around to that later once we have a full picture of how hosed this move is.) A month or so ago, I ran an tabletop RPG one-shot and was brainstorming "unintentionally dystopic corporate imagery", and ended up putting a mural of a fake window with a big nature scene behind it in the breakroom, that sort of "this is the beauty you aren't allowed to have as long as you're working" bullshit corporate would think would improve morale. Purely off the top of my head as an idea, never been in an office that actually did it before. I get to our new break room and...  They have multiple of these, in multiple rooms. I read my own future.
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Sep 21, 2023 15:39
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Cheesus posted:Working from home for over ten years, I've always felt that there's certain degree of I never tell anyone what I'm up to. I pray no one gives me poo poo for it because those same people that would leave me on read for weeks on end. Heavens forbid I stepped out for lunch a bit earlier than 'designated eating time'. Funny enough our company having WFH optional prompted people to give feedback like 'have a feeling people don't work" which is really funny because hunting down a lot of people took more time than I would've liked in person, so I sure as gently caress didn't get the opinion they were working even at the office either.
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Sep 21, 2023 15:46
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Heh, a couple of offices in my corp HQ have those, pretty sure it was HR people who put them up but those rooms are now occupied by finance.
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Sep 21, 2023 15:46
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Cheesus posted:Working from home for over ten years, I've always felt that there's certain degree of 100%. Would add there’s the big danger of forever being known as the nap guy when bored managers discuss that person at review time. Peak example of someone oversharing was a coworker who had been out for a week with a back injury he said occurred on the job, using paid time & medical benefits. When he got back we were chatting about Xbox & he casually decided to mention he had actually been hurt in a bar fight & sent in a false claim so the company would pay for it. I of course didn’t tell anyone but dunno who else he barely knew he chose to inform, but I guess it wasn’t too many as he was still there when I shopped years later.
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Sep 21, 2023 15:50
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  how the gently caress does one even break a toilet seat
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Sep 21, 2023 15:53
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oh the stories that seat could tell
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Sep 21, 2023 15:58
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The Black Stones posted:I know working sucks, but I’m always baffled at the people who don’t even want to do the basic thing they were hired to do. I’m all for saying “piss off” when someone asks you to go above and beyond, but the “No, I am going to meltdown at doing the thing I am being paid to do” is the oddest thing. First he came, then he left
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Sep 21, 2023 16:09
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Cthulu Carl posted:Our networking guy who keeps insisting he only handles firewalls (and who loves telling everyone in earshot how smart and overworked he is) is currently insisting that a new wifi network has zero firewalls on it. Sounds like he wants to establish early that he's not touching this thing with a 10 foot pole, good on him. frest posted:"No USB use ever no exceptions," I worked at a bank that tried to implement a rule like that. I was a mobile developer, so I asked our director how I was supposed to do my job. As a great personal favour to my team, they offered permission to use USB devices with approval from IT every time we plugged anything in. Miraculously, I was able to convince the bigwigs that waiting on hold for 45 minutes multiple times per day to plug in a different phone was not an effective use of my time or their budget. Ensign Expendable fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Sep 21, 2023 |
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Sep 21, 2023 16:24
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mobby_6kl posted:
A hefty boi probably leaned to that side and cracked it mid-wipe.
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Sep 21, 2023 16:29
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Reoxygenation posted:I never tell anyone what I'm up to. I pray no one gives me poo poo for it because those same people that would leave me on read for weeks on end. Heavens forbid I stepped out for lunch a bit earlier than 'designated eating time'. At least for my team, we're all WFH and our manager's official position is that so long as you don't give him a reason to care, he doesn't, when it comes to what you're doing at any given moment.
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Sep 21, 2023 16:30
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I'm loving ecstatic that accounts payable may reject my attempt at fiscal responsibility and question my stewardship of the multi-million dollar fund entrusted to me because a loving lump sum gives them loving sticker shock. You derps rubber-stamping a series of invoices in the hundreds but questioning a singular invoice in the thousands with a discount attached to it makes me question y'all's personal budgeting skills.
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Sep 21, 2023 16:45
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Dameius posted:At least for my team, we're all WFH and our manager's official position is that so long as you don't give him a reason to care, he doesn't, when it comes to what you're doing at any given moment. World needs more managers like that. Bless em
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Sep 21, 2023 16:53
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I brought my Drake posted:I'm loving ecstatic that accounts payable may reject my attempt at fiscal responsibility and question my stewardship of the multi-million dollar fund entrusted to me because a loving lump sum gives them loving sticker shock. Company being penny wise!? You'll see this all the time in IT where the company will be happy to burn twice as much money to do something simply because it comes out of a different budget bucket instead of spending objectively less money but if you touch this other bucket that means it is bad.
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Sep 21, 2023 16:54
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Sep 21, 2023 17:53
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Nobody said "crank it raw"?
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Sep 21, 2023 18:18
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goatface posted:Nobody said "crank it raw"? They aren't waiting for a rainy day to indulge.
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Sep 21, 2023 18:21
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Cthulu Carl posted:Our networking guy who keeps insisting he only handles firewalls (and who loves telling everyone in earshot how smart and overworked he is) is currently insisting that a new wifi network has zero firewalls on it. DDoS them.
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Sep 21, 2023 18:38
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mobby_6kl posted:
I've done that while wearing a plaster cast that went from my ankle to just below the hip, after dislocating a kneecap.
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Sep 21, 2023 18:46
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Cheesus posted:Working from home for over ten years, I've always felt that there's certain degree of I was in the yard putting away a fish tank I disassembled over the weekend around lunch time earlier in the week and got a call from my boss asking how a certain screen worked or something simple but needing to be logged into the intranet. I filled space saying I needed a couple minutes to log in after lunch and my boss straight up back pedaled and was like "oh I can call back later I don't want to interrupt lunch." You get 1 lunch per day per person and you don't even need to use them when you take lunch if no one bothers you during your real lunch 
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Sep 21, 2023 21:45
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I’m spending an inordinate amount of time this evening shuffling night shift machine operators through a training regimen handed down from corporate. They are all learning this evening the finer points of: How to behave a trade show What’s insider trading and what ain’t What to do when asked for a bribe What to do when offered a bribe What gifts you can or cannot accept from vendors What gifts you can or cannot offer politicians Sigh.
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Sep 21, 2023 21:58
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I present to you an exam question from the Month 5, Week 3 exam in Google Career Certificates' Digital Marketing and E-Commerce certification (the selected answer isn't the right answer I just lol'd at the wording because goddamnit it that's factually correct, they do this poo poo all the time) deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Sep 21, 2023 |
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Sep 21, 2023 21:59
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tactlessbastard posted:I’m spending an inordinate amount of time this evening shuffling night shift machine operators through a training regimen handed down from corporate.
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Sep 21, 2023 22:18
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